I have Borderline PD, AMA

>>39129630
Have you been building up your harem of beta orbiters lately? BPD girls always have a harem of beta orbiters they use for emotional support.

>>39129630
You're a boy or girl?

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>>39129650
Hahah no I'm reserved for one person also see below

>>39129658
I'm the rare guy with BPD.

I forgot to add tripcode. Sorry to be a tripfag but how else are you gunna know it's me replying

what do you think led you to become borderline?

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>>39129751
Bad parenting. That or I was just born with it, my parent's are quite unstable (mainly mother, my father is really nice) and didn't really know how to raise me well. When my parents divorced as a kid, I was stuck with the more unstable parent and barely ever got to see my dad as much as my mum. One thing I remember is when they were still together, they were both always at work so I would barely ever see either of them or they just wouldn't have enough time for me. So they bought me videogames to keep me company, and now vidya is one of the only things that make me happy

>>39129630
tfw i just want to die and BPD doesnt help
origano

>>39129823
do you think you can fix your internal problems?

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>>39129888
Feelsbadman, BPD stops me from dying despite how much I want to die. I've been getting better lately though and I wanna die less.

>>39129910
I'm still not too sure. I'm still trying to discover and understand myself. I've tried to fix my internal problems before and I have certainly gotten better than before, however I haven't been able to fully fix anything yet. I'm trying each day to learn more about myself and try and get better though.

>>39129823
What does the daily experience for you feel like with bpd? Like mentally and emotionally do you go through swings? If so what are the triggers for these swings?

>>39129972
have you tried psychedelics?

they could be potentially rough with the divide in your soul, but they could also be incredibly cathartic and useful.

I'd suggest a dissociative anesthetic as a start because it would also detach you from any pain caused by your discoveries.
Ketamine is the best if you can get it, otherwise DXM can be picked up readily at any drugstore.

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>>39130014
Usually I'll wake up and feel like crying straight away because I'm so tired and I wish I didn't wake up. After that, if I have no plans for the day I'll just play vidya all day and try to talk to FP (favourite person which is sorta like a oneitis). It used to be that if I made plans, I would cancel them last minute because of anxiety but lately I've overcome that. If I plan to go out with friends, at first I will get super anxious and overthink everything, then I will get there and be super anxious for about 10-20 mins, then my mind usually gets distracted and I'm able to be happy for a little while. Problem is, if I have a good day where I'm happy the majority of the day, it will all come tumbling down later on and I'll end up splitting. One thing that's been getting to me lately is the FP. I'm so worried shes going to get bored of me so quickly and leave me, and I'm super clingy and it hurts so much if she doesn't message back after about 10 minutes. It makes me feel even more like she just isn't interested, but then she will message me an hour or so later and I'll instantly be reassured and I'll be happy for the time being.

>>39130041
I am extremely paranoid with these sort of things, I don't think I'd be able to do psychedelics without someone watching over me the whole time

>>39130158
Many who do psychedelics have someone to watch them thats pretty common

Ive made my FP sad and he didnt want to talk with me
should i just leave him in peace?

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>>39130265
If I were in your situation I'd be clinging onto the FP and trying to make her feel better, as well as apologizing 700 times about what I've done. It all really depends on the situation though, I don't know what type of guy your FP is and I'm not sure what exactly you did to make him feel sad. But a sincere apology never hurts, and if he doesn't want to talk it's probably best that you leave him for just a little bit until he feels better, or you could do the opposite and comfort him. Like I said it all depends

>>39130230
Hmm alright, I don't have any experience with psychedelics or drugs in general so I don't really know where to get them, on top of that I don't have much money to spare so I'm not sure I can get ahold of anything

>>39129630
why havent you killed yourself yet?
why are you such a fegget?

>>39130331
It just feels like my FP hates me and doesnt want to spend time with me and i dont want to bother him

henlo
i am have bpd

>>39130331
>Hmm alright, I don't have any experience with psychedelics or drugs in general so I don't really know where to get them
go to your local drugstore and look in the cough suppressant section for stuff that contains dextromethorphan as the only active ingredient

Robitussin is the big brand name and generics will be called things like 'tussin dm

DXM really doesn't need a trip sitter imo

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>>39130378
REEEE WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I THOUGH YOU WERE JUST ON /B/ BUT YOU FOLLOWED ME REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>39130416
I know that feels, like I said before I don't feel like my FP shows much interest in me but she's probably just busy, she usually reminds me how shes still interested occasionally I just can't get that through my head yet. I'm sure you are just having a bad day like me anon, everything will be ok.

>>39130417
Henlo friendo. How is your day fellow bpd friend

>>39130437
Wait, so do I just drink a load of Robitussin? I never realized it was that easy if it is.

>>39130505
hahaha dude havent seen you in a while hows it goin

>>39130505
>Wait, so do I just drink a load of Robitussin? I never realized it was that easy if it is.
pretty much

its common to take a normal dose of Benadryl (25-50mgs) before a trip because it reduces the potential for discomfort and acts as a weak potentiator

you should also eat/drink some grapefruit about an hour before dosing as a potentiator

I'd start at around maybe 400mgs~
whats your weight?

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insert oringales comment here

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>>39130590
Things have certainly gotten better, I'm more motivated and so now I'm actually doing exercise so I can hopefully get some muscle on this skeleton body. Things just seem to be looking up for me lately I suppose. Hows things your end?

>>39130602
About 55 kg = 121 lbs. I'm pretty skinny. Also what's a potentiator?

>>39130616
I don't get it. BPD is the same as what. Finish your sentence child!

No BPD here but I do seem to have a lot of identity disturbance meaning my views on shit like people, countries, religion and politics can change within minutes usually with a trigger. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and no idea what my values are. It's not even a super awful thing or anything since it's mostly happening constantly in the background but I feel like it's going to cause me problems pretty soon when I have to really think about my future.

>>39130667
>what's a potentiator
something that makes a drug act stronger

at that weight I would maybe do 300mgs with grapefruit juice or 400mgs alone

Dissociatives helped me a great deal when I was in mental/emotional turmoil

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>>39130730
Yea, getcha there. I can't seem to stick to one identity/persona and usually during the day I'll think my appearance is pretty neat then at night when I go to shower I won't be able to look in the mirror without wanting to smash it. My own identity is very unstable and it changes based on who I'm talking to, but I do try to stay the same person and I've narrowed my personas down to about 4. I used to have a persona for each different person and it used to confuse everyone, including myself. It's almost like I have DiD with the amount of depth that goes into each persona and how immersed I am, but I don't believe I really have DiD. It's sorta just like I'm playing different characters in a game or movie.

>>39130735
Ahhh I see. Yea I'd expect to not have to use anything too strong. I don't really feel like I'll be needing it any time in the present, but I'd like to try it sometime. I'll keep this all in mind

>>39130837
I've noticed the appearance thing too. Not sure about the persona thing. I think my mannerisms for instance stay the same regardless of the person I'm talking to, but one moment I can think that some people are cool and I should hang out with them more and another moment I just want to get the fuck away from them for no good reason. My opinions on shit don't really fluctuate from one extreme to another but they jump between different points I think and my opinions don't really change as a collective (a persona) but instead one or a few opinions can change without some others changing. Until recently I didn't consider this abnormal. I told a guy about it and they said that it was.

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>>39130837
Just to give you an idea, I'm 160lbs and my first trip was a passively suicidal dose of 1,400mgs.
It was a profound experience I would compare to the original end after evangelion.
The end epiphany was that I deserved to live life meaningfully, this was the first time I wanted to be alive at all in memory.
I called an ambulance and have made significant progress with my mental and emotional problems since.

Anyways I wish you luck on the road ahead, wherever it may take you.

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>>39130958
I think I was in a way overreacting a little bit with what I said, you basically summed up the way I feel most of the time. As long as you don't get any other symptoms of BPD you should be fine it could just be part of your personality. If you do have more symptoms I would recommend seeing a psychologist asap. The whole black and white thinking is a big BPD thing too, either someone is cool or fucking stupid and I shouldn't be anywhere near them and that can fluctuate a lot.

>>39130999
That sounds like a rather interesting experience. Due to my emotional state and my tendency to be so affected by anime, End of Evangelion by itself caused me to reconsider my life (and it also hit me too close to home with the abandonment issues) I'm glad that you managed to make progress with your mental state, and best of luck to you too friend with whatever comes your way

I'm afraid I'm gunna have to be heading to bed now. It's 2:30 am here and I like to stick to somewhat of a sleep schedule. Everyone have a lovey day/night and best of luck to all of you for surviving this harsh thing we call life

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>>39131116
Goodnight BPDanon

>>39131116
I do also have the feelings of emptiness I think but I don't act very impulsively or lash out often so idk. Good night.

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>>39130667
Good to hear that keep up the good work seeya around

I also have bpd and was in the last thread. I'll pick up the baton for a bit while op sleeps. Ama I guess

>>39132077
I have BPD too anon. Can we fill BPDanons' shoes? Probably not, I am a failure at everything I do.

>>39132288
> self depreciation meme
> not just being an upbeat nihilist
Chin up, faggot. Life is dog dick, but I'm pretty great. You should be too.

>>39132469
You probably are great anon. I just am not great myself. I am potentially the worst person you will ever meet.

>>39130265
yes, think about someone other than yourself for once.

>>39132780
My FP gets like that when I draw naked pictures of her or have her sexing me. I'm sorry anon, but I must convince her to show me her tits, that way I can say I saw tits and be above most people here.

>>39132288
>>39132077
Between the three of us and our trio of dubs we can do it

>>39132821
you responded to the wrong person.

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>not even noon and i'm already drunk
i have bpd, it's not even that big a deal

>>39132822
I feel more confident with this! Alright guys, AUA.

To BPD people: Is your disorder coupled with any other disorder, like narcissistic personality disorder? Do you routinely destroy relationships by unintentionally emotionally torturing the people you love?

>>39132837
Or maybe it was supposed to go to you and you are just avoiding the truth I have imposed upon you.

>>39132935
no, shut the fuck up and continue being as pathetic as everyone else in this thread.

>>39132921
Oh yes indeed. I suffer from almost every personality disorder under the sun and am known to be narcissistic. I emotionally torture everyone I love with either my DID alter, my paranoid personality disorder making me attack them before they attack me, or my avoidant personality disorder making me wish to make them hate me so they can find better.

>>39132921
I'm also a literal autist with some sort of anxiety/depression disorder, being a walking cocktail of mental illnesses makes having any sort of relationship impossible

>>39132963
But I don't like shutting the fuck up :(

Desu desu, desu desu, please don't call the cops on me.

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>>39132921
mine is coupled with avoidant personality disorder

and no i don't ruin relationships because the only people i'm around are my family members and they love me unconditionally

the only thing i ruin is my future by fucking up at work

>tfw no bf who comes home and spanks you when you don't do any housework

>>39132982
My narcissism makes it great at dragging in people. It just is also great at alienating and making others hate me. I am just a fellow lonely BPD autistic anon. My views are so backwards most give up on me.

>>39133049
Why do all the normies get you BPD girls? It isn't fair. I would love to be a BPD's FP, they could be mine, and we could live together in harmony.

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>>39129630
I don't have BPD and I'm completely mentally healthy and happy. AMA instead of shitty loser OP.

Bpd are victims of narcissistic abuse

Npd are tricksters so watch out

Really op isn't that special

No time for caps

>>39132921
Depression, and antisocial personality disorder. I'm abusive as hell, gaslight and manipulate constantly, and most of my friends have left or distanced themselves from me. Doesn't really bother me. I'll make new friends, and the cycle will continue. Most of my friends haven't had many similar interests with me, but the ones who have I've managed to keep around. Not a great way to weed out the uninteresting people, but it works. In the meantime I can use the others for networking, drugs/booze, and lay.

>>39133108
> Doesn't really bother me. I'll make new friends, and the cycle will continue.
>the cycle will continue.
>the cycle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T1tvyfcezI

Get me out of this curse. Get me out of this hell.

>>39132972
I asked because a person with NPD and BPD buried themselves into my life like a tick and 300% destroyed me just by being themselves and seeing me as their personal toy and emotional dumping ground. I'm pretty sure I have ptsd and a paranoia thing now.

>>39133072
It's a bad idea.

>>39133108
Careful with the manipulation. I was a FP for six months. Willing at first, but things got fucked up fast. After it was clear to me that this person was dragging me into insanity with them,, and they were never going to get better, I ended up having to put them in jail. It took two months of playing subby while secretly gathering evidence and enticing bad behavior. In the end I betrayed this person like I promised I never would, like I was threatened with death to never do, and I'm so much better off now.
My point is, some people fight back and are as good at manipulation as you are. Don't fuck with any one person too much or you could end up in prison.

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>>39133049
hey guys what's the cough syrup drug like?

i've got nothing to do today

>>39133072
i'd date you, just be prepared. i never had sex with my past bf, and i would just drink his booze and ask for cash

my so called "favorite person" is and always will be my sister, or you can stop being a delusional fuck and get a normal gf

>>39133304
>Don't fuck with any one person too much or you could end up in prison.
It's very true, but don't tell them that you silly goof. If they know, they'll be more careful. They need to get what's coming to them.

>>39129630
Do you ever feel guilt?

>>39133304
This is why it is great to get a FP that is highly empathetic. I currently have one that literally says she is my personal toy, that she can take whatever insults I throw at her. We just need to find those ridiculously generous souls that will hug us and do everything for us no matter how bad we are. We need unconditional love.

>>39133361
I am asexual, so that isn't my problem. My problem is that you wouldn't accept me as your FP and make me feel like a god. Normal GFs don't give you the care I need, they all get afraid when I start yelling.

>>39133304
I've yet to encounter a person like this, but I'm always keeping an eye out. I don't even know if I'd be mad. Just impressed. (Ok no I'd be mad too i'd probably ruin their life once I got out) Thanks for the heads up though.

>>39133371
Ps no bully

>>39133491
I have a FP like that, and I feel like I don't deserve them
The fact that I constantly have the urge to break him up with his bf and get him on the rebound is probably why

>>39129630
Another dude with BPD here.

It's been getting bad lately, anons. I'm back on morphine almost daily. Dunno if that's because im a shit person or fucked in the head.


What kind of shit do you do that you think might be caused by your BPD, anons?

who /uspecifiedclusterb/ here?

i have enough traits to get a diagnoses for borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders

https://youtu.be/NAHzj71EUu4

>>39129630
subaru is so cute
wuld bang

Why all the hate for BPD tho
I try not to hurt anyone but its not that easy
Kms would solve that probably

>>39134219
More often than not, it's used as an excuse for some of the worst possible fucking behavioral patterns in a person. I had an ex who blamed her cheating with my best friend on her being BPD.