The story of the fifth grade fight club

I'm entertained, post part 2

>>38622473
Glad you enjoy it

>one kid name Ralph wanted to fight me
>i said okay
>he punches me, but i don't really feel anything
>he keeps throwing these wimpy punches
>laugh inside, but notice something
>there's a bulge in his shorts
>it's throbbing
>the sight makes me hard too for some reason
>we stop boxing to compare wieners
>his is easily twice as big as mine
>he says that makes me his "girl"friend
>everyone uses me to experiment with sexually

>>38622424
yeah part 2 anon, this seems good

>>38622424
u gonna post part 2 or not?

The story of the fifth grade fight club-pt.2
>the next day came
>it was a Wednesday
>I called the meeting to order
>there was this tall kid who was really into military shit
>we'll call him Giraffe
>Giraffe picks me as his first opponent
>we both move to the center of the dugout
>I was sizing him up, waiting for the first move
>his first barrage of punches were so powerful I could actually hear the wind snapping around my skull
>but, I'm a foot shorter than he is
>most of the punches miss
>I decide to stay on defense, tiring him out slowly
>30 seconds left in the round
>I notice that he always leads with his right hand
>next time he throws a punch, I strike his right rib cage with an open palm
>doesn't even phase him
>15 seconds left in the round
>his movements are getting slower
>suddenly, out of fucking nowhere
>he hits me with a bruce lee style back kick right to the side of my neck
>it sends me sprawling to the back of the dugout
>white dots appear in my vision
>am I dead?
>the rest of them start the count
>I somehow get up
>he's ready to finish me off
>I decide on one last gambit
>running close, I trip him up from behind
>he falls
>I put him into a painful full nelson until the round ends
>we have a lot more fights to get through, so we decide to end that one there
>he won by a narrow decision
stay tuned for part 3

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>>38623074
fucking kek holy shit, nice one anon

fifth grade fight club part 3.
>we reconvened the following Friday
>I knew who I would choose for my opponent this meeting
>this blonde douche bag from Guam named Ryan
>he was the only one shorter than me
>I knew this would cause problems, since I had only ever fought taller guys
>we squared off in the center of the dugout
>he immediately pinned me to the back dugout wall
>then he began landing punch after punch on my abs and stomach
>all I could do was send urgent nerve signals to my arms, which couldn't move
>15 seconds left in the round
>he continued pummeling until all my lower internal organs wanted to commit suicide
>between rounds
>I had no idea how I was going to win
>but I couldn't get beaten
>he would never let me hear the end of it
>round 2
>before he has time to think, I punched him right in the sternum
>then, with an unearthly strength I didn't know I had
>I lifted him up and Blind Sided him right into the chain link dugout fence
>I then let go with everything I had, pounding him with punches
>imagine, if you will, the sound of a dodge ball hitting an uncooked steak
>that was the sound of my punches
>he falls on his ass and has a thousand yard stare in his eyes
>5...
>4...
>3...
>2...
>1...
>I won by knockdown
>he lifted up his shirt
>we could see marks from the fence on his stomach and it was completely red from blunt force trauma
stay tuned for part 4

fifth grade fight club-part 4
>my next fight of note would happen three months later, on a Monday
>I was fighting this effeminate, arrogant fucker named Jesse
>to picture him, think of Bill Gates minus intelligence and muscle mass
>I couldn't wait to fight him, It was going to be a cakewalk
>round 1
>he started our fight by running at full sprint to the opposite side of the dugout
>my sides
>he then jumped up on the dugout bench
>he started screaming, "come and get me!" in the most autistic way possible
>I leisurely walked over to where he was
>he let out a high-pitched scream
>he then attempted to do some kind of street fighter flying kick thing
>missed me by two feet
>got his foot stuck in a hole in the fence
>twisted his ankle
>cried for five seconds
>I won by knockdown
>sides were burst all around
stay tuned for part 5-the final finale

Entertaining thread, quite

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>>38624128
>>he let out a high-pitched scream
>>he then attempted to do some kind of street fighter flying kick thing
>>missed me by two feet
>>got his foot stuck in a hole in the fence
>>twisted his ankle
>>cried for five seconds
excellent

fifth grade fight club-part 5, the final finale
>this was the last fight ever fought at our fight club
>I was fighting this guy named Connor
>Connor was unassuming in every way
>except he had the intelligence of a chicken on speed
>he began the fight with an interesting tactic
>curling up like a turtle
>I kicked him till he opened up
>I spent the rest of the round kicking him in the ribs
>end round one
>I thought this would be an easy victory
>round 2
>it turned out, Connor was slightly retarded
>as such, he was able to engage tard strength
>I didn't know this at the time
>when round 2 began, he let out a screeching tard battle cry
>he grabbed me around the waist
>and suplexed me into the dugout fence, head first
>I blacked out for a short period of time
>when I woke back up, we decided to end the fight club
>it lasted for three months
>to this date, it remains the most successful club I have ever started
the end

this
this is what r9k is for
not shitposts of autistic man-children whining about how they can't get a gf
but this work of art

we did a similar thing in my school, more like in 6th or 7th grade. the trick was we would fight standing on a creaky old wooden bench and whoever pushed the other person off first won. it actually brought the nerds (me and my friends) and the little jock dicks together in mutual violence. until we got yelled at and couldnt do it anymore.

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Fine story, OP. Let's make sure everyone gets a chance to read.

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Include me in the screencap famioli

>>38624689
please remove this it is too relatable

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Nice story, OP. You made r9k a better place.

My sides went into orbit at part 4

>>38624360
>Intelligence of a chicken on speed
>Engage tard strength

My sides have caved in on themselves and formed a black hole. Thank you for this.

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i hope one of those shitty youtubers does a video on this. haven't seen a decent greentext in a long time

that wasn't funny, fuck you OP

what a waste of time

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Screencapper!
Include me!

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Include me in the screen cap


Plszsz

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Been too long since the last good greentext

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best thing I've read in ages, well put OP. my sides are now well and truly gone

Judging by the response to this one, I'll definitely write more of these.

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Put me in the screencap coach

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good morning r/4chan

Bump put me in the screencap

oregano

It's been a while since I saw a screencap worthy greentext.