BPD Mother

Yep, it's hell. Get out of there as soon as you can and cut off all contact. It's the only way to get better.
BPDs are manipulative, emotional leeches on anyone they can get their claws into. It should be illegal for them to have kids.

When my mom isn't drunk or if she's too drunk she acts like that

>>38911357

I'm out of the house now but she still causes drama and all the anxiety comes flooding back. I've also clearly got a lot of unresolved issues. It just makes me sad that I will never have a normal mother.

>>38911388

I'm sorry to you both anons, that you have to deal with these issues too.

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>Mother is crazy
>Always drunk
>Comes into my bedroom and starts screaming about how much she hates me and I'm a terrible child
>Smashes up my room, destroys my toys, rips up my teddy bear in a rage
>Cry silently trying to clean up my destroyed things

>>38911415
Like I said, you need to cut her off completely. Even if you have to move to another town, change your phone number, etc. Don't tell her where you live, your new phone number, anything. Get a restraining order if you have to. That's my best advice to you. If you can't do it right now, save up.
Also, look into reading Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. No memeing, it's a great book for people like us.
I know that feeling though. Sometimes I imagine what my life would be like if I had had one. My mother never even hugged me.

>>38911680

Thank you for your advice. I know you are right. She will never change. Thank you for the book recommendation. I've also been told about Walking on Eggshells but have yet to read it.
How are you coping being no contact with your own mother? Does she still, or has she tried to contact you?

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>>38911432
Fuck, man. That must be one of the worst things i've heard..

>>38911432
tell her when's she sober that the kind of stuff she does to you is the kind of stuff that makes bitches end up in a shallow grave and just stare at her and tell her the next time she walks into your room, it just might be the last.

I'm fortunate enough my mom wasn't really violent.

But being around her is always uncomfortable, you're always walking on eggshells and can't relax because she changes at the drop of a hat.

>>38911864

Sorry but you don't know what you're talking about. You're assuming that a BPD person is a rational creature. Threats don't work. It will just drive them into a further rage. You're constantly checking yourself to make sure you don't tip them over into a rage.
My mother can go so crazy I honestly fear that one day she will kill me in her rage.

>>38911749
It's hard, I admit. I still want to have a mother I can rely on. Sometimes I remember the times when she wasn't so bad. But she'll never be a good mom. And once I got away, a lot of my stress and anxiety stopped. I go to therapy and try to fill my time with hobbies and other things to keep my mind off of the loneliness that sometimes creeps in. It helps that I recently got back in contact with my father and am learning that he's not such a bad guy, like she told me.
I left her a note telling her not to contact me, etc. when I left for good so she wouldn't think I was missing or killed. I'm sure she's tried to find me since, but there has been no contact because I don't keep in touch with that side of the family and I have no social media under my real name.
Good luck to you. We were both dealt a shit hand in life, but I believe in you. Oh, and Walking on Eggshells is another good book, yes. Do read them when you have the time.

>>38911162
Yep

At times she's the nicest mom in the world other times she's a batshit insane lunatic yelling and whining about nothing and everything

Could be why I'm attracted to crazy, agressive and abusive women

>>38911915
No I'm saying literally kill her you fucking moron, or at least injure her severely. Make HER walk on eggshells around you, you are the Alpha Mentally-Deranged Person in this relationship Source: BPD Mother and Im BPD too

>>38911162
>>38911357
Fuck I thought I was the only one. Fuck OP it's better for everyone involved to get out as soon as possible. BPD with Alcohol is a fucking disaster.

>>38911952

I don't want to hurt my own mother or have a criminal conviction for assaulting someone.

>Im BPD too

That explains why you think violence is an appropriate solution to this situation. Please never have children of your own.

>>38911952
Memes aside, this. Maybe don't injure her, but the only way she'll leave you alone is if you make yourself out to be crazier than she is. My mother has BPD and the only was I was able to start getting a good night's sleep was when I threw the TV through the window and slept in my Car that night. Good Luck OP.

>>38911977
I've already chemically castrated myself, also i'm a perma-virgin so you know.

>>38911924

Good luck anon. It's a hard road but thanks for sharing. Makes me feel less alone at least. I will check out the book you mentioned.

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>>38911162
>Every morning my mum knocks on my door to wake me up.
>SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHORE.
>She then goes downstairs and gets me breakfast, brings it up to my room.
>What any thing else anon???.
>FUCK OFF SLUT.

>>38911997

I just want to live a normal calm life. I don't want to be throwing televsion sets through windows. That isn't right, or ok. I don't want to sleep in my car again.
Thank you for the good luck. I hope things work out for you too. I understand sometimes you have to take drastic action when your mom is crazy.

>>38912050
This

>Drunk mother barges into my room at 3am on a school night
>asks to use my phone because she smashed hers with a hammer
>Yell at her to get the fuck out of my room and to stop fucking breaking shit.
>she leaves and lets me finish sleeping

It's the only way friends, they'll manipulate weakness no matter who you are.

>>38912089

That sounds too much like my mother.
>Baring into my room in the middle of the night
>Waking me up screaming
>Asking me for crazy shit because she can't take responsibility for herself

How common is it for people here to have mothers like this?

>>38911357
Sorry for existing and I won't have kids

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>>38911162
>>38911357
>>38911915
>>38911970
>>38911977

don't ever use that phrase again

>>38912063
You are a beta faggot and she knows this. As a BPD person, we control EVERYTHING! No joke, we know exactly what we are doing and we know what works and doesn't. As soon as I started showing my violent side to my BPD mother she stopped the annoying shit. However she was smart and new I had attachment issues as a kid and so ignores me all the time, but now this suits me, so I intentionally ignore her too. Our relationship is a game of chess and the hallway between our bedrooms is the board. It's great.

>>38912050
>tfw playing street fighter 2 with my friend
>he's beating me
>mom walks in with my laundry
>asks me if i'm winning
>throw my control at the tv and punch my friend in the arm
>turn around and shove my mom backwards
>she falls into my desk next to my bed and hits her head hard
>gets a concussion
>dad blames me for it and not his bitch wife

Best part? After that all I had to do was pretend I was going to hit her and she'd flinch and cower. Fucking dumb cunt.

>>38912089
I moved out about two years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made for the both of us. After about a year my mother called me and told me she's sorry for ruining my childhood, I told her that it wasn't okay but that I could forgive her. Since then she's worked on stopping drinking and we've been working with her to get better, so far she's almost 160 days sober. Space has helped, but I still got some pretty bad trust issues and I sleep with my bedroom door locked. Having someone that you trust as much as a mother do that sort of thing fucks a person up sometimes. You're not the only one that's gone through this Anon, the shit sucks for everyone involved.

>>38912165

>However she was smart and new I had attachment issues as a kid and so ignores me all the time, but now this suits me, so I intentionally ignore her too. Our relationship is a game of chess and the hallway between our bedrooms is the board. It's great.

Surely you can see that this isn't a normal or ok way to live? I do not want to live like this.

>>38912205
You've got no choice, bucko. Nut up or shut up. Where do you live, I'm going to enjoy hearing about the mother who suffocated her own child to death and killed herself. I might even post the story to feminist websites and be sympathetic of her BPD, they'd probably be sympathetic too.

>>38912178
You dont do this to your mother

>>38912251
No, I hung out with my mom yesterday and gave her a neck massage while she microwaved me salisbury steakems.

>>38912268
>salisbury steakems
Nice.

>>38912244
>>38912205
Ah shit, I feel bad for typing that Anon, which is honestly a weird feeling, empathy but I knew where you are in your life and your reluctance to help you self put me back in that place and it really fucked me off. I suppose this isn't empathy though since I have no reason to care about you because you are just another anon but for my own conscience.

>>38911357
bingo, this right here
she divorced my dead so i used that to just get the fuck outta there and go live with him, was a dirty ass court battle but i finally escaped

>>38912165
>it's great
>>38912244
>all this autism roleplaying shit
man you really are a sick fuck, when are we going to go back to just sedating all the crazies

>>38912306

Uh, for normal people empathy is not a weird feeling. Empathy is part of being a normal, regular functioning human being.

Are BPD's incapable of empathy? This is not meant as a dig. But do you, as someone with BPD find it that difficult to see why people would feel or think that this behaviour is not acceptable?

Mid 40s oldfag here, mother was narcissistic bpd; father had issues from being adopted. Both were abusive. Cut mother and her entire family out of my life 15+ years ago. Still figuring my life out, it's a mess.

>>38912429

How are you coping since cutting your mother and her family out?
Was there a final straw or event that made you cut your mother off or was it just everything that made you decide to do it one day?

>>38912429
damn mid 40s on r9k thats pretty cool, i thought this board was just a bunch of underages whining about prom dates these days

>>38912205
Well, I assumed he was a child and had no choice but to play that game. But he's probably an adult and doesn't actually have a reason to be there anymore so you might have point.

>>38911357

Pretty much this.My mom has BPD as well and I should have moved out a lot sooner than I did. You can't live with someone like that, it's just a neverending nightmare.

If you're still living at home with someone like that you have to make moving out a top priority in your life. There is no other way to fix this.

At this point in time I can actually visit my parents every couple of weeks and we have a relatively good relationship.

>>38912451
Mother came from a large ethnic family dominated by similar women; they supported her in every instance. I tried maintaining selective relationships, but they'd gang up on me. I'm better off without them, but sucks having no family at this age.
Final straw was when she physically attacked my much younger brother.

>>38912358
Oh I'm just a sociopath, Its great. Again, I didn't actually feel empathy I was just trying to make you think like me which is fucked because I literally have no reason to care about you and also if you get violent with a BPD you are either gonna get a sobbing mess or killed. More likely killed

>>38911357
(You) said it best.

>>38911162
>tfw mom isn't BPD just kinda dumb
Feels ok...?

Does your mother actually have BPD or is she just a bitch. Just because she is having a hard time dealing with stress doesn't give her the right to have destructive behavior.

If she Does have BPD she needs to see a therapist and take medication. A mental Illness is no excuse to treat others around you poorly.

Do you have a relative you can talk to about your mother?

>>38911162
had a mother who had BPD. the fucked up thing is that I didn't know she was bi-polar until after she died. seriously. I had no idea why she was such a raging drunk all the time. literally would come home and she'd be passed out or would be in a stupor and would talk to me about god or some shit. she did clean up after a while but what was really depressing is that everyone ditched her except me and my brother and her most immediate family. on her birthdays she would be alone and she would drink then she'd stop. fuck that. god bless her soul. I know she rests in heaven.

>>38912720

Unfortunately there's no one to talk to. I don't live at home anymore but she lashes out at her partner. It's just tiring to still be getting phone calls years later saying she's in hospital for another suicide attempt or she's smashed up the house again.
Every time I get a call I just immediately get anxious and all the memories of what she's done comes back to me.
She has medication but when she's in a crazy phase she refuse to take it.
What angers me is once the police get called and turn up she is totally calm and she is also calm at her job. So she can choose when to rage and lash out. I think she just uses her illness as an excuse.

>mom's super cool kind and intelligent
>makes a great income and buys me nice things

I grew up well adjusted and happy. Feels amazing man.

Hope you guys all live the life you want as well.

>>38911162
Nope, but I have a heroin addicted older sister with BPD. Probably the most toxic person I'v ever met. Glad I moved out before she moved back I can't deal with her shit anymore.

>>38912806

What has your sister done to be toxic to you?

>>38912812
Yes do tell anon.

Did she rape you? Catch you in her panties and black mail you? (Please say yes)

>>38912748
I know you love your mother but, if she isn't supporting you financially or emotionally maybe It's time for you to emotionally distance yourself from her. To live a healthy happy life you need to surround yourself with people who will uplift you, not bring you down.

>>38911162
My mom has BPD with Psychotic delusions. Most of the time she would just hide in her room and sleep all day. Or she would be found in some mall almost drinking herself to death. She also made fun of me in front of my friends while drunk. She ended up in a closed psych ward, but came out after a few years and now she has the right medication and is fairly normal and very nice.

I'm on the same boat. She is agressive, impulsive, childish and irresponsible. My father is a puppet. They're both children in adult bodies and not only are they unable to take care of their own lives, they have to go and ruin mine too.
My suffering will end soon enough, hopefully.

>>38912947

>children in adult bodies
This is what makes people with BPD so dangerous. They have the emotional maturity of children but the capacity for violence ans aggression with the strength of adults. It is terrifying being a child when a parent has BPD and goes beserk.

>My suffering will end soon enough, hopefully.

What did he mean by this?

>>38912947
Hopefully the suffering ends and the joyous release of freedom entails

My mom has done to me what she's done to every man she's ever been near, especially my dad he got the worst of it, I'm just like him so I already know I would gravitate towards the same kind of manipulating and satanic women he did because I'm an emotional weakling. I swear she doesn't have the ability to feel love or any real honest human emotions, she's just an empty and manipulative demon that up until very recently I thought I could love like everyone else loves their mother. But when they got the borderline disease it's impossible and I'm glad we'll never see each other again. However, give me a damn mommy gf already

>>38912812
>heroin addicted
Do I really need to explain any further? Most of her life she's emotionally manipulated, blackmailed,lied, and stolen from me and my parents. She's a fucking brat who doesn't appreciate anything, and always wants more. She does whatever she wants and never takes no for answer regardless of who else gets hurt.

All through my childhood she would try really hard to prove to my parents that she was the better child, and made everything competition and bragged about everything she did better than me. She would relentlessly bully me and break me down emotionally so bad, and if I retaliated back she would always proclaim I was some sort of psycho that I was the one with issues not her.

Shes gotten better over the years, but she really doesn't understand what she's done to me, and still does it to a certain extent. I can't shake the feeling that she wants me to get arrested for hitting her, or become a drug addict like her. It's like she doesn't want me to be happy

>>38912984
>What did he mean by this?
Didn't mean anything creepy, I'm going away from them soon. I'll finally have the chance to be my own person and get myself together.
>>38912996
Thank you. They're not making it easy though, for example by stealing my money and trying to drown me in debt.

>53% of boys with with gender identity issues have mothers with borderline issues
https://autogynephiliatruth.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/marantz-1991.pdf

My gf is borderline, what do I do

>>38911864
this is a terrible idea. BPD people are experts at playing the victim role. if you show aggression or signs of mental instability yourself they'll use it to turn everyone against you.
t. someone who did just that