What are the chances of not having an instantaneous death or

why do you want to kill yourself op? do you really think it is the answer to your problems?

Go head first and you'll snap your neck=insta death.

>tfw two lazy to off myself

>>39081625
I want to kill myself because for the last few years, I have just been crawling from day to day. It has all been one big blur of stagnation and depression.

I am 22 and am terrified by the fact that I have wasted most of my life so far and it will be impossible to scavenge what's left of my youth. Nothing interests me anymore. Anger, envy, and a pessimistic, self-destructive attitude have taken away everything I once enjoyed, which was a small list to begin with anyway.

I can't function because everyday I am troubled by intrusive thoughts. Other people's success and happiness makes my blood boil. I spiral from very short manic episodes into very prolonged depressions. I can't name a single thing I've accomplished whether it is something meaningful or purely hobby related in the past two years.

That's the condensed narrative. I lack the zest for life and it is a positive feedback loop. I am so lonely and that propels me further into depression. That depression kills my drive, motivation or interest in everything, and this ensures that I will never find anyone to be with or improve my quality of life.

>>39081678
It's a great meme. One that I suffer from. Sandwiched between two terrifying alternatives, slowly going mad at the prospect of having to choose.

>>39081714
welcome to being an adult, im 10 days off being 29 years old, and ive felt the way you do since i was 20. ive been through more than you have in terms of negative life altering events, yet im still here. life is shit, but you have to deal with it

>>39081748
Suffering and depression has nothing to do with being an adult, if you feel this way, you feel this way regardless of how old you are. And no, you don't really have to deal with anything. I will definitely not make the same mistake as you, living a terrible, prolonged existence for no reason whatsoever. It seems like you carry your suffering around like some badge of honor. No one is impressed.

>>39081785
suit yourself kid. its your life. dont get jelly that im stronger than you emotionally. if you want to die because you cant deal with the shit your dealing with, then kill yourself. dont go bragging about it like a "badge of honour" haha

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>>39081831
>kid

Alright, calm down Old Man Winter. I know you've got enough suffering packed into your ancient 28-year-old bones to last the both of us, but let's not assume that I am anything other than sorry for you. You are not emotionally strong, you are an idiot scraping for hope, but you won't find any, and that makes me smile. Try to stick it out though until you hit 30, I hear they give out medals for that kind of suffering.

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>>39081605
Just use a rope you cuck a couple of seconds is quick. Don't be a pussy.

>>39082047
>>39081785
OP IS BEING AN ASSHOLE>>39081831
Was giving you sincere advice

Make some explosives out of ammonium nitrate and diesel or fuel oil, blow yourself up instead. If you submerge your head in it before ignition your entire brain will be destroyed instantly.

>>39082090
Good advice. If I want a high chance of simply suffering from permanent brain damage, I'll keep it in mind.

>inb4 op already has permanent brain damage

>>39082107
His advice was literally, "Life sucks, deal with it." Fuck him.

>>39082148
No thanks.

>>39081605
I won't encourage you to commit suicide but as someone who was suicidal in the past (and tried), I'll give my two cents, considering the fact that the highest jump into water while surviving is about 200 ft, You'll probably die instantly, especially since you won't be diving and probably be in foetal position (natural reflex).


Something to consider is that a lot of fall survivors regret their choice at the last moment.

Anyway I respect your choice and wish you good luck with whatever you are doing

The human body is pretty resilient. You will probably die if you jump that high but i don't think it will be an instant or painless death.

>>39081605
Pls don't

Riginal

>>39082047
project less kid, im not the one wanting to kill myself hahahahahhahahahahaha

>>39082166
my advice is true, kid. you are acting like a woman. not my fault you dont have the balls to face life head on, kid.

what more do you want me to say, kid? you want to kill yourself, you do it, kid. you are so fucking weak that you cant even handle it, kid.

>>39081605
>seems like too much effort to acquire a gun and ammo.
This is the last thing you'll ever do, surely it's worth a little effort. You won't remember the effort when you're dead anyway.

>>39082716
Nice repetition on kid. Keep on trucking on, your stupidity and tenacity in the face of immense bleakness is amusing.

>>39082047
>repsonding to 28 year old
>calm down Old Man Winter.
keked out loud

>>39081605
from someone who failed an honest suicide attempt, trust me, just get a gun

>>39082872
A 900 ft. jump seems more reliable than gunshot. Still, I'd like to get my hands on a gun and shoot myself on the ledge.

>>39082166
Not a very high chance if you do it properly. It sounds like you're just making up reasons to not do it. And if you hesitate, perhaps there's a small part of you that still hopes a better life is possible.

>>39082940
>there's a small part of you that still hopes a better life is possible

There is. If there wasn't I'd be dead by now. Part of it is also fear of death, but maybe that would be gone if I had no hope. It's all very frustrating. Every day is the same and I don't think I can improve my quality of life, but I also don't necessarily want to die even though it's all I think about anymore. It's a great scenario to find myself in. Even now I am overcome with anger and envy for those who have killed themselves. Those assholes did it, why can't I? Just the thought of making an adequate noose perplexes me and I don't understand how the fuck people do it. Jumping is the only thing I can comprehend.

>>39081714
>I am 22 and am terrified by the fact that I have wasted most of my life so far and it will be impossible to scavenge what's left of my youth

>falling for the time meme
Time doesn't exist. Look at how the planet rotates around the sun. It's cyclical; it just keeps going round and round. There's no new days, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just a false perception of it. There's only one moment. Everything is now, in changing perspectives. Everything is infinite. The universe never began, and it will never end.

The only thing that changed is your perspective.

>>39083087
It irritates me that I see a new reply in my thread and it is this meaningless garbage. So what you're telling me is that when a person goes from being healthy and young to old, incontinent, and withering from the inside out, it's just a change in their perspective?

>falling for the retard who thinks he's a philosopher meme

>>39081714
>"I can't name a single thing I've accomplished"
well in that case killing yourself would be a great start

>>39083136
Precisely.

I didn't say a change in perspective is always a good thing. I'm saying that that's all it is: a change in perspective. Everything changes in each "new" moment of now. Nothing actually happened, but a change in your perspective. There is no past. You can change your perspective again.

>>39083194
Who hurt you, buddy?

original comment for my new friend

>>39081605
Are you the same guy that made the HIV post the other day?

>>39083205
Change is change. You're not saying anything meaningful. You are just swapping out the word time with the word perspective, for what reason, I have no idea.

>>39083222
No

>>39081748
I'm with OP on this. Why are you proud of enduring your shitty life for so long? Why do you 'have' to?
You don't have to do anything. Life is meaningless and if you're not enjoying it you can just check out.

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>>39081605
OP read closely. If you plan to kill yourself, at least take someone who deserves it really, with you. How about some high tier banker ? Or high tier member in blackstone, Monsanto etc. You'd make the world a somehow better place.

I would suggest helium

>>39081605
whoever finds your body would be wondering why they'd shoot a man before throwing him off a bridge

>>39083222
I'm sad and I have HIV

>>39083318
>You'd make the world a somehow better place.

That's not the reason I would ever do that. I would do it to end that particular person's joy. I am not an apologist in any way. I hate people who see some type of self-sacrifice for the better of humanity in their deaths. Nobody gives a shit about me or my plight, why the fuck would I do anything for anyone purposefully?

The closest thing I've ever considered to what you are describing in terms of taking someone with me is butchering some girl I find attractive before offing myself.

>>39083388
Why are you assuming that I would care what they thought my death was caused by? I'm dead, it doesn't matter. There are other reasons they would know it was a suicide so it doesn't matter anyway.

>>39081625
Man. I remember when the first motherfucking reply to these motherfucking threads was motherfucking "DO IT."

>>39083410
OP, I enjoy reading your writing. Would you write some sort of chronicles or letter before you do it?

>>39082802
only kids get upset when called a kid, kid

>>39083462
I've been told in the past to put my thoughts to paper as well. I have played around with the idea of writing out a tell-all manifesto about my life, views, and thoughts, but it seems like something I would get bored of. If I eventually go through with it, I probably won't leave any type of letter, note or other writing whatsoever.

>>39083465
I wasn't ever upset by it. I found your choice in that word amusing considering there is a gap of only six years between our ages. I imagined you teleporting behind me with a katana in your hand and a fedora on your head.

I hope you enjoy this (You), buddy.

Alright OP listen carefully this is how you do it:

Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the
edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.

Next, tie cheese wire around your neck, tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.

Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are
glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind (you fucking pussy).

Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.

You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of
causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
Guaranteed to break the ice at parties!

>>39083543
sure thing kid, whatever you say, kid

if you wanted to kill yourself, you would have already

go attention whore on >>>/soc/

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OP here. Alright everyone, that's a wrap on tonight. Thanks for everyone who made this thread a success. I want to thank the kidposter, the time guy, the guy who said he likes my writing, all the people who were nice, all the people who were mean, and if I'm forgetting anyone I'm sorry. You're all in my heart! I also want to thank Hiromoot for making this all possible. Thank you!

I am not really suicidal, just lonely and depressed and I like (You)'s..

>>39083678
I'm glad you're not going to go through with it OP. I hope your life improves. My advice would be, don't be afraid of embarrassment or rejection. Just do what you feel like doing because our existence is temporary and nothing really matters.

>>39083756
Thank you for those kind words, anon. I'm going to go and continue on my path to /fit/dom so I can find a nice, pale qt to go to the movies with late at night and play splitscreen vidya with. I wish you luck in all of your future endeavors.

Stop masturbating it uses mass amount of dopamine and messes up dopamine receptors making you depressed, emotionless and tired

Stop eating sugar/carbs, this will make you tired and also does the dopamine stuff to a less extent

Getting your heart rate high for 10-20 minutes uses up all the chemicals in your brain to do with anxiety so do this at the start of the day


If you do want to kill yourself just breath in the gas from a gas cooker, painless easy death

>>39083970
>>39081605
also 22 aint shit
just start leaning a skill now that you are interested in
go to uni/college or teach yourself at home

>>39083970
>tfw I masturbate a lot
>tfw I eat lots of sugar and carbs
>tfw I don't exercise too much

>>39083985
I am learning C++ so I guess I've got that. Nothing else skill related though.

>>39084022
>I am learning C++
good
if you are just learning though, switch to javascript its much simpler and can be learned very fast here
https://www.codecademy.com/
You write the code on the webpage along with the instructions, very fast learning

you can then use javascript with unity to make and sell any/app game you can think of


>>39084022
>>39083970
Theres loads of good youtube videos on this stuff aswell, if you search "low carb diet" "nofap" etc

>>39084081
I intend to learn other programming languages. I've been recommended Unity and Unreal Engine by a friend and I intend to try them out. I go to school for programming.