So /r9k/, If you could commit any crime only once and get away

>>39138585
Get a shitload of cocaine and overdose

Rob a bank of course.

>>39138614
If you want to steal course I recommend a uni instead

>>39138614
Spbp, just slowly launder the money or just but things with cash

>>39138585

Robbery obviously

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>walks out with $794,000

>>39138585
I would steal tons of money from a really popular and successful high street strain. They'd make back what they lose in a day anyways.

Steal from the Rotheschildes.

>>39138585
Steal ten million dollars. I could live off way less than 1 million but I want to have lotsa spare back up cash.

Strangle Hillary Clinton.
Wrestle her to the floor and just choke every last drop of life out of her.

>>39138585
raid the facility with the best superviruses and unleash them on mankind

I was honestly surprised that no one has said they'd rape someone but then I realized that you'd just use the money you steal to get the highest quality hooker.

Rigging the lottery so that I win.

>>39138585
Steal a crazily insanr amount of money, of course.

Hack into banks and transfer about 200 billion, maybe more, to my account, no strings, now I'm rich as hell, space program, moon base, I'm chilling on the moon with my robo-waifu

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I would kill myself senpaitachi

>>39138585
Honestly OP, everyone in this thread is just going to steal money to set themselves up for life. I mean what else does a robot need?

I would rob Barclays.
Then deposit the money into a small bank and wait about 5 years, get the money and finally relax

>>39138933
>what else does a robot need?
Genuine love

Just syphon like 5 dollars from every bank account/paypal account in america.

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>>39138585
rob a bank and then i can finally see if money will cure my depression, if not then i kill myself

>>39138585
I'd pull off a heist. I know it isn't as glamorous as movies make it be, and that the perpetrators are usually always caught, but goddammit I still want to fucking do it.

Vehicular homicide
Just that.
Plain and simple.

The only correct answer is statutory rape

kill myself
>no strings attached so heaven now matter what

Jacking off in public.

>>39138614

if i was terminally ill id rob a bank

>>39138614
>>39138643
>>39138646
>>39138656
>>39139239
>>39139275
>>39139394
We should start a crew

>>39139578

can we wear suits and all have code names?
make it a real professional job

>"you want in on a big job going down? Me and a few guys are getting together, pay off is big, but there's a risk"

>>39139630
So long as we don't kill any real people, I'm in.

Genocide all minorities.

>>39138585
Daring to hope

>>39138679
Yup from the Rothschilds island, you iust know that's where they store their Jew gold

>>39139670
Do normies count as real people?

>>39138585
murder or robbery

>>39138585
Rape or murder.

>>39138585
I would develop an STD that renders infected individuals permanently infertile.

>>39138585
Run up to the president when he's live on air giving a speech and pull his pants down

>>39138792
The election's over you dumb fuck.

Crack the riemann hypothesis and use it to crack the security for all online banking.

>>39138585

Billion dollar bank heist

I'd provoke a nuclear war and home that humanity dies off for good in the resulting planet-wide radioactive devastation.

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Owning possums is illegal so I'd definitely adopt a possum like holy shit look how adorable they are.

>>39138585
>ctrl f 'Normie Genocide'
>No results
You sicken me.

>>39140838
It's alright anon, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of mute anons reading this who would just love to go off the rails like that.

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>>39138585
>If you could commit any crime only once and get away with it, no strings attached, what would you do?
genocide of course

what kind of moron would be given the chance to commit ANY crime and would choose anything else?

for the population I will kill I choose... idk NASCAR fans? why not

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>>39140815
But if we reach the stars, you can radioactive many planets.

>>39140884
More like nobody memes it up in this town proper no more.

>>39140948
That's true anon, times sure is changing.

Hack into coinbase and gain tens of thousands of bitcoin, untraceable and anonymous

>>39140956
Stop talking to me, loser.

>>39140997
>bitcoin
>untraceable and anonymous
lol no. you want Monero

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>>39140828
>not wanting to kill normies
>not wanting to rob and get rich
>not wanting to do illegal drugs
>instead gets a stupid animal
Wew lad.

>>39141016
LOL no, I want something with actual value

>>39140999
Eat a dick anon, I do what I want.

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>>39139866
Negative, Ghostrider. Normies aren't people.

>>39138585
genocide, OP

Originally pirate a video game

>>39138656
story?

This post is new and original

>>39141070
No no no I thought about it for a bit and I take back my answer, I want to change it:
omnicide.
>inb4 edges

>>39141078
What would you pirate my buddy

>>39141107
Once upon a time, anon didn't know how to reverse image search, proving how much of a faggot he was. The end.

>>39141040
Anon, please keep talking to that other guy who was rude to you.

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>>39138585
Rob the jews

>>39138890
I have good news for you anon, thats not illegal, go kys

a million wishes

>>39141132
Oh I'm not letting this go. Just waiting for the cunt to get back to me.

rigging the lotto so i win tomorrow

>>39138585
kill all jews

next question please

>>39141205
I'll be sad when it's you're bedtime.

>>39141241
Haha fuck you anon, I don't work tomorrow and I've got time to kill tonight.

>>39141205
Guy you've been replying to here, I'm too busy sneedposting on /tv/ to give a shit.

Enjoy your miserable virgin life, creep.

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>>39141023
>instead gets a stupid animal
Possums are literally the perfect animal
>Docile
>Born cute and stays cute
>Can solve mazes better that rats and cats
>Remember where food is better than rats, cats and dogs
>Can eat anything
>50 teeth
>Cute fingerless glove paws perfect for giving tiny handshakes too
>Cuddly furry body design specifically to be hugged

>>39141276
I hope you're a woman because you post like a fag.

>>39141276
I really like them too. never usually considered them as a pet though

>>39141267
That's alright, I'll be lurking here for quite a while so don't think I've got anything better to do than reply to you, cunt.

>>39141331
why though, this is a dull, slow thread.

Take over a big company like Apple through forgery. That takes it from everyone, CEO, investors, directors, etc. Everything is mine to take or sell.

>>39141357
No reason, just being a dick.

>>39141376
How are you possibly being a dick?

>>39141276
>Cuddly furry body design specifically to be hugged
Stop reminding me of things I can never have REEEEEEEEEE
t. kinda fur

>>39141393
By calling you a cunt and wasting your time with my drivel, you cunt.

>>39141407
You're wasting your time too dude, and I'm sat in an airport waiting for a plane so am literally thankful to waste time.

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Raping Kesha

>>39141450
Why would you waste a perfectly good criminal opportunity with that

>>39141448
I'm just sitting at home browsing the /r9k/, it's not like I have anything better to do. But I suppose this has stopped being funny I guess I'll head out.

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>>39141314
I'm not a girl but I play as on the internet.

>>39141499
Admitting defeat eh? Throwing in the towel?

Gotcha punk, I ain't even in no airport.

>>39141276
Compared to being rich it's a stupid idea kys

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Nothing of course, because I'm a good little beta.

[Spoiler] Missionary for the purpose of procreation [/Spoiler]

>>39141575
>newfag detected
Original Oregonians orgasming to ostracized ostriches.

stealing all the monies

>>39141470
Ask Dr. Luke.

>>39141623
bot evading lazy not-as-newfag detected

>these people saying drugs
oh come on
all you have to do is keep them in a secure place in your house, you will never get busted

>>39141502
Want to be lesbians together?

>>39141677
nigga it's not like the drugs are trying to escape and call the cops.
it's what can happen when you are getting or using the drugs that's usually the problem

Anus dildo penis tits vagina

>>39138585
I would steal a billionaire's house. Yes. The whole house. It's easy, dig it out with machines then transport it to my place. Just for fun.

Genocide the kikes, for real this time

>>39141803
but anon
if you steal a billionaire's house
you don't need to bring it to your place
because
that is your place now
so you can just leave it there

Rape a girl
Originally of course

>>39138585
>steal all of the saudi royal family's money
>enjoy being a billionaire guilt free

>>39141519
>>39141499
Tard fight, tard fight, tard fight!!! Rip each other's feelings to shreds!

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>>39138585

Wipe out the entire human race with the exception of the people of Japan as they seem to be the most civil and culturally inclined to take this meatbag existence to it's crescendo before they too succumb to the limits of this existence and fade away as well.

Steal the Declaration of Independece while wearing a Nick Cage mask.

>>39138585
KILL all Globalist congressmen or maybe a coup

>>39141935
baka
do it in a John Travolta mask

>>39141994
Face Off 2: Oh god why did we have to do a sequel. Both of these actors are seriously old. One of the actually died in the first movie, but is now back just because we needed a plot device. Also, we are going to do national treasure with it, cause yeah. Most people remember that movie, right? Hally Barry is also in it, cause Swordfish was underrated.

>>39142223
There will definitely be a cruise ship, a cargo plane, and museum for sure. We're putting a big glass server room in one, find out which this summer.

>>39141668
>Triggered Oregonian detected
Enjoy your ostriches.

Rob a bank.

>>39138614
This anon gets it.

>>39142317
fuck those ostriches, they don't fit in and i hope they stop hanging out

>>39142288
Why not a cruise ship aviation museum. Gotta knock them all out at once.

I would erase existence once

nuke usa

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>Bank robberies
>Murder
>Rape
All these fucking normies invading my board.
>Not wanting to launch all American nukes in randomized directions for total global annihilation.

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Anything as long as it's a part of a Scooby Doo episode.

>>39142424
why not forever so that it can't possibly ruin everything again
>>39142388
save some for part 3, jeez
>>39142433
all this edge invading (((my))) board

>>39138585
eradicate all beta orbiters and females, think of the insane amount of progression that would be made in such a short amount of time

>>39142444
I'm sorry. I got over excited.

>>39142444

The term edge was first used to describe the shooters of columbine on facebook.

Get out cancer.

>>39139630
>Today is the day.
>The day the Benevolent Bank goes down.

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Destroy Namek!

>>39142661
Shit, couldhave satin tripped.

Fucking the highest class off hooker without a condom. Getting away with it includes not paying and no sti's.

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>>39141276
tets are originally cool
or
ego
n

Keep my onitis who turned into a bitch as a sex slave and fuck her until she turns 30 and then kill her.

>>39140915
SJWs, feminist, antifa, commies, and you pick some dumb backwater racecar fans? ffs anon go big or go home!

>>39138585
I would seize control of all of the world's nuclear weapons.

Colossus - the Forbin Project style.

Don't worry, I will be a benevolent emperor.

Chemical weapons murder

>>39142537
Have a citation on that? I'm pretty sure edgy shit was called edgy in the 90s. I was there.

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>>39142350
Fuck you, ostriches have rights too.
>Ostrich Lives Matter

Steal a nice fucking car and speed off into the horizon as fast as the fucking thing can go. Much more thrilling than a life as a billionaire.

>>39138585
Large-scale theft. I would steal a billion dollars somehow.

>>39143279
fuck off cunt
keep talking
this time we won't lose.

>Steal a nuclear submarine
My dream for the longest time has been to steal a sub and nuke a supervolcano.
End of the world bby

I would rob fort knox. thats a shit ton of gold, I would have the wealth of a medium sized country, then I would litteraly buy a country. from there, I would take out the U.S. after having crippled its economy, and take all their land and manpower. from there I would force the two smartest people in my small empire to breed, so that I can create a super baby. I will raise tje child to succeed me and grow the empire, so that we may genocide the muslims.

>>39143514
The US economy won't be ruined if the US doesn't let anybody know all their gold has been stolen.

>>39143540
which is why most people think there is gold in fort knox

>>39143339
>Talking
>Posting on a Cambodian deep sea fishing blog
Who the fuck do you hear speaking?

>>39143696
i hear all kinds of voices ever since the emu wars m8

>>39138585
kidnap babs

>>39143696
Hey everybody, look at this guy.

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>>39143711
Please don't remind me, I thought those days were behind me. I can still hear Wojak's and Gondola's screams as the Drop Bears and Echidnas came from above.

>>39143818
This guy too, look at him

>>39143734
>>39143855
What am I looking at here, anon? Why have you pointed these anons out to me?

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>>39143818
>Be me
>18
>Green recruit in the newly formed 88th Meme division
>Taking point under the guidance of Captain Pedo with Corporal Spurdo by my side
>Wojak and Gondola watching flank; flamethrower at the ready
>Think I hear whispers
>"Probably the wind"
>Whispers grow louder
"...ps ..r.t .ay"
>"Hey Spurd is that just me or did you hear it too?"
>"Benis?"
>"Me too, but I just wanted to make sur. . ."
>Then before I could finish. . .
>"TRAPS AREN'T GAY"
>Wojak primed his burner and toasted the drop bear still attached to Gondola
>Tfw no more philosophical arguments
>Then shits were bricked as fucking drop bears and echidnas launched from the trees ambushing Wojak
>A fucking platypus then ejected from the stream beside me and knicked me with its fucking poison claws
>REEEE.exe
>Falcon punched that punk and glanced to Pedo
>A damn duck impaled him with its fucking projectile penis
>Spurdo motions me over for a retreat
>"BENIS!?!?!"
> "Sergeant N. Banana said this area was clear though, what happened to that"
>And then we saw it. . .
>in the distance . . .
>We saw HIM!
>General Emu and his army of SJW kiwis and wombats
>Oh_shit.jpg
Cont?

>tfw anon thinks the great emu war isn't a real thing
>>39144204
>Cont?
No thank you m8, you've done enough already.

>>39144371
Fuck you it was a fucking army with machine guns and shit and they lost to a flock of flightless birds
>>39144204
Continue OP

>>39144512
yes anon that is exactly what happened, good job

>>39138585
High treason.

Succeed where Guy Fawkes failed if you catch my drift cause im just sick of all the politcans pouring my country down the drain.

>>39144705
You want to catch on as a trendy mask for underages?

>>39144755
15 year olds during Chanology are 25 now

>>39144795
The math checks out, anon.