it is 5 am and i just fixed myself a rum and coke because my

>>38656105
I'm here, what's goin on?

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>>38656105
i was thinking of making a rum and coke when i got home (12pm), but decided not to. maybe now is this time?

anyway what's up?

I sipping on some white wine to have some company for my depression. How you doing op? Do you like horror?

>>38656113
Every other day I'm a girl with an aching boipucci, but when I wake up the next day I'm me again

>>38656113
>>38656117
i have realized i am never going to get a gf. and i i wish my friend would be more affectionate with me. she never tells me how much i mean to her or anything to let me know she cares.
>>38656135
i am doing not well. i am going to get some charcoal grills tomorrow and see if i work up the courage to light them up. i'm not much of a fan of horror films.

>>38656105
It's 5 am and the only girl I like is sleeping because she had work tomorrow while I stay up all night by myself :'(

>>38656187
how old are you anon? thats rough but if she didnt care she'd just ghost you

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>>38656105
alcohol is bad for you have you considered slashing your wrists in stead?

>>38656187
Eh, that's too bad. Horror was like coffee for me, an acquired taste that I really enjoy now.
Charcoal is one of the easier ways to go, make sure you don't burn your place down, causing property damage and putting others at risk as your last conscious choice is very inconsiderate.
Regarding the no gf problem, women are overrated anyways. They have their own private struggles and nobody will ever systematically try to save you from yourself. To expect someone else to assuage all of your insecurities perfectly without guidance is pure foolishness. Besides, once you accept the loneliness, you have more clarity to understand what you want and how to get it.

>>38656219
i'm 25. i think she does it out of pity even though i try to not to be a sadsack around her.

>>38656268
if it was solely out of pity she'd just move on, there's millions of people to pity but nobody wants to spend time consoling them 24/7, she obviously cares for you in some way, dont assume the worst

>>38656266
yeah i am thinking of putting two in my car and wearing a particle mask to avoid inhaling soot. what i want most in the world is a partner to share my life with. i found that taking care of animals helps with the loneliness but it will always be there looming in the background. i used to like the friday the 13th and freddy krugers

>>38656296
i ope you're right anonymous

>>38656343
i know so, your depression just makes you see the worst in every relationship

>>38656321
Play some of your favorite music and enjoy other simple pleasures in your last moments if you go through with it.
I get what you mean about it always looming there. I feel the same thing. I've just gotten to the point where I know I'll go for months or years without feeling happy or good but that's just what I feel and it's fake. Perception is reality and therefore reality is mutable self delusion is a powerful tool.

hope you have a better tomorrow, op

there's always someone who cares

>>38656554
thank you anonymous

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9O0N-8bwE

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>>38656105
Don't worry anon, all of us sometimes need some booze. If you are going to try hard enough you will end up happy.

>Feel numb and detached, want to get cough syrup from dollar store to abuse
>Go to buy it and clerk asks for ID since you need to be 18
>Clerk lady is fucking retarded and mexican
>Too stupid to put my birthday into their computer correctly so clerk refuses to sell me cough syrup despite being 19 and it saying so on my ID
>Day ruined, Can't even revel in my vices
>Going to go to a different dollar store today

>>38657126
Man fuck cough syrup anything is better than otc shit just get fucking weed and beer

>>38657161
Too young for beer and I've already sneakily drank as much of my parent's stash as I can
I have medical weed card for legal weed but I'm too poor. I'm a NEET shutin, dollar store is all I can afford and I can only afford that if I lie and ask for 5 bucks to get food on my mom's payday

I actually really enjoy cough syrup high though so I don't mind, I do really want to get some weed. My weed card is up in 2 months, I have no money to renew so I want a smoke for old time's sake, haven't smoked all year

>>38657213
Ah if you had friends you could buy pills for a few dollars

sip a rum and cola underneath the rising sun