>tfw no feels thread How are you doing today anon? come share

>>38814563
I actually started sleep walking after dealing with the stress of being around people for a couple weeks, I can fucking stand. And simultaneously I don't want to be by myself anymore.

every night i go into a fit of lonely bitter rage and want to smash my head into the walls and i go crazy on the one singular person i talk to. why can't i just die in my sleep

I've been suicidal for quite a while now and keep successfully distracting myself but it keeps spiraling every night.

I don't have access to any good methods which is why it hasn't happened yet, the bridges around me I fear are too low.

The only thing worse than living, would be surviving my death.

>>38814854
why does night time always unleash the worst?

>had three friends
>one goes on a trip and forgets I exist
>another just stops talking to me
>last one is actually agreeing to hang out with me soon
I know I'm gonna screw this up somehow. I dont know what to do about my autistic feelings towards this last friend and I'm scared of ruining everything

>tfw want to do ambitious things like create a manga or make an album over the summer
>feel too pressured to do anything
>do nothing and go to sleep
>repeat everyday

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Does nature want people like us to fuck off and die?

>>38814933
me too. so many fucking failed plans and ideas.

>>38814563
I feel like fucking shit, like every day.

The only time I don't feel like shit is at work when my mind it fully occupied by my job, literally as soon as I get home I feel like shit again. All I can ever do is distract myself.

>>38814915
I've noticed this too, I can usually distract myself during the day, but when I'm laying in bed at night trying to go to bed, I have nothing to occupy me but my thoughts. and they aren't good thoughts.

>>38814933
>tfw almost constantly have a tab open for the book I am writing yet have made barely any progress on it.

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>>38814563
>tfw watching a coming of age anime
>tfw remember that I skip childhood
>tfw self esteem audibly drops to zero

I CAN'T STOP DWELLING ON THE PAST

Bored. Overmodding skyrim special edition. I'm dropping more and more frames with every batch so that's going to need looking at.

Thirsty. Ree all you want but I'm just faggot enough to have put dicks in my mouth and want more. Finding anyone within my broard limits is impossible and the one guy who works has been unable for the third week running

Foot hurts. I got a bit of gout flaring up, I pushed too hard with the garbage food and now I am paying for it

>>38815996
ME TOO PLEASE KILL ME I FEEL SO ANGRY

>>38814563
>tfw 25
>still no double bed
People are beginning to notice

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I rewatched Kokoro Connect. I found it a lot funnier and less soul crushing when I still had a life.

>>38815996
>watching coming of age anime
>mc is like 7 years younger than me, in his teens
>he's brave, talented and is doing well academically and physically
>his father tells him how proud he is of him and how much he's grown into a man
>meanwhile I'm a fat skillless virgin stuck in my wageslave job and my mom's guest room watching anime and playing games all day

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Well shit were do i start

>the only people who want to ever see me only want to use me for money or support over shit

>treated like shit by family and people at work

>family always asks me why im depressed all the time but seem to mock me anytime they see me

>bad thoughts in the head

>non stop weight gain since i graduated is leading to more self hatred

>no longer want love or romance, kinda just hate woman

>actually im starting to hate everyone more and more

>too depressed to write music anymore

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>>38815996
>>38816114
Nothing hurts me more than watching High school animes, yet I keep watching

My uncle died recently. I only met him 4 or 5 times, I didn't know him well, but I am saddened by all of the family history he knew that I didn't get a chance to learn. I am sad for my mother, seeing a parent upset/crying is deeply upsetting.

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>tfw cute female coworker
>She always says good morning to me
>We always sit and talk on our break
>Can actually talk to her without being a spaghetti spilling autist
>She's married
Banish me from this fucking world already

On a slightly positive note, I've lost around 70 pounds this year. It's amazing how much nicer people treat me, and how many girls will actually talk to and compliment me now that I'm not a disgusting fatass.

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>>38816416
>cute coworker always says hi to me
>always seems to like talking to me
>always seems like she's blushing when she's with me
>gets distracted by 6ft chad coworker for an hour, or for the rest of the day

>>38816462
My condolences friend. That's a truly awful feel.

>>38814563
you probably have anxiety while talking to people because theyre not making you feel at ease, which case it is not worth talking to them in the first place.

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>>38814563

i almost cried at the organ and synthesizer part in close to the edge by yes because it was moving

>I did nothing today but sleep and eat food.

>>38816570
+suffer for 6-8 hours at work

>>38816599
I didn't go to work, i havent for the past week. The warehouse i work at barely has any shit to do, so im basically just on fucking call.
I need money man, come on

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>friend recommends watching FLCL
>tells me it gave him nostalgic feeling
>I decide to watch it
>feel like shit
I WAS PROMISED GOOD FEELS! I WANT A REFUND

I guess today wasn't so bad.
I feel sick from smoking ciggerattes and I need to fucking stop.
Today was a good day in trade school I wasn't entirely clueless.

>>38816112
Shit, another thing added to the list
>tfw bedlet

>>38814563
Have feelings for a qt maths tutor of mine.
Results are coming out soon. Want to fuck her bad. I reckon she has a bf now. Life truly is misery at times.

>>38814563
I contacted my ex for the first time in 4 years. I'm a small fish in the pond compared to most robots here, almost 21 and still a virgin. I dated a few people here and there in the 4 years it's been since I dated this first person but I never felt strongly about them like I felt about my ex. I haven't felt like that about anyone or been attracted to anyone since. It fluctuates but for the most part I've effectively erased them from life and forgot about them. When I'm feeling particularly lonely though I remember them and this past week had me down enough to actually send them a facebook message. I'm so fucking dumb because we dated for 3 months and they dumped me without telling me I'm probably meaningless to them.

They want to meet up to see how I've been, my brain is telling me this is a VERY VERY bad idea because it's already bringing up complicated feelings I long buried but something in me really wants to go.

I feel dumb typing this out, my feels are dumb and I shouldn't even have them in the first place.

>>38816314
>Too depressed to write music anymore

Can relate. I spent ages 7-18 pouring my entire life into music. I haven't touched it in a few years. I even stopped listening to music for about a year period at my worst. It was such a strong part of my identity that when I meet people I knew before I got really depressed they are utterly shocked I don't play music anymore.

When I try to start back up again it's like a punch in the face how rusty I've become and that makes me feel even more like shit, it's basically a continuous cycle.

Just turned 31. Still khv. Have a job but no savings because I have to send money to my parents who are just horrible at business and in staying healthy.

>>38816338
Yea its gotten so bad for me i cant watch much else these days

>>38814563
>OP pic
That pretty much sums it up. She's probably forgotten I ever even existed but I still lay awake nights thinking of her. I never really expected otherwise but that doesn't make it easier.

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>tfw flooded my mind with so much vidya, porn, and music that I barely remember anything
only a handful of moments from childhood have stuck with me and most if not all of them are negative.
I'm going to get even worse this year and next year and all I'm doing is the same shit that made me a brainlet in the first place.

>>38814563
For some reason I can't stop feeling like I am a lesser person compared to everyone else I know
And even if that is true, I don't know why I care

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I can no longer open up emotions, no matter what it is.
I've been hiding them very well, to the point where people thought I was normal or just outright apathetic.

While I am in fact the opposite, but still can never open them up, and fucking bottle them over the years.
Why the fuck do I have to suffer from emotions?
Why do I feel vulnerable and weak whenever I get emotional?
I hate being weak and miserable, I hate it when people show emotions to anyone.

I can't even cry anymore for god's sake, everytime I try to FORCE myself to cry, I hear a voice in my head just screaming "MAN UP, MAN UP MAN UP.
REAL MEN DON'T CRY"

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>Trying to find a second job to move out of my parents house
>Shit is too expensive where I live, so need to have at least two
>All the jobs keep getting offered to teenagers and Somalians, most of whom don't even live in my city
>Another year is going to pass with my parents breathing down my neck and yelling at me for stupid shit

https://youtu.be/YUpIg9ZFsd4
This song and the next, Sons of Fate, always gets a bit teary. I know it's a stupid band about Megaman, but I always identified with Protoman more so than Mega. He's blackpilled beyond measure.

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>Got my first job 7 months ago
>Manager took advantage of me and treated me like shit
>co-workers would straight up tell me he was making me do work I didn't need to do and would punish me for doing things they would also do.
>Work with nice new girl one day
>He screams at me over something that wasn't my fault
>she tells me He can't do that, he should at least treat you like a person
>He talks to me like that all the time
>I stand up for myself
>I get fired

Everyone else was really cool or at least neutral. I'll miss working with them.

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>>38814563
Realized my "friends" werent really my friends when I was tripping on ~600ug of acid at a show. Got a nice haircut and wore something nice (denim and polo) when I came over to hangout a few days later. immeduare bad vibes from "friend Probably because I looked cleaner than the last time they saw me. But Faggot "friend" n his brother just had to criticize something about me and they went with my hair being combed to the side. really? Tried confronting the bitches that were there about why they were muttering shit about me underneath their breath when I was tripping @ the show. Of course they denied, why wouldn't they? Then, were just talking while one of them is holding their phone like >pic related and aiming the camera towards me a few ft away. I don't know why this chick does this honestly. To redicule masturb8, idk. She has a bf, and I kind of subconsciously have given hints that I'm interested in her but she doesn't know its just platonic. later, the bitches talk and point it out loudly so that I can hear, that the chick that was aiming the phone at me doesn't have nudes or dick pics. come on, the other chick saw her too and just wanted to make sure if she did take video/pics of me. friend calls it a night forcing his gf to come to bed and as she leaves she says "UGLY" really loudly as I watch w/e was on tv with other guy. Basically confirming these bitches were assholes. I know that UGLY was aimed at me. I know my haircut made me look good bitch. Fuck off. Other girl gives me a ride home, she tells me her problems. Realize I'm a fucking orbiter just listening to her talk sitting in her car outside my apt. Still have some romantic feelings for her. She's venting, and I'm thinking "is it a good idea to try to kiss her to shut her up as she's rambling like how they do it in movies?" Pussy out, prob good decision in case I was rejected and she tells the other bitch who would then tell my "friend" abd I wouldn't see the end of being shamed behind my back

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>spent the latter half of my teenage years being a depressed NEET
>years of emotional trauma from my incredibly dysfunctional family gave me serious self esteem issues
>was diagnosed with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder at 19, had anxiety so bad that I couldn't even leave the house
>welfare services sends me in for assessment regarding my NEETBUX
>get a 6"1 7/10 sucessful looking woman as my assessor
>explain to her that I can't get a job due to my clinical depression, all of the different medication that I've been off and on and my anxiety about leaving the house
Now, I know a lot of people make fun of my type, but I genuinely had it that bad. Anyway
>she just nods
>can tell that I've been railroaded by a thot with no empathy
>kicked off neetbux
>forced to get a job
>get stuck in mcdonalds
>just over a year and i'm still stick on grill fry, barely get rostered for hours and and the manager can't even spell my name right after knowing me for more than a year because she has zero respect for me.

>>38819895
I want to see haircut.

One of the things that depressed me that r9k got overran by teenagers and normies, most people in this thread talk about their ex gfs and looks, for gods sake kys and leave us alone you normie scum

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I'm just bored of the emotional rollercoaster now, Hopefully I'll just lose all of my emotions soon like those sociopaths.

People keep disappointing me, leading to me having to end friendships and then ending up even more lonely. If you're ever feeling down don't bother going to your friends about it, you can't rely on anybody, especially women