How do I make myself sick enough to not go into work? I have an hour

>>38892743
You lie on the phone with your employer. You aren't going outside anyway, so why worry about getting caught?

fake mental illness

Stick your head under cold water for six minutes.

>>38892800
What will that do?
originall

>>38892800
Wut, I take 10 minute+ cold showers and I never get sick.

Unless you're telling him to drown himself.

>>38892743
Always heard toothpaste would make you sick for the whole day. Dunno how true it is though.

>>38892884
What do you mean toothpaste? Doing what with it?

>>38892920
Brushing your teeth with it. I never wanted to take a chance, so I wouldn't know if it actually makes you sick or not.

>>38892987
No people brush all the time it dosen't make you sick.`

>>38892920
Should've clarified. Eating it makes you sick. Won't matter in the end though. Shekelberg will know that you did something to stay out of work, fake illness or not.

>>38892743
A glass of water with 3+ teaspoons of salt in it can make you vomit in 20-30 minutes. Either vomit on video call or just drink it in the car, show up to work as usual, hurl into the trash when people are looking, and go home.

>>38893109
It's more to keep my parents from getting mad. They forced me to get this job.

Why not just lie you fucking faggot?

>>38893216
They will know too. They'll know because it's Sunday afternoon (or morning or evening wherever you're from) and that is just too coincidental. You're stuck.

Eat raw chikn and let sam-on-nella take it's course

>>38893216
Literally just do>>38893194
then. They will fucking see you vomit and then what the fuck can they say?

>>38893371
This is better than my solution, but I am sure his superiors and parents will be suspicious. It's just too coincidental right after the weekend to get sick.

>>38893486
I dont have days off on the weekend it was Wednesday and thursday

>>38893194
How true is this??

Origanio

>>38892743
Eat a raw chicken breast