How the fuck do normies actually do it when they simply meet

Anon, trying to understand it is like trying to visualize 10 dimensions. It's purely an abstraction for us.

>>38653022
Magic...they kiss or tell each other they have feelings and love happens

I fucking wish I could experience romance again

>>38653022
It's like you're asking how fish swim or how birds fly. They just...do.

>>38653022
they had the blessing of no autism

>>38653043
so what you're saying is that he should pick up a few science books?

>>38653022

For most people, they can just know what emotions the people they meet are feeling.

They know when someone is attracted to them, and can quickly learn what they like and dislike.

>>38653056
But I can't do it even if I apply myself. Even if I show genuine interest in the girl and talk to her about things she just eventually stops responding after giving me vague responses. Even if she may have initially been interested.

>>38653043
And if you asked any of them, this is pretty much exactly what they would say. It's not even really their fault, the notion that there are people who can't grasp such a basic human function is as alien to them as the notion that there are people who do grasp said function is to us. This is what happens when you aren't properly socialized.

>>38653022
The female decides immediately upon seeing and hearing the male speak whether or not she will agree to let the male court her. You've either got it or you don't.

>>38653253
I guess I just don't have it even on the interwebz

I kinda wonder if these girls ever find anyone after all. Or do they just keep saying "no" to all guys. Maybe they're the autists here.

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>>38653022
>Meet girl
>Sometimes they hit it off great or not, but regardless there is some kind of chemistry
>Become friend with girl
>Go get drinks, go hang out, make new and happy memories
>Talk a lot, discover that they share some values or find each other interesting
>Through experiences and talking, they see what kind of person the other is and how much they care for each other
>One of them realizes they developed feelings for the other person, gets jealous
>Hook up one night OR one person asks the other on a date
>Wonder if they want to go down this road
>Either they do or they don't

Pretty much it.

>>38653361
Doesn't work for me though. Never did. What is it about me that I cannot find anything in common with girls that would make them actually WANT to hang out with me?

>>38653042
>again
get out, norman

>>38653361
>Sometimes they hit it off great or not, but regardless there is some kind of chemistry
That is the mystery part.

>>38653361
Just remember that there is a time limit on this, and if you miss your window of opportunity it will never come back.

Or at least that's what I tell myself.

>>38653471
Mutual physical attraction, humor, demeanor, intensity, status... These all play a role in that stage

>>38653555
Trips of truth!
But not necessarily. I've hooked up and gone out with girls I've been friends with for more than a year. It's easier for me I guess because I'm sorta good looking and easy to talk to, but I've stopped doing this sort of thing because I don't want to lose friends because I was horny for a night.

>>38653617
Exact opposite in my experience. I only start to get romantically interested in a girl after knowing for a while, mostly because I misconstrue any form of female attention as attraction. Then I sit on months of self-doubt and search for signs, then I get rejected. I have to delude myself into think it was just because I took too long because the alternative is that I never stood a chance, and that would be too much for me to handle.

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>>38653022
Jus b urself :)

>Just got pussy last night

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>>38653865
You know when a girl is into you or not by looking at subtle clues desu. If they hit you up first, the way they look at you with the briefest glimpse of longing, the way they're hesitant to part from you when you guys are finally done hanging out, and the way she keeps you close by when you two are out

If you don't know what you're looking for and have poor EQ, then it can be a fucking hell. You really need to be able to read the social context.

>>38653952
Yeah well I think literally the only real clue here is that the girl is into you if she hits you up first. If she doesn't, in fact if she doesn't make the first step, then you can be sure that she's not into you.

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Ideally it happens naturally and you just .. are in the same place for long enough you end up getting closer and closer without even thinking till you realize your hand is holding hers and youve been talking and acting like man and woman. But its rare

>>38653952
Last girl I went out with hit all of these cues, then when I asked her out again a week later she said she got back with her ex boyfriend and that we should still be friends. I told her to fuck off.

I'm still mad.

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>>38654122
I had the same, even worse. She'd say shit like "I like your last name :) you're gonna have to give it to some girl one day :)" and few weeks later she messaged me "oh anon and just so you know, I'm seeing someone else so maybe we can remain friends?"

>>38653022
OP
All you need to do is talk to a lot of women. You'll have to deal with a lot of awkwardness and uncomfortable feels when they reject you but if you do this, eventually even you can find someone you connect with. Plus a good strategy after they reject you is to act like they're the weird one for not wanting to talk to someone in a public place, idk this fucks up sometimes but if you're gonna leave anyway its worth it and sometimes that extra push will make a girl give you a second look. You will fail. A lot. But dont be a little bitch and quit and this will work

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>>38653022
Y'all need to go for womyn in your own league.

>>38654122
I'm sorry that happened to you. Sometimes, people don't know what they really want and I'll admit, I've played my fair share of people because flirting was very fun. It wasn't fair to you and she did fuck up.

But Anon, if she ever apologizes and asks to be friends again, please say Yes. It feels shitty to not have forgiveness.

>>38654237
Wtf would she ever apologize to OP?

>>38654248
Maybe, maybe not. She's a girl so they're not expected to take the initiative in things like this. She probably feels like she's already offered an olive branch and OP took it and burned it, so she'll be hesitant to speak to him again. She would probably be relieved as fuck if he just said, I just want to be friends again too. No beef, no drama.

>>38654237
>if she ever apologizes and asks to be friends again, please say Yes

I legit didn't want to be friends, and I felt attracted to her. I don't want to be friends with a girl I'm attracted to. I'm just gonna feel like shit every time I talk to her since she's with someone else.

I already feel pretty shitty, I don't want to feel worse.

>>38653022
I've had a few girls but it always just feels stressful. You internally stress about watching your words and projecting the persona that they wanted to see (and that they fell in love with in the 1st place), while hiding your true self who is not meant for relationships. You constantly think of them abandoning you and leaving you heartbroken and empty... and after a few months, they prove you right.

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>>38653555
Just had one of these where my window of opportunity was about 5 minutes

>New girl starts at work
>Extremely outgoing and socially successful, unquestionably out of my league
>Gets hit on constantly by everything with a penis and occasionally those without
>Hangs out with my work clique all the time
>Stops by my office constantly to chat about nothing, like several times a day
>Lots of flirting
>Shit, is she actually into me?
>She immediately rebuffs every single advance
>Absolutely insists that I come to every after work event to hang out
>Go
>She ignores me
>Basically sit there and watch her hit on other guys the entire time, every single time
>OK, I'm friendzoned. Fine, whatever.
>Get drawn in just enough to not tell her to fuck off but kept at arms length
>Repeat this cycle for nearly a year
>Valentines Day comes, she leaves me a nice friendly card seemingly bordering on interested
>Respond in kind with humorous friendly card
>Already an incredibly shitty week for numerous reasons including but not limited to fever/sinus infection, peptic ulcer, and needing a root canal, at the end of day receive word that my grandfather is non-responsive (eventually dies the next day)
>Mental state bad, very bad
>Tearing up
>Not 5 minutes later she comes to my office
>"What are your plans for tonight? I had X, Y, and Z planned but none of them worked out."
>I... I just really need to go home tonight
>Ask to talk about it the next day
>Nothing
>Refuses to talk to me ever since, cut out entirely

The life of the beta male backup plan...
I'm genuinely pissed because while I was definitely into her, I was actually entirely content with being friendzoned. I'll take a friend over nothing. Now things are weird with the rest of my friends at work.

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>>38654542
Normieposter from before here. I'm sorry to say but you never had a chance. She's the kind of bitch who keeps men around so she inflates her ego, will go on dates but won't give it up just yet (or maybe never), and will be single for the longest time until she gets a Chad bf for all of six months before she gets bored and moves on. She never wanted to fuck you. She just wanted to keep you around to inflate her ego. Her inviting you to all these after work events are just her testing to see how much pull she has on you. Every time you said yes and she fucking stonewalled, you inflated this cunt's ego.

I know girls like this. The only good way to deal with them is to never seriously treat them like a prospective serious gf and just flirt. That's all they really want.

>>38654542
Sounds like she would have ditched you in a few weeks anyway, even under better circumstances.
It's all a race where the best Chad wins. Don't go out with girls from work

I feel that even if I ever get a qt gf I'll never feel love or I'll just end up fucking it up somehow

I dont even know what to do in my current situation.
>know a girl from vocational school, three years younger than me
>year and a half pass by after graduation before she contacts me out of the blue
>chat with her semi-usually
>dont know why this is happening, was at my worst mentally back then
>around last xmas text her if she'd want to meet up after copious courage gathering
>takes couple of months because both of our schedules are fucked and we live 100km (60miles or so) apart
>meet up with her
>no grand plans were had
>just walking around aimlessly, grabbing some drinks from the store and eating in some random place
>despite my social autism realise she's enjoying my company for some odd reason
>meet up with her second time, had enough courage to ask if she'd be my girlfriend
>denied of course, "I am just not feeling like being in one currently" and all that jazz, still had fun with the meet and it did not turn into awkward-fest
>still chat with her regularly, cant sense any bad blood
>3rd meet up, she is still not dating anyone, manage to ask it out indirectly
>found out she was part of small religious group (one of the thousand branches of Protestantism) and had a quite strict and guided time of growing up due to it
>tells me about it more
>suddenly it makes sense to me why she has not laughed me out being 23 years old loser living with parents while having a job, why she might not be that interested in dating, why she seemed very conservative and values family and friends more than random hook-ups
tl;dr have a female friend that enjoys my company and we are quite evenly matched but she has no interest in dating

>>38654913
>Girl out of nowhere hits you up
>still dead inside
>she soon realises and breaks up

It's a bad idea m8

>>38654285
Why the fuck would anyone want to be friends with a terrible person?

>>38654956
Move on. Respect the facts of the situation, don't make it weird, and look elsewhere. It's that simple. Any other course of action is lying to yourself.

>>38653022
You talk to them, you get to know them, if you aren't going to run into them normally you ask for thier number.

You text a bit, invite her to hang out doing something casual and talk more. Maybe you become friends, maybe you don't, maybe you start dating even.

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>>38654542
I'm basically chad's little brother, too bad I can't get any girl to like me for the life of me, woman automatically think your asshole even if proven otherwise.
I've turned into an extrovert in the matter of month's and I basically have all the confidence in the world, I flirt with girls at work all the fucking time but they always seem to be off and on, they're response goes from happy and exited to lukewarm, annoyed or irritated, I genuinely stopped caring and now I just say what comes to mind and fuck with people, at the end of the day it doesn't matter that I have a attractive face when there's taller guy's out there with better "swag" (they know how to speak with people and they can connect with another person on another level) and have more interesting lives, the people that used to invite me to do coke and get incredibly fucked up don't invite me anymore and openly talk about the places they're going to together with out you, they still talk to me like we're tight as fuck but they ghost me when they go out for some reason, people just don't like me, doesn't matter how much I try the girl's always finds the guy next to me much more interesting, the guys are actually cool as fuck and we joke around but always distance themselves once they see another group of friend's, I have a lot people to talk to but they don't really want me around, or that's what it feels like, the suicidal thoughts and the need to just give up have turned into simply not caring, I say what I want, I do what I want and I don't care what happens, rejection and embarrassment doesn't really exist anymore, It's worked wonders so far.

>>38654956
As long as she dosent get together with some Chad later on its alright.

>>38655114
He doesn't own her, she doesn't owe him sex, and she already told him she's not interested in him. Getting jealous over something like that is an immature response.

>>38655101
I feel like I was in a similar situation once, it might not be you, most people are jerks.
If you try to start again and be more relaxed and friendly and don't think much about girls you might have a better chance.

I have a Stacy sister so I don't need to think about social pressure from my parents. Haha!

>>38655169
You're right, I was just thinking about how shitty it would feel.

>>38655069
>>38655169
Right. Though guess there's no harm in having a female friend? As I said we get along fine but its not something serious, like no harm done to either side really.
Or is this the point where you tell me to stop lying to myself?

>>38653108
>stops responding
Internet doesn't count you autist. Body language is the most important form of human communication.

Now if you're speaking to a girl in public and she stops responding completely it could be a sign of a serious medical condition.

>>38655615
Sounds fine if you have something in common. Though weird she contacted you a year later and not in school

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>>38654231
I've talked to plenty of women. It never goes anywhere and it's a really frustrating experience because they're boring. Please give some real advice.

>>38654503
I've been there too anon and they left me of course. I could never actually maintain a relationship. It's like a fucking minefield

>>38654237
>But Anon, if she ever apologizes and asks to be friends again, please say Yes.

I can never do that sort of thing, even if I know they tend end up hating guts for it and getting hurtful.

If I wanted her enough to ask for a relationships in the first place I had already decided I valued her more then a friend.
She does not not feel the same, and I am not willing to juggle that imbalance in feels between us. And that is not even talking about the "and yesterday my BF..." shit that gets drilled in your heart.
No point in staying awkward friends or having apologies, I am not who you favor the most to you while you are to me.

>>38654542
Been there anon. She's probably autistic as fuck actually. At least she was in my case even despite being outgoing and social at work. Weird case of a hot hikiko

>>38655742
Well it was my pure ignorance back then.
We did get along really well at school but after graduation I was hell bent on on getting a job simply forgot.
Even then I just thought us just good friends or her as a little sister I dont have as dumb as that sounds.
When I then realised my autism and that I might've had a chance with her it had already been over a year and thought to myself it'd be just weird and creepy to try to contact her again.
Couple of months later she then contacted.

Yes I am probably autism incarnate.

>>38656083
Sounds fine, it's fine.
You might not like hearing this, but it's better than nothing.

I have a chad friend that still stays in touch, don't know why but he's a saint.
And an ex girlfriend (only one, a few dates and not even a kiss) that still kinda stays in touch, but I cut her off.

>>38654232
Why is his chubby son holding his face like that?

>>38655802
This. It's hard to talk to them if you have to carry the conversation and rip things out of her

>>38656609
yea it's hard i talked to a bunch of girls and no one would respond so i tried jyst being funny and i got a bunch of replies but it's fucking so hard to come up with funny shit to say when they don't say shit

i basically just kept going places by myself while inviting maybe 4 or 5 chicks i was constantly texting. i would send them a picture or two and you have to bring up other girls

i gave up and just went back out with my ex she's a bitch but she's not a slut at least

>>38653022
By not being an autistic sperg. Us robots will never know that feel.

>>38654232
I would literally fuck a morbidly obese nugget
I have 0 standards

>>38656803
Yeah well I don't have the luxury of ex wanting me. Honestly I did talk to some girls who are good at talking which leads me to believe that it's either autism on their side or the nature of talking over internet. Could be both. I fucking hate internet conversations

>>38653022
Pic hits hard and right in the feels.

>>38653022
>tfw be talking to a girl and genuinely be interested in her
>ask her questions to get to know her
>she eventually stops responding

Why do I even bother at this point? No matter what I do I just can't get it right. And conversations over the internet are a fucking waste of time at this point