/anxiety/ thread

File: ff2.png (293KB, 600x319px) Image search: [Google]

293KB, 600x319px

So I come from a...not so nice background. I don't really want to go into that, but this basic knowledge is vital to my anxiety.

I have a twin brother and a younger half sister who's 14 years old, and 14 years younger than us. She's extremely kind, possibly the sweetest person I know. But like my brother, she's also incredibly perceptive, and while I try to put on a happy face for her, I think she can tell that something's wrong. She has exceptional emotional maturity for her age, and obviously knows where my boundaries are. Despite the large age gap, we're incredibly close. I had an unfortunate instance where a coworker thought I was a pedophile but that's been settled. She means so much to me but quite frankly I don't feel I deserve her...And I hate lying to her and pretending everything's okay when it isn't at all. But I can't bring myself to tell her the truth and burden her with my issues. I want to be strong for her sake, but...I'm weak. I'm weak because I don't confess my issues.

Anyone else here scared of phone calls? I'm usually okay when I talk to people in person, but turn into a complete moron when I speak over the phone. Is there any way to fix this?

File: 1501885661572s.jpg (15KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 250x250px

I have the most retarded anxiety. I am a literal hypochondriac and as of this week, I've been dealing with this shit for a whole fucking year. I'm still young and healthy, yet I still get thoughts that I might have some heart problems or some terrible infection. Even when I'm at the point where I realize that I'm being irrational, it still continues.

List of shit I've worried about:

> Lyme Disease
> Heart Attack
> Cardiac Arrest
> Testicular Cancer
> Brain Cancer
> Lymphoma
> Sepsis
> ALS
> Tetanus
> Appendicitis
> Meningitis

...and so on.

I've seen a therapist weekly at this point, my mindset has improved, yet I still suffer from these thoughts.

went bowling with a couple
fucked it up
think im doing ok now but we all know what happens when we lay our heads down

>>39098239
Plan ahead what you're going to say and revise it, think of any possible thing that the person on the other side of the phone might say and think of what you're going to say then.

>>39098037
Had a similar situation with my sister. Eventually she moved away and turned into a man and I lost my only person to talk to.

>>39097850
why the fuck am i so awkward? i cant talk to new people let alone women to save my fucking life. school orientation has been utter hell. fuck me.

>can't keep doing dumb shit when I get in front of people
>brain always shuts down and I can't think
>end up doing some retarded as fuck shit
>the brain fog always lifts when I do something stupid
>comes back when I try to explain or do something else
>can function perfectly normal alone
It's like I'm a retard by day, normal functioning dude by night

>>39098481
>keep doing dumb shit
>brain fog when I do something stupid
>comes back when i try to explain or do something else
I'm also a high as fuck and tired as fuck at night

>>39098239
If I'm making a phone call, I plan in advance, make a small script where I write down the key questions I need to ask and write down everything they say.

If I receive a phone call, it's PANIC TIME. Actually, I'm not gonna pretend I get calls. When I get a call it's either my family or the bank and I just hang up on them.

Always remember, however scary a phone call is, nothing is worse than meeting people face to face.

File: 1407303027536.png (129KB, 724x611px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 724x611px

>take a valium
>anxiety gone
heh that was easy

File: images (58) (1).jpg (6KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 300x168px

Any one here have really bad social anxiety to the point where you can only have a propper conversation with parents or whilst intoxicated?

I get it where everything will be going fine then of a sudden half way through a conversation I will cluster my words and basically completly forget what to say, only to then improvise whatever comes out of my mouth which is always jibberish or somthing that wasnt pronunced properly.
But the worst bit is afterwards, I will get really worked up about it to the point where I wont start convesation and if faced with a question will try my utmost best to not use words and simply use body language or go...
>Yep.
>Yeah deffinelty.
>Oh without a doubt.
>Oh yes.
>I remember you telling me.
>I dont know what to say

still thinking about a particularly awkward series of things I said about eight years ago. I'm always doing that but this one's been on my mind a lot recently for some reason.

I just got promoted and I constantly stress at work that I'm not good enough and they mistakenly promoted me.
Oh and my car. My car is super old and I'm wondering when it's going to die.

File: 1486524901993.jpg (36KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 500x500px

I got my degree but there's nothing out here. I look at job listings and it's just a sea of MLM scams, call center gigs, etc. Going back to my old donkeydick security job and I feel like a complete failure.

>>39098886
What degree you got for search call center shit jobs?

I'm supposed to go out of the country for a family vacation soon but I'm worried that the airport will turn me away because od debts I haven't paid.

>>39098886
I work for a call center and it's okay.
That being said, kiss up to your managers and get promoted as fast as fucking possible. Now that I'm a manager I just sit around all day taking occasional calls and mostly just shitposting on google hangouts with my coworkers.

File: 1502300404998.jpg (13KB, 367x321px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 367x321px

>>39097850
>tfw cancelling my mental health appointment because I'll have a female therapist and there are no male ones

>>39097850
Being circumcised, it distresses me so much I end up mad all day generally or so tired of being mad I wish I was dead

>Work up the courage to ask that cute, shy girl out
>She says yes
>Panic all day till it's time to go
>Have fun for a while but still constantly worried
>She seems disinterested and distant
>Try to ask her out a few times over the course of a couple weeks
>Only get maybes and we'll sees
>Finally work up the courage to ask how she feels about this (because I'd rather know than just keep trying and embarrassing myself)
>"I see you as a friend".
I'm not even mad, just disappointed. I really though I had a shot here.

don't wanna get too tumblr in here but I'm pretty sure I'm genderfluid and I don't wanna tell anyone because there's a chance it could get back to my parents because if they find out I'm fucked because they're ultra-conservatives

>>39099020
I know that feel. I'll never forgive them.

Who /nervous about nothing/ here?

I'm always fucking nervous even if I have nothing to be worried about. I took care of some shit yesterday and I'm still nervous about doing it even though I already did it. I hate this shit.

>nervous because I have to tell work that I am going back to school and I cant work anymore
>nervous about going back to school
>nervous cause my parents keep pressuring me to go out and do things when I am just trying to keep myself together and not fuck everything up
>nervous about my future cause I will probably end up homeless and starve to death
god i fucking hate life

>>39097850
No real reasons to be anxious
Have panic attacks for no reason at all
Have episodes of de realization and panic attacks every day.

This sucks. If I could find the root of the problem I could fix it but it happens for no reason.

I got a dream in which a teacher gave me shit for not speaking to anyone. Hr said "you think you're so high and mighty and you're gonna be part of something brutal, like a murder". I told me he was just judging me based on too little information and right after that I went to witness a kid trying to assassinate his mother cause I had suspicions that he'd do it.
What bothers me isn't the murder but the high and mighty part. I know I'm a loser so why do I think I'm high and mighty. Why do I act like I'm above the law. Am I going to be part of something brutal if this keeps up? Fuck

>>39098618
I know exactly what you mean brother, used to be so bad I couldn't even post on here. It got a bit better after I ended my 4 year long hikki phase and got a job stocking shelves, but people I'm not comfortable with (like anyone I don't know) still make me panic. I do think that the job I chose really helped with that though. I've gotten to the point where I can approach most customers when I'm in a good mood and help them out.

>>39099052
Yeah, I know this feel, my chest just gets tight and my mind starts racing and I have no idea why...

>>39097850
today was my first day at my new job. It took all my strength not to turn around and come back home when I was going there. My heart was beating hard, I couldn't breathe properly, my stomach hurt, I was sweating. It did ok though, except that I stuttered everytime someone talked to me and I now feel really bad about it. I managed to get through it by telling myself "it gets easier after the first day" over and over. When I got home, I felt extremely tired and even a little sick (I almost threw up and had diarrhea). Now I'm lying in bed, thinking that I'll have to go through all that again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and I want to just fucking kill myself. I haven't slept well in days because of that feeling on my chest. Like something or someone is gripping my trachea in a tight squeeze and I'm slowly asphyxiating. Maybe I am and I will die in my sleep. Fuck, wouldn't that be great?

>>39098618
Gosh, I am the same except a lot of times I won't even talk to my parents because I can't stand them (because they neglected me when I really needed help and other traumas)
I can only communicate myself properly by writing (texting, chatting) although for the past years it's also getting hard for me and I don't know what to do

I lost a couple of friends months ago and i still feel like shit because of it

>>39098886
I know this feel. You can't get a job if you don't have friends or contacts. Doesn't help when being a TA is your only job experience.

>>39099052
I get that feel
I always get this feeling in my chest and its so weird

>>39099211
Just breath you fuck. R u 18?? You got the world by the balls! Own that shit kid!!!!!!!

>>39099033
What does Gender fluid mean anon?

>>39099020
dude girls don't like uncut dicks

>>39099211
i've gone through some similar shit before. good luck anon.

File: large.png (170KB, 424x401px) Image search: [Google]

170KB, 424x401px

>>39097850
>cant afford to go back to college this semester cause shit broke living paycheck to paycheck
>try to get job but cant find anything for someone with no experience that isnt labor
>tfw a cripple with multiple mental issues
>cant focus on anything for more than 10 minutes due to extreme brain fog

im not going anywhere and life and time keeps passing way too fucking fast

File: Berserk_Sword_wind_jpg.jpg (255KB, 1000x716px) Image search: [Google]

255KB, 1000x716px

>>39099444
Its subjective, and being circumcised is not my subjective truth.

Is it still drinking alone if I stand alone in the corner of a nightclub and sip my drink? Or is it social drinking because I'm at a nightclub?

>>39099030
>over the course of a couple weeks
I guess you don't know the rule anon. If you don't get the dick in within 48 hours after first date, you're put into friendzone.

File: 1502342106263.jpg (69KB, 525x633px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 525x633px

>>39099105
I try my hardest when im working to be social and chat to people, it will start off fine and then all of a sudden a couple of minutes later its like I just hit a brick wall. And before I know it i can barely string a sentance together.

Ive also found that if i talk about subjects that I know really well and enjoy such as philospy and politcs I can talk for hours with ease.
Yet if its anything else I just freeze in my thoughts and will hardly talk for the rest of the day.

Though ive found that having a swig from a hip flask of brandy, sure calms the nerves and really helps me to be able to think and speak clearly again.
Though having said that I will try my hardest to only do it on the worst ocasions to not make it a regular habbit

>>39099052
literalIy me 24/7/365

File: satire.jpg (38KB, 1064x140px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 1064x140px

>>39099770
>Ive also found that if i talk about subjects that I know really well and enjoy such as philospy and politcs I can talk for hours with ease.

Fedora tipped, just in case.

>>39099052
Try beta blockers and alcohol. They work miracles for me.

>>39099770
You just need to try and expand your interests, like try to get into some of the dumb shit some of the normies you come into regular contact are into. I know it sucks, but that is the only way I can think of to try and relate to them better. That and just keep trying. I personally am of the belief that socializing is a skill like any other, you just need to working at it.

>>39099693
It's drinking alone if you're not interacting directly with them. Even drinking over Skype would be less of a drinking alone.

pretty sure i'm a hebephile and it's honestly really distressing

File: 44b-1.png (47KB, 223x188px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 223x188px

Bayonetta and Cloud in smash 4 dominating the meta

i just want to not have to live with normie roommates

i miss my safe space of my room, it's like im contantly being judged i can never relax because they might come by at any time i want to die

>>39099943
lel playing sm4sh uniroincally

BUT ITS LIKE CHESS!!!!

>dont want to sleep because it will make wagecukking come sooner
>wish I wasnt wagecukking but I can't bring myself to do anything of value when I'm not
>had an awesome dream last night about a qt I haven't talked to in a year
>can still feel traces of the dream euphoria if I think about it
>spent all day on the chinz

reeee

>>39099943
>not playing meIee

File: mako-reizei--46.2.jpg (18KB, 210x240px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 210x240px

>>39099881
Im beyond the point of turning back to normie intrests, I took some redpills and blackpills that will never let me go back no matter how hard i try.
Not to mention I have a personality dissorder that rids me of my emotion and turns me into an indvidualist lone wolf, which makes things even worse.

>Celebrites- are a means of mind control to make make people aspire to be like Kim Kardashian so they waste their money on materialistic shit.
>Modern music- sounds exactly the same and has no tallent or aestectics compared to music like clasical.
>Sport- is a form of mind control to divide us all into teams to make us forget natural divisons, not to mention its a money making machine.
>Vidya-Ive gone off it and havent been near it in years.
>I reject the concept of materialism and chasing wealth, and see money as a means to survive not a means to achive happiness unlike 99% of normies who constantly talk about money this money that.

>>39097850
I am going to meet my online gf in Norway this winter and I am so scared she won't like me like she'll notice a small annoying thing

>>39098341
fellow hypochondriac here. my main big one lately has been a fear of being poisoned, and getting brain damage. i feel like everything has poison in it. i think i have gadolinium toxicity from an mri i had a few months back. is it true that water bottles are poison? i cant believe im even asking that question. of course theyre fucking poison.
>>39100478
i can relate to you as well. im constantly paranoid about the state of our world, and all the mind control tactics being used against the masses and myself. i think the illuminati is trying to kill me, sending me subliminal messages to worsen my anxiety and have me kill myself.
its also impossible for me to relate to others due to these conditions among other things.

>>39099792
Bro that's me fucking 69 hours a day 420 years an hour I totes relate

File: IMG_2184.jpg (30KB, 357x357px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 357x357px

i have no worries or anxiety and that what worries me. I don't remember the last time I felt actually happy or sad. I just feel like a husk of a person and I remember how happy I used to be but now I'm just bitter and hopeless. at least I have you robots

I think I'm in love with my boyfriend's married best friend. I definitely want to fuck him. I would never in a million years make a move or breath a word of this to anyone but holy shit, he makes my blood rush.

>>39097850
I am bitter and cold, waiting for Jesus to make things better.

>>39100478
Well maybe try to stay afraid from the dumb shit, I haven't even gotten so desperate as to pretend to like it. Maybe it might be better to try to develop some new hobbies and meet people through that. I know you said you have no interest in sports but what about maybe playing them yourself and not flocking to your TV every sunday to watch 20 sweaty dudes pound into each other?

File: 1494731676373.png (582KB, 880x654px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 880x654px

I want a girl. But I can't find one I am actually interested in. I just want to find a shy girl to talk to and share conversation with. A girl with something interesting to say. I couldn't care less about sex. But my social anxiety completely prevents me from approaching people.

>>39100588
My dream is to force people like you to do shit the hate.

Like a fuck afraid of door knobs. I'd make a mother fucker touch that shit 1st go round.

>>39100682
I found a shy girl to talk to and converse with. Then I got friendzoned. I've started to come to the conclusion that you shouldn't be so picky about what sort of personality they have, because they might not be interested in being with someone like you. Now I've realized that you said you aren't interested in sex. I wonder though, if you found this girl are you sure you wouldn't end up falling for her after spending time with her and try dating her? Or do you think you could keep it strictly platonic?

I've been debating whether or not to get a medcard. I want to try out CBD for my anxiety and my obsessive compulsive behaviors, but It's currently only legal with a medcard which costs roughly 40 bucks. I could either pay the 40 now and hope to get a medcard or wait 4 months and it's supposed to be legal and I can buy it free and clear then.

Do I wait or just get the card now? It's fucking driving me crazy.

>>39100770
If it's only forty dollars then yeah go for it, that's nothing considering what you have to gain here.
But do you really want to live your life dependent on medication? Personally I think it is better to try and find a way to cope yourself.

what is it when you get tasked to do something and no matter how small it is you gotta do it right away, and if it's not done right away you get that feeling like you're gonna die/can't breathe

this anti procrastination thing is alright for work ethic in the eyes of others i guess but it's kind of hard to cope with sometimes

File: 1502344405103.png (78KB, 412x351px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 412x351px

>>39097850
>I jerked off vigoriously.
>Than I had to take a piss.
>During my piss, my dick started to hurt like the piss was replaced with fireball
>After pissing, my dick began getting quite hot and felt like I had to constantly piss, despite the fact that I already finished.
>Went to the bathroom, trying to force the piss out.
>Thought I felt something stuck in my urinal tract.
>mfw I thought I had a kidney stone.
>Googled "help my dick hurts
>Found this q&a https://www.zocdoc.com/answers/11631/why-does-my-penis-ache
>feelsbetterman.jpg
>heat and pain went away after a few minutes.

My coworker somehow obtained my number and has been nonstop texting me since yesterday and I think he likes me and it's really starting to scare me because I know I'm going to eventually spaghetti all over him. I don't want to date him because he's my coworker but he's cute and I can't function around him.

>>39100843
Than ask him out, bottling up is not going to help you.

>>39100832
I assume that would be OCD anon, which makes sense considering how much overlap there is between that and people with anxiety disorders

File: pepe-funeral.jpg (45KB, 569x489px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 569x489px

>>39097850
I didn't call in to work and did a no show because I had to do a college orientation thing, which means that I would have to arrange it 3 weeks in advance. I was going to just call in sick but I didn't know any of my managers numbers so then I texted the HR person that I was sick and I needed to contact my manager about it but she never responded. I then called her several hours later and she transferred me to my department when I had to wait for my manager to pick up. I was doing this in the car right when my mom got in and I freaked out and hanged up because I didn't want her to know that I lied to her about having the day off. Anyways I'm freaking the fuck out because I have to go in tomorrow and I have no idea if the HR manager told my manager about the text I sent them. I just didn't call them and I had a message from my manager in the morning asking where I was. I seriously have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.

>>39100855
I can't. He's my coworker. He could potentially end up on my own team very soon, too.

>>39100867
Again, what's stopping you from asking him out?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the whole family meme.

Daddy left when I was 4 or something; all he left behind was a ps2, so I was raised by vidya. Honestly, how fucked am I? Ive never been happy for more than a week at a time, I disconnect myself from family and friends all the time it's like I don't even know how to care for anybody else but myself anymore, I hate roasties, I hate the "loud guy" even though I used to do it and it's a sure method to get attention, idek anymore.

And I can't fix this relationship I have with my family, it's far too late. One day they will die and this problem will never be resolved, will I be permantely fucked?

The feeling that literally everything that I'm working for won't help me at all in the future

>>39100862
Honestly anon, you should have planned this better and tried to get the day off or even just got you managers number and called in. The only thing you really can do is apologize and hope they forgive you. Even if you didn't call in you can at least say you "tried" and hope they believe you really had no other choice.

>>39100888
reestablish connections with family and close friends. Trust me, the older you get, the more you will have to depend on them.

>>39100758
I wouldn't mind romance, sure, but I would like any potential relationship to be more than just one person trying to serve the other. I would hate for any relationship to be one sided. I want to share happiness with someone and them to return it back. The only way I can see that happening is through mutual benefit not only through romance but also through sharing hobbies, interests, and passions together.

Yeah I'm looking for romance, but I'm also looking for friendship, if that makes sense.

>>39100903
I don't know my managers # or even their email address for that matter, they never told me or gave it when she left a message. Idk what to say.

>>39100886
Aside from the fact that I have no idea how to, I've seen far too many people burned by mixing their work relationships with their personal life. I like my job too much to make that mistake.

>have assignments and tests in the near future that I haven't started on
>unofficial e-bf was/is probably cucking me
>wish I was dead most of the time

>>39100914
It's a well known fact that it is very difficult for men and women remain "just friends" like that, especially if you are looking for a certain kind of women like that. Maybe try to remove the female aspect from this and just try to make a new friend who shares the same interests as you.

>>39100999
There really isn't much you can say, just that you're sorry and you really tried to get the day and couldn't. You've got a pretty good excuse this time so try to worry too much, even if that may seem impossible.

>>39100478
What personality disorder? You sound eerily similar to myself.

My OCD is driving me crazy and I can't take it anymore

>>39099033
its called gender dysphoria

File: 1502342412136(1).jpg (9KB, 236x282px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 236x282px

>>39101167
Schizoid personality disorder I got diagnosed a few years back.
It was probbly brought on by:
>drug abuse.
>alcholism.
>social isolation.
>And a quest to find out unplesant truths about everything in life.
It was horrible for the first years to deal with, but eventually I worked out that such a state of mind has certain benifits that not many others have...
>Dont get deppresed or stressed out.
>able to make decisons based entierly on logic and reason not emotion.
>cant be dragged down by freinds and girlfreinds as i have no desire for them
>Dont care what others think.
>work best when on my own.
>show no sympathy or remorse.
>Not motivated by money or happiness but by power and knowledge.
>have no regrets and will never look back on things feeling bad about my choices.

File: 1497287875544.jpg (48KB, 481x548px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 481x548px

>>39099444
I know this is bait but a lot of Americans actually believe it. shit makes me upset every time

File: 1464385863693.png (292KB, 576x432px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 576x432px

>15 min long presentation due tomorrow
>just getting started on it
>am in a relationship with a lovely woman but i've never felt so pressured not to slip
>always feeling pressured not to slip in all aspects of life all the time
>there's less than 300 miles until I hit the 5000 mile oil change mark and it's only been 3 months
>need to replace turn signal bulb
>$426 speeding ticket+traffic school charges coming up next month
>not saving money
>only thing going on for me is doing decent in school

>>39099020
Why? I'm circumcised and only 1 out of the 5 girls I've slept with said that they prefer uncut dicks.

>avoidant personality disorder
>always worrying about what everyone's thinking
>very fickle
>thinks logically but can never make up mind so emotional reaction tends to go first
>general doormat
>problems saying no
>always misreading people over text + in person
>can't take sarcasm at all
>people stop trying to be friends with me bc they know I can't talk shit back to them when they playfully talk shit to me

File: 1499991964616.jpg (68KB, 500x454px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 500x454px

>>39097850
I never remember my dreams but i know my past haunts me
>sleep in the same room as dad because were really poor right now
>wake up around 2PM as usual because i cant find a job no matter how hard i try
>dad says i shout strange things in my sleep
>he says most of it doesnt make sense but what he does hear is
>NOOOO STOP!!
>THATS ENOUGH!
>AAAHHHHHH!!
>FUUUUCK!
>FUUUCK YOOOUU!!
>apperently when he tries to wake me up in the morning i say really mean things to him
>FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF IM SLEEPING FUCK OFF!!
>im not even conscious but my subconscious curses him out

does any one know what this means?
My mother was very abusive and would wake me up by slamming my door open and screaming at me so maybe this was engrained behavior whenever im being woken up?
I told my dad im sorry and it doesnt seem to upset him to much but i feel like im hurting him when i do that and it makes me really sad and i want it to stop.

File: pepe2.jpg (20KB, 412x351px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 412x351px

>>39097850
you fuckers think you know anything about anxiety
>wake up to loud noises
>'Hello, have you seen Anon lately?'
>it's the cops looking for me again
>my neighbour says yes
>I fixed her laptop just 2 days ago and now she rats me out to the police
>haven't seen them for over 3 months and now it's all over again
I'm trembling I'm in deep shit again and last time I managed to escape them only by sheer luck

>>39097850
I should go to the doctor, see a therapist, pay bills and make some phonecalls

but I'm rooted in place, can't move can't accomplish anything...

>>39101905
can't just leave out all those details man

I have such terrible social anxiety that I can't even function around my family. I can never focus on a conversation because I always think they are looking at my dick, or they think I'm looking at a part of their body. I talk like a fucking robot which my dad constantly points out, and I go to sleep every time a guest comes over in order to avoid saying hi to them. I just went on a vacation back to my home country and I had to take Ativan every day for the days I was there in order to function. It doesn't help that I don't remember 90% of the time I spent there because I get high as fuck on Ativan to the point I cant stop talking and don't remember anything after. I'm 24, never worked, 0 friends, never had a gf, and live at home. My life could not be any worse. I would rather have a kidney stone for the rest of my life if it would get rid of my anxiety and depression.

File: aged_wojak.png (43KB, 542x602px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 542x602px

>>39097850
>ywn get a gf
Why even live anymore?

>>39097850
>autogynecophilia fetish
>but never wanted to trap or be a girl in public
>have apartment all to myself for next few days
>bought breast forms, makeup, lingerie, clothes, dildos
>fuck myself hardcore with/wearing them for last 2 days

I just feel so dirty right now.

>>39099943
Greninja is underrated and people will learn. Bayo a best though.

>find out ex whom I still love is getting married soon
>girl I was talking to isn't interested in me anymore
>still living in the same shoebox apartment alone
>job is shit and been the same for ~4 years
>cant make enough money to get a new place, or travel, or do anything but live day to day
>family is distancing themselves from me because im becoming bitter and I don't know how to talk to them without coming off like an asshole
>just about to enter my 30's and i'm depressed as fuck

is this all there is? just grinding through the rest of my days doing the same shit until I die of old age or kill myself?

File: image.jpg (548KB, 2000x1336px) Image search: [Google]

548KB, 2000x1336px

>rescued a bird that fell out of its nest today
>When I picked it up, its leg was snapped horizontal to the ground, with swelling around the broken bone
>Placed it on my lap in a blanket while I drove to the nearest vet, feeling it breathing and listening to it chirp
>It fell asleep, looking adorable as fuck as slept
>Get into the vet, give it to the vet lady and she confirms that it is broken, but it has some movement with its talons
>Takes it out back while I walk away
I really fucking hope they don't put it down, because that little fucker is a member of my favorite bird species. I should've just taken it home and nursed it back to health, but I just can't afford it right now. I feel bad for it's parents, because they were sitting on a fence chirping angrily at me, and they probably would be worried sick about their child, let alone their child's probable death. I think I really fucked up today anons.
Pic related (same bird species)

File: 1502779112968.jpg (29KB, 431x358px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 431x358px

>>39099052
>>39099180
>>39099792

Going through the same shit, constant anxiety for no reason, but i try to reduce it with weight lifting, L-theanine (literally whats in green tea but in pill form) and meditation.

>>39103747
Also anyone getting tension headaches, especially from the back of the head. This shit drives me insane it gives me nausea and leaves me uncordinated the pressure is killing me

>>39103747
I'm stealing your Rei pic anon

File: 1460218157144.jpg (100KB, 750x1000px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 750x1000px

>>39097850
Fucking retarded fucking anxiety means I never answer the fucking phone and never go to interviews despite being an overweight NEET with above average grades.

>ME: i need a job.
>ANXIETY: fuck you

Anyone else know this feel? Advice?

>>39097850
Im a virgin at 25 and panicking. Set up multiple dating website profiles and nothing but ugly and fat black women. If I dont get laid by 28 I'm killing myself.

>>39106265
>If I dont get laid by 28 I'm killing myself.
>nothing but ugly and fat black women

so basically you have to choose between unattractive women and death, and you're choosing death?

>>39106265
It's too late. 22 is the limit, and that's being generous.

>>39098992
>iktf
Go do it almost did the same yesterday but ended up going and she was a literal redhead goddess from sweden. Holy shit it was hard i spilled spaghetti everywhere and my face was bright red for the first 20 minutes. It was good for me though i think.

But if the reeason you sont want to go is because women are usually shit therapists then yea i agree fuck that.

File: tmp_28528-15028788669181800767559.png (148KB, 645x772px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 645x772px

How the fuck could she have said that

File: 1493853496335.jpg (30KB, 1000x556px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 1000x556px

>Have been called in for a health assessment to ensure I'm getting the right amount of autismbux (Read: they want to try and stiff me in any way possible)
>Went last time but it didn't go well, had a very bad panic attack, had to go home and they said I didn't have to go
>Gonna be asked a shitload of stuff, gonna be made to do demeaning "tests", and gonna be made to bring all my mental health stuff to the surface when I was just about getting by with it in the back of my mind

>>39106402
Precisley. There is no point in living if you can't find a qt and marry and breed her. Breeding with undesireables only leads to undesireable offspring which only brings more suffering into this fucked up look driven universe.

>>39106459
I will try everything in my power to get laid by a qt. If nothing happens before I turn 26 I am going to try and pay for it. If that and all other measures don't work I will off myself.

>>39107538
If you just want to have sex, hire a hooker and get it over with.

If you want a healthy love life, and you've never had a gf, it's too late at 25.

When is she going to leave me. It's bound to happen.

>>39107701
same. i made her cry yesterday when my tongue slipped and i told her another girl months ago had used a purple towel in the bathroom after showering. took an hour of begging to get her to stay and she kept saying she had to burn her hands and that purple wasn't her favorite color anymore and that she doesn't know why I would be so cruel

it all confused me so much. she's been very cold since

File: 1472493271537.jpg (71KB, 500x667px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 500x667px

>>39097850

>Never really been able to make it with women
>We are usually just different
>Meet cute chinese girl
>Start dating
>For 2 months everything was great
>Literally nothing came between us
>The perfect relationship
>She's moving and I'm probably not going to see her again for a long time if ever
>Why why why
>I get something so beautiful and then it gets ripped away over nothing

>was always very clean or "perfect" about things, people would always get pissed that I took so long to build/do/clean things but would admit I did them very well
>would be honestly bothered if I didn't do them to the best of my ability no matter how long it took
>a few years ago, notice myself starting to do "rituals"
>starts out with shit like checking the thermostat four times before I went to bed to make sure it was at the right temperature

>fucking jump to now
>fullblown OCD
>had to leave a job because a store manager was telling me in front of everyone that I was taking about "2 seconds too long" to unbox things and put them on a shelf, that he "has to get his money out of me"
>rituals are now things like
>checking if my door is locked in 8 sets of 1234-123
>checking if all my "reminder" notepads on my desktop are still the same and haven't changed in sets of 4 and then a final fifth check
>making sure my phone is turned off before bed by pressing its button lightly in sets of 123-123 6 times
>brush my teeth in a specific pattern and then start at the bottom and count to 7 brushes and move to the next area

Am I supposed to just cold turkey these or reduce their number of sets because every time I try and go to walk away it my mind tugs me back to it and I won't be able to sleep

I am never EVER touching medicine for this

>>39107744
Hmm, I'm just overthinking. I don't feel I'm likeable enough for anyone to stay interested for more than a few days. I think shes getting bored of me and I don't know what to do. She isn't even my gf yet, she has just told me that she really likes me and I've told her that I really like her

>>39107877
mate i'll tell you, we spent a month going from "like" to "really like" before I felt secure asking her out. if she says she "really likes" you then go for it after drinking a little one night. it'll go fine. i mean it depends on the inflection, if she emphasizes "really" then it's a sure thing

>>39107936
She switched from liking me to really liking me in one conversation. I already could tell she was interested though. Unfortunately there are some complications and for now we are taking it slow. She has BPD though, so I'm worried she will just change her mind in one day. I'm so worried she will slip through my fingers, despite her saying she really likes me and won't be going anywhere.

File: 1497588702212.jpg (88KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 600x600px

>choked on some food and nearly passed out around 16 years ago
>to this day it still affects how i eat food
>whenever i eat all i think about is choking
>sometimes wake up in a cold sweat struggling to breath
>sometimes wake up and sit straight up so that i don't choke on the imaginary food that's in my mouth while trying my hardest to swallow it

how do i escape these feels

>>39108044
yikes, you should definitely be careful investing too many feelings there. i hate to be mean or judgmental but you have to withstand so so much with bipolar people. just protect yourself

File: 1502687954460.jpg (465KB, 633x973px) Image search: [Google]

465KB, 633x973px

I've lost almost all motivation to socialize and I would rather stay inside jerking off or playing vidya.

>>39107857
I am the same, you have to take steps to do 1 less ocd thing at a time, it will drive you crazy, but giving into ocd behaviour will also drive you crazy, whenever i gdt the urge to do something like make aure my calender is the same as it was 2 minutes ago like 1234 check 1234 check i just go jerk off and sleep
Dont trust any meds, my ex killed herself from SSRI, meds r evil

>>39107857

Go to therapy, I've done it for my OCD.

File: 1502519982060.jpg (43KB, 530x805px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 530x805px

>>39097850
An older guy from my apartment complex figured out that i like him, And now he's actively avoiding me. I don't want to be gay anymore. This constantly makes me anxious and am unsure what to do

>>39108246
I'm determined to get through it because I know shes worth it. She just sent me some hearts with a cute goodnight message so I guess I'm slightly reassured. She told me she wants a yandere bf a not long before she admitted her feelings for me, I don't know whether I should go full yandere on her now or if/when we get closer

>>39108426
>yandere
Get some oxytocin to start building serious feelings. make sure you can trust her though

I burned out because all I wanted was a family. Didn't care about my future, making friends, I just wanted to be loved, my own father to tell me I wasn't a waste of time. Just wanted a hug.

>>39108458
I know for sure I have serious feelings for her, hell I'd probably kill for her right now if I had to but I'm scared that I'll just scare her away for moving too fast or being too extreme if I went full yandere (although she seems to like extreme yanderes). Being around her is the thing that makes me the happiest

>>39097850
I fear looking for a job, because I know I'll get one, and I don't want to spend 11+ hours a day sitting in front of a computer and in traffic.
I have developed a deep hatred for people, not even autistic (I think...), in fact I'm really good with people, but they have the depth of an NPC from the 90s.
Even if I had the courage to fucking work, the pay wouldn't allow me to escape this shithole. If I wanted to pay for university I would have to save up for nearly 8 years.
So yeah, I'm anxious and depressed about life, because I have no options. Also, I can't remember the last time I felt connected to someone.
Thx for reading my blog leave a like and a rope.

Broke
Friends think i am crazy
On cia hitlist because i know too much
Paranoid
No future
Girls dont like me
Want to leave this country and start a new life but if i do they will most likely send hitmans because i am more useful in this 3rd world shithole
Each day i go out is a risk to mylife
Poisioned once as a warning
Never had a gf
On medications
People avoid me
Raped as a kid

List goes on and on i really wish i can start a new life away from here and start a famaly

>>39097850
i used to be extremely dysphoric and a trans man in my teens it went away for a while and i presented more woman like (less than 2 years)
but now its back shittier than ever and all i want to do is transition but at the same time i really dont because i have commitment issues

I want to make and sell freeze dried strawberry chips because they're not available in my country or they're extremely rare. But, I don't know how to go about doing it and just thinking about it gives me a headache so I do nothing. Surely someone's made them already and they're just out there somewhere and creating them would result in some court case...

>>39097850
Physics in two weeks.
Calculus in three weeks.
I can't force myself to study.

File: 1498911301108.jpg (69KB, 480x520px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 480x520px

>>39097850
i have this friend with whom i really close (i've known her for like 10 years i have no interest of getting into her pants anymore)
i also have clinical paranoia and a really bad body image
two days ago i noticed she was going out of her way to sit as far away from me as possible during movie night (she usually sits next to me)
when she got home i got all serious and sent her a text asking her if i made her uncomfortable, turns out her socks smelled from walking around all day and she didn't want to take them off because she doesn't want to show her feet to people.
But she still got pissed off because i always do this and it's getting annoying (getting all serious about random shit and then waiting for her to get home to talk about it making her panic.)
We still laughed it off in the end but I feel like this was the last straw probably because i crossed a line i never crossed before : acknowledging she's a girl and im a boy and I'm afraid I made it weird.
Supposed to meet her tomorrow, she texted me yesterday but she was weirdly cold and I haven't talked to her since (not the kind of guy who initiates conversation)
So yeah the thought of getting worked up about something so stupid comes back in my head and get anxious and embarrassed. (plus the paranoia makes it worse because i can't tell when I'm overreacting or not)

also
>>39098341
I've had bad headaches since I'm a child and I've been convinced I have brain cancer for almost two years now. (even thought I have been tested and nothing's wrong with my brain)

>>39109111
Are you Terry A. Davis?

>>39109330
You already lost her

File: 1472722523017.jpg (317KB, 1067x1264px) Image search: [Google]

317KB, 1067x1264px

What am I supposed to tell my three randomly assigned roommates that I did all summer? I can't very well tell them I spent it jerking off in my parent's house at 21 years of age

>>39109485
If i had money it would have been a different story

But cia uses me and threatens me

Cia is the mafia

>>39098992
I like female ones more

>>39109238
thats really cool actually i hope you get to achieve your dreams
i love freeze dried apple chips more than anything

>>39097850
who feels their muscles tense and shake when they think about something they fucked up?

>>39108136
Oh god.
I always had issues with my stomach. Uneven stools, shitty experiences.
I ate some bad food, went out drinking like 9 years ago, and it went to shit - literally. I didn't make it all the way home before my bowels just emptied me. I know it's mostly due to me ignoring my guts and drinking more that did it - and the food was horrible and I knew I shouldn't eat it.
Anyhow, to this day, I clinch my asshole no matter where I am. If it's a funeral, if it's work, if it's at the bus, I'm sitting there anxious about shitting myself. Afraid to not being able to stop it. My stools are of fine shape, but I'm afraid my body will just go "fuck you, here we go!" and shit.
Or throw up. I haven't thrown up in years and years and years, apart from some alcohol induced vomiting, or lithium induced (it was green by the way). Anyhow, I'm in a state of readiness of how I will react when my body decides it's time to throw up.
It hinders me socially, physically and mentally. It's exhausting to feel as if the throat pushes up imaginary vomit, and clinching your asshole making so you sweat and that rises a whole new aspect of anxiety.

And the constant state of fear of failing. Or worse, fear of success. No matter how simple the task, I doubt how I do it. I go around worrying about small tasks, dwelling on minor bullshit that doesn't matter at all. Worrying about how small actions I took may affect large things. Did I send the post correctly? What if I didn't, are people doing it correctly for me behind the scenes without telling me? Should I ask? Why can't I just do them correctly in the first place? I've worried for weeks upon stuff that I shouldn't hear about if I did it correctly, and I haven't heard anything - reason enough for me to worry.

I'm anxious about not being interesting enough. I have nothing to say. No experiences. No social relationships to speak of. No interests. No hobbies. No accomplishments. I can talk about pragmatic shit, but nobody wants that.

>>39109767
>who feels their muscles tense and shake
only when i think about upcoming social situation
kill me

>want macdonals
>no line just people standing everywhere
>no way to tell who is in line

Guess ill get something else...

File: consider_the_following.png (275KB, 720x579px) Image search: [Google]

275KB, 720x579px

>>39105951
I don't even know myself because I'm a 25 years old shut-in NEET but watch this guy's lectures:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoJ79r_54fc&list=PL_K7XH1AIG8wZtQSM56Tyc-CR9ypvCbrF&index=31

I still have a long way to go to unfuck myself but before watching these lectures, I had no desire to change. Now, I want to change my life for the better and I've already taken some baby steps to achieve that goal (I'm currently fixing my sleep schedule for example).