After a long binge of drug-use, Anon decides to become sober

>>39252147
Extreme BDSM and rapeplay

>>39252147
Drugs

Oskdbdjdjdj

>>39252147
Anon quickly does the math in his head...
>"i'm 25... another 40... 35 years? 35 years... 25 if i'm lucky, and I will have died staying out of trouble and maintaining a somewhat active pursuit of staying out of trouble and living a life that isn't as miserable as I'm hoping it won't be"

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>>39252147
Ah being sober sounds like a nice future, not having to deal with any more comedowns and just feeling healthy and bright every day. Sounds nice.

The thought crosses Anon that, "There has to be something more to life than working 60 hours a week for major retail corporations at minimum wage."
So Anon decides to start trying to kill himself in more subtle ways than drug use and physical harm.
Anon proceeds to consume sugar and other unhealthy foods in large quantities on a daily basis.
He also decides to start chain-smoking.

>"Heh, at this rate, I'll only have 15 years left to live this shitty existence. Thanks God."

>>39252262
It gets monotonous and boring, believe it or not. The mental clarity is nice, but sobriety doesn't bring enlightenment, neither do drugs for that matter, but life can be very, very, very dull and boring when you're sober all the time.

>>39252147
Anon does some introspection....
And, recounting his years of drug abuse and self-destructive behavior, realizes a truth. A dark, cold, unavoidable truth.

There is nothing else. There is no one else. His hedonistic lifestyle had only brought him temporary joy, and on the other side of that tunnel, only the sheer dead-end of a wall without anyone to comfort him, or anything to pursue.
Overcome with the fear of having to bear this truth any longer, he decides to end this pitiful existence on his own terms.

>>39252284
see >>39252267
Anon doesn't want to kill himself outright. He just wants to die having lived doing the right thing, but he thinks the right thing is boring, which it is.

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>>39252280
that's why I turned to drugs in the first place, I don't watch tv/movies or play games or anything anymore it's just not as fun as drugs. Went from once a month to once every 2 weeks to every weekend now its almost daily, literally every weekend is a 3 day bender for me. I'm kinda sick of it but whenever I start getting sick of it I just find a new drugs to add to the experience and it all becomes novel again, its getting real taxing on my mind and body I hate myself and love myself at the same time.

>>39252147
>six months of being a drug addict neet
>get a job
>quit drugs
>move out of home and country
>everything expensive
>want to save
>no fun allowed
>job stressful
>want drugs again
There is LITERALLY nothing else that interests me more at this point in my life than smoking a massive amount of weed