>2 year gap in resume

> 7 year gap in resume
> the only job 7 years ago didnt even last a week

8 year gap in resume, kys.

>>38853787
Did you do anything of note during those two years?
In my experience what you do outside of work can be just as significant, if not moreso, than what you did during

>>38853960
I tried and failed to get work

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>tfw 34 year gap in resume
orig

>interviewer starts asking about the 4 month gap

What the fuck?

>>38854116
They probably want to know if you went on a bender

>>38854116
Interviewers literally expect you to be working at least 5 days a week, every week, starting the day you turn 16, to the day you die.

>>38854006
Didn't even write and high quality shitposts?

>>38854136

yet the wagie still doesn't realize they are a slave

>>38854155

If there's more than a six month gap, you're LITERALLY unhireable, even if you were in school or otherwise predisposed with other things at the time.

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>>38854116
It's even worse than I thought.r

>>38854187
Only if you spent that six months doing nothing
If you were making something, volunteering, or just doing anything that proves you weren't sitting on your ass the whole time then you're fine

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>>38853787
I was asked about that in an interview, thankfully I blamed college for it. I told them I wanted to focus on school more and take extra classes.

In reality I got laid off and couldn't find a job. Gave me more time to relax after school tbqh

> 32
> never had a job
> not even hired then fired/quit
> can't hired by now

registered pedophile can probably get a job before me. kms only option.

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>2 month gap
This nightmare ends eventually, right bros?

I've been applying for jobs for seven full months now. The first five can be explained by my spring semester of school, but now I've graduated and oh fuck.

Not getting a job by the time I graduated was like getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean, and the past two months have been me getting the shit kicked out of me at the bottom of the ocean.

The worst part is is the more times you try and fail, the less you try and so on. And it also doesn't help that fucking everyone in who does the HR screening calls is a fucking roastie cunt who rejects you if you're a little bit awkward (it's crazy how many parallels there are to dating as there is to job hunting). Now I'm applying for part time internships.

I'm pretty sure the job hunt is going to wrap up in a week or so but every time I've thought that I get three rejections (after in person interviews where I wear a suit and shit) in the same day.

A not insignificant part of me fears that I'll wind up like this guy and use my expensive degree to become a ditch digger
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x37bnvg

>>38854276
You could probably get a job at a small business, all you have to do is talk to the people around you
maybe start participating in local government

>14 year gap in resume
I don't care anymore

>4 year gap in resume
>get """IT job""" that pays 18/hr because nepotism
lol

>>38854187
Self employment and freelancing is how to fill those gaps lol

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>>38853787
>4 year gap in resume
>first thing they ask about at interviews
>I can always see they aren't buying my bullshit
>don't get job
>gap grows a little bit more
it's a fucking vicious cycle
>tfw not even call centers call back anymore

>>38854316
I quit a job I didn't like and it took me 8 months to get another one. Somehow it was actually the best one of all that I applied for, which is nice. But even after a year at the new job I'm still building back up the savings I ate through over those months. I'm not going to quit again without an offer in hand.

Look for places that closed so they can't confirm you worked there.

Or find someone you know who owns a company and claim you worked under the table, and get them to verify your story.

Lie lie lie. It's all bullshit anyway and they'll never check. If you're valuable once they hire you they won't care anyway.

>>38854100

Look if you've somehow survived 34 years without a job you don't need one.

>>38854650
Yeah, that's generally best practice. It's infinitely easier to get a job if you already have one, and it might wind up being that it's a club that I'm not invited to. I hate being forced to do this.

Congrats tho.

>>38853787
>At the top of resume it says I just finished my Uni course
>Makes it pretty fucking clear that I halted prior work to attend Uni

I've literally had employers ask me why I have a gap in my resume. Its shit like this that has made me try and become self employed.

>>38854316
>Not getting a job by the time I graduated was like getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean, and the past two months have been me getting the shit kicked out of me at the bottom of the ocean.

this sums it up perfectly

i dont know how im escaping from this

>looking for job for when I finish school
>multiple sources of work experience on my resume from assorted summer jobs
>Interviewer asks why the work placements were all fairly short
>remind her that those were summer jobs and because I was at school full time
>She barely acknowledges my response and moves on to next question
NIGGA I CAN'T BE IN EDUCATION FULL TIME WHILE BEING IN WORK FULL TIME

>>38855119
head games. you gave a standard answer bro.

>>38854316
I graduated last year and din't get a job till November
Got the "we don't think it's working out" talk two weeks ago

>>38854707
This, how have you survived dude?

This thread is exactly why this society is shit. You are practically fucked if you have any type of social issues.

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>>38854390
>no one to nepot me

It's not fair.

>>38853787
i feel like it'd be really easy to just make up jobs, im pretty sure that's what normies do with gaps they can't really explain.

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>22 and never held a job
how fucked am I?

>>38853787
>tfw decided to "volunteer" in order to avoid this
>left school two years ago
>In those two years all I have done is about a years worth of volunteering once a week somewhere in the middle
>all jobs I can apply to have mind game psycho analysis tests you have to pass to get an interview
>even if I got an interview I'd fail because of anxiety and if not that then very very poor answers which wouldn't be any good even if I prepared for them.

>>38855437
How the hell did that go

It's August and I'm already dealing with impatient parents and relatives.

This post-Graduation employment is not what The Graduate and Kicking and Screaming made it out to be

>>38856236
I'm right with you bro.

My internships were at nonprofits. Never got a paycheck in my life. I'm fucked but not beyond redemption.

I'm doing my resume right now.

How bad would it look if I lied about my GPA a bit. My GPA was like 2.0 but I put 3.0 instead.

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>>38853787
>1 year under par

>>38853787

Is this actually a big deal?
I worked an online thing back in 2014, then got a minimum wage grocery job in 2016 without any trouble and haven't done anything since then.

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>>38856409

Don't bother putting GPA on there. Nobody cares if you're not a student anymore.

Any robots need a professional reference? I'm willing to do it for steam games or like $20 after you get hired. If they don't call I won't demand anything. I have a professional + articulate voice and do my research about the line of work I'll be the reference for.

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>lost my comfy cafe job a couple months ago
>have been mostly unemployed since
>have just been cutting grass and working temp in various warehouses here and there until I get too depressed and quit
I need another comfy job, guys. I don't even want much money, just enough to pay rent and buy food. Working warehouses is fine, I just need the comfy back.
Not doing anything all day gets old quick, especially when I'm negative in the bank and need to pay bills.

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>can't even get internships because they all expect you to still be in school

HOW DO I GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WONT EVEN LET ME WORK FOR FREE

>>38856388
never even worked internships or volunteer, trve neet life.

I don't understand how every single person is meant to work for 50 years and every year of those 50 years a new crop of people get hired to work. We're at the brink of some worldwide ponzi scheme explosion when automation evaporates 50% of those useless pencil pusher "jobs".

>>38856484
Can i call you anon?

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>>38856595

N-not all the time...J-just sometimes is okay.

>>38856617
Number? Original

>>38856512
How do you get jobs cutting grass and shit? All I can find is retail positions where you have to destroy your soul and make sales. Thats if you get the job because you first have to go through the gauntlet of psychoanalytic tests.

I just wish things were simple. For pretty much the entirety of human history except the last few decades or so all entry level jobs were just 'I can do this for you if you pay me' and that was it and now I have to dance like a monkey for a slim chance of being selected from 1000 people sucking up to an employer to get a job cleaning toilets.

>>38856075
either he is memeing or the gubment pays his way for some sort of disorder or his parents do

>>38856366
Applied to a shit ton of positions. Got a few phone calls, only one interview (Should've taken it even though it was part time)
Land another interview, hour drive from home, desperate so I take it
The job fucking sucked. Shit pay, hardly any work, asshole """superiors"""
Get called in and fired because they said I lacked initiative when I hardly ever had any work in the first place
You'll get a job, don't worry, but you might have to lower your expectations
>>38856409
Don't even list it unless it's a 4.0

>>38856683

I of course won't give it out publicly here, but if you have discord then yeah.

>>38856236
20 and never had a job
can't take part time job while in uni because im double majoring. cant do summer jobs because im an international student (need a permit). parent dont allow me to work back in home country.
what do?

>>38853787
I've had a five year gap before.
I began to volunteer at a retirement home maybe once or twice every two weeks for a few months, updated my resume, started writing bullshit cover letters, and started getting interviews. You have to show them you're willing to be a slave.

>>38856721
Ohhhh i dont remeber my discord logins...

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>tfw looking for first job at 32

>>38854136
>he literally believes this
Sad

Fuck it. I'll be a ditch digger.

>>38853787
Say you travelled, sat you inherited money and took a break. People do that you know.

I'll BS to companys for you for 15 bucks or so.

I'll tell them you worked to clean my house and watched my dog and mowed my lawn and what a nice hard worker you are.

>what is lying

If you arent machiavellien enough to bend the truth and sell yourself you dont deserve the job.

>30
>dropped out of high school
>dropped out of college
>only work experience is stacking shelves in Tesco
>10 year gap in resume

Ever hear that old mantra, work to live, don't live to work. Yeah. The former is literally never going to apply to me.

Is that all my life is? I'd be living to work just so I can be poor for the benefit of someone else then have to thank them for the opportunity.

Just an economic unit of labour to be exploited till I'm dead.

I'd rather be NEET forever.

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>went to two job interviews today

>"So anon, tell us what you like to do in your freetime!"

>>38857081
Include a mild sport that's believable, say you like to read, and include something that makes you seem productive. Say you like fixing up your car or helping out with yardwork or volunteering. Sounds retarded but you're selling yourself so make it good.

>>38856827
I actually dig ditches, no joke. I'd go as far as to say it's therapeutic. I work for a small electrical company (I'm an electrician) that's too cheap to hire "laborers", aka Mexicans who dig trenches and run PVC underground to run cabling and power through. Lo and behold, me being 23, I get stuck digging and running the PVC about once a week. I actually don't mind, I've gotten incredibly fast at it. they give me a full day to dig, and I usually finish by lunch. Then I just find shade and fuck off on 4chan until my shift is over

>>38857246
so you need to be an electrician in order to be hired to dig ditches.

>25
>fat
>missed out on being young and fit, hitting up clubs in my prime

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>applying for jobs
>all of the requirements and duties are shit I've done for the past two years
>resume been checked over by people I trust
>get interviews
>don't botch them or at least not immediately
>never hear back from them

Not knowing what the issues are or what to fix is worse than just getting a no from the start and moving on.

When they aaked about my 2 year gap I said I broke my shoulder and had issues with it on and off during that time. It's a believable story. It won't work if the gap is too big, but 2 years seems right at brink of believable.

>>38854650
FIRM HANDSHAKE

originallydad

does it matter if you're in school?
I've been 'working' on my own for the last 1.5 year with no real job. Just do what I can to get by and then once school comes around I just use cost of living loans like a good goy.

What sucks is that even if you have experience, if it's shit jobs like retail or fast food, it doesn't really count. In fact, it counts against you, sort of like negative experience. If you worked 3 years at Walmart, it's the equivalent of taking 3 years off of work completely. The logic being that if you stayed in a shit job, you're stupid and shouldn't be hired.

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>>38853787
>12 year gap in my resume

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>can have exact qualifications for a job
>correct skills and duties
>relevant years and experience
>job calls for specialization in a specific setting that can only be obtained through already working in that specific field
>unable to get that specific aspect because you already don't have it

FUCKING WHY

>>38856768
You're so screwed

uhhh..just lie? employers will never know

I've worked 5 jobs so far how many should I put on my resume?

>>38858088
I would say to do this for anyone pursuing a low level job under a manager level because 90% of those interviewers will just be a generic interview format. for anons chasing careers in their specific field it's not such a good idea. but shit if you can fake it that high maybe you belong in corporate world

>>38858063
>must have experience doing IT and database stuff in the healthcare field

Fucking why? I'm not going to be a doctor. What can there be about healthcare that I can't learn in a day?

>>38854513
I work at a call center and I'd rather die than work there.

i have a four year gap. i got into a car accident. the car accident i'm still recovering from. my two friends moved away, i don't talk to them anymore.

going to the state sucks. they just talk about nothing. they don't know anything. the guy i went to suggest i make like a tray or something for when i pick up copy pepper box. i just thought if i tried picking up copy paper box i would fall on to my face. i'm on a wheelchair.

for people who have a work gap go volunteer somewhere. it will show you have somewhat work.

>>38856236
24 here, same situation.

It doesn't really matter that much, just lie on your resume

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>tfw three day gap in resume

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>people unironically want you to work for FREE
>b-but you will get experience
>"you have to get a foot in"
>"maybe they will hire you after you've worked there for a while"
>lmao the hardest jobs and physically straining jobs are minimum wage, enjoy making 10$/h because you don't have a piece of paper
Why, just why would I ever want to "work". I'd be a literal slave, working for free for a slim chance that I get hired, they don't even have to they can just tell me to fuck off. If I wanted to be a slave I'd travel down to Africa and obey my Mastah. I honestly cannot get why anyone would be a wagecuck in the year of our lord 2017.

>>38854187
>school
Not if you worked before going to school, but yeah, if you're 22-23 year old who's never had a job at all you're at a disadvantage even if you did the STEMeme

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>keep telling yourself it will all work out as you slowly get older and less desirable to hire

I can't take anymore.

>>38854316
>Now I'm applying for part time internships.
>Now

That's where you fucked up. When you turn 18 you're an adult. You don't get to have summers off to do jack shit. You were supposed to be doing internships then

>>38858125

Okay guys, this applies to all of you

RESEARCH THE JOB
TAILOR MAKE YOUR RESUME TO THE JOB
PRACTICE BULLSHIT STORIES

Nothing will end your interview faster than showing up and knowing nothing about the company, field, or job you're trying to get.

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>>38858448
I didn't get the memo until I was a junior but I did an internship then. What's done is done.

I just want a full time job, even retards and pot smokers have full time jobs.

This was pretty much me. Currently working a job that's easy as fuck but barely gives me any hours (I work at a sports stadium and work concessions). Lately I've been getting lucky and they've been calling me into work more often so instead of working once a week, I'm pretty much working like twice a week for the rest of this month.

It's not much, but eh, I'll take it just so I can earn a bit of cash and put it on my resume so I can eventually pursue better jobs.

>>38858563
What to research about company. Memorize company history and financials I don't understand or what anon I'm retarded with this stuff.

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>Robutts scurrying like roaches to find jobs after their parents cut them off, now realize they have no chance of getting hired because their poor choices

GET FUCK ROBUTTS. GET FUUUUCCKKKKKED

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>>38858563
>>38858686
All you really need is a few sentences

At my last interview I knew jack shit about the place, I just said "uhh, it's a health company?" and that was a bad look. My mom paid a lot for parking too so I really fucked up.

>>38858563
Okay but how many jobs should I put on my resume?

Also I need help writing a summary. I'm applying to a lot of jobs so I have to make it general and not specific.

>>38858686
When/where they were founded
What their primary source of business is and some of their other business ventures.

Usually one of the first questions are:
How'd you hear about us
Why do you want to work for us

Everytime they ask you a question you should have a short (2-4 minute) but very descriptive story. They will usually ask you to expand on the "strengths" you put on your resume.

Stories should be in this format: task, what you did, and what the result was.

Also, write down and memorize 5 questions you have for them because when they ask "Do you have any questions for us?" and you say "No" it makes you sound like you don't care.

Easy questions are:
- What training for the job is
- What's the job culture like
- What are opportunities for growth
etc

>>38856075
Probably by being a European?

>>38858755
>I'm applying to a lot of jobs so I have to make it general and not specific.

Again, tailor make your resume to the job. It will take all of a few seconds to change a few words or sentences before sending it off. Generic resumes get tossed.

For work experience, put everything and under every work entry, have bullet points saying what your duties at the job were and what you accomplished, but keep it short so you can expand on it when asked.

>>38858783
I put everything but I ran out of room so now my resume spills over to another page.

You're supposed to keep it one page right?

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>26
>no experience
>no references

I assume a good job is out of reach now and it's just retail or food services for me

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>>38858802
Here's an overview of my last resume.

>>38858934
>constant employment since 2012 AND certifications
gb2 LinkedIn you normie careerfag chink

>>38858992
Certifications are easy as fuck to get. If you work at any place that isn't for brain dead highschoolers, your job forces you to get certified a lot of things so you can actually do your job.

Also, LinkedIn is a wasteland now.

>>38858934
You don't put education?

>>38859020
Send me a ChinkedIn invite then

>>38859133
I dont have no edumacation thats why I went to school now

Also nobody really gives a shit about highschool when you're 24. They just assume you do and the background check they run on you shows it anyways

>>38858063
>job calls for specialization in a specific setting that can only be obtained through already working in that specific field
They were headhunting a particular person(s). You were never getting the job.

>>38859277
Do they even pit ads out for those? Seems like a waste of money. I haven't had a job interview in 5 years, I just get calls and emails every now and then from former managers and rival companies with job offers.

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>22yo
>useless degree
>only 1 internship on resume

i don't have any gaps on my resume (am still in school) but i did not use my time efficiently

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>>38853787
>tfw looking for a job
>apply an add for a call center looking for people to work on sales
>get an e-mail from them today
>job interview on Tuesday
>e-mail says "NOT FOR SALES"
what do they mean by this?

>>38856236
24 in September here
You are fucked, it's nearly impossible now.

You could always be a drug smuggler.

>>38859307
They may have to legally do so

>>38859312
It means the actual cold call telemarketing end of that business. If you get someone who does actually want to buy something you smoothly hand them off to a real salesman who gets the bigger bucks.

Being able to brings leads in for sales well can get you bumped up into the sales group.

Good luck and remember at least you're not a bum or Indian.

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>>38859343
Why did this have to happen

>>38853787
10 year gap in resume step it up nigger

My only "work" experience is working at various Internet cafes for 3 years. Now that I have a 2y and 5months gap on my resume, will I ever get a chance to get a real job?

I'm 27 and a unigrad.

>"get a job you bum"
>try to get a job
>"Fuck off we don't want you"

>>38859311
Join a club or try to get a part time internship

Good luck otherwise

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>apply for jobs
>get called for interview
>go there
>it's a group interview

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>Nineteen, going back to community college
>Never worked before
>Have one internship on resume, and busted my ass throughout high school on leading a club and doing technical work for school gigs, so I'm not completely irresponsible
>Apply for dozens of jobs in retail and restaurants that don't require experience
>Not one place offers me an interview
Just how much job experience is required to use a cash register, sell clothes or take orders? All of these jobs are supposed to give training.

>>38859501
Your resume is probably dogshit.

>>38859355
I didn't word it as good as I could on my post. The e-mail explicitely says it is not about selling stuff over phone. I assume that extends to the telemarketing group. It's a company that provides loans. Could it mean that I wouldn't be calling people, but receiving calls from people who want to get a loan? Well, I guess I'll find out next Tuesday.

>>38859020
What kind of certs?

>>38859561
There's certifications for nearly everything irl so Idk how specific you want. It's a quick and easy way to prove that you can do something and you have a nationally recognized body that backs you up on it.

>>38853787

I just lie and say I was self employed as a writer or some shit then use friends as my "client references". Works every time.

Told this to another anon. It's simple stuff, really:
Dress business casual. Shave, get a professional haircut.
Talk about customer service skills. (if you don't know what constitutes a customer service skill: https://www.helpscout.net/blog/customer-service-skills)
Speak clearly.
Before you go in, prepare some questions about the company, because in my own experience, at some point, they'll say "do you have any questions for me?"
They will definitely say "tell me about yourself." Have something prepared for this. Something that makes you sound capable.
That first handshake communicates SO MUCH. But it has to be firm, Champ. FIRM. Just like I showed you. I didn't raise a quitter.

>>38856236
19. Had one job that my brother dragged me out from because I was too chicken shit to stand up for myself.

>>38853787
Literally just say you were freelancing volunteering for the past X amount of years and your problem is sovled.
But not like it matters anyway because you'll still be competing against boomers over qualified college graduates under qualified graduates drop outs and dredges forced to get a job.

>interviewer notices 2 year gap
>asks what I've been doing
>lie badly
>asks me if I 'spend a lot of time on the internet'

Why did he ask this? How the fuck did he know?

>>38859670
Probably recognized right away that you weren't doing anything productive or social during that 2 years

>>38859642
How the fuck does that happen? Story, please.

>6 month gap in resume
>not just getting someone to lie about employing you for that time

lmao for a bunch of "smart but unmotivated" guys y'all pretty dumb

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>be me
>have job
>they'll give me a raise if I want it
>applying to two other jobs at the same time
>no formal education

you guys are the reason you are unemployed, not because of any gap in your resume. you mock the handshake meme man but you don't try shaking hands. Then you wonder why you don't get jobs.

>>38859719
>>38859731
You normies really know how to trigger someone

>>38859731
Get a job that offers tuition assistance and/or a flexible schedule to let you do your degree
Then leave them for a better job when you graduate

>>38856253
What's worse is when you ace the interview, basically get told you got the job, only to get a call from HR the next day that you aren't "qualified" for a minimum wage job where you do nothing but stack shelves.

>>38859698
My brother got me a part time office job. Thursday and Friday, leaving out everything else to fit into my college schedule. Perfect schedule.
My brother hated this job. He did not go to college so he did more time than I did.
On more than one occasion he'd try to convince me to leave with him. Just walk out and never go back.
One day at the end of the month when pay came through me an my brother noticed that our wages had been messed with.
I don't know how much my brother was left with but at the end of the month I was only left with 40 GBP.
My brother naturally used this as an excuse to just walk out and he dragged me with him. Went as far as to telling my mum that I cried, which I never did. I just wanted to speak to my superiors about this.
One year later and I have never had another job since.

>>38857081
>I like to program, and mod video games and software
>...we'll get back to you

>>38858166

SysAdmin here, it's HIPA anon. You should have at least figured that out...

I work full time and my boss who interviewed me had a raging hard on because i actually did my research into the company. Even with 1 full year of working gap he hired me that day and even gave me a slightly better position and higher pay because he wanted to lock me down

It pays to be social and chatty fellaz

>24
>mentally ill like a motherfucker
>wagekek at a dying retailer
>company is infamous for an insane turnover rate (average non-managerial employee lasts 2 months)
>management is extremely lenient with me because they know how fucked up I am, and know that they can't get any other competent people
>should have been fired dozens of times; haven't even been written up once
>job is becoming really stressful; corporate is pushing us to sell scam products to customers
>everyone I worked with and liked is starting to leave
>new employees are being transferred from other stores
>desperately want to quit
>cant find another job

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>>38859806
Nah, I have sort of given up. Didn't like school. Barely got through high school and couldn't put up with college's useless bullshit, reading shitty novels that had nothing to do with what I wanted to be. I like straightforward jobs, I don't need that bullshit.

I was in the military awhile, they handed me a gun and showed me how to use it. Most of my jobs were the same. For janitor, they gave me a putty scraper, for truck driver, they gave me some keys. They didn't waste my time charging me thousands of dollars for useless information. And as I get older, I doubt I will go back, I will probably just keep moving from town to town, alone, picking up work here and there. I have a whole laundry list of random certificates and qualifications that makes job hunting easy.

That's my advice to you losers. I know you guys lie about how you always improve yourselves sitting at home doing nothing, but if you really spend some time doing that, you can rack up a bunch of random shit. Doesn't even matter if you see a purpose for it. Tons of times jobs have popped up for me and because I had randomly spent a weekend at some boat workshop, I had the license they wanted. Most of this shit is easy. Public notaries can get qualified so easily, and the liquor store course is online and you can cheat on the test and pass it in a snap, not that you should need to, but I didn't want to read the manual so I cheated. Fucking easy anyway, don't sell alcohol to undercover cops. whoopty doo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p8oeiVDcx4

>>38859896
Don't forget about OSHA or all the other bodies the government has imposed on nearly every company that employees need to be fluent with.

>>38859943
>>38859896
I'm talking about entry level shit Obamacarefags

Somebody give me a summary for my resume. It's for a beer merchandiser position.

>tfw already started part time work at a place in my industry
>tfw will be taken on full time after I finish uni

I was getting worried I wouldn't find anything but I am relieved as shit that I made it

>>38859962
Doesn't matter, you still have to know it. I do IT for a robotics company. I never leave my office. I still had to be certified everything OSHA and do all the stupid shit that goes along with it which will never directly affect me.

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>>38853787
I've got a two year gap too. If I ever have to get a real job, I'm just going to tell them I spent that time taking care of my grandpa while he was sick, but he died recently so now I'm looking for work again.

>>38859943
That doesn't quite follow. He asked why a database administrator position would specifically require hospital experience as he isn't going to be a doctor. I said they likely require it due to HIPA compliance (You are likely managing health records). OSHA has nothing to do with his specific situation or the general situation of employers requiring experience in a specific field.

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>>38859966
I've chosen to apply for this position because it appeals to me and I think I would be a great fit at your company. I'm very familiar with the product already, and what I don't already know, I learn quickly. I am an honest, reliable, and punctual worker. Thank you for your consideration.

>>38859966
"I know all about beer, I drink it 25 hours a day, 8 days a week."

All you need is that one sentence and you're a shoo-in for the job.

>Can't get a second job to move out of my parents basement
>Flunked out of college due to depression so the only places I can work is retail and food
>Have several 1+ year long gaps in resume because I had to work to save money for community college, and then some more for a 4 year college
>Live in a liberal state so minorities always get hired before me
Fuck this gay as fuck society normies have built.

>>38859966
I do that and equal parts hate it and cam bear it. Good job for robots, though.

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>almost 30
>resume is nothing but my college degree, certs, volunteering stints, nepotism and internships that ive made to look ambiguos to hide the fact ive been practically neet apart from studying
>somehow finally get a job when im almost unemployable in the professional sense

Had to go to the bottom of the barrel. Jannies, aged care and tard wrangling. Where being a janny was the the best option.
The best part is, it will never pay enough to move out and will never lead to a better paying position.
The only job i can get is the one in which i might as well remain a neet.

>>38860066
It's way better than my current job that involved working with aggressive retards. My buddy is making good money doing it so I really wouldn't mind it. What did you put on your resume. I need help with the summary fuck.

>>38860123
>college degree
>janitor
Where tf do you live?

>>38860131
They were so desperate I didn't have to interview or submit a resume. They'd probably like to hear you're self-motivated, honest, and reliable since you'll work by yourself almost always.

>>38860152
>Where tf do you live?
I'm not him, but I can tell you already he lives in America, where your Starbucks barista has a PHD.

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>Had a phone interview for a bank
>nailed it
>get in person interview the next week
>Felt like a slam dunk of an interview
>"We'll give you a call in a few days once we Finish up interviews
>2 months later still no call or e mail

well I guess I didn't get the job?...It's okay... I didn't want to be employed anyways.

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>24 year gap in resume

helo yes this is anon am callin conserning the posishin you were advertizing. while i may have no job eckperiense or refrenses i am motavated and redy to work hard yes i can be very hard worker i grinded to 99 on lots of skils on runescape as you can see i am a very dedikated and focised worker. aditionilly while i may not have any job eckperiense i have made milions trading in runescape so as you can see i am a shrude and efective salesmen. i think i can be a mager asett to walmart so pleese let me work for you pleese my mom sayed i have to get a job befor i turn 25 or she will kick me out thank you.

>>38860231
>We'll give you a call in a few days once we Finish up interviews
Why can't they just say they are not interested in you, giving people false hopes.

>>38859487

Those are even better you get to directly show how much you stand out from the crowd.

>>38854155

Checked.

https://youtu.be/RvV3nn_de2k

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>>38860297

I know man, i'm seriously gonna kill myself the next time it happens. I'm serious, my death will be on them. I can't take it anymore.

>>38859924
Why am I not surprised that a normie is an avatarfag as wel?

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>>38860338
no you're mistaken, that's simply because I only save pictures of Asuka, and nothing else.

>>38860297
Because normies don't like hearing the truth, they like hearing things that bolster their ego.

How did you not even have a job in high school?

Jesus Christ where did you get spending money from?

>>38860402
>He spent money in high school
I know this might come as a shock to you normie, but people who don't go to parties or have friends tend to have no reason to spend any money.

>>38860152
Australia, but like the other anon suggests its likely a problem right across the west.
We all got sold the college meme when there nowhere near enough jobs for graduates.

>>38860414

What about video games and comics that sort of thing?

>never worked a day in my life
>turning 28 in a month

Theres no way I could ever look an employer in the eyes. I'd have to make up some bullshit to convince them to hire me

>>38860422
Christmas and birthday money.
>B-But muh 60 dollars games
Must suck growing up during the late 90's/early 00's.

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>>38860402

>Jesus Christ where did you get spending money from?

Spending money for what? Going out with friends? Parties? A girlfriend? Stuff like video games I'd either just pirate or ask my parents for.

>>38853787

Fill long gaps in your resume with businesses you've "worked" for that have closed or became bankrupt or shut down, or one's where the owner is recently deceased. Look at closed restaurants. Say you worked there. Give a real name but a fake tele and address. Say they left the country or on holiday. You people are on this site and have creative minds- use them. Newspapers post closed businesses all the time. Guess what, the owners tend to disappear themselves and wont be available for a reference.

>>38859924
I have a couple of certifications for a hospital job that I never got, could they help me with any low skilled job Luke shelf stocking.

LOL, where is your Neet thread now?

>>38854136
Literally had a 3 year gap and no ins questioned it

>>38854136
you know most jobs don't actually check up on the exact dates of when you worked places right? you can juke your stats quite i bit

>>38860792
If you know how to phrase it on your resume sure.

Applicable skills are the best, but random ones aren't bad if you make them sound useful.

>>38853787
Claim that you were out of the country during those years.

Insert a job that went out of business during that time.

This works just fine.

>>38860564

>Guess what, the owners tend to disappear themselves and wont be available for a reference.

This is a good thing.

Many employers will not even bother to call or check your references or info on a resume. Those employers who do will waste one phone call to check. Use a phone number on a shut down biz. It will ring and ring, no one will pick up. Employer will move on and call you in for an interview anyway.

Unless you are applying for a hi level government job, you are insane to not utilize this tried and true method.

Fake it until you make it my friends.

>>38853787
Literally just make up a shitty job to insert there in case they ask.
Dumbass.

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>tfw no resume

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>>38856693
Someone I worked at Walmart with a few years ago and I decided to post a Craigslist ad.
We had a few customers but she basically just started ignoring me. So now I have to tell one customer that my partner (with all our equipment) has quit, and ask for the pay for the four days I was there working.
Also selling a bike on Craigslist for some extra cash.

Also if anyone wants a working old pocket watch, give me your email and I'll send you some info. It's apparently a 1926 production of a 1894 model. I'll probably take $120 for it.

kill me

Just join the military. Thats what Im gonna do if things go south. I'm 20 and never had a job

>>38861525

Live in the us? Hope you have at least one person unrelated to you for every house you lived in for the last 10 years that can give a reference. Also need personal references. And get ready for the recruiter to ask what you were doing the last few years. Just join the military is a meme out nowadays.

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>work 3 years in retail
>retail experience is worthless for a resume

wow i wonder why people are giving up. whats wrong with these kids.

>>38861659
t. complete liar

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Anyone else half-assing their job search? I just want to continue living the NEET life as long as I can since it'll be the last time I'm going to have this much free time until I'm old and retired.

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>tfw been on like 10-15 interviews and had maybe one good one in my whole life

>>38861846
Yeah I'm pretty much giving up, gonna grow dope with my buddy instead. Living an honest life is bullshit, getting cucked for pennies is gay as fuck, soon as you make a few bucks Jews are digging through your wallets for what you have.

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>year gap in resume
>4 year gap in social life (with the only 3 friends I had)
>2 year gap since I last had a cellphone or a drivers license (haven't even noticed)
>year gap in sunlight (currently pale as powdery white dehydrated dogshit)

I'm great at coming up with lies to cover up all these things though. But I live in LA and I'm beyond ghostly pale. I think I'm gonna spend my last 20 bucks on a bottle of vodka instead of a haircut tomorrow and get drunk in the sun instead of going to a job interview. It'd actually probably be better for my job prospects to not be AIDs patient pale than to have shorter hair.

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>>38862016
Iktf. I had one where the team was "unanimously positive" about my interview but they haven't gotten back to me in two months

All of the Alex Jones BrainForce Plus pills in the world can't help me. I need Xanax.

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>Mum sends me job opportunity she found on facebook
>T-Thanks mum
>Posted on some shady group under anonymous
>Whatever, inquire anyway it'll count towards my jobseek hours for neetbux
>"Looking for school leavers who can build computers"
>21 uni dropout, can build a computer
>Apply
>"Yeah now do these tests"
>Do online maths, logic and english tests
>"Ok now come to our recruitment day"
>In a room with a bunch of overdressed overqualified fucksticks
>They make us spend 6 hours doing group activites and logic based shit
>2 interviews at the end when we're all exhausted
>"We'll get back to you in a week"

LITERALLY around 13 hours of applications, interviews and tests for an ENTRY LEVEL IT JOB

I'M LIVID got the job though lol

>>38862216
if they dont ask me for my information right on the spot i just assume i didnt get it. i have no idea why they leave people hanging like this i'd vastly prefer being denied bluntly.

>>38860402
>did you get spending money from?
I never had any more than $20 until I was 23

>>38860402
>birthday money
>Christmas money
>using your mom's Amazon account

Who needs it?

>mid 20s and never had a job gonna try to go to college so I can at least say I tried before I kms
So is it even possible to come back from something like this

>slap resume on every site
>apply to anything I'm remotely qualified for
>don't even get rejection letters
>once every two weeks or so I get a call
>mumbles over the company name and doesn't even say the position
>interview consists of answering questions found right on my resume
>say they'll get back to me
>never hear from them again
>repeat every fortnight

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I wish they would just tell me they're not interested as soon as the interview is over so I don't have to bother with thank you emails

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>>38858890
i went into tradeschool at 25 with no work history and had a job before i graduated. i make 21 an hour now and ive been working for like 6 months.
just make sure you like whatever trade youre getting into and there is a need for that skill in your area.
the downside is i already hate what i do and am now trapped forever.

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>>38853787
>no employment experience whatsoever

Do volunteer work you fucks. It allows you to be lazy as shit while still technically qualifying as a "something" on a resume over time

>>38862310
i sort of did it. got a decent job despite 3-4 years of NEET life.
make sure you go for something very practical. and get it done ASAP

>>38861659
Yeah that's complete BS. Marines will take anyone as long as you meet the physical requirements. That's what I plan on doing. Already talked to a recruiter. I don't plan on joining unless parents kick me out. Who told you this?

>No employment for 7 years
>full NEET for 4 yeaRS
>don't even bother making a resume cause it just makes me look worse
>applied to over 100 wagecuck interviews this year
>got 3 interviews
>all seemed to go very well
>never heard back from them

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>>38863445
>join Marines
>get cancer

>>38856174
>Google search companies that went bankrupt in that timeframe
>Yeah I worked at ((((bankrupt company))))
>They had to close due to financial reasons but I learned valuable lessons working there
It's that easy dude. Use technology to your advantage to lie to retards who never background check. Put a bankrupt companies number on your resume and basically fake it. Don't get too overboard, it has to be believable. You don't learn this in school kids. Only learn this when you're so hungry you'll suck a dick for a medium fry from McDonald's.

>>38863503
You know how many Marines don't have cancer? Better than being homeless

>>38856570
Fucking this. All this fresh crop of young people graduating every year, how is there an equal amount of people retiring to balance this?

>>38863503
lets readily take the word of the guy who says the government is illegitimate

If my parents both have companies couldn't I just get my parents on board with this and bullshit on a resume and say I worked for them all this time?

>parents advised me not to get a job during highschool and university because 'my study results might suffer from it, and getting an education is all that matters'
>listened to them like the gullible idiot I am
>don't know what to study, pick psychology because 'lol dunno I like helping people or something'
>no motivation, no aspirations
>drop out of uni 3 (!) years later
>obviously nobody wants to hire me, not even nightshift manual labour jobs (they have Poles for that now)
>all the rejections leave me feeling inadequate and hopeless
>in debt, no job experience, parasiting on parents
>have no idea how to survive in this world
>will probably live for another 50 to 60 years
>can't kill myself because I don't want to hurt my parents and brother

>>38860402
I didn't even know you were supposed to start working while in high school. None of my friends did. I just thought it was what kids from poor families did to support their families

>>38853787
>No experience in social skills, gf's or sex at all

I don't think I'll be able to pass the virginity detection test..

>>38853787
Just say you did work and travel or some shit.

just say you went "travelling" no need to provide proof and they'll buy it because its what all the normies do

>work for temp agency
>goes alright, have a few shifts but not really enough and they're hell
>miss a call
>eh whatever they'll call me back
>it's been two weeks and no calls/emails
At this point I just assume I've been "fired"/let go. Guess I should start searching for another job.

>>38853787
>"freelancing"
but seriously if you can't have been reasonably freelancing idk what you are expecting a resume to do for you anyway.

>>38859343
this. be a paid ghetto shooter or sell drugs. its the only way.

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>>38860308
you're a cheeky cunt

>>38862192
you're just gonna get burnt to fuck and look like mr. krabs

>resume is made up of only one job
>the same job I've been working since I left school
>tried uni, failed
>tried TAFE, failed
>tried apprenticeship, failed
>always had this job "as a backup"
>11 years later and I'm still here

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>>38865492
I'm you, but 20. Can't even drive.

How do I escape this bottomless pit of quicksand of neet life with shitty family?

>>38855104
Well I'm at uni right now since 2 semesters and I had a part-time job at the same time, so yeah, why the fuck couldn't you work too? Unless you study something very hard and requiring some serious investment, you have no excuses.

>>38865887
Cause mommy paid all the bills so I could sit at home posting frogs.

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>20
>going to uni this year
>know that I won't have a job even if I get a degree

>>38862918

>thank you e-mails

what the fuck is a thank you email

>>38866385
>thank you for your application blah blah you didn't get the job

>>38866385
dearest hiring manager, i want to thank you for gracing me with the opportunity to enjoy fellating you and your colleague. in the mean time i have been freelancing hard and honing my relevant skills in the 2 days i have been unemployed because i'm not a beta neet loser. much love. anon.

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>getting a job as a robot

Just sign out of society, we are never going to fit in. Save yourself the suffering.

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>>38856236
>22
>no job
>never graduated high school

>>38866330
Same mate, why you two years late? (Me too)

What degree?

>>38866533
I am not a burger so 20 is a normal age for uni in my cunt.
Going for Finance and Accounting.

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>country has 3 years mandatory military
>after 8 months try to an hero
>miserably
>get dismissed

In my country everyone ask "what you did in the army".
i have to either lie about my service, why i was released or tell them the truth.
I wish i was dead.

spent a year learning wood floor refinishing

Now Im lead technician get 150-300 a day.

Shooting the shit with old lady's who make me coffee all day.

I'm usually done by 12-2.

People look down on contractors but the money is great.

I'm getting paid to work out all day

>>38853787
If you're young get an apprenticeship.

>minimum wage is high n my country
>but it doesn't matter because everything is expensive to balance it out
whats the point of them making the minimum wage so high if everything gets expensive

>all these spergs who are in their 20s with no work experience and no certification

Serves you right for being blights upon society

>>38861821
How about not trying to "build up experience" by being a Walmart clerk?

>>3885378
>That 9 year age gap in relationship
Why can't people understand its natural and true and real love? I have the parent's permission, at least I think I do. They haven't found her so it's not like they are looking for her. Sure I'll dump her when she gets too old, probably kill her so she doesn't give away our pillow talk secrets but the feelings are still there!!

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>Got rejected from McDonalds
>Couldn't even get past the Tesco pre-interview screening
>Never heard back from various entry level jobs I applied to

REEEEE MY PARENTS TOLD ME IF I DO WELL IN SCHOOL IT'LL BE EASY TO FIND A JOB MEANWHILE CHAD WHO'S DUMB AS BRICKS GETS A FULL TIME WELL PAYING JOB

>>38856432
>tfw double bogey

Just lie desu, it's your only option if you're being beaten out by people with marginally more experience.

>>38867587
Then get into manual labor. They need people, but nobody want to wear working boots anymore.

>>38856747
deal drugs


orig

just start your own business and be your own boss you dip

>>38867715
Vandelay Industries?
I've always wanted to be a latex salesman.

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>>38866532
me too, I'm learning to drive atm

>>38860402
I didn't go to high school

I have money from a car accident as a kid

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What's the holdup robots? Just assassinate a high tier banker or try to destroy Blackstone and watch the world go down while you sit in your comfy room watching those normies die. Just buy enough food and water to survive.

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>applied to a Walmart for their night shift stock job
>got an interview and began work the next week
Thee comfiest job ever

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>>38853787
>falling for the eternal good goy worker meme

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>>38856236
>21 never held job
>see entry level position as a warehouse support for pipe & specialty metals warehouse
>work times offer MON-FRI 6hr/day
>pays only $11
>relatively close since no transportation
>need money
>requirement is steel toed boots and able to lift up to 50 lbs
>literally own 2 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shorts and 1 t shirt differently colored from several white under t shirts
>have only $21

i have no idea how to get a job, but in the event that i do i have no means of dressing properly for it at all.

>>38858756
>How'd you hear about us
The same way I hear about other job openings you stupid cunts
>Why do you want to work for us
TO EARN MONEY YOU RETARDED BITCHES

Jesus fucking christ HR was a mistake.

>tfw getting hired after internship at a company that usually is hard to get in without nepotism
>Been there ever since
>Barely even needed an interview

Did i luck out?

>>38865887
Probably because he doesn't want to be a miserable wagie like you.

If you guys live near an area where a lot of tv shows/films/commercials are done, you can make a decent living as a background actor. All you really need are some good pictures of yourself (headshot and body) and the ability to follow directions. Depending on the state, you could mak some decent money from it and you almost always get fed on set.

>>38868506
How do you find openings for that though? Where would you apply?

>>38868193
They probably have a boot allowence pay most places give you 35$ for boots when you bring them the receipt

>>38868544
even still

i literally own a virtually 2 outfit wardrobe, how could i possibly go to work wearing the same things?

>>38868312
iktf
i get the part about asking where you heard from them so they have feedback for their job ads
but asking why you want to work there is the most retarded thing ever and you always have to tell lies like youre there for finding friends or tackling challenges or some other random bs

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>>38867917
I tried learning how to drive like 4 months ago and I gave up after the second time. It's too nervewracking.

>>38854235
Fuck off nigger so what if I want to spend six months doing nothing
>volunteering
kill yourself

>>38868563
>go to thrift store
>buy boots
>use paycheck to buy a work outfit

You are over complicating this.

>>38856747
>parent dont allow me to work back in home country.

what the fuck? are you kid or something? I kinda want to ask why the fuck wouldnt they want you to work in home country but now I wonder why would you care what they want

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>25
>2 year NEET gap
>only work I can get is bottom of the barrel, minimum wage work
>no set hours, terrible working conditions, nowhere near enough to survive or move out of home
Kill me

>>38868731
sounds like your living the dream

>>38868520
Most of the legit stuff are on casting sites like Casting Networks, Backstage, Central Casting, Actors Access, and Mandy. I use the first two mainly because I'm also trying to move my way up, but you really don't need much to start up. For a resume, if you haven't done any theatre/film or tech work in high school or college, I would look for a reputable acting class that doesn't charge you extra for shit like "submitting your headshot to our big time agent friends".

>>38856236
I'm 22 and I just recently got a job at a retail store, and before that I never had a job, so it's definitely not impossible. However, you're probably not going to get paid that much at first. But it's still worth it, because you're gaining job experience, which will make it easier to find better, higher-paying jobs in the future.

>>38854276
You are overestimating Walmart's standards.

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>>38859487

Group Interview #1
>hotel call center
>telemarketing
>job is to cold call normies and sell them travel packages
>land an interview
>office building
>15-20 business casual people walk out out of the room
>students at a morning class or something?
>wait for a fucking hour
>walk in
>it's a group interview with 15-20 people
>rapid fire questions that you answer with one line
>work experience is the first question
>interviewer cuts people off if they don't have any or say "volunteering.."
>education is second question
>anyone who says anything IT-related is "more good with computers" and "not really a people person"
>some extroverted Chad bartender turbonormie looks like he made the cut for that batch
>interview ends
>walk out
>another batch of 15-20 people in the waiting room
>mfw they interviewed 50+ people for a couple call center jobs

Group Interview #2
>shoe store
>typical retail job
>get the interview
>walk in
>batch of 6 people already there
>everyone looks like they desperately need the job
>I'm only there because my mom made me go
>work experience is first round table question
>some bitch won't stfu about her life story
>literally talks for literally 5+ minutes
>employees keep walking in to access fridge in the interview room
>have to say hello and act like you care because they might be future co-workers
>I basically just mumble responses and browse my phone
>"why should we hire you?"
>"why do you want to work here?"
>"what sets you apart?"
>"what can you REALLY add to the shoe company?"
>"if you were an animal, what animal would you be?"
>"if a colleague stole a dollar from the till, would you tell the supervisor?"
>30 mins later
>ask the bitch how many batches she's going to do today
>"another four rounds of group interviews for today and tomorrow"
>mfw

And they don't even fucking tell you over the phone it's going to be a group interview instead of a normal one so that you know to not bother

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>dropped out of school
>over 1 year NEET gap
>even if I get a job I dont think i can hold the job longer than a month

oi lads anyone want a job at deliveroo? its the perfect job for NEETs.
>no interaction responsibilities
>get to listen to comfy music or podcasts while cycling through your town
>get to know all the good food joints
>get fit at the same time as being paid.

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can i just like stay at home and get rich off cryptocurrencies or stock trading or something?

>>38868853
> want a job at deliveroo?
>get acid attacked by london niggers like every other fucking deliveroo worker

I can't even do that

>>38868826
>Not living in rual america where there are not enough people for a group interview

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>>38853787
>three year gap in resume

>>38868901
sure but you need some capital to begin with and there's the risk of losing money as well

>>38868939
who cares? we're all ugly af its not like our faces matter that much.

>>38868945
good. Rural America sucks. I'm glad I only have to go through when going to another city that has something interesting in it to offer.

>>38868853
I've thought about doing food delivery, but I'm worried about turning up to shady people's houses at night, and also about finding the right house and stuff. Also, I'd worry someone would steal my car if I had to go to like the 16th floor of an apartment block or something

>>38868712
>paycheck
>show up to turn in application
>mriraculously land job
>work wearing same clothes everyday for a month
>get paycheck

that would raise a couple eyebrows, its a warehouse so it might get me dirty so i have to wash often ;;

>>38866798
Move country you Slavshit

Honestly. It might not be easy, there'll be days spent hidden away wishing you were dead, but in the long run you'll be better off. Good luck anon, all of that is still better than being gone forever.

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>tfw no motivation to get a better job

>>38869047
>its a warehouse so it might get me dirty
I feel like nobody would notice or care for this exact reason.
Also I guarantee you can find a couple free tshirts somewhere.

You're sand bagging man, you can make it work. You can ask to be paid weekly too, they might be sympathetic.

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>>38865835
https://youtu.be/mGUhUzJKSDs

>>38859847
>...we'll get back to you
Dude, you have to call THEM. Most companies don't give a shit about you. You have to take initiative and give them a call. Only then will they know that you're taking this seriously. Companies will NEVER EVER "get back to you".

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>>38869167
>ask to be paid weekly
i didn't know you could do that

here's a .pdf of the sample application they put up along with the job ad

do you think a neet with no previous job experience or legitimate references apart from maybe asking discord friends could survive filling this form out?


I've also never seen/filled a job application out before

see below where the ask for current address
>how long
what do they mean by this?

my only job is extremely part time, i get a couple of shifts a month. if i lie on my resume and make out that it's a bigger deal can employers find out? i think i could get the manager to lie for me if i referenced him.

>>38863843
That's literally what I did and I got a job at 21 after never working in my life. It was nice.

>>38869167
>>38869305
i forgot the .pdf

https://wp.quintcareers.com/employment-application.pdf

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>>38869305
just print out a bunch of smug anime girls and paste them in the various sections.

>got fired from last job
>lied and said I was still employed there
>got another job after 2 months making 2.5x as much
>start next week
>lied about where I live, too, and called some stupid extracurricular I did in college an "internship"

>>38856484

Here's the best part. I went to a meetup to play a sport, held my autism long enough to make a mid-30s male friend who I used as a reference. Normies have it so fucking easy. I guarantee I got the job because of him. All those years being unemployed because I had no friends or network, and I find out it's this fucking easy. Normies live on easy mode.

>>38856570

Get financially independent as soon as possible. Have enough where you can live on the interest. I only need to work about 10 years to accomplish this, maybe a bit more. So I'll retire by 35-40. If the jobs disappear I don't need to give a fuck.

>>38859390

Sounds fine brah. You can get a comfy level 30-35k office job. Apply to IT type stuff. Normies don't know shit about computers.

>>38868999
a majority of the time people only care about getting their food, i'v worked with them for at least a year now and the worst i'v gotten are naked dudes. Most people wanting to start shit would go out with their mates to the town. only weed smokers and people with no friends get orders.Not counting the weekend where you get hungover chads.

>>38868590
Oh shit son, I'm in the same boat.

I have to push myself to do it though. I'm 20 and my family constantly takes jabs at me cause I can't drive, it's pretty depressing. Also, after looking at my options, the only way I can improve my position is to drive.

I fucking hate this feel, why is one of the most mundane activities that every simple-minded normie can do such a monumental and daunting task for me?

>>38869047
You're seriously over complicating this. Do you have any idea how easy it is to steal from Goodwill or other thrift shops? It's a fucking joke.

>>38869305
>>38869325
>i didn't know you could do that
Well you can ask, a small company probably would do it. A big company with bunch of HR lackeys probably won't.

>do you think a neet with no previous job experience or legitimate references apart from maybe asking discord friends could survive filling this form out?
Literally doesn't matter if you can't fill out every single box. They just want someone as soon as possible. Show up to the place in person and express interest. As long as you don't look like a drug addict there's a 50% chance they say "you're hired, now just fill out the application so we have your info" right on the spot. Don't be spergy and email the application, or sneak it into the mailbox without talking to anyone.

>how long
how many years you lived there (or maybe dick size, not sure)

>neet for 13 years
>do degree
>ugly as sin
>socially retarded

God, how I wish I was born in US. I would be diagnosed with turbo autism and could live off neetbucks for the rest of my life. Now I'm guaranteed to end up on the street once my parents die.

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>>38869451
the joke is stealing from goodwill, anon.
I couldn't do that

>>38869577
checked

judging by the way the ad was written it doesn't seem they'd expect much especially since the position is both entry level and only $11/hr

>posted 3 days ago

I guess since the job ad is relatively fresh I could give myself some time to think it over...
I suppose I could go down to a thrift store and pick up a couple cheap shirts or an old pair or two of pants and just make those temporary "work pants".

I've never held a job for more than 3 months in my entire life. On my resumes I just put that I worked at my last job for a couple years and the reason I quit was because I moved.

>>38869797
these warehouse jobs are literally worse than McDonald's (especially as a temp)

that "able to lift 50 lbs." is not a joke. They can put you in receiving where you are unloading trucks all day - constantly lifting 30-50 pound boxes out of sweltering truck trailers in the summer heat. You'll probably be working with fresh off the boat third world immigrants.

>>38853787
>he doesnt lie on his resume
This is how i know you're dumb

/r9k/ job network when
Everyone other group practices nepotism, we might as well look out for our own.

>>38869308
If the manager is literally going to lie for a reference then you're air-tight. All they can do is ask your manager "Hey, how often does he work/how long has he worked there for" and they have to take your managers word as absolute. They can't (and won't) demand your work logs, and unless it's an insanely serious job they're not going to ask for your paystubs/etc either.

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Even if I don't have a big gap in my resume I'm not confident that I can land a decent job if I quit now due to my overall ineptness.

>>38869859
>fresh off the boat third world immigrants
this doesn't sound as bad since they would probably know little english and maybe want to earn their wages working while also keeping to themselves.

you sound like you have some experience working these sort of warehouse jobs? I looked online and I guess 50 lbs. seems similar to about a large sack of potatoes or a big bag of dog food.

am pretty smol boi <5'7 and below average (healthy) muscles... wonder if im cut out to work at a place like this

>>38869942
probably never. i tried to get this idea going a few years back, at the height of the great recession but no one wanted to do shit. fortunately though, i got a job.

>>38869859
No way it could be worse than McDonalds

Cleaning up feces off the wall, making food, talking to the public, kicking junkies out of the bathroom

Seems like at a warehouse you can just lift stuff up and down and be with your own thoughts

>>38870080
I mean the major issue is location. Even if we had a robust /r9k/ job search, it's incredibly unlikely I'd find someone who could get me a job in my city. The same goes for a lot of people- unless you live in a big city, /r9k/ probably can't help you find a job.

>>38870090
Pick your poison. I only read stories but it's the intense physical labor under shit conditions. No they won't turn on the AC for you or let you tap out for 5 unless it's to quit. Bottom end immigrant workers have no choice unlike financially secure permanent citizens so they get run ragged.

>>38870122
at that time i had zero references and i just wanted some robots to vouch for me. but i figured that i could just take shit temp jobs, do a very good job, and use the temp agency as references.

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>>38870047
it IS bad, you get a few from the same country and they will babble loudly in their own language, start slacking more, try to get you to do the hardest work around, and most don't wear deodorant. Have fun being in a metal tube with 3 pakis who smell like curry and shit.

>>38870090
I think McD's is air-conditioned at least? Try doing heavy lifting for 8 hours in 30C weather. At least 3 of the non-temps (union guys) working there longer for 5 years talked about their hernias openly.

They don't let you go on your phone, a boss can send you home right then and there if they catch you on your phone for 2 seconds. Your agency might not pay for that day, never call you back, stop dealing with you, and cut contact - good luck getting your pay for that half-day or filing a labor suit or complaint.

I saw a guy get sent home on the spot for daring to sit down on a skid for 10 minutes while there was no work (boxes were not coming down the conveyor in his lane). Another guy pissed off the full-timer he was working with by talking too much, came in the next day, got sent to the office and was never seen again.

the only thing these jobs are good for is drinking money, introducing to you the reality, and lighting a fire under your ass unless you're too far gone beyond that point in terms of age or depression.

just use a temp agency to do all the heavy lifting that is job searching. i regularly get email notifications for office and manual labor jobs.

>>38870156
Yeah it's shit, I worked for all of one shift at Ferrero Rocher (don't work there) and it was full of pakis/assorted brownskins and it was a fucking awful job.

>>38870232
>the only thing these jobs are good for is drinking money, introducing to you the reality, and lighting a fire under your ass unless you're too far gone beyond that point in terms of age or depression.
yeah, its great motivation to keep yourself in school and apply yourself

>>38870232
That sounds horrible

Most of the tech companies I've interviewed at give employees free soda and comfy chairs and couches to sit on.

Don't these bosses know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

>>38859487
These are the fucking worst. I had one and i hated having to listen to all the Chads and roasties spout their customer service experience at mccuckolds for a tech job when I was one of the few with actual tech experience in the fucking room!

Guess who didn't get the job? companies that do group interviews deserve to go bankrupt. I was fortunate enough to get a job after a Skype interview.

No bullshit, asked me tech knowledge questions and was hired on the spot. Took half an hour instead of three to get bullshit answers from every fag in the group.
Group interviews are an automatic red flag!