Does anyone else live with a constant desire to die? Like, not

>>39254981
For me it is not even to die. I don't want my loved ones to have to deal with that, even if it were not my own fault. I've had this feeling that I just want to drift away, to cease to exist. I'm not in misery, I just want to be done.

Yes.
I've come close to dying many times, but wasn't successful.

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>>39254981
I feel you anon. I want to die but I don't want to kill myself. Life is meaningless if you have no meaning in life

>>39255051
Fuck, yes this is it. I just wish I never existed, like I was some random mistake of the universe that's just meant to evaporate into nothing.

I don't even expect to be happy anymore, I just want to stop feeling like there's a 40 pound weight in my stomach

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>>39254981
Hi Marla

>>39254981
I had a dream I died in my sleep and was exploring the land of the dead
Then I woke up
Disappointed

>>39254981
I dont want to kill myself but still want to die from time to time.

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>>39254981
Yes, I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of pain.

>>39254981
Where is this pic from? An anime? The scene looks so comfy.

Also I spent most of the last year wishing I wuld die in my sleep. I'm too chicken to off myself, so I hoped it would happen in my sleep. Every day I woke up I thought "ugh, goddamnit".

The feeling has gone away recently though, because I have a couple of things in the works.

I think it's to do with hope. I have a glimmer of hope now so my life force is starting to come back. I had no hope before so wanted it all to end.

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im slowly working up the courage to an hero myself. i am 26 now, i am giving myself until the day before i turn 28 to turn things around. sick of being unemployed, sick of always being alone, sick of just barely making it. literal retards have jobs and all i get are rejections. ive wanted to doe for a long time, but im too young to get a serious illness to kill me and too inactive to die in an accident. end me please god.

>>39254981
i want to disappear completely.
suicide is not an option because i am constantly being watched for that for a while.

Not only to I constantly want to die, I am confounded by the idea that most people actually like life. It makes no sense to me.

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>>39257023
You remind me of myself, but I'm 25, not sure when I will do the hanging but I think about it everyday. I am also sick of being alone, I am also sick of just barely making it, I am also in complete confusion how some people have jobs but cannot fucking plug in a god damned computer or for my mother how to turn the sound on the tv but works a 60k salary job (main assumption is extroversion socializing)

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>>39254981
Sometime ago I was cycling to kill time, like I do for so long, and there was a thunderstorm brewing on the horizon and I rode there. I was scared, but at the same time kind of excited and hopeful that it might be my end.

Subconsciously I knew that the chance of getting hit by lightning is quite low, despite me having steel bicycle, because the area I was going through. But had it happen, it wouldn't count as suicide, and would spare my close one thoughts that they might have had prevent it.