"Girls will practically be chasing you when you have a job;

So women are basically financial parasytes? Thank you for telling me that dad, now I'll know to avoid them like the plague.

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>>38887373
"Champ, you are going to meet a nice girl with whom you'll raise a family someday. Being a father is a part of growing up, like getting a job. And the best way to do that is to show up in person, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38887126
>that coffee pepe
Top leek

>>38887457
Will a firm handshake guarantee me a nice girlfriend?

>>38887126
tfw no handshaking actually good caring dad

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>>38887554
"A firm handshake will guarantee that you get hired, Champ. And you'll meet a lot of girls when you start working, Champ. I remember when I met your mother at the school dance. That was after I had caught the game-winning touchdown with all those college scouts in attendance and -- well, that doesn't really help you much, does it? Anyway, just show up in person, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Can't get any easier than that, Champ."

>>38887637
Not to tell you how to make your own meme or anything, but you over-emphasize the use of the word "Champ".

>>38887126

If you don't have a degree in a useful field is it really your dad's fault that things were a little easier back then?

I've been employed since leaving uni, I earn more than the national average and I'm 23.

Maybe you faggots should have worked harder in school.

>>38887701
Once, during a company-wide conference, I was paired with a boomer who repeated my first name before and after every sentence he spoke and insisted I do the same for him. He claimed he had read it in a book and that "it was the way people should talk."

I had another name for him in mind, and it certainly wasn't the one he wanted.

>>38887126
This is a straight up lie. I am in the military and still am khv

>>38887126
Dad, how am I supposed to give the manager a firm handshake if I don't have any arms?

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>>38887978
"Champ, you could either sit there and make excuses about how you can't get a job because you've got no hands with which to shake hands, or you can be a man and get a job. And all you need to do is show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Four simple steps, Champ! I didn't raise a quitter."

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>>38887457
"Son, you're going to walk up to the girl of your dreams in your best suit and give her a firm pussy grab. You're going to grab her pussy until she wants your baby dick, and I'm not going to let you whine and complain and balk because of some sex offenders registry or rape charge against your name."

>>38887978
to be fair if someone with no hands gave me a handshake i would hire him.
That guy will do the impossible

>>38888119
Sometimes, they'll even let you do it. Right, Presidad?

>>38887126
Dad, I've been consulting for nearly a decade now.
Have you gone senile, Dad? Is it time to put you in a home?

>>38887126
Stopped listening after you mentioned girls. You look like a fag yourself with that gay little white head of hair. don't you dare lecture me about heterosexual relationships or I will break you old man, you simply do not have the muscles to hold me back in my prime. Now go make me tendies or I'm emailing your boss an offensive resignation letter from your address.

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>>38888183
"For the last time, Champ: Posting on that message board doesn't count. Luckily, there's nothing about you that a hard day's work can't cure. I'm drive around town to look for a real job, and we're not turning around until someone hires you right on the spot. Remember to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Fair enough, Champ?"

>>38888186
This, to be completeIy honest.

i read the entire dadpost every time even though i almost know it off by heart now

But dad, its sunday! everything is closed!

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They work for the mercenary: The firm handshaker...

>>38888218
Sure, Dad. I'll tell the "manager" that he's "taking on a real winner."
It's time for your meds, Dad.

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>>38888237
"Champ, you could either sit there and make up all the excuses in the world, or you can man up and dig yourself out of unemployment. And the first step to doing that is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Where there's a will, there's a way, Champ!"

>>38888346
idk where the manager lives dad!
plus he wouldnt want people to got to his house for jobs!

>>38888136
"Absolutely son. Just remember that you need to be filthy fucking rich, and for that you need to get a job by giving the manager a firm handshake, champ."

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>>38888386
"Get in the car, Slugger."

>>38888603
>Slugger
Slugger - A slang term used to tell someone to chill the hell out in a humorous way.
ok dad

>>38887843
I believe this comes from 'how to win friends and influence people'

>>38887637
The pool boy must've given mom a real firm handshake then.

I love this meme and it's quite motivational not like the rest of the board

How did the one about an internally firm handshake go?

fuck off dad i never even loved you.

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>>38889214
"Thanks, Champ. There's nothing a little confidence, elbow grease, and a lotta firm handshake can't solve."

>>38889331
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame someone else for everything that's gone wrong in your life, or you can man up and get a job. And the only way to do that is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Four simple steps! How hard could that be, Champ?! I didn't raise a quitter."

>>38889405
H-hey dad, I got a job! It's at the airport, and it pays pretty well! I guess that a firm handshake is all it really takes. Thanks dad, you're the best.

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>>38889538
FIRM HANDSHAKER'S IN THE HOUSE TODAY
CONGRATS, CHAMP, YOU BE A-OKAY

Hey dad, I met a girl, and I think we're getting pretty serious! You might have grandchildren soon. Did I make you proud?

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>>38889723
*shakes hand*

Great job, Champ. Great job.

>>38889723
So long as you're not degenerates and raise your kids properly, I'm overjoyed.

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>>38889563
Hey champ lets go with the firm handshake, show your old dad what a grip you got on you.

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>>38888119
Made me Kek, saved

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>>38887126
>Girls will practically be chasing you when you have a job; they want someone who'll provide for them.
>>38887457
>you are going to meet a nice girl with whom you'll raise a family someday.

I believed this.
God my life is so empty.

>>38888119
Dad, why did you become retarded all of the sudden?

>>38887126
Give me a firm handjob, dad.

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Your dad is no punk. He straight juggalo. Shaken da hands real firm like. Smoke that bleezie and no coughin like a little bitch Champ make your dad proud. Later we'll go have a Faygo and some taco bell.

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>>38889873
"It wouldn't be if you got a job, Champ. I'll drive you around to look for one, and we're not turning around until someone hires you right on the spot. It's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you're the right man for the job. Go get 'em, kiddo."

>>38890282
But Dad, I've had a job for 8 years.

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>>38890379
If I've said this once, I've said it a million times: Posting on the Internet doesn't count, Champ. Come on. I'll drive you around town to look for a real job. Remember what I said about showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38890403
>>38890282
>>38890178
i love ur edits and posts dad, say, what the hell is your job?

>>38888888
big get habbening

>>38890475
I have a degree in Information network technology.
But sadly i'm a utility pole surveyor.
We engineer wood poles whenever a new communication company wants to attach lines. the power company makes them go through my company.

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>>38890894
And actually only JuggaDad and Top Gun were mine. forgot to get the nose so here ya go.
Been using photoshop for appx 20 years so pretty good at it.

>>38887126
>Girls will practically be chasing you when you have a job
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHABSBSBABABABBABSBSJSJNDNCNDNDNDKJDNNDKXKSKS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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sometimes I wish I had a traditional dad like that. who likes spending time in his garage, drinking a beer or two, fixing the sink. never had a strong father figure in my life like that. I still love my dad, I just wish he'd taught me some generic father-and-son stuff. we never had those talks, we never did anything "manly". can't blame him though, he is who he is. a bit of an awkward guy, shy, mom was his first girlfriend. I guess it's like if you removed the bitterness and angst from the average r9k user, you'd get my dad - just a genuine modest guy, who doesn't want to stand out.

>>38890953
sorry anon but garbage collector aint real job

>>38890953
Yeah, it makes you eligible but doesn't remove the need to put effort in it. Barely nothing will do that.

>>38892935
GARBAGE COLLECTOR IS A REAL JOB U DUMBASS

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"Champ, let's head out for a Big Mac and shakes. I know it was tough for you to get out of your comfort zone and apply for some jobs in-person, so I figured you could use a break. And since we're here, you might as well ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work here. Simple as that, Champ."

>>38887843
I'd call him Mr. Melon. Maybe in 10 year it'd hit him: Dale => Carnegie => Mellon => Melon

>>38887126
I already told you dad, I'm gay. Also, I broke the manager's hand last time we did this.

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>>38894159
It's therapy, then...

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"They are not my character references..."

>>38887126
What if the manager is a woman

>>38887126
>Girls will practically be chasing you when you have a job

>25
>make around $1000 where the minimum wage is $150 and average wage is $250. Minister (government) make around $1400 here.
>no gf
>virgin

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>>38894985
"Excuses are for quitters, and I didn't raise my Champ to be a quitter. Now you march back in there, speak with the manager, give HIM a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. If that doesn't work, we'll try somewhere else. What've you got to lose, Champ?"

I don't know what you are talking about
>last year I had 49,000
Now I am -8,000 in debt.....
all this trying to chase pussy on Plenty of fish.

>>38888518
But Dad, you are the manager!

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>>38887126
>they want someone who'll provide for them
fuck off, I'm not a beta provider!

But Dad, my robot arms crush other people's hands

>>38887126
Do peoples dads actually act like this? My dad is a dropout loser just like and tries to motivate me by telling me not to end up like him.

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>>38895095
"Great going, Champ! That shows them that you mean business."

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>>38890178
>tfw no juggalo dad growing up to mold me into a straight-up G whom don't take no shit from nobody n sheeit

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>>38893939
>And since we're here, you might as well ask to speak with the manager.

Fucking lmao'd audibly.

>>38888603
I lost my shit at this.

>"Get in the robot, Shinji."
>"Just walk up to that angel and slap his shit."

>>38887126
>only if you come and watch from behind
Shuts them down every time

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>>38895061
"Champ, finding work is a part of growing up -- and you'll never grow up if I have to find work for you. It's better if you found a job on your own, and it's as simple as showing up in-person, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. You kids have it so easy these days."

>>38895095
That might be a problem with the hydraulic pistons

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>>38887826

Stop acting like a fucking normie, you're the exception to the rule.

People who worked their asses off in school, did internships, majored in stem, etc. are still on shit jobs because there are more qualified people than jobs. It's why underemployment is a thing.

Because normies suddenly decided "Hur dur everyone should go to college for le college experience". And that doesn't even take into account the burden of debts.