tell me about your friends /r9k/, or the ones you wish you had

CONTINUED...
>hang on to a few friends who either didnt rly mind me that much, or are /thatguyaforementioned/
>starts getting irritated at everyone except that group
>sickofalltheshit.jpg
>tries hard to be a better person for these guys
>none of them rely want me as a friend
>fuck
>manages to piss everyone else off at some point
>starts being either more desperate and/or socially awkward and withdrawn, interchangeably
>/thatguyaforementioned/ finds me rly annoying, but will often put up with it
>hey ok.jpg
>we talk a bit
>start texting while doing homework about random shit
>what we r sick of, random shit like that
>hey we might be friends.jpg?
>'nah, anon, can't force a friendship'
>punch in guts
>butwhat.jpg
>text to ask if we can talk at school tomorrow
>'ok'
>school is normal, don't rly talk to anyone
>friends still want me to piss off but they are too nice to say it to my face
>im usually the only one of my friends left out of anything outside of school
>feelsbadman.jpg, maybe i should just piss off
>don't want to be loner from before so persevere
>they think i don't know about them doing shit, and whenever i ask whether i can come along they will always ask each other, cos they are all too nice to say it to my face
>eventually one of them says 'no, anon'
>feelsbadman.jpg
>falls into a pattern most weeks of being rejected to do shit with 'friends', and texting /thatguy/if we can talk tomorrow

CONTINUED YET AGAIN
>sick of all of that
>nothing i can do that won't make my situation worse
>fuck
>keep going with weekly routine, hoping that one weekend they will accept me?
>notyet
>headinhands.jpg
>some of friends start band
>get rejected multiple times when asking to join even though they don't have a rhythm guitarist
>starts being really annoying
>life is rapidly becoming like it was before
>haha great
>is now permanently pissed off at everything, and miserable
>while all my friends are having fun with each other on friday/saturday/sunday im crying in bed wishing i was /oneofthem/
>but im not
>still texting /thatguy/, but start annoying him so bad he sometimes doesnt reply
>starts making him secretly hate me
>thats how shitty a human i am
>we will often make up cos he's a good guy
>fast-forward a month
>most of my friends are now trying to get in with girls, i know that Im going to get fucked over so don't even bother joining them
>/thatguy/ doesn't either
>oh yeah forgot to say i'm straight kek
>anyway, manage to become more of an outcast
>many of my friends are now like acquaintances now
>now permanently miserable
>And pissed off

This isn't your personal blog, faggot.

>one day decide to think about /endingitall/
>yeww
>/thatguy/ finds out, talks me off the figurative ledge
>thanks mate
>starts depending on /thatguy/ everytime i feel like /uknowwhat/
>apart from that, barely says anything at school for fear of losing non-existent social standing, and /thatguy/'s friendship
>now hates most people
>bitter
>rejected from everything
>everytime i get rejected i manage to feel worse
>doingtheimpossible?
>continues every week
>one day /thatguy/ says 'pls stop anon'
>feels like i just got knocked over by a tidal wave
>'wha?'
>no reply
>im at the end of all this shit
>decide if i dont kill myself tonight, i am never talking to anyone in order to become a friend again
>im just that shit at life I can piss ppl who feel sorry for me off
>/thatguy/ still doesn't reply
>i now know my life is indeed worthless
>strive to feel nothing again
>writes my first greentext
>hereiam.jpg
that was a lot longer than expected

Diaries are a lot easier bud, you also won't embarrass yourself in it.