You get a gf who's perfect in every way. She's completely

>>39076188
Honey, this "I'm thinking Arby's" gag has gone too far.

>>39076188
Get out the au jus

>>39076238
>gag
Kek, nice one.

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I take Mario's advice

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>>39076208
You don't divorce? There is hope for me after all.

>>39076188
who was the braindead mong that thought this sandwich was good enough to serve to a costumer.

That meat hat to be sitting in the freezer for days and later reheated in some microwave, possibly overcooked looking at the sides.

Thats way too much meat and mayo sauce on a fucking sandwich as well. Its overflowing for fucks sake, looks like its shit overflowing from the toilet with that much meat and some nob just unloaded a jar of cummies on the sandwich to give it a sweet and sour taste. Do mericans really eat that much meat? and

OF FUCKING COURSE that mong would choose a seasame seed bun. Seasame buns are clearly inferior and anyone who eats them, I would have no doubt in my mind that they would find this sandwich appealing as well.

I wouldn't feed this to a hermit if he was suffering from Auschwitz like conditions. nope

>>39076352
Is that you, Gordon Ramsay?

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>>39076188
How would that happen if she's "completely pure"?

>>39076188
Plan B

B as for Backdoor

>>39076188

you see a sandwich?
kek

>>39076397
Bad genes, my man. I myself can confirm. Never had sex in my life and yet it's an absolute massacre down there.

>>39076345
If it means anything, no trait that we have got in the way of our direct ancestors who had those traits so much that they couldn't breed, or else we wouldn't be alive.

>>39076465
Thos excludes mutations and deformities our ancestors didn't have, of course. Which isn't the case for roasties.

>>39076465
Yes, but back then people were lucky if they didn't die at age 30 and had to take what they could get. Nowadays people have choices and nobody's gonna choose a roastie and not regret his decision immediately upon surveying the damage.

>>39076465
>>39076544
I don't know why I assumed you were talking about my ancestors from the Stone Age. My brainlet power level is showing.

>>39076443
>>39076345
>roasted
I wouldn't trust you all
You'd cheat on me when you got the chance I know it
Not
Even
Once

>>39076799
>you all
There's only one of me, anon. Unless there's another unfortunate roastie lurking in this thread.

>>39076848
You at all
Typing fast

>>39076188
I'd be skeptical of her claims of virginity, but if there's blood, then it's no big deal.

>>39076915
When you stick it n, it's tight. But you're stuck married to a roastie. Is it worth it if you love her and know for sure she's not a whore?

>>39076967
Look, at this point, roastie or not, all I want is some semi-cute girl (5-6), who isn't used goods, that I actually can call a friend and enjoy spending time with.

Literally just:
>have a personality
>don't be fat
>be a virgin

If all of those boxes are checked, a roastie isn't a big deal, even if it's not really my cup of tea.

She made me a sandwich for after?? That's how you know she's a keeper.

>>39077037
I'm really glad you think that, anon. Hopefully others do too. I was thinking of becoming an hero tonight because I thought no one would ever want me. I've decided not to now. Thank you.

>>39076188
Too invested to have the waiter take it back now looks like beefs back on the menu

>>39076188
Wonder why the fuck some Arby's sandwich suddenly manifested itself into the form of my wife and unleashed the inner Gordon Ramsay until that pisspoor excuse of a "sandwich" goes the fuck away and brings me back my wife. Then shoot it to put it out of it's misery.

>>39077138
No problem, anon. Out of curiosity, how old are you? I've been pretty bummed about the increasing inevitability of not being able to find a virgin. I'm just kind of curious as to what my odds really look like.

>>39076443
should have abstained from masturbating to the thought of chad, you slut.

>>39077254
I'm 19. Not sure what the average age for losing your virginity is, but out of the few friends I have, I'm the only virgin. Your best bet would be trying to find a girl who isn't a Stacy.

>>39077272
I find chads off putting. Too loud and obnoxious.

>>39077303
I don't even bother with Stacies anymore, truthfully, even the ones I potentially have a chance with. Even avoiding them though, it's an absolute cesspool as far as non-Stacies are concerned.

Average in the U.S. is 16.

>>39077369
Most non-Stacies have some sort of hidden problem that you find out later. Mental illness, personality flaw, etc.

Roasties do not appear on virgins.

>>39077540
I can deal with minor personality flaws. I'm willing to put up with some types of mental illness. Unfortunately, the non-Stacies I've actually spoken to aren't virgins either.

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>>39077571
This is incorrect, sir.

>>39077736
Is it just whores you have a problem with? Or non-virgins in general? Because if it's the latter, it's gonna be pretty damn hard to find a girl unless she's a hardcore Christfag.

>>39077317
and I find meaty pussies extremely hot. What's good

>>39077993
Non-virgins in general. I've tried getting over it. I started seeing a girl I clicked fairly well with for a bit. But any time the thought of her not being a virgin popped into my mind, it was like a massive punch in the gut that spoiled the rest of the day for me.

>Because if it's the latter, it's gonna be pretty damn hard to find a girl unless she's a hardcore Christfag.
I've tried dabbling in a few Church Young Adult groups, Christfags are worthless these days.

It's a cesspit all around and I've given up hope. It sucks being lonely, but I'm not willing to compromise on that.

>>39076188
Honestly, that's a death sentence. It's either divorce or surgery.

Before you ask, yes, I would surgically fix it if I was the girl and it was my vagina. Who would want to live with a roastismo disaster?

>>39076188
eat up.

unorlglnaI

>>39077138
I'd nibble your disgusting meat flaps, you larping faggot. So would anyone else in here given the chance.

>>39076544
False. The mean age was 30-40 due to massive childhood morbidity. The median age was still 60+.

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>>39078188
I'll probably get mine fixed when I can afford it. I just wanted to know how likely it was for roastie flaps to be a deal breaker. I'll get them fixed, but I won't an hero like I was going to if I can't. Pic unrelated.

>>39076270
What
What whatwhat

This wasn't original

>>39078095
That sucks anon. Do you know why exactly it bothers you? Is it just the thought that you didn't get there first or something?

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>>39076238
it's the truth tho

>>39076188
Why would my gf have an Arby's roast beef sandwich in her pants? Is she autistic?

>>39076188
make love to her, if I'm willing to marry her than I don't care what her vagina looks like.

>>39076188

surprised no-one has commented this yet

labiaplasty my dudes, labiaplasty.

>>39076397
you are actually retarded.it is obviously an entirely genetic trait. like do you think penises just literally destroy vaginas?

>>39076352
I know this is just satire but if you really are this cynical about food,maybe you should just fuck off. Looks pretty good to me.

Why the fuck does she have a sandwich in her underwear? I didn't date a fatso, op, this is unreasonable.

>>39076269
>Get out the au jus
>au jus
You're literally saying "get out the with juice" you fucking mong

>>39076188
Anyone who thinks roasties aren't supreme to go down on is a virgin. Fact.

>>39076188
Thats my favorite fast food restaurant anyway.

>>39078524
There's a number of reasons for it.
First of all, I'm just repulsed at the idea of someone I love, or could potentially love, having sex with another guy. Thinking about all of the things they'd have done together fills me with a whirlwind of negative emotions. Insecurity, jealously, disgust, etc. Insecurity and jealously are natural of course, but the disgust is almost overpowering at times. It's silly, but I can't help but feel a little betrayed. Obviously, with regard to the girl I was actually seeing for a bit, she lost her virginity before she even knew me, but I still felt that way.

Beyond that, I feel like sex wouldn't be special at all. I mean, she'd have done it before. There's nothing left for this hypothetical her and I to discover or explore together.

Aside from feelings, and experiences, though, I've waited. I've had opportunities to sleep with people at parties I've been dragged to, short-lived relationships I've been in (Actually, a good number of those ended because I wouldn't "go further" with them), etc. Why shouldn't I expect someone else to.

Finally, though, there's reality. Non-virgin women just don't make good wives. Even when you strip away negative emotions, or romanticized notions of sharing sexual experiences with someone you love and you're truly committed to, non-virgins just aren't good. Previous partner count is highly predictive of likelihood to cheat and/or divorce. There's a very startling jump when going from zero to even 1 previous partner. It can't be pinned entirely on faithfully married, but miserable religious couples either, because reported marital stability and happiness tend to fall along previous partner count as well. Beyond that, there's some evidence to suggest that sexual restraint leads to relationships being perceived better, and other studies are coming in which suggest promiscuous sex in monogamous animals erodes their ability to pair-bond.

>>39076188
Start preparing for the divorce.

>>39076188
I would seriously consider stopping with the LSD after marrying a sandwich

>>39076188
Post a Photo and I'll be honest, you don't even need a timestamp

>>39077037
That's actually a lot to ask for nowadays, anon.

Welcome to japan. I've only fucked one non-roastbeef cunt since ive been here.

>>39079222
I'm well aware. It's a very sad reflection on the state of modern society.

We were born too late to enjoy a meaningful life, too early to rebuild, but just in time to watch the collapse of our own society. It's a bad feel.

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>>39079110
This made me chuckle. Well done. Pic semi-related.

>>39078951
You actually make a good argument, anon. A rare sight in a place like this. I take it from this that you're also saving yourself for marriage?

>>39077303
Whoa, what's your info? Not because I'm interested in dating you, but because I really wanna see how a 19 year old girl can be so antisocial.

>>39079456
I am. Whether or not I end up married is another matter entirely.

>>39076188
consummate the marriage with her anus

>>39079472
The same way anybody else could be. In my case, mental illness. Nothing special. I'm not a magical unicorn, anon. I just have a vagina like half the population does.

>>39079586
I'm 19 too, but it's a foreign concept to think a girl my age, who looks decent, and is generally okay to be around cannot find a dude that wants her or numerous "acquaintances", atleast.
You have to have some serious mental issues.

>>39079456
>Good argument
>Gets triggered and feels betrayed because people do things before they're aware he exists
>b-but he admits it's irrational so its ok

>>39079612
Not her but all she needs to have is anxiety/depression. It doesn't need to be that serious. What planet are you on anon. I know girls who are in their twenties who are still virgins.

>>39076188
So she has a sandwich in her pants for some reason?

>>39079626
>>39079612
She's fat and ugly. This is why women are virgins.

I have never seen a vagina this bad before. Roasters are a myth

>>39079626
I don't think those two keep you from much, b.
>>39079637
Even then, my nig friend would fuck with the big white girls at our school, the standard that guys have for girls and vice versa is totally different

>>39079624
>Focusing on one part of the post.

>>39079703
The rest of it is mind numbing virgin shit. Simply saying "you'll get over it if you ever lose your virginity" would be met with REEEEE and tears

>>39079696
I said fat AND ugly. Not just fat.

>>39079612
That's the thing, I DO have mental issues. And I'm not pretty to look at either. I'm way too tall and my nose and jawline are pretty manly looking. People thought I was a lesbian for years because I'm not feminine at all. My insecurities make me too terrified to have any close friends, let alone a relationship.

>>39079626
This is my problem exactly. I've had an anxiety disorder since I was a little kid, and it resulted in severe depression later in life. I was lonely as a child, and became wary of other people as an adult.

>>39079762
>This is my problem exactly.
Yeah I figured. Most people I know who are virgins are because of stuff like this.

I'm one for the same reason. I have an anxiety disorder and depression that was really bad 2 years ago. I'm working on it. Most of it comes from stuff that happened to me when I was a kid.

I know its hard to make friends anon but at least try to make some online. It helps. It helped me.

As for the femininity...those can be fixed with how you dress and stuff like that. How's you nose look like exactly?

>>39076188
"Honey why did you put burger in your pants"

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>>39079814
I'm too paranoid for online friends. I only have friends in real life, but I suck ar being social so that makes it more difficult. Sorry for whatever happened to you as a kid. I hope you move past it.

And to answer your question, pic related. Shitty quality, but you get the idea. It's way too big for my face.

>>39079737
>You'll get over studies and data if you just lose your virginity

Why do my own personal feelings, alongside data frustrate you so?

>>39079996
Anon. Your nose is actually attractive from what I can see. I don't know how it is on your overall face. but honestly its probably fine. Also nice skin tone.

And why paranoid? Like do you think something bad will happen if you make a friend online

>>39079996
Your nose honestly isn't that bad. Granted, I do like larger noses (I really wouldn't class yours as being that, though), and masculine jaws.

It's a pity, maybe in another life, something could have happened.

>>39080246
Pretty much. My mom is a helicopter parent and I grew up with "DON'T TALK TO ANYONE ONLINE!" drilled into my head constantly. Plus I just don't trust people in general.

>>39080305
My mom was like that. My parents were too controlling in general. I wasn't allowed to have a friend at all until I was 14 (part of why I got issues). I kinda broke free of that. I didnt make really close online friends till i was 19ish, your age I guess. I'm 25 now. I'm honestly alot better off. Being able to open yourself off feels nice. Granted it took me years to do it, but still.

I also don't trust people in general. Being gaslighted as a kid does wonders for trust. Lel.

>>39080347
That sucks what your parents put you through. Good on you for getting through it and making online friends. I just worry about revealing my identity in a thread like this, on a SITE like this. I come here because it's entertaining and the people here think like I do, but I also know how dangerous it can be. I come to this board practically every day, but I always tread lightly.

>>39080418
Thanks for condolences. I'm sure you've gone through similar stuff so it feels like its more than just a regular "sorry that happened"

As far as revealing identity goes.. the trick is to like...never reveal your identity that can be tied to your IRL self. When I first made online friends, I used IRC. used aliases t hat weren't tied to me at all. Eventually some of the friends on there did know who I was for real but it was after only years of trust and friendship. And it was cause I chose to.

Like even now I've added people off /r9k/ with a throwaway discord I made that isn't tied to anything. I've made 2 pretty cool friends (both a guy and a girl) off this board and I don't even come here that often.

>>39080501
I've been thinking about creating a throwaway discord, but I hate the sound of my own voice. I even panic whenever I have to talk on the phone to someone. It's illogical and weird, but I guess I just don't have enough confidence yet to talk to people outside of 4chan.

>>39080694
Just use the messaging, most people don't use discord for voice really, at least no robots on this board.
I've only talked to one person via voice and it was cause they asked me to help practice their English. I used to be SUPER shy with voice myself but my friends on IRC helped me with that too. But yeah most people don't expect you to use your voice at all. Its mostly just chatting via text.

And nah it's not illogical and weird, I mean not really. Anxiety is just like that. It doesn't really behave rationally. I get you anon. Taking first steps like that are pretty scary especially for people like with issues like this.
You should consider just trying it and seeing. Its not like you can't take a break from it if it becomes too much and all that.

Do you want me to post my contact? I don't mind making another discord friend and we seem to have stuff in common at least in terms of upbringing.

>>39080801
If you like to, sure. I'll save it for if I ever end up getting a discord. It'll probably be a long time to be honest. If you don't hear back from me I've probably gone full retard and panicked. I don't ghost people on purpose, I just get really overwhelmed and frightened when talking to new people.

>>39076188
Ask her why she stuffed a sandwich in her vagina.

>>39080882
Yeah I understand. Take your time, no rush really. I get the panic and stuff. I've had my share of anxiety attacks. Once I got asked out to a party and I couldn't even say anything. I just kinda took off in the opposite direction and pretended to not hear anything even after they kept calling after me.

I honestly think I'm pretty chill in general and most people tend to agree and I'm pretty understanding of mental issues since I'm fucked myself in that department. Just add me whenever you make one whether that's now or weeks from now

Nanashi#0620

>>39081008
You're a good, dude, anon.
I wish you the best

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>>39081008
I saved it in my notes. No idea when or if I'll pluck up the courage to use it. If I don't, I'm extremely sorry. Thank you so much for everything, anon. Hopefully we'll talk again.

>>39081106
Good luck to you too, femanon.

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>>39081088
Thanks man. You too.

>>39081106
Don't be sorry anon. I'll understand.
I hope we talk again one day. Hopefully soon.
If not good luck!

Don't forget we're all gonna make it.

>>39081106
That was really dramatic and embarrassing, femanon.

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>>39081172

It was cute, CUTE. CUTE DAMN YOU.

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>>39076188
Takes down her panties and gives me a burger? She really is perfect. If there's only one I'd share it with her. Maybe watch some anime while eating and then cuddle afterwards.

>>39079696
>too tall
just date a supermanlet

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>>39076188
I would sing this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-ZmJuQqT9Q

>>39077369
>Average roast is 16.
S A D

>>39081272
You're replying to the wrong person
Oregano

>>39076188
Turn out the light, pull the curtains back, and fuck that love tunnel.

>>39081384
Shit.
>>39079762
Just date a supermanlet

>>39079996
Fucking attention whore. You're beautiful and probably interesting to be with. Would date if lived near.

>>39080882
that was her polite way of ghosting you anon
sorry

>>39076188
>implying that a robot would even get to that point

>>39079663

google: hope solo

>>39079696
>my nig friend would fuck with the big white girls at our school

i had a black friend in highschool who would fuck any girl no matter how fat or ugly. he also got 8/10s. he just wasnt picky and would go for whatevers on offer.

>>39076188
>saving herself for marriage.
Not interested in marrying, she should find someone else.