you become last man on earth

you would be immediately detained in a state of emergency and harvested for your semen, the hard way.

>>38768599
I would refuse to sex every roastie and let humanity die out with me.
That'll teach them for years of rejection.

Only cum on face so humans die out with me

>>38768599
>Make it about a five year circle
Even if you bang 3 girls per day that means only 5,475 girls banged in the 5 years.

What's much more likely is this:
>>38768626

>>38768626
and how would they detain me? i can beat up any woman that tries to attack me.

>>38768628
>That'll teach them for years of rejection.
I bet you never even tried and consider your personal fear as rejection.

There might be enough stored semen to repopulate the earth without you.
Though your sex would still be valuable.

>>38768699
can you beat up 3.5 billion women coming at you at once

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>>38768699
12 on the internet: the post

>>38768701
Don't need to, friend.
Their disgusted faces and never wanting to hang out with me proves it is rejection, and not just fear.

>>38768626
by who? The one girl who was left in the military?Will the single female cop give her a hand?

The world is going to be a wasteland and I'm going to be a wandering drifter living off of other people's food.

>>38768728
>by who?
Literally anyone with a taser autismo

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>>38768599
i would kill myself first chance i got
that would be terrible. i only want 1 woman
if i would try to just have 1, other women would hate her/me
fuck that gay reality

>>38768599
I'd go around the world searching for the perfect woman, breed with her and discard the other females.

>>38768722
>power goes out
>fridges turn off

yeah gg dumbass

>>38768599
I would cut off my balls to condemn every stacy to a life of cats and box wine.

>>38768752
>taser

lmao, one of the first things i would do is a gun. I just kill anyone who crosses me. Tazers beat guns everytime, it's like rocks versus scisccors.

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>>38768726
pls be my creepy bf

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>>38768722
>last man on earth
>government distributes and genetically copies chad's semen so no one has to fuck you

>>38768809
yeah i guess i overestimated women and expected them to keep things running.

>>38768851
are you a boy or girl, anon?

>>38768626
Humanity would be extinct either way. There wouldn't be enough genetic diversity to propagate the species. That's not even mentioning all the infrastructure falling apart including nuclear reactors now that fifty percent of the planet's population is gone. You're probably just better off killing yourself rather than watching society implode.

>>38768599
This is how it's going to go, spergs

>you'll get lynched by a mob of women

There's enough sperm banks to easily repopulate the world of men; you're not necessary. Your best case scenario is you getting thrown into a back of a government van, and getting experimented on in a blacksite somewhere for why you survived the event that wiped out all other men.

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>>38768907
wow what a dumb poster

>>38768907
>women
>organized
Without men the world would descent into anarchy. Government? Of women? Don't be ridicolous. You could probably lead some gang of cannibals, being the only man it wouldn't be difficult to defeat your rivals, but even then you would have to set up farming or you would run out of people to eat eventually and starve.

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>>38768933
>wow what a dumb poster
>posting gay ass anime
the irony.

>>38768933
you could just type "I'm a subhuman weeb" and it'd use up less bandwidth than that picture. People would discard your point either way.

>>38768599
Realistically, I need to get my cum to as many women as possible as fast as possible. That doesn't even mean living out some fantasy of fucking every woman on Earth. That means figuring out a way to store and transport my sperm effectively. I need to be in contact with a sperm bank or some mad scientist lady or some shit. It might make perfect sense to give up one of my balls if that's what's necessary.

>>38768933
>>38768977
>>38768988
nice double numbers 3 in a row. that's huge. wow.

>>38768599
I'd hold a gladiator tournament and only the strongest and most ruthless may win the prize of formally courting me.

I'm a role reversal pervert so now I have a boner.
Splendid.

>>38768599

You wouldn't necessarily get laid in that case because sperm banks exist.

>>38768977
>anarchy makes my life easier!
>muh mad max chieftain fantasy

Please. You can't talk to women when you have a comfy 1st world infrastructure and food's on the table every night. At least with an intact government you have some chance to stay alive. Have fun 'defeating' a dozen armed cunts who want your gonads as a hood ornament and are firebombing your hidey hole.

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>>38769028
>>38769037
>>38768907
>trying this hard to give up

whew I wonder why you guys don't have girls now

>>38769037
I am a master strategist. I would find some way to defeat my enemies, and I would succeed, since women are both mentally and physically inferior to men.
Another problem is of course that humanity would become heavily inbred, since I would have to provide 50% of the genetic material for all future bloodlines, but I would fix this by havin a highly diverse harem of concubines.

>>38769055
anime reaction collectors need to be gassed

>>38769055
Not everyone here is as massive a loser as you, weebshit.

But keep pretending you'll win 1v3Billion+ odds when your greatest achievement is shitposting on Cantonese Cat forums.

>>38769065
>I am a master strategist

Because this is where master strategists congregate. Sure thing.

>humanity would become heavily inbred

confirmed for knowing next to nothing about genetics, mr chessmaster

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>>38769065
>master strategist

>>38769074
>no internet
>no postal service
>my country doesn't even have fifty million people
>make that 25 million and they are all girls, spread out far and wide

uh huh, yeah I could handle it.

>>38769089
>Because this is where master strategists congregate. Sure thing.
What a stupid thing to say. Master strategists can go wherever they please.
>confirmed for knowing next to nothing about genetics, mr chessmaster
I have a bachelor in biology, but please explain to me how I am wrong.

Who's to say they don't imprison you and strap you down and have a machine jerk you off into a cup 4 times a day?

>>38769109
People who only have sex on their mind, always find some way to construe every action as an elaborate mating strategy.
It is a fact that there doesn't exist any woman on this planet who could best me in combat.

>>38769112
>none of the modern comforts you wholly rely on
>no survival or combat training whatsoever


You'd be drawn and quartered by a pack of feral outdoors dykes within a week. Or castrate yourself in a vain attempt to fit in. Either one, really.

You know there's a comic, y the last man, that deals with this exact situation

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>>38769145
>implying I have no combat training

>>38768599
I think as the last man on earth in regards to the average American would only be useful for sex with desperate women and I'm pretty sure people would use sperm banks to have kids, even then they could give birth to males

If sperm banks weren't possible then painful extraction against your will, maybe rape

>>38768599
This would create a massive genetic bottleneck, causing extreme inbreeding that would ultimately cause the extinction of the human race anyways

>>38769140
sure thing, Napoleon. Go strategize your way out of a hundred lawless broads setting your shelter on fire to smoke your smug ass out. Or the insane sociopaths with access to military hardware that can literally disintegrate you.

Keyboard warrior through and through. lemme guess, 14 minute mile time at best?

>>38769176
I'm not implying it, I'm saying it.

You have none. at all.

>>38769140
What about those female MMA fighters like ronda rousey? I dont think theres any dude on /r9k/ that could beat her 1v1

>>38769228
I'm a veteran.

>>38769236
you don't even need a muscled up pseudohermaphrodite to kick his shit in.

Literally any female trained in small arms could destroy him easily. And that's just small arms.

>>38769208
How would they do that? They would be starving. They would panic. They are women, inferior to men. The minute something goes south, they lose their mind. I, on the other hand, posses a stoic willpower unmatched by any woman. I would be their only hope for survival. Through my leadership they could work together. Without me, they would like animals, fighting over cans of dogfood.

>>38769237
In gorilla warfare, with 300 confirmed kills.

You're talking out of your ass.

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>>38769120
I can beat 4 times a day. Seriously, just load me up on zinc and supplements and shit. If my purpose in life is to cum as many times as possible into a receptacle, I'm sure I can become the Michael Phelps of cumming. I could cum 10-11 times in a day when I was a teenager, and the fate of the world wasn't at stake then. If I have to devote all my abilities and efforts into cumming, you'd better believe I'm beating 4 times a day.

And if you threw porn and hentai in there or had girls coming in to caress me and breathe down my neck and stuff, I'm sure I'd be able to crank out even more.

Fuck, we could streamline this whole process, too. Receptacle machine in my cell for cum. Porn tailored to my tastes. Actual women for me to fuck, (but cum in the receptacle) so that I get exercise without having to take time away from cumming. Some kind of feeding tube with nutrients and drugs to make me the ultimate manslut, hooked up to a mask I can't take off. Some kind of electric implant up my ass and next to my prostate.

>>38769236
I could tke Ronda Rousey. I have weight advantage, reach advantage, strength advantage. She may have an edge in technique, but honestly I doubt even that. I have watched how clumsily she moves when she fights.
>>38769262
Keep dreaming honey.

>>38769273
>muh male superiority

If your sole appeal is that you're male, you have nothing going for you.

Enjoy eating .45 ACP aspirin while you whine about the gynocracy.

Already married with three kids, I suppose I would leave it up to my wife to whore me out for profit.

Although im pretty sure she would try to make me crossdress to hide me because she is jealous as fug.

>>38769276
well that's nice mister, I have no kills, but they gave me a medal nevertheless.

I turn myself over to my nation's government. My life would no longer be in my hands, I would do my duty.

>>38769295
You really think you could beat ronda rousey in a fight?

Dude she may be a roastie but shes a UFC fighter

>>38769297
That is not even coherent english. It is a fact that I am smarter than any women, stronger than any women. Sure, there are other men who could defeat me, but in this hypothetical scenario they are dead. The world would be easy pickings for any half-decent man.

>>38769292
The most likely scenario is they fashion a direct feed from your vas deferens, pump you with drugs, and keep you in a cage for life. Can't risk you getting a heart attack through manual ejaculation.

Only have sex with whites and nips and save the species.

>>38769324
>smarter than any women
What element have you discovered?

>stronger than any women
what's your lifting stats, right now

>>38769319
So what? She has been taught mma and she is good enough to compete with other women in her weight class.
I am still much bigger and stronger than her, and I know martial arts too.

>>38769327
Yeah, but drugs alone aren't gonna keep me alive or keep my heart healthy. You'd at least want to have electrical stimulation of my muscles or some other kind of forced movement, right?

>>38769356
Shes a professional fighter, though. Its literally their job to train to fight almost everyday. And she was also a judo olympic gold medalist

Idk man. I dont think you could beat her that easily

>>38769382
>buy gun
>shoot her

gg woman

>>38769360
As much as a solitary prisoner gets, probably (1 hr of 'yard' time out of 24). Better hope they don't figure out spermatogenesis in vivo or learn to keep your gonads functional detached from you.

Depending on who's in charge and how compliant you are, they might just stick you in a coma and have a nurse turn you over periodically to prevent bedsores.

>>38768892
Surprisingly not true, there have been one or two of these bottlenecks already in human history and they had much fewer women. If Anon could pork five or ten thousand different women who weren't closely related we'd be solid and he'd be the ancestor of all future men.

>>38769347
I don't see how discovering an element would make you any smarter than you already are.
>what's your lifting stats, right now
Who cares how much you can lift in 1 or 2 reps. In a fight, endurance and flexibility matters more.

>>38769396
Point was if he could beat her 1v1 retard. Anybody can kill a world class martial artist with a bullet

>>38769407
>keep your gonads functional detached from you
Right? Even that makes more sense.

>>38769382
So what if she trains every day. Do you think a mouse that trained every day could beat the mighty weasel? No. A mouse always lose to the weasel, because the weasel is physically stronger.

>>38769423
okay, well just because I have a gun doesn't make it not 1v1

could probably kill her without it anyway but why take the chance, I'm the last man on earth just shoot anyone who looks at me wrong because she might kick me in the nuts

>>38769420
>I'm not going to actually demonstrate intelligence, you just have to trust me when I say I'm smarter than ALL women

Sure thing. Par for the course with your delusion.

>endurance and flexibility matters more

women have you beat on the second, and let's see your marathon times, then.

>>38769440
Isnt the whole point of martial arts like BJJ and Judo is that a smaller person can defeat a larger, stronger person using technique and leaverage?

>>38769439
For the most realistic option, they'd just consolidate all the sperm banks, make a registry of women most likely to conceive, and start a repopulation program.

You might just be kept around as a science experiment (to see what wiped out all other men) or a pet for some oligarch. It might end well.

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>nice thread about imagining what you would do if the world was given to you on a platter

>no bro my martial artist could definitely beat yours in this fantasy scenario you're such a dumbass

>>38769454
>Sure thing. Par for the course with your delusion.
Women are simply inferior to men. That is all there is to say. They were not built to provide, they were built to give birth. They cannot handle stress, they do not have keen strategic minds, they are weak and pitiful and would probably pee their pants in they met on a dark road with no one around. It would be like fighting children. You have been watching too much television and movies where women are capable characters.
A woman maybe can beat in a marathon, and another can lift more for 1 or 2 reps, but they are different women. I could take both of them in a fight.

>>38769207
Gotta keep on keeping on fampai.
Can't voluntarily throw in the towel on your species because the odds are somewhat stacked.
That's a betrayal of everything that led to you.

>>38769468
Why do you think they have weight classes? You might be able to throw some big drunken guy if you catch him off guard, but someone alert and committed to harming you, who is also much stronger and bigger than you? No chance ms. miyagi.

>>38769497
Not doubting you could fuck up most women.

Just highly doubt you could fuck up a pro mma fighter.

>>38769486
Right; sperm banks are a thing.

Still, though, I wonder if the option that makes the most sense is the one that would be taken. We're assuming that science, technological progress, transportation, medicine, and society itself would still exist without men, as though all men could vanish and women would simply keep the gears of civilization moving and figure out a way to get sperm. As though that's all men are necessary for.

Maybe that's a crazy assumption. The "most realistic option" isn't that.

>>38769516
>boasts about how he can overcame any woman through various means
>gets questioned on his qualifications
>evades every single question
>'w-women are inferior, o-okay? I don't have to qualify myself'

To men in general, yes. To you?

bahahahaahahahaaahahaahaa

There's a reason you've been avoiding every single objective metric. Everyone knows it.

>>38769542
Earlt UFC had no weight classes, and Royce Gracie (who was much lighter than his opponents) still won

Also several fights in Japan have gone the same way. Kazushi Sakuraba is a fighter known for defeating opponents much larger than him using his grappling technique

>>38769557
I am above averages in size, intelligence, endurance when it comes to men. So men in general would include me.

>>38769543
holy fuck this isn't a fake bullshit ring match jesus christ just punch and kick the shit out of her until she stops moving

done

>>38769564
She could try to pull some grappling on me, but I would just punch her in the face, because my arms are much longer than hers.
It's over after one punch. Her nose broken, she falls down and begins to cry.

my sister is a literal crossfit champion she wins all sorts of contests

one time I challenged her to knuckle pushups, normal pushups, but you do it on your knuckles

she did a few

>>38769574
Yet you've repeatedly avoided providing a single verifiable measurement for any of those things. How convenient.

The only thing that's 'above average' in you is your ego.

Realistically id come on /r9k/ and tell roasties to go away reeeeee get off by board women cant be robots

>>38769598
Hmmm. Idk if that would work, anon.

>>38769602
How are you going to verify whatever I claimed, dumbass. I could tell you I bench press 400 kg and have an IQ of 200. Think before you utter such stupidty again.

>>38769616
>how does someone verify lifts on the internet
>it completely escapes me

kek. we just verified you have a below average IQ; that's for sure.

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>>38769612
haha I guess it's back to le reddit for me

>>38769647
Lolololol. Homeboy BTFO

>>38769526
Can and would, humanity can suck my balls

>>38769647
So tell me how you are going to verify how much I lift.

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>>38768599

Reality: I'd kill myself and put an end to the whole mess right then and there.

Fantasy SciFi Option: I have access to an army of highly advance machines with which to design, harvest, and plot a genetic lineage to inherit the world, as well as keep my body and estates safe from the feminine barbarians that would use me as a breeding stock for their own hordes. But even then I'd probably fall for an AI gf mech, and spurn the savages that destroyed humanity

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>>38769727
You tell us mr master strategist. Apparently even the manlets at /fit/ have it figured out.

>>38769789
You think I should go down to the gym in the middle of the night and record myself lifting?

Not going to happen you stupid coon. Got any other suggestions?

>>38769705
I'd make it my business to ensure you weren't the last pal.

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>>38769824
>You think I should go down to the gym in the middle of the night and record myself lifting?

A real Hannibal, right here

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>>38769986
Whatever. your erratic cooning is not worth any more replies.

>>38770020
Yet here you still are, struggling to find a proof that simple broscientists have already found out.

Kek; the only time you can ever win over women is in your fantasies.

I would laugh pretty hard, as all the size whores lament that the last man on earth is only packing a 4-inch pecker.

>>38770416
just lie

and smash all the rulers

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>>38768599
we have the technology to turn women's eggs into sperm if i'm remembering this right, there's got to be at least one female scientist that can do it.

other than that i'm ugly as shit so i'm sure most girls would rather be lesbians than fuck me, but i'd have sex with the ones who would be okay with me .01% of all women on earth is still a lot

also i'd make a reality tv show where women can challenge the last man on earth to a fight, 1 endless round no stoppage until submission or knock out. not because i hate women but because i like bullying the weak

>>38768892
Not true, all blue eyed people are the descendent of ONE man

>>38770924
holy shit what a retard, that blew me away senpai

I would cross dress as a chick and only reveal my true identity to hot chicks.

Propably get detained and put in quarantine or something until society collapses.

I'd quit my job and travel town-to-town fucking a different woman every night in exchange for room and food.

Women still enjoy sex and as the only man on Earth, I'd be valuable enough to do that.

You all really underestimate how crazy some women are. You really think you can just pump and dump all those women? One bitch will cut you up.

>>38768599
Jokes on them im sterile

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>>38771632
>being so weak a woman can kill you

>>38768626
>implying women could ever be this organized

>>38771665
Men let their guard down for women. All it takes is for you to turn around and then the knife does the rest of the job.

>>38771705
If you're really concerned, I'm sure the government would offer you Big Bertha as security if you're the only man left on Earth.

Kind of like those endangered rhinos in Africa have armed guards with them around the clock.

>>38768599
I'd literally just rape the women who are genetically qualified to have the best child I could have and chain them up in a monkey cage until birth in a basement.

>>38771805
>Thinking you'd need to do all that.

You're the last man on Earth. Women would be lining up to have your babies.

>Be last man on earth after an extreme apocalypse
>Bunch of stupid cunts find me
>Shocked to find a man
>I start vomiting everywhere
>Scream autistically at the top of my lungs
>RAPE! ASSAULT! CIS PIGS!
>They ask w-what's wrong
>Tell them I am a PROUD transwoman
>They bow at my feet and I am taken to the diversity council, the absolute elite of society

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>become last man on earth
>just me and my dog wandering the wastes
>find bunker full of females wanting sperm
>they all just wanna fuck like crazy
>I'm still ugly
>they fuck the dog instead

Why can't I just die already

>>38768752
>tase the last guy on earth
>he falls over and hits his head on the curb, dooming the human race
Holy shit women are retarded.

>>38772134
doggos > roasties
good movie

>>38768599
women would still not fuck you.

>>38768626
At least we have a smart robot here

>>38769292
You've put an awful lot of thought into this. You wouldn't even need to be restrained, would you? we'd do it anyway for the lulz

>>38768599
Castrate myself and smugly parade my eunuch self around the world. Seeing the roasties panic as they realize there's no more cock on earth will be worth the sacrifice.

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>>38772540
Ahaha
Visualizing that scenario made me kek