Anyone here have stupid stories to share?

this one time I went to the store down the road and poked a girl on the back of her shoulder to annoy her

>>38837992
>Be me
>Be patroling mohavie dessert
>Be fricking hot
>Says "I want nu-clear winter right now"
>The I die.

>I am male chauvist
>I am out with my parents
>There is wi-fi, so I think "I can Watch some videos!"
>THOT ALLARM
>Some weird girls are behind me
>Because I am a fan of JoJo, I start to think a plan with the Kira's OST
>Drinked slowely the water in silence
>Watch "Sono Chi no WOAH"
>I WILL NOT LAUGH
>The pizza don't come
>"Porca puttana!"
>The Thots go away
>FINALLY
>Arrived the pizza
>VICTORY!

My whole life is a stupid story

>>38837992
I took a shit so big at uni that it was sticking out the bowl