anyone here done long distance? does it last? is it worth it?

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it's not worth it op. You'll be "in love" for several months, and then one day she'll grow distant, and you'll be left wondering what you did wrong.

Many times.
It falls apart usually - I've only been on the recieving end of dumps, and they're usually pretty vague about why.
So far, though, I have one that's actually working very well, we've met twice in person now, been together for years. All it takes is the right person anon, don't give up hope.

>>38904570
one of the worst experiences i've ever had. avoid it.

>>38904570
No it does not ever last, no it is not worth it

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>>38904678
i got someone right now, we have meet a 3 times irl and been together for closed to 2yrs but everything feels like shit once its back to long distance.
she is always busy and when we talk, its mostly me talking and then just silence. rinse repeat. its been like this since we started and right now her life is way better than before, more friends, going out a lot, etc.
feel like theres no space for me in her life.
what do i do?

>>38904794
if she's "too busy" to respond to your messages she's already moved on. I'd cut ties just to retain my dignity. good luck anon

>>38904794
That's the nature of it, it's hard as hell my man.
I really know how you feel, especially with the second part on how your girl is doing better than you and you feel like shit, I'm in the same spot, although my partner is a little better at talking to me and stuff.
I'd say overall you're doing well so far, but you definitely want to talk to your GF about how you feel and see if she can make some minor changes to help you feel welcome in her life.
At the end of the day, it really does take 2 people, so you both have to work for it.
Good luck anon, I hope you make it

>>38904857
she replies to my messages, and we are on a phone call every other day. just doing nothing. mostly silence. it drives me nut. i havent talk to a person irl for a bit over a month, its pathetic.

Doesn't work if you can't meet them in a short period of time. I've been in a few, and just broke up with a girl I've been in a ldr with on Thursday.

It's hell, you'll "fall in love" like the one anon said, then it'll fall apart. Fell "in love" with this one girl, the fact that you can't touch her or be with her is the pain.

>>38904940
I'll be real with you anon - I'm >>38904875
And it seems like the problem here could be your living situation, not your relationship.
Why not try making some small, positive changes in your life instead? Like going for a walk everyday, or something similar.

>>38904940
Reminds me of the girl I was with. She was so estactic about me "dating" her; then when I told her that just texting each other doesn't feel like dating, and that we should be friends, she goes postal on me. Women man I tell you what

>>38904940
do you still love her? Do you think she still does?

>>38904875
thank you.
do you have any advice for talking about serious topic when you have an anxious/depressed gf?
she already knows how i feel, its been an on going problem that has gotten worse. but whenever we actually talk about it is mostly be telling her what i think, then silence, then crying, then not talking for a couple of days, then rinse repeat.
she just beat herself over for it, says how sorry she is and that she is an awful gf, but nothing changes. she doesnt talk at all with me or tells me how she feels, how her day was, her plans for the evening, nothing.

>>38904989
i recently move in and will be having 2 new roomates (forcing myself to get out of my conform zone)
i live in a small town and dont own a car, so going to campus/store/ anything, i have to walk.
i have try just walking for the cardio but i just end up panicking before stepping outside.
i really am trying, she says she feels hopeless about how depress i am, since she thought dating would make it go away.
is she giving up on me ?

>>38905041
I think the best thing you could do in your situation is to just be honest and tell her what you want, like how you posted you want to hear about her day was, or her evening plans. It can be hard to tell what your partner wants unless they're telling you it literally. You could help her make a habit of texting you something small at the same time of day about her day for example, because you said she's busy.

>>38905094
That first part sounds good, you just have to force yourself outside and do things you don't like, at that point it's your will to do something versus your will to stay comfortable. If you're having trouble doing stuff like this, hyping yourself up with music can help, maybe meditating to help your discipline.
That bottom part about how hopeless she is isn't really a good sign though, I think you gotta try even harder anon, I believe in you though

it doesn't work

What can a woman offer you besides physical comforts? They can't converse or relate with you as well as any male can. You'll be reduced to one of many sources of entertainment for her while getting nothing in return

Don't do it, man. It really is not worth it. If you're anything like me, it won't last long; you'll get really attached; and it will end with you being sad for a long time. Stay local!

I don't know if I'm weak or lazy or both, but every long distance endeavor ends in complete dissatisfaction - I always grow to despise the girl and I can never be enough. I hate long distance, and I sort of refuse to do it at this point, but again, that may be just me. Nothing beats having someone in front of you.

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Been there, done it. I've seen it work in my family, so I'm guilty of trying it. First time blew up in my face but she was a raging feminist.
Second time, well we had known each other for a while for couple of years before we started dating. Funny enough, we started dating about a year after the ldr with a feminist (she also knew of her). We've been together for a few years now, she moved here and now we live together. Been over a year living together. Have a puppy and a nice apartment.
It works but you gotta find the right girl.
>Inb4 normie
I've been here since 2008 cock suckers

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>>38904570
Yes, no, and no.
originally`

>>38905254
that sounds like a dream come true, we both don't want kids and have vaguely talk about buying an apt and dog together.
ill talk to her tomorrow when she is free, i really want to make this work.
we also have a 5hr time difference, and i wont be able to see her until next year. ill try my best to keep her, i just wish everything was easier.

>>38905168
Women tend to offer men much more than just physical interaction. You just have to find the one that stimulates the other parts and coalesce together. Men don't exist to entertain the women. The man generally finds a woman to have a sanction of his own, someone to hear his child as well as his heart. All pieces must be in order for that to be obtained, and I have had my fair share of long distance mess ups it hurts, very much. The thing it seems people like you need to learn is hope anon.

My mom was in a long distance relationship with a guy for 3 years. He lives across the country and she visited every few months. Last year she moved there to be with him and they're still going.

the first time she ignores you for a day or so and says
>sorry was busy
or
>tired
drop it and move on

make sure you get something out of it before all this. pics/vids/voice sex etc.

>>38905329
It's a lot of work. We would text a lot during the day, and at least try to speak on the phone at every night. Skype usually on the weekends. I'd visit her, she'd visit me. It's a lot of give and take, there were times I thought that things were going to end due to insecurities on both of our ends. If she gives a damn about you, then you need to give a damn about her. They are never easy to do but if done right they do work out. Best of luck to you.

>>38904570
idk what to do
i told him im in love with him but hes too scared to begin a new thing with me (his last ex was a maniac manslut) i wish i could visit him but he lives with his parents and im too scared to ask

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>>38904570
Yes, no, no
Despite me saying this I still try because I'm pathetic

Only if you meet IRL within the first year. No, 6 months. Or the spark will die.

yes, no, but yes. i met the best person i've ever known online. if you're reading this, i still love you and think about you daily.

>>38904666
100 percent this my man

>>38905786
does your name start with an N? Longshot I guess

>>38905786
thanks anon

someone love me pls and post it here

If it were long distance it'd be 5 years. She messaged me back when I told her about my near-death experience. No one else cares really lol.

One huge factor to consider is how social she is vs how social you are or in general how much she got going on for her. If she is far more productive than you then you should reconsider this (you'd have much more free time, think about her more, miss her more) while she could be doing better (i.e an active person who is near her). Questions to think about, Why long distance? is it because you are out of options? are you able to maintain your and her interest?
The only time I would advise a long distance relationship is if you are already committed with that person and have to be a part for a temporary period of time (temp contract, going to get a masters.. etc)

Yes.
No.
No.

I'm kinda scared cause my wonderful wonderful BF is going away to school for 9 months and we won't get to see each other except for some weekends and it's gonna be really rough and I'm scared he's gonna meet some other more attractive woman while he's away and develop feelings for her. Fuck I wish I wasn't ugly.

Didn't last and wasn't worth it

The worst part is slowly realizing you are both changing into different people and growing emotionally distant to each other, especially when you do long distance over the course of a year or more. Then you try to save the relationship by talking more or hanging out more but it only seems to make things worse and then you break up and probably won't ever see her again because you had no reason to travel so far except for her.

>>38904570
Nope
Don't do it
avoid it at alI costs

>>38905919
Are you M or F Anon?

>>38904570
I knew a girl for six years. We 'dated' after four. It wasn't her who began to grow distant. It was me.
It's not worth it.

>>38904570
Not worth it but recently I have a good feeling it'll last for a very long time.

He's ... quite older than me but, despite our age gap we have similar opinions and have intellectual conversations.
Also seems to be very loyal and clingy, which I find cute. I'm glad he's willing to wait for me. He'll be visiting me around February.

ONLY worth it if it's only for a certain amount of time (they have to travel for work for a few months or whatever), this open-ended long distance shit where you're hundreds of miles away with no concrete plan to ever hang out is dumb. Only children/young people think this shit works because they haven't had the shit beaten out of them by life...yet.

A real relationship *requires* physical proximity. You don't know this person, you only know what they want you to know through text/phone calls. You can hide parts of yourself in person too of course, but not nearly on the level of only knowing someone through their written words.

TL;DR they're a fucking joke and you're a delusional child if you think yours will be the one that breaks that trend.

>>38904570
yeah it's not too bad, we've been (kinda seriously) dating for a year and a half now
met up a few times and the "build-up" was worth it
can't really recommend it if you can't do without being very physical because the distance is a bitch (I'm from Eastern Europoor, she's from HK)

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>>38904570
It's not worth it.

I've been in three. None of them worked out due to some reason or another. I got cucked by my first online ex. The second time, I wasn't able to be on enough to maintain it, and I was going through so many problems it fell apart completely. The third one just drifted away.

It leaves holes in your heart, no matter how much you convince yourself it's just fake. It always hurts. And it will never truly satiate the desire for a relationship the same way a real, physical relationship does. You're better off not falling for the meme, man.