How do I kill someone and make it look like and accident?

just kill them by accident ya dummy

>>38604931
Ask Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell.

remember to say "oops"

>>38604931
Like your pic, just carry a large knife blade out and pretend to fall into the person.

>>38604931
Even if you succeed it's likely you'll get charged with involuntary manslaughter best case, and you're still probably doing some time.

That's if everything falls into place the right way.

You need to watch 48 Hours more regularly, to get an idea of the consequences if your plans don't go exactly the way you expect.

>>38604931
>buy bag of chewing tobacco
>soak in water a good 12 hours
>vap off water
>put nicotine in anon enemys coffe maker
>profit

>>38604931
Get them in your car then swerve off a bridge. Bring a scuba tank to use for yourself and hold the other person under. Also bring other diving equipment so when the cops ask why you had a tank you can say you are a recreational diver.

Put ricin in their drink

Go on a nice cruise. Make sure they get very drunk and "accidentally" fall overboard.

Happens more than you think

>>38604931
Provided you don't let anyone know you want to kill the person, and then murder them in the middle of nowhere and never talk about it, your odds of getting caught are about nil.

Most murders are "solved" because police interview people, start asking questions, and they crack. If they don't have any reason to interview you, ta da, you're free.

>>38604931
Run 'em over in your car and don't get caught.

I'd start with not asking how to commit murder on the internet

Knock them out and throw them under a train. Instant "suicide".

Silenced sniper rifle. The Beltway Sniper would have never been caught were it not for his snitch friend. If it's a one-off killing and it's done intelligently, the cops would never know.

>>38606499
That doesn't make any sense. Unless like you are hiking in a dense forest with no one around for miles and strangle a stranger from behind.

There is still going to be footprints, defense wounds, DNA etc. They are going to check cameras and tire tracks from all around. Everyone has phones that can be tracked. I don't buy it.

The correct answer is be black and kill another black guy

>>38606678
Well you have to play smart, obviously. Kill fast enough that they can't scratch you. Slick your hair down so none falls out. Shave. Don't bring your fucking phone. Buy a set of clothes/shoes (with cash) and burn them afterwards.

Buy a bunch of chewing tobacco. Extract all the nicotine. Posion victims coffee. Looks like they died from heart attack.


Jk

>>38606904
"Hmm this completely healthy 26 year old man dropped dead after drinking some coffee. Well shit happens let's forget about it lol"

become a snake man and get a big snake to swallow them whole hehe

>>38605066
lmao i am easily amused

I can see through your tricks, FBI spook

>>38607485
It wouldn't be instant.
He'd finish his Joe and wash the cup, leaving no evidence behind

>>38604931
Hire the Clinton Foundation to do it

Get a little kid or some handy cap. Tell him you'll give them a reward if they race you with a rebar (or scissors or something sharp), down to the guy you want offed. Race them and keep pace. At the last second before you reach the guy trip the kid. Kid trips and falls into the guy (because who would let a kid/handycap person fall?) abd the sharp object hits him whereever.

tell them to try auto erotic asphyxiation with you but don't save their life when they pass out.

>>38604931
You don't, know that you've posted your plans to 4chan.

step 1: fuck gay niggers until you have HIV
step 2: fuck your target
step 3: ???
STEP 4: PROFIT!

>>38604931
A random person or someone you know?

Put a snake in their boot

File: 1344274994759.jpg (145KB, 1025x800px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 1025x800px

>>38607485
who are you quoting origininininallaio?

>>38604931
Follow steps below.

Is it a person you know?

If you know them.

Do you ever get into fights? Or do you just not like this person.

Fights, they owe you money, any actual reason someone might know about you not liking them, even if it's a conversation with a friend like "FUCKING HATE CHAD" then you don't kill chad.

But if you just want to kill them, no one knows why, they don't owe you money, you just generally are a murderer and want to kill someone, probably don't.

The closer the individual is to you the worst.

However is separation is a couple layers(Dumb ass coworker) then you might be good to go.

The further separated you are, and less likely to have a motive that can be found out, the less likely anything comes back to you.

You can try and hide dna and fingerprints all you want, but in the end if they never get samples from you, which they need cause to do, you're fine.

As for the how to; killing a person isn't easy, and removing evidence is harder then not leaving evidence behind.

Got shoes? Now you get new shoes, or buy shoes just for your murder.

Got clothes? Now you get new clothes, or buy clothes for murder.

Don't touch body, use a means of killing that can't be immediately linked to you, and destroy evidence.

Don't hide evidence, destroy it. If you're hiding it, don't hide it anywhere cliche. Better to just burn it in a crucible to destroy the knife or also the gun.

Using a gun? Good, guns are easy to get and they don't actually record rifling. Make sure to destroy gun. Again don't hide it, destroy it.

Any separation from you and chad is imperative.

Before going out, clean yourself for a long long time. Afterwards wear a material heavy enough fabric nothing gets through it, put gloves on first, wear latex gloves under normal gloves.

Shoot, leave, don't panic, burn all evidence.

If it's a rando get your rocks off just go outside country do it and come back but remember to have no motive and not to be seen.

If you have a vehicle: Wait for the person to come outside. Put an animal in the street and reverse.
Then drive slightly over the limit and pretend to swerve out the way when you're really aiming for the person. This way you put yourself in danger. It might help to wear out the wire that controls the brakes too. Just so they can say they were out. Not exactly a pity story to buy the judge's sympathy with. But it should work.