ITT: We live in the same house

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>>38696019
>tfw the other anons find the cummy container

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You guys ever notice how clean the shower is? It's like no one ever uses it.

I'm leaving my chicken nuggets here, don't eat them.

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>tfw the gay orgy and the trans orgy are happening at the same time and I can't cross to the kitchen to get my tendies without slipping on semen on the way there.

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>>38696019
We'd probably never even talk to each other since we'll all be in our rooms.

>When I find someone's cum container, flee, only to stumble upon someone's defecation midget.

This is no place to live. Everywhere you go, someone has some bodily fluid or body part(s) stored somewhere.
It's like the Adams family on meth.

> why are there a bunch of anime cosplaying black women in the basement?

>Hosting the midnight circle jerk on YOUR bed

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>so thats 5 meat lovers, 3 pepperoni, 2 plain cheese, 7 supreme, 6 BBQ?
>okay that'll be $97.95 usd plus tip

>>38696258
>Implying any of us have the mental capacity to order a pizza

>>38696258
B-but pizzaman, my mom didn't give me my allowance yet in the mail...

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Whose house is it?

>no one works
>no one can drive
>no one has money
>no one leaves their room
>no one does chores
>no one can cook
>no groceries
>everyone dies in a week or two

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>>38696101
>>38696131
>>38696142
>>38696170
>>38696174
>>38696204
>>38696258
>>38696277
>>38696370

feels like the home i never had

>doesn't come out of room for 3 days

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>>38696258
>drop trou
>guide his hand slowly down towards my greasy whiteys
>whisper seductively, "It'll be just the tip tonight, delivery boy."

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>>38696370
But that would make for a really comfy week.

>>38696370


it sounds awesome, i will sell the house after you are all gone and pocket the loot hahahahah

>>38696595
You'd slip on a cum-rag and die on the way out

Would you guys get mad if i played one song on a continuous loop?

>>38696609


i have janitorial experience, i m used to cleanign up shit.

i can sell that house for like 300 grand,

and then have a hooker orgy and blow the rest on Ethereum

>>38696636
Not if it's Puru Purin from N.H.K.

tf when theres hanging bodies in every room

STOP SHITTING IN THE WASHING MACHINE BILLY

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>>38696116
what kind of loser eats chicken nuggies? tendies is the ultimate robot food

>Have to clean the fembot rape dungeon again.

Who shat in the fucking sink

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>tfw other robots locate the scrotum scraper

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>>38696401
I'm trying to sleep, my dude

>>38696883
it's the strangest thing, they are absolutely filthy but their feet seem like they have been licked clean...

I'd multitask games and YT videos at the same time in my room with some other chill anons.

And if someone steals my snacks, i will break their bones

Meanwhile I'd also empty all Colas without anyone noticing

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>>38696019
uh somebody at the door

>>38696370
I can cook and love doing yardwork. Fuck off.

>>38697126
You're a lvl 54 Housewife, the fuck do you think should we expect from you

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*KNOCK KNOCK* FBI OPEN UP

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>>38696019
what's that smell coming from every direction?

>>38696747
But anon, only 2 restaraunt in a town 10 miles away sell tendies, and only 1 is good. :^(

>>38696101
>implying there isn't a gallon of cum blocking the drain

>>38696019
I baracaide myself in the room with the router. $100 bucks for the wifi password.

>>38696019
>shit tier mcmansion
please i wouldn't be caught dead living there

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>>38696019
DID THE TRAP SEMEN DEMON ESCAPE THE BASEMENT AGAIN?? WE HAVE TO FIND HIM BEFORE HE GETS TO THE POLICE

Im not a gringoloco

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>>38697196
guys wtf not funny my ass is bleeding now

>>38697224
If I dont have 4chan to browse I will board up your door and light the house on fire.

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*unbuttons front pajama pant door*
J-just a quick sink tinkle...
*fountains of reeking yellow piss flood the tiny bathroom sink*
*won't go down fast enough*
H-hah, guess someone pissed in this sink before I got here, yeah that's what happened
*checks hallway before bolting to single room*

>>38697237
You guys will never catch me.
I'm tired of constantly taking all of your smelly neet cocks. I want Chad's dick.

>>38696019
>that faggot anon keeps trying to play willy wars

>>38696958
You fucker stop reading my mind.

Schizophrenic anon keeps cumming on the silverware, can someone please tell him to stop?

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WHO ATE THE DELLISIOS!?!?!!

I'm suprised no-one has killed each other for the basement yet

>>38697376
thats the femanon rape dungeon

>>38697323
the spoons reflect their frequency, only a high viscosity liquid can dampen the reflection of that sound, how the fuck do you expect me to stay safe
"Don't wear the tinfoil hat it's creepy"
"Don't cum in the silverware"
"Don't tinfoil wrap the rooms"
"Don't order balls of blacktar heroin online"
You're probably brainwashed, hence you being this FUCKING DENSE.

>>38697348
They had nanotrackers in each chip, I did you a favor you owe me money for the fuel I used to burn that shit, I'm almost out.

>walk into the wrong room
>trip over some piss jugs
>spill on another anons computer running Linux
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>run out of room
>slip on cum rag
>crack open my head
>get up in a daze
>make it to kitchen
>fall into another anon's fry daddy trying to make deep fried tendies
>suffer 3rd degree burns
>die of shock

>>38697207
You, anon. We're all pretty sure it's you.

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>>38697289
GET BACK HERE YOU SMELLY NEET BITCH

What the fuck guys how did all the water in the house get replaces with diarrhea?

>>38697405
inb4 accidentaly burns down entire house

>>38697470
Idk but I'm pretty sure someone jerked off in the hot water tank...

"Someone smeared shit on my waifu bodypillow"
"I miss mom"
"Let go Anon12956, these are my tendies"
"I want to fuck Anon497, the one that looks like a trap"
"H-hhhey guys *tips fedora*"
"Is there any good cuck porn?"

IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO DO YOUR DISHES

HOLY HELL I NEED TO CLEAN MY BONG AND THIS SINK IS SO FULL I CANT GET TO THE FAUCET

>>38697535
"Fuck you all, basement is mine"

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0uyx46QX1Vj

>>38696258
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PINEAPPLE?!

>>38697535
"Dibs on the attic"

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>>38696258
>23 pizzas for less than $100

>>38697614
All i want to know is where the fuck are the chicken wings?

Who keeps blasting the Cyndi Pauper at 2am?
If I had the guts to leave my basement enclosure there'd be hell to pay

Are there any clean towels? I knocked over one of my cum jars

This house is probably going to be quarantined as a biohazard by tomorrow telling from the amount of piss, shit, and semen everywhere

i got my head stuck in between the stair railing can someone help

>>38697653
> what is Cici's?

Who let the female out of the gas chamber?
I told you to keep the padlock on the damn door.
Also, if anybody touches my god damn bottled tea I'll stab them in the face.

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>>38696101
That's because I'm always in there anon.

>Goes into one one the bathrooms, specifically the one with the largest shower in the house
>Cranks the hot water to max, barely any cold water
>Turn shower head so that is faces the wall
>After a few minutes, the bathroom turns into a fucking mega-sauna
>Turn the cold water back on, but only a little bit of it so that the water becomes tolerable when touching human skin
>Turn shower head back to its original position
>Sit directly under showerhead for 2 weeks straight, hot water hitting my back
>Every month I do this

So anons, if you needed to shower, what would you do?

>another anon comes in while I'm thinking in my megasauna supershower
>"Um, excuse me? You're kind of hogging the shower..."
>pick up a bottle of shampoo
>make a huge sloppy ball of it on my hands
>jump out of the shower and throw it on to the other anon then proceed to scream an odd mixture of Japanese, German and English
>anon never returns to the shower

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>>38697251
dude.. the house is 4chan

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"Just a hypothetical question, but what if by a small chance I accidentally killed a fellow robot?"

>>38697451
I'm sorry, I've called the police. Chad is even part of the police.

Can everybody please leave the house for an hour? I need to poop

>neighbors demolish the house because of the unbearable stench

>>38696019
anyone think genuinely they will ever be able to afford this kind of house?

Perso I think I could in a couple of years, but the fact is I will be alone in it.

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Hahahaha this thread is fucking magical, 10/10 would witness again

Something's wrong with the TV. It doesn't turn on and there's a printed out picture of Ritsu on the screen.

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I leave a lot of passive-aggressive notes for the robots who leave their dirty dishes in the sink because I'm too cowardly to confront them face-to-face.

Who the fuck nuked their cumjug. We agreed they all go to me.

I'd probably get raped by one of you. ;_;

"STOP PULLING UR DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*BANKS WALL*

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Guys, I would really appreciate it if I wasn't the only anon here who had a job! Your NEETbux isn't helping out enough, I'm working 2 part-time jobs, I only have 2 hours of free time a day.

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>>38697237
Why do mentally ill faggots always ruin things?

Who took my onahole

>>38698828
>not your own turds
Its like you dont want the normies to fear your powers of wizardry

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GET OUT OF MY HOUSE FUCKING NORMIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*i walk in the house and puke in the shit fucked toiler* "hey fuckin bitches how about you get me a beer you little fuckin baby man" *punches you in the fuckin face cause you're a little bitch"

>>38702969
*i suck your dick* "mm yah yur daddys lil bitch hooo WEeEEEE"

>>38702987
* I SUCK EVERY ONE DICK IN THE THREAD * " HOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEE"

*SUCKS DICK* "mm yeah baby oh yehayeahhhh">>38703030

>>38696370
Not necessarily. The strongest just have to bully the weakest into doing those things.

>>38703116
>
mmmmmmmmm * sucks diiiiiiiiiiick* "yeah we in da dick suck house now, here, let me suck ya ;)"

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>a dozen autists wrapped in blankets and chilling in one room
>tranny sex dungeon
>karaoke night, robots screeching lyrics into the mic
>everyone's getting into each others' seminal sock puppets, doo-doo dimensions, etc.
>Cebruz sitting in the corner, moping
>two wizards fighting over a daki
>one normie who sticks around for some reason
>one wageslave working two jobs to provide for the entire house

>>38703169
*sucks. that. motherfucking. diiiiiiiiiick* "symphony of the night was sooooooo gooooooddddd, imagine playing it for the first time"

>>38703202
>not playing it for the first time

Who wants to do some shrooms in my room?

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ill be the one degenerate druganon you all express your dislike for in public but ask for shit from in private

>>38699989
sauce?
completely unrelated to my request, but I'm the guy who skids around the house on his socks screaming french

>>38703528

Ive been looking for you anon, mind getting your clothes out of the dryer? It's been 3 days now and i have a load to do.

Oh noe, OP found the orifice oracle

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So fart, the /r9k/ house includes,

>a single guy working two part time jobs to support the house and its inhabitants
>men that perform sexual favours for the pizza man so they dont have to pay
>only thing in the kitchen is tendies and chicken nuggers
>a janitor that wants everyone dead so he can sell the house
>nooses on every ceiling
>shit in the washing machine
>a dirty fembot rape dungeon
>constant fapping noises that can be heard all throughout the house
>different smells in every room
>a guy who has barricaded himself in the router room and demands $100 every month for the Wi-Fi password
>multiple trap semon demons hidden in a secret room under the house
>cheese grater toilet paper
>a couple of guys that piss in the sink instead of the toilet
>a fembot that is on a lifelong journey to find chads dick
>a schizophrenic dude that ejaculates on clean silverware
>a man that wears a tinfoil hat and believes that the government puts nanotrackers in potato chips
>half of the people in the house wear fedoras 24/7
>shit-stained waifu body pillows everywhere
>Cyndi Pauper being blasted out loud 2am every morning
>a wimp that always gets his head stick in between the stair railing
>a gas chamber in the garage
>a person that leaves passive-aggressive notes on the dirty dishes
>some weirdo that wants to suck everyones dick
>an orifice oracle
>a french guy that slides on the cum plastered floor using his socks
>deformed black women cosplaying anime characters in the basement
>a dozen men who all horde their semen in containers under the kitchen sink
>a demon with tourettes that lives in the shower
>a degenerate druggo that takes quests from the other inhabitants of the house and goes on adventures

wew lad

>>38696019
*stays in his room all day and only comes out to get food*

>>38703630
B-But anon, none of those are my clothes, they're all too small.

>house smells of urine, semen and body odor since nobody showers

>>38696258
>implying we wouldn't be ordering online