What's the most autistic thing you've ever done

That's alpha as fuck. She'll want you more now. You accidentally did the right thing

>>38885188
This hahhahahahahahaha
Anon it's tinder, all they want is a pump

>>38885188
No dude, this is bad
>On a DXM come down and don't give a fuck
>Text tinder girl and am trying to get her to fuck tonight
>She's really sweet, says she is a virgin and she kinda looks and seems like it although I don't believe it
>Manage to finally convince her to hang out with me
>Say we should watch a movie
>Okay, let's watch a movie at this theatre
>It's almost 12AM so I think she's just joking
>haha omw ok
>You're going to pay right haha
>She is even going to pay for my ticket
>20 minutes later I find out she actually went to the fucking theatre, she had her friend drive her.
We didn't even know what fucking movie we were seeing, what the actual fuck dude.
This isn't my fault. I thought we were just joking

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I kept failing with women so I gave up and started using drugs instead, which was really nice for the last 5-6 years, but now I can't use drugs anymore.

So I started talking to women again and by some miracle managed to convince a few to come over.

But after finally getting the chance to have sex with them, I couldn't get an erection, in my mid-twenties.

So now I'm just drinking and posting here instead.

>I'm just a colossal faggot.

>>38885239
DXM comedown is the best for sex.

On DXM your dick is so numb you can't even get hard. But the next day you're just desensitized enough to last an hour or more.

You might want to steal some horny goat weed from the vitamin isle at dollar general to enjoy it more though.

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>meet qt american girl in a hostel
>have the balls to talk to her at breakfast, act super suave and alpha, get her phone number
>decide to meet up in my hometown later that month when I head back and she makes a stop here before heading back home
>the day comes
>I pick her up at her hostel
>take her to a sushi restaurant
>the place has loud music playing, and we sit facing each other
>she sits on a large wooden "back" seat (I don't know what's the name for this kind of sitting place at restaurants in english)
>"The music is too loud," she says, "my butt is vibrating!"
"H-haha, just like a dildo!," I say.
>she laughs with an incredibly creeped out look, and just says "Haha yeah....", then immediately stares at the menu.
>we order (actually I order, since didn't speak much of my language)
>as soon as waiter leaves, autism kicks in
>have no idea what to say or even do
>decide to play with the chop sticks
>act as if they were drum sticks, "playing" on the table without saying anything, only looking at her grinning like an asshole
>she asks me about my country, about me, my hobbies, etc.
>tell her I'm into learning languages
>since it's a sushi joint, there are some japanese words and phrases in the walls and menus
>napkins have Napukin written on them in katakana
>mention this to her
>proceed to lecture her on the Japanese language and grammar
>somehow I end up vividly explaining her the various Japanese suicide methods
>I can see the hopelessness in her eyes
>finally the food arrives
>I ask her about herself
>as she speaks, I struggle to correctly handle the fucking sticks
>try to take a roll, but it keeps falling down before I take a bite
>she looks and politely laughs at the pathetic performance before her
>I stupidly laugh and end up stabbing the rolls
>we finish our rolls in silence

We walked back to the hostel and she hugged me when we got there, and said goodbye. The next day I texted her about how much fun I'd had, and a year later, she still hasn't replied.

>>38885595
>just like a dildo

>>38885595
She's probably still thinking about what to text you back because she's nervous about her deep romantic infatuation with you

>>38885770
>fuck this gay earth

toccata di origami

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>>38885595
oregalel

>>19281131
>at self service checkout
>attendant is chatting up teens girls (about his age) whilst bagging potatos (I guess it's the shops way of having them keep busy)
>spills the potatoes all over the floor
>whilst helping him and the girls pick them up I say "you're meant to spill spaghetti over cute girls man, not potatoes"
>yourautismisnowloading.jpg
>realise what I said
>hastily leave pulling hoodie over head

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>find decent girl on okcupid
>google her username and find her instagram
>instagram has her real name and find facebook
>she works at best buy and even lists which one
>go to best buy and aimlessly walk around looking for her
>figure I can ask her out knowing she's looking for someone and it'll seem natural and alpha
>can't find her
>visit again a few days later, same thing
>check tax records to find what kind of car she has
>audi a4
>visit again and look for audi
>can't find it
>go in store in case she parked in the back or somewhere else
>can't find her
>realize I'm the guy that walks around best buy every few days
>never return

>>38885142
Someone decided to be a pussy and block me on discord.

I created a new account and added them to my friends list just so I could send them a message telling them why they are terrible people.

Autistic as fuck but I'm happy I got the last word in.

>>38886164
>discord
gtfo originally kudasai

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>>38886235
Find me a gf like pic related first

>>38886251
Reminds me of my ex; looks and personality wise

>>38886251
That is an uggo bitch right there my friendo.

>Be 6
>Nun comes to our kindegarden and makes us paint 2 large hand drawings of some fat elf with a bag.
>finished work will be shown in church
>1 picture per 10 children
>I work on his head, paint his hat green and face purple, beard black
>Nun pulls me from table and starts screaming that i ruined it
"You dumb kid, thats not how santa looks like"
>shrug who the fuck is santa
>my teacher tells on me to my mom
Turns out my parents never told me about santa so they wouldnt have to give me xmas presents
>got my first xmas present when my brother got married and started bringing his wife over
>mfw had my first birthday party when i was 11 and had to pay for it myself

>>38887725
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." -Matthew 19:14

>>38887725
Were you raised JW by any chance?

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>>38887769
It was in poland and my parents were catholics.
It was early 90s and we were really poor.
They were just stingy with money. Probably didnt want me to feel bad that i didnt get anything like other kids i hope

>>38885462
Depends on what the cause is, but try Viagra / Sildenafil
It's quite safe as a drug

>>38887725
>>38887725
>"muh birthday parties"

i stopped getting presents at 13 and the shit i recieved before that never cost more than $10

i never had a birthday party and christmas was just depressing for everyone because we all had fuck all to eat, just like every other day

>>38885239
What. I didn't know movie theatres were open at that time.

>>38886251
Look for assitant manager / managers of retail clothing stores. They usually take their job very seriously so dont joke about it, trust me. Let my autism become your success