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Robots, I need your input on life, only a robot truly understands another robot.
>23 year old
>only son
>friendless robot
>third worldler
>no neetbux where I live so I have to work
>stressful job (Big 4 audit)
>move out at alone at 22 because parents kept telling me I'm an ungrateful shit
>start heavily drinking at 18
>start ritalin, weed and acid around 20
>at 22 I already use everyday lots of shit (weed, acid, MDMA, 2CB, cocaine, ritaline, trammies, clonazepam, DXM, dramamine, alcohol and still not enough)
>only reason I don't do heroin is because I'm too autistic to get it
>attempted suicide twice, ended up in ER in 2 consecutive weeks
>get mild psychosis from time to time because of drugs
>literally use alone locked up in my rented room every single second of my free time, crying from time to time
>some days after I turn 23 almost die of an OD
>most agonizing pain ever
>actually accepted my death
>wake up alive the following day, still with the agonizing pain
>ended up psychotic at the same time
>5 days in the psych ward in a psychotic state
>30 days in rehab
Cont next post.
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>>38878185
>try going to a psychiatrist
>she tells me that I can't stop using, tells me that I should be in a psych ward or in a long-term rehab program
>literally everyone tells me the only hope of an addict is the 12 step program
>I'm an edgy atheist robot
>try going to Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
>can't stay the whole meetings because being surrounded by Chads and Stacies makes me want to puke
>I go yesterday, a literal 21 year old spoiled Stacy crying about her vagina
>I instantly leave
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I don't have the balls to kill myself, being a drug addict is a slow and painful death. I have everyone and going to NA is hard because I literally hate everyone. I'm not going back to the psych ward again because nothing is fucking optional, if you're getting injected shit every 6 hours for 3 days and being tied up nothing will fucking change that.
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>>38878185
Fuck, are you there OP?
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>>38878263
>>38878276
Nevermind, where do you live?
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>>38878315
Panama.
Forgot to mention
>was sober for 2.5 months
>suicidal thoughts again 24/7
>back to using again
I literally do cocaine every 20 minutes plus all the other shit.
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>>38878185
You're far too gone OP, just give yourself a last high and jump off a roof or something.
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>>38878370
At least it's not Venezuela lol
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>>38878185
>>38878263
>2018-1
>being degenerate
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>>38878370
You might have better luck asking /adv/ for advice.
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>>38878263
addiction is tough and I'm lucky I'm only addicted to cigarettes. I guess the best thing to do is listen to the shrink and try to find a substitute if you can.
I know cigarettes are bad, but this is not a normal situation. Use them to get high or get nicotine gum or patches.
Continue going to NA but don't give a shit about the other normies. You are there for you. They have their own problems that don't effect you either way. Make a game out of it to see if you can find someone worse off then you and be grateful you are not them.
You will get a euphoric high from it. Also walk or some other exercise. You will also get a positive high from this. Find as many positive and acceptable/legal highs as you can to ween yourself off the drugs.
Good luck OP. You can beat this.
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>>38878263
>>38878185
Never tried any drugs so this is a question, not a suggestion. Why can't you just stop taking the drugs?
They're expensive and damaging. It seems entirely illogical to use them.
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>>38879266
because when I'm mad drunk plus the high of a benzo, an analgesic and weed it feels like an orgasm through all my body and it obviously feel better that being depressed to the point where I want to kill myself in that specific moment (which is 24/7).
Cocaine helps with my attention problems, ritalin started being harder to get.
>They're expensive and damaging. It seems entirely illogical to use them.
Yeah I literally know, addiction is more complex, the reward stimuli of an addict person works different.
I only seek instant gratification no matter what and I'm fully aware of that.
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>>38879481
Why don't you start trying to creating a healthy lifestyle?
Cut the alcohol and benzos and start going to the gym. Regular exercise has been proven to help with depression.
The drugs are just tranqs, they don't help the depression, just make you not feel it for a while, at a cost.
Thread posts: 13
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