ITT: Jokes that nobody laughed at Bonus points if they made

>>39182114
>told columbine jokes to my "friend"
>he got scared about them
>FBI visited my house

>made others think less of you as a person
it made me think less of myself as a person, I literally can't even hear a knock at the door without loosing consciousness

I've been diagnosed with goofy dick
When I skeet in my gf's mouth she does a goofy impression
>ughh-yuuck

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>on date with qt girl
>she goes to bathroom
>comes out
>I have to say something, literally anything. Chad would just say the first thing that comes to his mind.
>"how was it"
>she gives pathetic fake smile
I have no idea why I thought that would be funny

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>>39182114
>bartender
>couple of girls who were sitting at bar leaves me a tip
>manager says if i wanted to pick up girls i should have went to barcelona (he went there for a holiday recently)
>tell him I dont want to get ran over just yet
>he just looks at me and walks away

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two and two makes what?
>a ballerina

>>39182236
I would have laughed anon, that's pretty funny.

>>39182114
>talking with black friend walking up stairwell
>he calls me a cuck
>respond "at least I'm not a nigger"
>nigress comes running down stairwell, berates the both of us

>>39182236
Bartender was being a faggot that's funny

>>39182304
>tfw no black friend to call a nigger

>>39182345
You're not really missing out on anything. The magic wears off pretty quickly.

>>39182210
She's a bitch if she didn't find that funny tbhp

I probably shouldn't have said this while having dinner with my family.
Why did tim throw the clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold clock, the man convicted with knife raping tim's wife

>>39182210
That'd be funny if it was with a good friend of the same sex. In your situation I usually just make some joke about how I must be slipping on my creep game if she came back.

>>39182114
>iCuck telling me how he read Steve Jobs biography book
>goes on and on about him and his accomplishments in life
>at the end of it all I go "heh, and then he died"
>literally no reaction at all, just staring blankly in front of us as we walk

>>39182594
Snorted in real life

I never got the chance because every time I try and say something my "(((friends)))" would talk over me. Only reason they had me around was because I was some sort of knock knack to them,on account I was ,and still am, a devil worshipping pussy hound.

I was talking to a guy about abortion and I said something along the lines that I don't mind kids dying it's enjoyable to watch them die or being tortured

I told my dad I have a white friend

lmao I got my ass beat but it was worth it I could barley say that shit with a straight face tho lmao

>>39182995
Yeah haha who wants to be friends with white people. White people are devil and tricksters. You know the saying; never relax near the whites. One time I was walking down the street to my house and a group of white guys trying hussling me out of my well earned pay check and like the responsible black man I am I let them have my girlfriend instead. It's only fair though,it would be selfish if I kept her to myself. Hahahahahah

>>39183043
nigga you GOOFY AF dawg the fuck you talmbout tryina front like whiteboi be shit LMFAO bro

im only 19 and I dug out more whiteboys girlfriends then all of you niggas will ever kiss an actual woman in yo lifes bro the fuck outta here miss me with that white appologist bullshit bro lmfao THE FUCK you think this is nigga?

>>39182995
>>39183043
>>39183091
fuck wh*tes

>>39183091
I am just as black as you,my black comrade. Now let's go do taxes and pray like proper black men should.

>>39183107
fr fr bro the fucks with these niggas these days fuck whites bro

>Was friends with a based nig in school
>We're on a school bus to a trip somewhere
>Telling jokes
>Blurt out "5 4 3 2 1, Bin Laden on the run, pull that trigger, shoot that nigger, 5 4 3 2 1"
>Didn't realise what I said until after I said it
>Slightly awkward silence

He was alright about it though

>>39183130
What the fuck was the context anon?

>>39182236
That was a good fucking joke

>With White Friend

>His goofy ass Start talkin some shit about Obama

>Tell his lil goofy ass He better Shut tha Fuck up Fo i Beat His lil white Ass

>Bitch ass Nigga shuts up But tries and Make some Snide ass Fuckin noises like "HMPFH"

>That The last Fuckin straw nigga first Obama now this pussy ass Noise shit bro?

>Start FLAMING his ass

>Bring up his Whore mother

>His ass Get angry af and start screaming

>I Sit there like Aw shit The fuck I do? This nigga Boutta shoot up the schoolbus

>He End up screamin so long he passes out Cuz he run out of breath

>I end up Laughin hard Af and still got Bruise on my knee from Slappin it two this day

>>39183261
nice

reddit

spacing

dude

upvoted

>>39183279
tfw reddit doesnt have spacing like that

nice fourchan spacing

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not really a joke i made but
i went to a private highschool like 6 years ago that gave us ipads one year for some reason and i saved a bunch of edgy memes i took from 4chan and shit and some kid saw pic related while i was showing him the ones i thought were funny and then he got me suspended and the dean didn't think it was funny because he had a black daughter, and neither did the school board who looked through the rest of my pictures and found hentai/loli stuff
i almost got expelled lol

>>39183493
>private highschool
>white
Ignored cringe faggot hide post cya faggot also reported in hopes ur ban evading or some shit so u dont reply to me maybe ill get lucky

>>39183139
We were sitting in the back of the bus telling jokes and I thought it would be a good sort of joke/rhyme to tell. My mouth was ahead of my brain I think.

>>39183397
You

Have

To

Have

A

Blank

Line

For

New

Paragraphs

In

Reddit

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>>39183662
>tfw

>redditcuck

>exposes

>himself

>mission

>accomplished

>falmalam

>>39183687
get
off
my
board
you
goddamn
redditors

>Putting in line breaks / >At all / >Being this new / >>>/out/

>>39182210
i use this joke all the time and it always works