Pysch Shit

>prozac

woah, would've thought this protodrug would be off the market by now

>>39222505
I legitimately want to kill myself right now
What the fuck can I even do?

>>39222469
I've taken those for years. In the first few weeks I got even more depressed but after that I just stopped feeling.

My body and brain did get a bit fucked up around the same time I stopped taking those, but the doctors don't think it's related

I can't stand this it won't stop what do I do fuck me fuck you psychiatrist fucking die in a fire fuck

>>39222469
Prozac is actually the best SSRI for reducing chances of brain zaps (due to having the longest half life of any SSRI) so if you're getting those you won't find a better SSRI. Switch to something else, there are other antidepressants that work but aren't SSRIs. Try an SNRI like effexor or cymbalta, or an atypical antidepressant like bupropion or mirtazapine.

Hell, you could even go the new-school route and by yourself try a dissociative like ketamine or psychedelics like LSD/Shrooms. The new research is looking good on them.

>>39222469
See if you can get on Wellbutrin. I specifically chose it because you don't get limp dick, and it gives me a lot more energy in general without being too much of a stimulant.

>>39222750
Stop taking it retard.

>>39222816
I just want to be happy without these things
why can't that happen?
I feel like this is too difficult to manage

>>39222837
I have, I've been on 20mg daily for a week now, so I may take one last pill, or try manage without it
But I think many of the symptoms are stemming from not taking it, which pisses me off, because the psychs don't say shit about this, and even though I'd read about it, I didn't think it could possibly be /this/ bad. How could things get worse, right? Fuck me

Also, sorry to be annoying as fuck, but this shit is just absolutely fucking with my head. It has me sobbing like mad when I haven't done that in months
Fuck the pharmaceutical companies who didn't take the time to find something better. Fuck my brain for needing them in the first place. Fuck the universe for not having a better solution. Fuck things for being hard. Fuck them all.

>>39222843
Listen anon, I have clinical depression. I haven't gone to a doctor so they can shove pills down my throat and rape my wallet. I've had this for 8 years now after my parents divorced and I lost all my friends and got bullied. There are ways out of it besides expensive therapy and pills. What I did is I removed everything from my life that brought me down. I moved states and brought my gf with me. I started eating better and exercising. It's been an uphill battle and sometimes I want to give up but every day I get better. I'm 2 years into my big change and I feel much better but I have a long road ahead of me. It isn't always solved with pills. It's solved with change. I'll be lurking If you have questions.

>>39222843
I felt like that for a very long time, and most of the time if things were better you wouldn't need them but if you need to drink coffee to get energy to do stuff it's pretty much the same thing but works a lot better in general. I also have more energy to do more stuff and work towards changing my situation.

>>39222882
It's withdrawals anon, that stuff is addicting it's designed to be.

I have been on generic lexapro for a few years and it was on 10mg mostly. the past year I've gone down to only 5mg but it doesn't work and I want off. I am terrified of quitting because of the withdrawels...
My life is already shit. I NEED HELP!

>>39222988
Clinical depression fag here, it's gonna get worse before it gets better but it will get better.

>>39222469
Haha I like going to my crazy doctor she's hot as fuck and always bends over so I can see her tits and nipples, most drugs and therapy doesn't work but it can't hurt, I go to mine for help to keep my bennys

>>39222970
I've been addicted to opiates, and it's easier to deal with than this (though only barely so). It's just fucked up

>>39222940
I literally wouldn't even know how to start. I don't get out of bed. I haven't eaten a meal in days. I just want to be happy. Why is that too much to ask for?

>>39222941
I need energy/motivation, but generally those things make the anxiety so much worse and fuck up my sleep schedule more so than it usually is

>>39223008
What do you mean? What is going to get worse? I have been depressed for over 7 years now and it's pretty fucking bad. I can't enjoy ANYTHING. I am scared of withdrawels. My doctor said lexapro doesn't give you withdrawels. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>39222469
Well 1 it's not like you were using your penis anyway and 2 are you a dicklet? That means under 7 by 6.5

>>39223032
I was and I'm not - still not happy
>Inb4 normo
It's not normal to want to die all day every day

>>39222469
I take all kinds of crazy meds it puts you in a zombie haze but fuck it why not?

>>39223019
Here's how to start.
Step 1 get up and eat some food.
Step 2 make a list of all the shitty things in your life.
Step 3 work towards changing those things, I know it's hard from lack of motivation and energy but if you can do one thing a day no matter how small soon you'll see what a difference you've made. It's a hard road but it's your road you need to take.
Step 4 keep yourself distracted and moving. Once you stop your not gonna want to start back up and may slip back down the hole.

>>39223031
It can always get worse. Your doctor is lying to you. If you don't want to you don't have to its your choice, but so you really want to live like this?

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If this depression doesn't end soon then I honestly think I could get to the point of suicide.
Why am I even working and doing shit I dislike when I get no enjoyment from anything? What is the fucking point? All I got is my best friend and dog. I honestly am so depressed I don't even get enjoyment out of hanging with my friend often or taking my dog for a walk like I used to. I can't laugh or smile. My brain feels like mush and everything is just unclear. I have no confidence or motivation to better myself.

The absolute worst part is I can't even escape into other worlds very often at all. I hardly enjoyment video games, music, movies, books and TV shows. Those used to help get me through the work day because I had something I was looking forward to and progressing in. I never thought I'd get suicidal but it's getting close. I'm 25 and I don't see myself feeling actual joy and happiness. I can't even fucking cry!

>>39223117
I don't want to live like this, no. I am wasting away so many years of my youth and my life. It's fucked up how much I've missed out on. I feel like a kid, I don't feel like an adult man.

>>39223089
I'm not hungry because I never do anything
There is nothing objectively shitty about my life aside from the fact that I just seem to lack whatever causes normal people to want to live or do things. I just don't want anything. I have no real desires (aside from the irrational and impossible one for happiness)
Tried changing it, the chemicals fucked it up so much more
How do I move?

>>39223127
Seriously so much this

it's just all too much for me
I don't know how other people do it
it's so hard and it's not fair and they act like it's somehow my fault
like I fucking want to be this way
Like I wouldn't choose happiness in a fucking second if I could
I'd probably sell my fucking """soul""" for it
But I just can't find it
And it isn't fucking fair
Life isn't fair and so fuck that, fuck you life
Why am I forced to do this?
I want the fuck out
I am done with this
I do not want to feel this way anymore
Feeling nothing would be better at this point
I sleep (usually) for 20 hours a day and am constantly tired
I am basically already dead except that I am leeching off of others
Why bother?

>>39223164
Move as is leave like I did or move out of bed?

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39222940
>brought my gf with me.

>>39223312
both, i guess

nuncas popolo

>>39223391
Well once you get up for any reason don't go back to bed do you have a job?

>>39223435
why should he not go back to bed? I have to get up at 4:40am in the morning and sometimes I'd get up to pee at 3am and can't fall back asleep. I lie there super fucking pissed because I start my day early enough

>>39223435
no. I was going to university and then started failing all my shit because of the obvious, so I withdrew "temporarily" but I can't even imagine going back
I can't imagine doing anything

I love my ssri (celexa) Turned off my anxiety and depression most of the time. I tried weening off and failed. Idgaf if im on it for life id rather have the blissful numbness than crippling anxiety and depression

Took some Xanax, and now I'm having fewer badfeels, but not feeling good either. Also fuck I'm going to run out of my script early this is hell up my dosage you fucking Jew so I can be functional already

>>39222940
>has money and motivation to move states
>has a GF

next time you're out exercising you should jump off a cliff

>>39222469
Get on wellbutrin if you want boners

My case
>HS is hell
>no future
>go NEET
>suicidal and kinda going nuts
>8 months later
>diagnosed bipolar and got on lamotrigine
>got better for about 3 months
>still lack energy, focusing is impossible, still no path in life, everything is meaningless, etc
>get on wellbutrin
>doesn't fix shit, just slightly more energetic
>pretty much same as I was before, just not "all over the place" now

Thats it

>>39223865
>HS was* hell
Fixed

>>39222469
That shit made me feel so odd. I remember just spacing out constantly, even more so than usual, and I had panic attacks when I tried to sleep.
>falling for the jew pill meme
Not even once.

>be me
>be on a myriad on psychotropic drugs
>feel no difference compared to before
>now when I off them I go completely and utterly loopy
This shit ruins lives.

Why havent I killed myself yet?
Oregananaio

>>39222469

I'm actually coming off of Celexa right now. These pills are evil. They only seem to help minimally at best.

try sam-e and ashwagandha. also go on /r/nootropics and do some research

inb4 leddit

>>39222469
SSRIs are the fuckin demon. Probably the worst decision I ever made, nothing has been the same since. I literally have no one in my life now.

>>39224074
I agree. People ought to have to face up to this shit, answer for their part in it


>>39224086
I don't know why I keep going on. I don't even want to, except that I have the tiniest sliver of hope that I may one day be happy, though I doubt it greatly.

>>39224102
They are. I didn't understand as personally as I do now. But 'evil' is the only word for it. I'll definitely look into nootropics

>>39224155
I told my last psych to fuck off with that shit and stopped going. Don't know why the hell I fell for it this time. I guess I just had to do SOMETHING, even though that thing has made life way more fucking shitty

>>3922347
So you live with your parents then?

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>>39222469
>mfw fucktards actually take pills besides vitamins
>mfw anybody could be dumb enough to fall for this shit
But yeah, a bloo bloo muh suburban life is depressing
Fuck off

>>39223462
Because he then has to get up again and that can be hard. I'm trying to make this easier not more comfortable cus the latter won't happen.

>>39223859
I never had either before I started I hated my job but I stuck with it until I had enough to leave. The days where you can just go and find work or live with little to no money are over.

>>39224246
at the moment, yes, though they only make things worse and I'm beginning to harbor a growing resentment towards them, even though they're providing for me

>psych won't prescribe me xanax because he thinks I will get addicted to them
>he prescribes it to an old woman who is already a junkie
Fuck it all

>>39224344
Xanax and all benzos are garbage

>>39224309
My suggestion is get a job, you can't move with out money. You gotta remember they love you they might not show it because they are annoyed at you but they do anon, I'm gonna be honest the grind sucks dick. And this road is a hard one but hard roads lead to green pastures. Also if I didn't mention vitamins won't always but can effect your mood especially vitamin d.

>>39224385
What about when you're having panic attacks?

>>39224385
yeah but they made me not want to kill myself quite as much, so they've got more going for them than SSRIs

>>39224386
My mother literally sat me down after breakfast one day and told me flatly that she didn't love me. I was 18 at the time, 19 now.

I'll try to get a job though. I think maybe that's at least something. I'll have to get my FUCKING JEW CUNT ((("""DOCTOR"""))) to prescribe me a higher dose of benzos so I can actually leave the house, though

>>39224574
I can't imagine having a mother that bad. What did you do, anon?

>>39224653
Self-medicated with opioids since they wouldn't actually do anything about my numerous (now 'documented' for whatever the fuck good that does me, though I guess I don't get any >self-diagnosis memes thrown at me) psych issues that I had.

Never once stole money, harmed anyone, or anything. Never even broke the law, as far as I can tell. But apparently they made me evil, and after coming off of them (now on scripted meds which are infinitely more expensive, don't work for shit, and literally almost just made me kill myself) I was "so much better" - but I heard them talking while I was 'asleep' and she said "I'm not so sure about him." What the fuck does that even mean? Jesus fucking christ I hate her. She also disposed of my (again, LEGAL) opioids and forced me into withdrawals, which is a hell I would never wish on almost anyone. So yeah. Fuck her. But I guess I """deserve it""" for wanting to kill myself and trying to prevent that.

>>39224811
have*** sorry
most definitely still fucking have them

>>39224811
oh shit, not to mention throwing away my psych meds MULTIPLE TIMES

I posted this in another thread, but the bitch is lucky that shit didn't make me fucking snap. I even called the police on her for that (and they've called them on me for "yelling") and they didn't do shit, yet she LITERALLY ADMITTED TO BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF ME TO THE OFFICER, AND HE SAID HE'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO COME BACK AND ARREST ME IF I WAS EVER YELLING AGAIN, since she need only 'fear she was facing imminent danger' or some fucking bullshit. I want to see all cops dead now. I won't do it myself, fbi, I'm too depressed. But I can't say I wouldn't smile if someone else did it for me.

>>39224882
And I know I'm being edgy as fuck, but I'm basically having a breakdown, so I hope you'll all allow me this

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>Be Google diagnosed depressed
>Don't want to get certified by a doctor just in case they force me to take meds
Wat do

>>39225174
they can't force you to take meds, but they'll probably try to coerce you into taking them, and sometimes that's even worse, because I know I did this to myself. Never again. I don't know what the answer is, but I KNOW POSITIVELY AND ABSOLUTELY that it is NOT SSRIs.

>>39225174
If you don't want to take meds, why see a doctor? Bragging rights on /r9k/?
>hurr durr i'm doctor certified so my depression is not a meem

>>39225174
They won't force or coerce you. They can offer non-pharmaceutical therapies like CBT or other psychoanalytic frameworks. SSRIs are worth a shot because they usually work. It sucks when they don't and you still shouldn't give up. There are plenty of other good suggestions on this thread but one anon is hellbent on painting SSRIs as a root of evil or something. They fucking save lives, I'm sorry it didn't work for you anon.

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>>39223339
you really should be going back now :^)))))

>>39225215
I just self-medicate with hard drugs on days that I get bad. :^)

>>39225250
Fortunately, my thing just comes in episodes. I'm pretty happy rn, but I dunno how I'll be in a few months. I'll probably visit a doctor at that point.

>>39225250
I think there are three of us, I'm OP and angry because I feel so shitty right now.

>>39225347
I unironically did this if you read above. Not sure if you're fucking with me or not

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How do I break the news with my family that I have depression? I'm 19 so I still live off of my parent's insurance. I decided that I'm finally going to get help so I don't fail uni this semester, but I don't really know how to go about it.

As of right now I have an almost perfect relationship with them where I'm mostly independent, and I'm afraid that this will change everything.

>>39222469
I want to take ADs, but I'm affraid they don't work or make me feel worse and fuck me up forever. I can't avoid thinking the only thing that comes after that is suicide. But I don't really have more options cause I can't have a normal life feeling like this. I feel more or less okay staying at home all day without pressures (I'm a neet) but I'm missing out everything.
I have depression, anxiety and insomnia (even if I get much sleep it doesn't make me feel much better though, just stable. If I don't get enough sleep I feel much, much worse)
I cold tukey'd from klonopin 2mg a day, two months ago. I like to think I feel like I feel because of that, I mean I had my sympthoms before the klonopin, but after the cold turkey, they got A LOT worse.

>>39222469
>On Lexapro
>Works great for a year except for dead dick
>Creativity dampened but don't constantly think about killing myself
>Suddenly shit
>No more motivation at all
>Frequent dissociation episodes
>Get paranoid about long term effects
>Impulsively decide to go cold turkey
>Almost constant brain zaps
>Felt like a cattle prod to the head
>Dizzy spells
>Two weeks of weird hell
>Sun seems to come out
>Creativity back
>So horny I feel like I'm in heat
>Have greatest fap since my first
>Have best sleep
>Realised Lexapro had been keeping me from deeply sleeping
There will be a breakthrough, it'll just take time

>>39224574
Sorry to hear that anon, do you have a car or any friends to move out with? That would be the next step since living alone is hard

>>39222469
idk if youre too stupid to look up medication before you try it or too young to use this site

>>39226040
No car, friends all in uni housing
It's the first step that's the hardest

>>39226077
I did, told him I basically hated them and didn't want to take them
>Social anxiety like fuck, so easily coerced into taking them
>Feel like shit, just like I expected
>Hate people more
>Hate myself more
Fun.

>>39222469
>Go to psychiatrist
>Try a couple of drugs, first couple are awful
>continue to try different ones until I find the one that's right for me
>Feel great.
>Glad I stuck it out.
>Still a robot but at least not suicidal now.

You pussies give up after trying a single drug. What a bunch of cucks.

>>39226169
yes, I'm a pussy
That's what the anxiety is all about
It's why I feel like this in the first place

>>39226134
Well maybe you can live with one of them once their either out of uni or get an apartment. It's getting out that's hard but it gets better then your away from your mom and have much more freedom

>>39226262
Have you considered asking about ADD medication?

>>39226360
Tried it before, helped kind of, but I think I need to combine it with my benzo to get any real effects, otherwise my anxiety and sleep are fucked.

>>39226273
I may go back to uni, not sure

>>39226477
That would be good but that costs money and student loans are a trap

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>mfw I took that Prozac shit in adult doses when I was eleven years old
I was literally an emotionless zombie that thought about death a lot. I remember sitting in class thinking about death so hard I got tunnel vision and nearly passed out.

>>39222469
I know these exact same feels bro, but with effexor. Down to 9mg every 48 hours but if I don't take it it's brain zap city.

>>39226851
Good thing mommy still wants to pay even though she claims not to love me. What the fuck

>>39226920
That's fucked up, incredibly sorry to hear that

>>39227558
What are the brain zaps exactly? I'm not sure if it's actually them or if I'm being a hypochondriac again. Really fucking sorry to hear that it's happening to you, though

>>39227745
Oh, I'm also on clonidine. What are your experiences with that, bots?

I started prozac a few weeks ago.
I'm on 80mg daily, that's meant to go up, when I can be bothered seeing my doctor. The physical side effects are worse than other meds I've had to try, the typical nausea, lethargy, etc are all there but the most insufferable one for me is I feel like there's a lump in my throat constantly. I'm almost 90% sure it actually is there, it certainly fucking feels there and I'm producing a lot of mucus. I stopped taking the pills for 2 days, it disappeared - restarted and it's back. idk wtf is going on

I always just stop caring about my existence or improvement so I give up my meds, will probably happen with this too, and soon.

>>39228206
I had the lump in throat feeling once because of benzo witdrawal. Combined with lack of apetite, eating fucking sucked. It went away after two days though

>suffer severe anxiety my entire life
>one day try amphetamine
>no anxiety, focus and motivation
>try benzos with amphetamines
>feel like a normal human bean
>fast forward 2 years
>wreck of a person having intrusive thoughts of dead bodies and voices telling me to kill myself if I don't take my dose of benzos
>anxiety worse than before
Anxiety is fucking dreadful. I don't know how I'm carrying on to be honest.

>>39229097
how did you get the amphetamines

>>39229133
Through the internet.

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Nomatter how bad the drugs are

life is worse.

As a rule of thumb if a "doctor" highly "recommends X medication for X problem"
Find a new one that isn't a kike trying to sell you pills. Find one that actually gives a fuck about you.
If your on the pills get the fuck off of them they'll only turn you into a pill popping zombie.
CBD is probably the answer to your shit.

>>39223011
>tits and nipples
Does she not wear a bra? How hot is she? Who does she look like?

>>39222469
I remember having the best results overall from trazodone. It worked bretty gud until 6 months in when all my sleep became nonstop nightmares. No deep sleep, just all REM sleep which was all nighmares all the time.
Mirtazapine worked well too but I quit taking it for whatever reason I don't remember. Withdrawal was a major bitch, was basically living out a multi-day long panic attack until I realized what was going on and that I had to taper that shit.

Anyway there are fuckloads of antidepressants, one is bound to be halfway effective and bearable. Just try to get anything other than an SSRI next time. For me they make it almost impossible to get off. They are also prescribed for ED.
Actually wellbutrin was probably the most effective given the energy it gave me back but it gives me ungodly constipation.
The main thing is keep trying new shit but don't give any one pill more than 6 weeks if it's not doing it for you.

>Consider taking anti-depressants to try and help fix my brain.
>Look up side effects.
>Now comfortable in my misery.
I may want to die but at least I'm not on fucking anti-depressants.

Antidepressants are a meme that make you feel worse or don't do anything unless you're a brainlet gullible enough to fall for a placebo.

>>39231623
but they've done many placebo controlled studies

>>39222469
Im going to stay away all night and hope i get some relief from depression tomorrow

>>39231861
>exceptions are the rule
ummm no honey not how it works

>>39231883
you cant honey post big pharma they always win, sorry kid. people are going to keep taking ssri pills

>>39231898
I know. No need to shill for them, though.

>>39231916
but really im sure they do work in some cases

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I've been on Prozac (30mg) for a while now, and it's helping, at least a little bit.
It's not like I feel better, but it takes some of the pain away.