tell me how you fap anon, in detail.

>grab peepee
>PULL ON IT
>hear "snap"
>male milk comes out

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>>39160752
Alice in the first stage, got it shipped from japan for $20, it's lasted over a year and comes with lube and a bag
just put a drop of lube in, pump until finish and then use paper towels and water to clean it, almost nightly

begrudgingly

>grab paper towel
>wrap it around my cock
>wank
>2-4 minutes later shoot goo

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>>39160752
I beat the devil out of it

Dick-beating expert reporting in

>lay down in bed for the night
>browse pornographic images on phone with left hand
>start teasing flaccid dick, playing with foreskin
>quickly become erect
>start slowly stroking
>speed up a bit when I come across an image I really like
>use the image as an aid for fantasizing abstractly
>only linger for a minute at most on an image
>keep it going for usually around an hour
>edge once or twice
>once I start panting and writhing around a bit I'm ready to cum
>find the perfect image
>start jerking like a madman
>body shaking, breathing heavily, bucking hips
>start cumming
>try to stifle moans, sometimes can't
>let the cum fly wherever it will (usually belly/chest), wasting effort trying to catch it makes it less intense
>strongest point of orgasm lasts about 10-15 seconds
>keep stroking a bit more gently for 30 seconds or so after that to lengthen it
>it's like jolts of electricity originating at the tip of the penis and spreading throughout the body
>afterwards bask in the afterglow for 5-10 minutes breathing deeply and enjoying the flood of endorphins
>use an old shirt to mop up cum after a bit
>throw it on the floor, roll over and go to sleep for the night

>>39160752
Well first I cut off a piece of sandpaper

>>39161309
>Well first I cut off a piece of sandpaper
And then what?

>>39160752
more important is how we should deal with cum
drop it in the trash = have to deal with smell
drop it in the toilet = too "solid" to go down in 1 go and might get plumbing problems

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>>39161671
>smell
nigga what do you eat?

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>put balls inbetween legs
>push at the base of penis
>ejaculate

I'm pretty sure I'm making myself infertile.

>>39161671
>drop it in the toilet = too "solid" to go down in 1 go and might get plumbing problems

Fucking excuse me? How the hell would you get plumbing problems from a couple wads of toilet paper, much less just jizzing straight in the toilet

>>39161698

Just because you can't smell it doesn't mean no one else can.
Also, if yours doesn't have a slightly bleach-y smell to it, what do YOU eat

>can't have tissues lying around the computer lest it implies something
>get 2 (two) toilet paper squares from the bathroom
>fold it neatly under my keyboard
>load up my favorite non degenerate and wholesome hetereosexual white on white intimacy clip I have saved
>begin pleasuring myself once foreplay is over
>make sure to finish in less than 10 minutes, can't spend my whole day doing this
>neatly cum into my folded toilet paper and fold that as well to avoid leaving an afterstench
>pull up my trousers and walk to the bathroom, folded toilet paper grasped with index finger and thumb
>dispose of it into the toilet and wash my hands free of any residue
>masturbation session completed, go back to /pol/

>>39161671
leave a cumrug in your room
leave your room
go back in room 5 hrs later
youll know the smell
you think it doesnt smell becuz youre used to it
same as sweat
the moment you realize you stink the others around you have realized it one hour before

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>>39161805
>"anon you should open the window"
>"what's that smell?"
>*face suddenly changes after crossing the door*

ARE YOU TELLING ME NORMIS CAN SMELL CUM?????

>>39161671
nigga what the fuck are you eating to give you loads that won't go down in 1 flush

>>39161832
for
>>39161698
he also said it
>>39161805
>just jizzing straight in the toilet
that means i have to cum in a retarded position in front of the shitter = 90% less enjoyable experience
too much thick paper will eventally cuz problems senpai

I fapped after I had an encounter in the elevator with a hot chick at work (fapped at home in my bed of course)

>>39161698
cum fucking stinks, you would know this if you were in an environment that didn't reek of it for longer than 5 minutes

>>39161897
Not everyone has smelly cum just because you do, dummy

>>39161895
>walking on campus
>walk past a super busty qt
>relieve myself in the closest bathroom

>>39161855

If you left your fuckin bedroom (not even the house, just your bedroom) for like half an hour and walked back in you could probably smell it

See: >>39161832

>>39161886

I just stand upright a foot or two back from the toilet, usually works out fine. But 99% of the time I just take a few squares of TP and throw that in there instead

Depends, but usual routine

>Decide on a category I want to beat my meat to
>Find some good stuffs (gifs are better than pictures)
>Slow fap
>Faster fap
>When close to the climax I sometimes like to calm down and not cum so soon
>Continue again until I'm ready to blow
>Find the best part of a gif/best image and cum buckets to it
>Sit in ecstasy breating heavy for a few mins
>Doesn't matter where cum went, I wipe it up with toilet roll afterwards and flush it down toilet
>Feel depressed that no GF
>Repeat experience next night, maybe with different genre/fetish/category

>>39161863
you seem to be stupid
1 piece of paper is too thin and will "leak" cum
so i use 3 so that the cum wont go through
then i have to roll those 3 on top of each other papers to take then to the bathroom
this ball of 3 papers and sticky cum 5/10 with just roll around the top when flushing instead of going down
jeez....

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>open some /gif/ threads
>start searching for those webms with audio
>start rubbing my dick over my clothes
>when it's time (i edge like two times before the time comes) i bring out my fleshlight
>put some olive oil in my dick, put some in my flesh light too
>start fucking it slowly and when i'm about to cum i fuck it faster

thats it

sometimes i just spit on my dick and fap normally but when i extremy horny i fuck my fleshlight

>>39161831
>2 (two) toilet paper squares
lmao this nigga does small cums

>>39161942
What third world country do you live in that your plumbing can't handle 3 sheets and a big of cum? Do you also have to shit into a wastebasket and only use the toilet for piss or something?

Question: What do anons do with the after-cum that continues to trickle out?
I make sure to piss afterward, but it doesn't help all that much. If I'm going to bed shortly after, I get some TP and stick it in my underwear so that I don't get postcum all over it.

>>39161998
Pissing usually always cleans my pipes, don't know what you're on about

>>39161981
honestly im pretty sure it can take it
>but
what if someday it clogs
what if the plumber opens it
what if the plumber says the problem was those cum filled papers your son throws away mam
lul

>>39162069
And here I thought I overanalyze things too much

>>39162069
that's not how plumbing works retard

>>39161998
that's what mouths are for

>>39161998
i honestly dont give a fuck
my dark boxers are filled with stains in the weiner area
i just scratch them off before putting it for laundry so that mummy wont see my cumstains

>>39162147
Point me to the nearest one, I'll be glad to give it a shot

>>39162189
That's p nasty brudi, how do you live with that? I like having a clean dick area

>most of the time have tissues ready unless it's very spontaneous
>lie on bed or lean back in desk chair
>spend ages looking for the right pr0n because I'm picky as fuck
>jerk the gerk (move the foreskin up and down in a slow motion gradually building speed)
>get out of breath at some point
>lose my edge
>have to work back up
>shoot goo
>try and get the goo on my bare stomach or upper leg and not on any clothing
>usually forget to pull my shirt up so I usually get it on my shirt
>mop up with tissue
>put tissue in bin
>flush tissue down the toilet and wash my hands when I can be bothered getting up

the end

Im pretty sure when I use a tissue it's bad to flush just that down, so I've taken to wrapping the tissue tightly in a bit of tp. Can some kind anon inform me if that would help/avoid fuck up plumbing?

>>39162289
Just use toilet paper instead

>get toilet paper from bathroom
>pull up 13 or so pics of fap material (usually gfur)
>wank with right hand
>cum after 5 min or so
>put toilet paper in my trash can after working cock like a toothpaste bottle for a bit
The end

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>Lie down in bed on the side
>watch porn
>grab 6 big pieces of kitchen paper, fold it in 2 in front of me on my bed
>beat my meat
>cum onto said kitchen paper
>wipe my dick with more kitchen paper
>keep one wrapped around my dick for the last few drips
> throw it all in the bin in my room
My question is, can you smell cum through the bin? Like my bin obviously doesn't smell very good but do you think my parents would notice the stench of cum through all that?

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>take out comfy thick cotton sock
>fold the top neck portion two - three times to make it nice and fluffly.
>fap
>no sound
>feels better than lotion , raw etc etc

>>39162556
Depends if you're a dude with smelly cum or not. If you hold it right up to your nose and it doesn't smell like anything you're probably fine. If you leave your room for awhile and come back in and it doesn't have an odor, you're definitely fine. Dudes with smelly cum like to project their issue onto everyone else when not everyone has that issue

>>39162621
I never understood the sock-fap meme. Rubbing fabric on your dick seems anti-comfy and abrasive

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>>39162653
You need nice fluffly cotton socks. There are a lot of socks ive tried that are wayyyyy too thin or ya abrasive. Get those thick winter work socks with the high neck. Fold the neck inside out halfway and make sure the fluffly smooth fabric side is on the inside. And Bam you're good to go.

>>39160752
>feel greedy for some free happiness
>consider fapping
>feel annoyed because it isn't guaranteed to be ahegao-tier
>sigh
>pull down front of sweatpants and tightie-whities
>idly fondle dick with left hand while clicking through fap folders with right hand
>it's all the same stuff I've fapped to a zillion times already
>sigh
>steel my resolve
>open a folder in ImageGlass, or a set of videos in VLC
>grasp still-mostly-flaccid dick in right hand and pull up and down vigorously
>flip through pics, or stare intently at video
>try to will myself to feel ahegao-tier pleasure
>fully hard now
>hand is knocking up against swollen dickhead
>arm hurts
>have to take three-second breaks to let it rest
>I feel unmasculine and angry because the futas in my fap folder don't need to exert so much effort to ejaculate
>keep going at it
>cum
>it wasn't ahegao-tier
>I continue feeling unmasculine and angry

>>39163019
Forgot aftermath.
>tuck T-shirt underneath chin
>cum on hairy abdomen
>sit for thirty seconds, wallowing in unmasculinity and resentment at how much effort I just wasted
>get up, wipe the cum off my paunch with a sock
>stuff the sock into my dirty-clothes bag

>>39163019

Literally just stop jerking off for like 3 days you stupid cunt