How do I get a happy attitude and design my life around self

>>39150951
Once you realize that one period of life doesnt define your whole life.

>>39150951
Fake it till you make it, basically. Start pretending you are happy and eventually you'll convince yourself that you are. Let other people know how happy you are so they reinforce the feeling. It should work unless you have depression or another serious mental disorder

>>39150997
>Fake it till you make it, basically
Not really. It's more about knowing your thinking habits and getting out of patterns.

>>39150976
i get what u mean anon. and sometimes i do move past it. but i think that period ended up affecting the rest of my life.

>>39151145
>but i think that period ended up affecting the rest of my life
Tell me about it. What happened? Bullying?

>>39151181
bullying, health issues, poorfag, nobody believes in me, neet who never had to work for anything, 0 experience in work environment and with girls,...

that's what I can come up with at the top of my head

>>39151243
>nobody believes in me
Do you believe in yourself? It's the most important thing. You can get experience any time.

>>39151264
I try, but I always fail once things go bad I fall back into the same mindset that got me in this situation in the first place. I don't even know what real happiness is, and in a way I'm afraid of it, because if I ever feel happy, it only lasts seconds and I feel miserable again.
I don't know if the concept of happiness is even possible to be registered in my brain.

imagine OP set up a conveyor belt that goes directly into his house, hoping he'd receive useful items.
the conveyor belt is doing nothing but churning in random turds and junk instead.

that's this thread and that's all these threads ever will be.

>>39151314
>I try, but I always fail once things go bad I fall back into the same mindset that got me in this situation in the first place
Any particular situation?

Do things. Bitch less.

Understand that your mood is something that can be changed to a large degree and doesn't really depend on external things.

File: adv.png (18KB, 1852x190px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 1852x190px

>>39150951
>>39151243
The first step is getting past your self pity; I went from robot to cyborg doing this. All you are doing is mentally echoing your worst times in life, and believing that you can't do it. I find that this is the biggest hump for moss robots to get over.

I would start byspiffing up your resume and applying for some jobs, no matter how shitty. Then you can have money to spend on hobbies in your free time.

>>39151443
but the first step is the hardest step anon. i just can't tell myself to forget a decade of self-pity and move on...

>>39150951
I'll tell you a portion of my story so you can draw the advice you need from it.

I started getting bullied very early in life (around 4 or 5). I was the "different" child in every class I've been a part of. Kids would harass me on a daily basis, teachers would flip out over every little weird thing I did. My parents didn't know any better and suffered with me through the whole thing. Things didn't get better in HS, I had stellar grades but people would get jealous and tease the fuck out of me because they were aware of my heavy social anxiety. They would go as far as fucking up the few relationships I had managed to maintain (peers and potential GFs) without any remorse, while smiling at me in class so the teachers wouldn't notice.

I started taking drugs (a lot of them) at age 14-15 because they helped me cope with reality. At age 18 I went to college, where I aced every class from home because I wouldn't DARE facing the crowds on campus. At the beginning I was fine with that lifestyle, but as time went on I started feeling very lonely, which led to three years of flunking classes, daily drug use, sleep deprivation, malnutrition and suicidal thoughts. I went to multiple psychologists, which didn't really help. Then I went full batshit crazy and had to go to a mental hospital for two weeks.

As of today, I have a masters degree in training engineering and ergonomics, I live with my girlfriend of two years, I have a healthy relationship with my parents and family and I can even muster up enough courage to go out once a week for a beer with friends without going into a full blown panic attack.

The ONLY thing that I deem responsible for this change is HONESTY. My life turned around the DAY I started being honest with people. I used to hide all this from them (even my family), the anxiety, the drugs, the suicidal thoughts, the feelings of worthlessness. Then I started being honest with every one. I am a completely changed man now. (1/2)

>>39151386
porn for instance.
tried quitting, managed, but fell back after I couldn't bare it without looking at it. So I did. And got addicted again, was unable to quit. Hate myself for it.

And for whatever reason I can't enjoy the little things, you know, like being alive and having more things than others.

...I don't know what's going on with me.

>>39151522
Continued (2/2)

I know that it sounds corny and all, but this is me being honest with you as I am with the people I love. YOU are the source of those negative feelings. The only way you can battle them is to change YOUR view of them, with the help of other human beings. If you feel like a failure, just gather enough courage to tell somebody about it, someone close to you. They will give you all the reasons why (in their eyes) you're not. That's the first step to regaining your lost confidence.

Bottom line is just be honest when it comes to your problems. If your goal is self-improvement, tell a few people about it. Tell your closest friend that you want to start working out. It'll motivate you to do so. You want to get an education ? Be honest about it and doors will open. Trust me on this, it saved my life

>>39151580
So you've tried nofap or just masturbating without porn?

>>39151522
>My life turned around the DAY I started being honest with people
Any examples how you've treated people before and after being honest?

>>39151522
The thing is I got used to dealing with people.

I used to go out with friends, when I was younger I had groups of friends. For some reason the internet changed me. I had no need to go outside anymore. Girls are here, games are here, I have no reason to go outside. And I feel like shit, because of it. But this internet/computer addiction for some reason isn't really an addction when I'm outside, I love driving with my car, but whenever I'm alone inside of my head, I go down this path, which is like an echo chamber of bad thoughts, ranging from depression to suicidal thoughts, to abuse to anything really. I can't be happy in my head.

(I don't know if I expressed myself right, english isn't my first language)

>>39151615
Nofap and noporn. But I wen't mental when suddenly I had no sex-drive without porn. I couldn't get laid because I didn't try and because I don't have any experience and because wanking off without looking at anything that stimulates me seemed pathetic. So in my head I had to go back to porn.

>>39151644
Take the drug abuse for example. I managed to hide daily use from my parents for 5 years. I would conjure up ridiculous excuses on where my money went, what I did during my free time, how many close friends I had, etc. While simultaneously building up tolerance and taking more and more drugs.

The day I told my parents about it, I realized the mess I had gotten myself into. The following months when they'd ask if I had taken anything I'd be honest and tell them how much and how often I used. They would encourage me when it was less than usual and sit me down for a talk when they felt I was slipping back in. It was a much healthier way of communicating with them than hiding it from them. I now only drink occasionally when out with friends. Only difference between now and then : I started being honest

>>39151687
Just stick to the noporn. Try to get it slowly from porn to pictures.

>>39151753
>I started being honest
And how did other people (besides parents) reacted to it? Did honesty paved your path into meeting gf?

>>39151654
Don't worry, your english is just fine (it isn't my first language either though).

I can relate to what you're saying. Although, the internet is only an echo chamber because of what's called the confirmation bias. It's a psychological phenomenon where people look for the information that fits their current state of mind. If you're depressed, you'll be looking for depressing information, because it reinforces your state of mind (hello r9k). My guess is that all these negative thoughts stem from your unhappiness with your current place in life. Maybe start opening up to someone about it ? Be honest about the things that bother you, they will appear in a completely different light. On the other hand, you could start practicing positive self-affirmation. Look it up, it could save you a lot of trouble. You're not an internet-addicted lowlife, you're a human being that's experiencing light turbulence. Acknowledge it and use other people to get over whatever your issues are

>>39151845
I just thought about practicing positive self-affirmation, and after thinking "why'd this help me, I've been depressed as long as I can remember, when I was 10 I was thinking "maybe life will get better next year"" I blew air out of my nose.

I might actually have to see a psychiatrist. I just... I never felt that actually something might be wrong with me. I just thought that's who I am and how I am. A lonely loser... ..if you get what I'm saying.

File: pepe-the-frog-meme-9.jpg (75KB, 500x484px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 500x484px

This is the kind of thread we need here in this hell.
I am 100% with you OP.
Realize that you are indeed a loser and the kind of animal which must be wiped out by natural selection.

I have fear you know.. Fear of have some physically impossibility in my brain in being socially normal and have alpha posture.
I know that great men are constructed and not born in this way, but we have great determinism is this world.
Only for you know, I am not autistic or ugly. Just a failed normie.
But my life is just a collection of bad thoughts and little experiences, where in each 1000 days of life, i live truly just 10 days.

>>39150951

>>39151767

There's one important thing to keep in mind during the process of opening up to others : some will not accept it (for whatever reason, most of the time it's because of their own insecurities), and others, most importantly, will do whatever they can to help you get out of the hole you dug yourself.

I'll be honest with you (see what I did there?), I lost some of my so-called "friends" when I started opening up about my mental illness related issues. But I later realized that these people weren't friends, they were acquaintances. They wouldn't have moved a finger to help a fellow human being get out of trouble. Those are not friends. My closest friends were shocked at first, but decided to stick around. Those people I will never thank enough and they know it, and therefore we have a pretty strong bond. I could call most of them at 3 in the morning and they'd be on my doorstep ten minutes later.

As far as the girlfriend thing is concerned, at first it didn't play a role because I was still able to find gfs while lying my ass off. But as soon as it became more serious with the current one, I had no choice but to man up and tell her all about my past difficulties, which, again, made for a solid bond because she knows that she can tell me anything she needs to as well. She didn't judge me at the time and I didn't (and won't) judge her. I have never had such a fulfilling relationship in my life

>>39151971
>some will not accept it
I guess that's the vice of mine. I'm afraid of people judging me being me and leaving me because of that. I'm trying to be honest but it's so hard to break conditioning.

>>39151928
I know exactly what you're saying. The thing about PSA is that it first appears as some hippie bullshit euphemism tactic. It sounds like "using lighter words to put a blanket on the real issues". But as soon as it starts actually working you understand that the only thing that was holding you back before was the way you thought about YOURSELF.

You're not a lonely loser. You simply have a different outlook on life than most people and that's costing you big time. Instead of trying to suppress that unique viewpoint, why don't you share it with others ? Get creative, write a blog (even if no ones reading), start streaming video games (even if no ones watching), there's plenty of things to do. Socialize, start practicing some kind of sport. And if someone starts giving you shit because "you're weird" or something, own up to it. "Yeah I'm weird to you, so what ?". Most people will find it courageous and treat you well in response to it.

I will never advise against you seeing a trained mental health professional. On the other hand I urge you to properly assess what you'd be throwing yourself into. Some of these meds are not what you think they are.

>>39152032
I understand that, I had my difficulties speaking up too. Just imagine what it's like sitting down with your parents and making a list of all the shit you've been taking for years without telling them anything about it. Imagine telling your own mother that you've been playing with the thought of killing yourself for years. It sounds fucking scary, but it isn't really that hard to pull off, because the response most likely won't be "how could you" (even if that can be the first reaction, it wont last) but "oh shit, what do we do now?".

As far as friends are concerned it's a completely different animal. But remember, you don't have to tell them about everything. Start small, when a friend asks if you if you're alright, just say something along the lines of "nah, not really, been struggling with a few things lately". If they're a good friend (and trust me
you ALREADY know if they are) they'll ask you to elaborate or something like that. If they don't want to hear anything about it, then just respectfully acknowledge it and talk about it with someone closer to you.

>>39152071
>Some of these meds are not what you think they are.


What do you mean? They just prescribe you some stuff without trying to find the root cause for your issues?

>>39152153
>They just prescribe you some stuff without trying to find the root cause for your issues?

The bad ones do. Do you want to take that risk ? Because you won't have any idea of whether you're sitting in front of a good one or a bad one. I've been to three psychiatrists. I won't say that it didn't help at all, but they didn't show the level of concern I was expecting. I was prescribed anti-depressants, didnt do shit. Anxiety medication, didnt do shit. Only thing that worked was Xanax, but I quickly started abusing it since it's kind of a "miracle anxiety eraser". Took weeks for me to get off it.

On the other hand, changing my point of view on my issues by owning up to them and talking about them led to me gaining back control of my life. So I'd recommend trying that first, and if the topic of mental health counselling comes up during the discussion, why not. But proceed with care

On that note, I have to go. I sincerely hope that this little discussion will help you both in your tribulations. Have a good day friends

>>39152222
I'm honestly really ashamed of myself for who I am. I don't think I could do that.

>>39152248
Thank you for your advices.

>>39152268
Don't be. You're a human being like the rest of us. No one asked you to be perfect, so don't try too hard. People respect honesty, so please just try it.