/wgg/ -- Wet Gas General

haha
can i smell it?

Hmm slow start to my thread. Not the response I was hoping for.

I'll kick things off with a story:
>be at small get-together
>friends with only 1 person there
>home-owner has a hot tub
>we all go in, have drinks
>talking to a girl, she's nice to me (big deal as a KHV)
>afterward in a spare bedroom, sitting on the bed while getting changed
>have wet gas
>stand up, yellowish brown stain on white blanket
>flip blanket over and hide stain
>girl goes in after me to change
>comes out complaining that it smells
>'you couldnt smell it? i can smell it even now'
>make excuse and leave ASAP

Just one of many times wet gas has fucked up my life.

>>38817027
Have you talked to a doctor about it? That honestly sounds awful

>>38817061
He insists it's my diet. I admittedly don't eat great -- a lot of microwave meals, pizza, etc. But my diet has always been this way and I only rarely had problems with wet gas until about 8 months ago.

So this thread is completely dead. This upsets me that I'm made to feel like a freak on /r9k/ of all places. I guess I really have nowhere to turn to discuss this when people on an anonymous message board won't even admit to having wet gas. You all must think you're a lot better than me.

>>38817163

So stop eating like a filthy neckbeard, your body is clearly sick of it.

>>38816927
we DO NOT need a general for this anon

>>38817163
Your body is probably no longer able to deal with the literal garbage your shovelling into it. When you're a kid your body can take all kinds of abuse but as an adult you have to start being responsible for your health and not eat like a 12 year old left alone at home for the first time. If you're sick of literally shitting your pants then listen to your doctor and eat properly.

try to not be white

>>38817231
>>38817255
I don't have a lot of money and I never learned to cook. It'd be great to have a gf cook for me or something but that seems like a pipe dream.

>>38817233
Do you speak for the entire /r9k/ board? Didn't think so.

>>38817282
That racist BS has no place in /wgg/.

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OP I do know how you feel.

I am a pretty large man, 500lbs or so (think Boogie size, I am like that) and basically can't pass wind without releasing dirty moisture.

I am pretty sure this is a diet thing. I once at nothing but apples (22 apples a day) for a week and my wind became dry but I felt sick which proves I can't eat healthily.

Have you ever shit yourself in public?

I shit myself once every 4 month or so, not wet gas actual fecal matter. Usually I can tell it will happen due to how my belly feels in the morning so I don't go outside. However once or twice I do shit myself. For example, I shit myself when ordering a subway the other month. The smell quickly penetrated through the entire restaurant whilst the server was preparing my sandwich. I didn't even have time to collect it. I shouted 'I THINK MY SANDWICH FARTED' then waddled to an alleyway and hid my shit there.

>>38817323
It's 2017 theres youtube tutorials for fucking everything. Rice and beans are much healthier than microwave dinners, have more nutrition, and cost way less. If you but in bulk your daily caloric needs of rice and beans is under $7 USD You literally have no excuse other than pure laziness.

>>38817382
Try not to binge eat one thing maybe? If you look at any countries health guidelines they all recommend a balanced diet so maybe try doing that?

>>38817382
>22 apples a day for a week
that doesn't prove anything but the fact that you're retarded

>>38817382
>I think my sandwich farted
you're a fucking legend

>tfw you find out shart in mart is a real thing in America, and Amerifats are so stupid they can't understand why it happens
It's a good feel

Hello OP. I recently went vegetarian and honestly, the changes to my body and the way I feel is massive. Even how often/how I shit is better.
I don't have much to contribute apart from saying what you put in your body will have a massive impact. Have you tried cooking / eating healthy for a week?

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>>38817382
>22 apples a day

lmfao

>>38817382
>I once at nothing but apples (22 apples a day) for a week
>I felt sick which proves I can't eat healthily.
Sad thing is that's what obese people genuinely think.

>>38817382
>22 apples a day
>I shouted 'I THINK MY SANDWICH FARTED'
I want to believe this is real

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>>38816927
That's a beautiful patriot stain right there!

>>38816927
I have this issue when consuming too much high fructose corn syrup or sugar.
Cut back on that shit and eat more fiber.

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>Be at work
>Fart
>Worry that it was a shart
>Try to discreetly feel up my asshole to make sure that area isn't wet
>some cunt manager noticed and quit because she was so disgusted by this

>>38816927
what's your diet like?
im fat as shit and i can rip them with no worries unless i ate something old or weird

>>38817163
Bro you're not a kid anymore your stomach isn't meant to handle that shit on a constant basis that stuff you're eating should be on the rare occasion you can't cook for whatever reason. It's literally only going to get worse from here I have a really sensitive stomach to the point where if I eat anything even slightly off I'm shitting my brains out and having to deal with brown streaks on my underwear and having that awful slimy burn your asshole gets from this shit. You should seriously consider changing your diet. It's not that big of a change honestly.

>>38816927

>forced to fart in a bathroom

pretty bad, but I'd suggest change in diet (more leaves, less fries)

>>38817323
Cooking isn't hard you should learn how to cook meat since it's such an easy thing to do try this it'll help your asshole too
>Get chicken
>cut it into really small pieces
>cook in oil or crisco with pan top on
>chicken should be filling with meat juice and almost kinda boiling it
>mix chicken around
>keep doing it til juice reduces and chicken starts browning everywhere
>get pot
>fill it with rice
>make sure there's an inch of water above the rice after filling it with water
>boil it then put top on
>when done mix together
>get broccoli
>use same pot you used to boil rice fill it with water again
>put another pot over that pot and make sure the top pot ontop of the pot has holes
>make sure you have the top on
>cooks the broccoli
>mince garlic
>cook it a bit in oil and the chicken juice fat
>poor it on broccoli
>taste good
MMMM and your butthole with thank you as mine does! Make sure to use some sorta sauce with the rice and chicken so it's not too bland.

>>38816927
You might be lactose intolerant dude.
I'm pretty sure I am but I refuse to quit dairy because dairy is life. If I drink a latte or a fat glass of milk I get colic and my farts become gambles.

>>38816927
>>38819774
Also if you have wet gas you have diarrhea. One doesn't come without the other. If you have diarrhea every day (like me) and it's a good day the odd time you have an actual solid healthy shit (like me), then your guts are all kinds of fucked up.

Last time I had a healthy shit was like a month ago. And about a month before that. The only time the watery shits stop is when I get constipated for a couple days once a month.

Used to be when I got constipated Id get excited. I'd think "It's okay, I'm bloated and feeling gross for a couple days but just think - every day I don't shit, my watery liquid shit is compacting into what will be an actual healthy, satisfying shit" - Well guess what, I know better know. Know what really happens?
It doesn't form a proper shit, it forms a hard shit cork or plug. I strain and push and sweat and hope I don't pop an aneurysm trying un-constipate, and suddenly *pop* cork of hard shit comes out followed by cascade of diarrhea.

I am not quitting dairy though, and thats final.

>move to a new area
>don't have a fridge/stove yet so rely entirely on shitty convenience food for a few weeks
>wake up one morning
>stand up and go to fart
>literally spray diahrreha all over the floor, walls and my legs because I sleep in the nude
Its 100% the diet.

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>>38817163
Dude, when you're young your stomach can handle all kinds of fucked up shit without making you ill. You're probably getting old and your guts can't handle the "food" you bombard it with anymore.

Lets you and me try metamucil for a while. Maybe then you won't have to stop eating like a neckbeard and I won't have to stop eating dairy.

>>38817382
>22 apples a day
>I felt sick
>proves I can't eat healthily.
>22 apples a day
>healthy
>22 apples
>health
You people are all the same.
>mfw

>>38819860
Hahahahahhaaaaa

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>>38817382
>500lbs
>22 apples a day
>once or twice I do shit myself
>'I THINK MY SANDWICH FARTED'
have you ever thought about suicide

>>38819860
Lordy. Reminds me of a story my dad told me about his buddy:
>feeling sick one night
>decides to take off all his clothes to relieve the pressure on his abdomen
>manages to get to sleep
>wakes up with massive stomach cramps in the middle of the night
>throws back the covers to get to the bathroom
>no sooner does he stand up than he begins uncontrollably sharting
>diarrhoea sprays out his ass
>his wife, who had been sleeping next to him in bed, is badly hit