>wake up >want to die

>>39090234
This is me everyday, then I clean up my room and take the coldest shower I possibly can to shock myself into waking up inside.

Sometimes I can't wake up though.

>>39090266
Wait, feeling alive is possible?

>die
>Reborn into same shitty circumstance that i was in last time
The hell ride does not cease

>>39090280
Yes, even if you're dead inside you can still feel alive if you take the steps to do so. Ice cold water helps make you feel alive. Having a clean living space helps make you feel alive. Eating a decent meal and doing moderate exercise makes you feel alive.

>>39090296
>yfw thats what hell really is
>a reincarnation into a similar life that gradually gets worse each cycle

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>>39090323
I have never felt alive then. Wish I was joking.
Everything has felt like I was watching life from outside through a window.

>>39090234
You realize that mental pain alone is manageable once you have to wake up at 6:30 five days a week.
The horrible physical weakness makes the mental suffering much worse.

>>39090365
Try 2am, 4am if I'm lucky.

>>39090345
The armchair psychologist in me says that it sounds like you're suffering from some heavy dissociation mate, most likely as a result of prolonged depression. Do you do any drugs? Drink alcohol? Bad childhood memories?

>>39090380
When do you go to sleep and why must you wake up so early?

>>39090415
My entire life, and I don't mean that to joke. I have had a fucked up childhood. I do a shit load of drugs, mostly weed and kratom, and drink if I have niether. Even before all the drugs I have felt this way, drugs just made me feel, made me feel human. The drugs don't work anymore, I am just as empty as when I started.
>>39090416
I unload trucks and sort it all on palettes. I get out at 11am-1pm and pass out around 7-8pm.

>>39090478
Must pay nicely. I've been thinking about getting a night shift job after finishing HS instead of going to uni

>>39090529
It pays like shit. 800 a month, 400 every 2 weeks. That's not even enough to rent a room over here.

>>39090234
How is this originally original

>>39090559
What country is that? 800 euros would be pretty dank for me.

>>39090573
US. I'm also living in a fly over state so that probably doesn't help, I don't know.

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>wake up
>feeling happy
>think why
>super depression kicks in
t-thanks

>>39090590
Oh then that's really bad. I thought the federal minimum wage was higher than that.

>>39090686
Where I work we follow payroll, the hours that are given to our store. If we go over then we have to cut shifts short, so it never matters how long or how much you work, you're still getting your hours cut and your pay reduced because of it.

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>>39090296
>die
>consciousness doesn't cease to exist
>eternal state of existence without physical senses as mind in a neverending void
I didn't sign up for this.

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>>39091024
>life is really about building memories that will accompany us in the void
>forever
>tfw nothing but bad and regretful memories

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>>39091439
>you either end up with bad memories and the knowledge of what could have been or with good memories and the knowledge of the things you will never have again
I don't think there is a way to "win"

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>>39091533
Our only hope is that the table flips someday.

>>39091591
>Our only hope is that the table flips someday.
How so? The only way of this cycle ever ending would be the end of existence all together and I don't know if that is something we can count on happening in the near future.

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>>39090234
You wouldn't feel like that if you worked for a living, kiddo.

>wake up
>feel comfy
>have a nice 1 hr sleep in

Evenings are when I feel like shit desu

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theres not much of a point besides looking at cartoon vagina

>woke up 2 hours ago
>still haven't gotten out of bed
>it's 6 fucking 30 now

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>39091637
That's flipping the table anon

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>after months of depressive state, I feel happy.
>happiness didn't last more than 3 hours
>back to being depressed

just end it

>feel like today is going to be a good day
>go to bed wanting to kill myself even more

>>39090234
ride, I need that new album tho

>>39090234
I can't care less about your pathetic life

Haha terrible thread to stumble on while tripping.

>>39093365
>still makes a post

>listening to dg in my room
>dad comes in to ask if I joined al-queda
What the fuck dad?