MADLAD

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The greentexts will , hopefully,highlight my best MADLAD moments in a chronological order
>aged around 12 or so
>Basically the class clown, the guy who sort of just exists and everyone acknowledges once in a while
>have to shit real bad, middle of science class
>Teacher was hot I still remember her
>Talking to friend, another MADLAD about how I'd love to rape the teacher with my solid 4 incher
>Teacher probably hears us or sees us talking, tells us to stand on the desks we were sitting on
>oh no bitch you don't
>As we're standing, I feel the beast rumble and roar
>Tell the lads there's gonna be hell
>Ask teacher to go to the toilets, she refuses, of fucking course she refuss
>Tell her it's an emergency
>bitch isn't buying it, thinks I'm just trying to pass the time in toilets
>Too late
>Step down from the desk, everyone is looking at me now
>Slide down pants and shit on the floor
>Run outside the class screaming "told you it was an emergency"
>Everyone is disgusted and laughing their sides off
>Suspended for a week until my dad makes up some story about how it isn't my fault and I actually have a digestive disorder or some shit
>Absolute madman, my dad
>Go back after a week and welcomed as a hero to the class, known as the "guy who shat on teacher's table" even though i shat on the floor
>also got a free pass to excuse myself to the toilets whenever I want because of the "digestive disorder" my dad made up
MADLAD
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>>38896389
this is high quality banter, when this will be capped include me in the screencap plz

also traps are gay

Keep em coming lad I love shit like this
oroginal

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>aged around 15
>On a school trip thing
>there's this shithead douche lesser chad, or a brad, if you will
>Kinda guy who insults others to climb to social ladder
>Nobody bullies me because I'm a weird fuck and a MADLAD,they just acknowledge me as a classmate and a mutual friend thing
>everyone's tired of Brad's boring and cheap hjinks
>brad finally falls asleep
>Yours truly walks up to his bed ,a classmate's phone in hand(nokia 5130 with 3mb porn in it)
>start jacking it near Brad's bed with porn playing
>Every other lad gathers around me, aware that MADLAD is up to something
>Actually I'm just jacking it to Brad's sleeping face, thinking how vulnerable and feminized state he is in
>Everyone else thinks I'm jerking it to that pixely shitty 3gp porn playing in phone
>Cum sort of dribbles on Brad's face, on his lips and his cheeks
>Everyone goes to sleep, class fags go back to jerking each other off lmao fags
>In the morning everyone ridicules brad because he "drooled" all over his face in his sleep
>Brad is none the wiser
>Later that year everyone called brad a cum guzzling fag
>Now realise that was hella gay but still it was
MADLAD
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>>38896645
Sounds kinda gay desu
no hhomo

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Now , the greentexts might give you the impression that I am simply a mentally retarded kid, but the truth is I am a person who just didn't care. I had to transfer schools every 2-3 years, so why the fuck would I want friends ? All I had was the invisible, non-spoken silent bond, the agreement that I was the class clown, and everyone liked my acts. Not to mention I was also the top student, which usually let me off the hook many times. Now to continue
>Age 16, chilling by the train tracks, putting huge rocks on the rails in hopes of derailment
>this qt woman in her 20s runs by me
>Later walk a little further and find the woman dead on the tracks, legs and part of her head cut off,real messy
>everything else is still intact, wonder if the body is still warm or something
>Get the idea of fingering her necro vag
>As I'm devicing a good strategy to reach her vag without touching the mess of her limbs and head, a group of people come and call the cops
>I'm excused because just a kid, tell cops I was walking by when i saw the "horrifying" corpse
>Go home and masturbate feverishly
>Feel kinda bad but the images of pale lifeless corpse fill my head with lust
>Next day i go to school to find out that woman was older sister of brad, the guy in thw above-mentioned greentext
> Feel really bad for the guy and give him my packet of potato chips
>Later find out his sister had some boyfriend troubles, mainly she wemt black and couldn't come back
>Also brad had raped some poor girl earlier but I just couldn't see Brad's face, that of a broken, defeated man who lost his sister to some inane crap
Not MADLAD but brad needed closure