ITT post how are you feeling tonight.

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hold on to the jewels !

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Crawling in my skin desu.

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Yikes!! we really lack feels threads

>>38601273
Pretty ok.
My rents fucked off where the fuck ever and maybe they wont come back.

>>38601273
Was going to vent but I don't even feel like doing that anymore.

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I'm just drawing while feeling like pic related

>>38601273
Is this really what you guys are looking for? You're so soft. It's unbecoming.

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>>38601273
I fixed my wifi problem after being without it for two weeks

>>38601273
where's that from? originally of course

I'm having a godawful toothache and i can't sleep, i'm so close to banging my head against the walls

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Stuck in the same shitty routine every day until I can move out next month.

Tired but I got to see my son today
>8/10

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>>38601273
Sick of doing bullshit just to get another job

>>38601273
lazy and worried that I'll slip back into depression

I just want to live off the grid. Accepted that I can't be happy doing 99% of the jobs/careers in a city. But I have a handicapped mother that needs me to help her around the house every couple of days. I love her, she raised me well, so I need to be there for her. I generally feel neutral, or not care about most things a lot of the time. Especially when it comes to money... It's hard to take it seriously. I want to be on my own, surrounded by wilderness. But here I am, filling out another job app and studying to take the USPS exam. Nothing but self hatred arises while doing these types of task.

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>>38602215
I can't do another round of depression. When it comes back..nifty it comes back.. that's it for me desu.

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>>38602852
*if it comes back

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I'm scared of reality but I know the longer I escape it, the more it will hurt when I return to it.

And I do this every. fucking. time.

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>>38602852
You're lucky, your depression ends. It won't go for me.

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>be 21 year old college student
>3 weeks from graduation
>drink to keep suicidal thoughts away
>mom told me she'll kick me out if she finds hard liquor in my room

Anybody got a place to crash?

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>tfw 20 kv
>tfw straight crushing on a girl
>tfw she's 17

What do i do lads. I don't want to commit a felony but I don't want to stay here the rest of my life

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>>38603080
My depression sometimes come back, or life just make the job for me, and I isolate myself.

Then half year after I try to change but all I got is became social phobic and strange.
It's a cycle

I haven't had a friend in more than 4 years, I just want to die so badly

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Just moved into my own place solo after living with family and roommates all my life

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>remove oneitis from my life
>she makes it hard
>have to basically scream at her to fuck off and never contact me again
>she comes back months later
>shes being friendly
>tell her to go away again
>days later she contacts me AGAIN
>feel myself slipping again
>feel everything falling apart
>getting sucked back in

>>38601273
Christ that hit way to close to home.

>>38601877
This girl is easily in her mid 30's by now.
I want to die.

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>>38603165
>tfw 20 kv
>tfw Straight crushing on her
>tfw she's 15

Whant to trade?

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>>38603678
lawdy no


Godspeed anon

>>38601273
Discovering that every time i look at yuri i am reminded of the girl i was with who was gay the whole time. now i cannot enjoy my favorite hentai anymore

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I'm 23 and I'm seeing all the people I went to high school with are finishing up with their degrees, starting their new careers, getting married, buying houses, having kids and going on vacation.


And all I'm doing is being a sad pressed cunt because I can't figure out how to fix my life. And I have no one to really help me.

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Original reaction Wojak

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I feel depressed. I just kept waiting for things to fall into place. They never did. My life is pathetic. I'm am utterly worthless.

>>38601565
Yeah i feel like life lost its meaning, venting on the internet its meaningless and i dont even know what keeps me going on, the only thing is this hollow felling that there's something missing.

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Took a shot, got out of my comfort zone, "justbeeyourslef" and all that - still got hurt.

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Just found out my ex and oneitis is back in my hometown with her new boyfriend

>>38601273
Source on the movie / show?

>>38601273
I think I know what it feels like to be dead
I feel nothing
I think nothing
I have done nothing
I am nothing

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>tfw no zone to live in

>>38601273

Miserable. I made the mistake of hanging out with girl I was going to ghost. She sends me mixed signals but she told me she's not looking for someone right now but is happy being my friend.

I really like her as a person. She is perfect to me. But I can't put aside how I feel for her and our friendship feels like she is using me. Yet she keeps drawing me in as I pull away.

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>>38601273
Those who played Fallout 1 might know these feels. You see pic related? Fuck them. Fuck them so much. You better hope your bitch ass is traveling with a caravan or some shit because every god damned time you step outside of an area you're almost guaranteed to face a swarm of these fuckers. If you luck out it'll be a small one that's easily dealt with. But if it's large? You're fucked if you're by yourself without OD'ing on stimpaks. You'll either miss if you have a melee weapon, or shoot one twice with A FUCKING SHOTGUN only to have them laugh at your face as they death slap you, or you'll just get completely overrun while they finish up ass fucking Dogmeat or whatever companion you may have. And the caravaners are borderline useless, they either miss, have no ammo, or die in 5 seconds. And while there's four of you guys, there's 10+ of these little shits. I'm trying to get some caps via caravan missions and these shitheads fuck it up. Raiders are easier to deal with. Fucking radscorpions are easier to deal with, they die after 2-3 shots with a decent weapon. But not the mantis, we can't have that, just have them laugh while raping your ass to oblivion. Fuck these green bastards, fuck the bipolar shotgun, fuck the hunting rifle, and fuck the sledgehammer which somehow doesn't squish their ass on the first hit.

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>>38603155
Oh shut the fuck up. You're about to graduate. Fucking bitch. At 21? Come on you're ahead of the pack by miles.

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just stopped caring about everything
might kill myself, might get a new job, might go back to being homeless
who the fuck cares

>>38601273
My friends don't message me, I hate acting like it doesn't hurt.
I want to break something and scream.
I want to hurt someone, I want to be feared.
I don't want to hook up.
I don't feel like masturbating.
Even with all the women I see on my dating profile shit or tinder, they don't interest me.
I'm fucking dumb enough to be attracted to my friends who already have someone or don't even want to send more then 4 words to me.
My brother and his girlfriend are travelling the country sightseeing.
I'm tired.
I tried sleeping but it doesn't work.
I wish my facade would break just so people can help.

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I'm feeling great mentally, a couple of really nice things happened to me recently.
My body won't cooperate though, my stomach and intestines are burning and making me feel nauseous.
I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours because of it.

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Business are not so great lately. Two weeks without landing any contracts. Living with the constant money uncertainty is not good for my health.

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I wish I could die in my sleep. Or maybe someone snipes me from my window. Something.

I don't want to kill myself, I'd rather be killed so no one can say I killed myself.

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Im getting another year older soon,I know its pretty common around here but Ive still never had a girlfriend or any sort of relationship with a girl.

I think every year I have been getting closer to the hurdle but at the same time Im also beginning to question my extreme desire but not drive to get into a relationship.

I do not really know what I would do with a girlfriend for one. Every time Im rejected by some one im perusing I feel like I have to shunt my emotional connection to them which makes me that little bit more hesitant the following time.


I am unsure of my path here,Is it sometime that will fall into place for me or something I must seek out again and again,Am I feeling social pressures from my own friends getting engaged and having children which is driving a desire to keep up?

Lieing awake thinking these things through I cannot yield an answer more a mess of more thoughts about myself and others.


I feel being content with myself is wrong even if im pretty happy because Ive never been able to make some one else think that im worth being with.

Its pretty hard when reality sinks in reminding you of this ugly fact. Girls dont want to spend their time with you. Im just a man who clings onto promise of hope while knowing I shouldn't hold onto it so hard.

>>38604532
Birthdays are honestly so depressing these days. I keep wanted to forget about it but my mom always tries something. She loves me but it hurts knowing i have no friends around to hang with.

>>38601273
Sick and hurting all over, bundled up in the middle of summer and drinking broth through a silly straw. Also depressed and lonely. Feels like a sinus infection and cold, all sinus areas affected though. Already slept all day so I guess I'm awake for the night. I'm out of pain meds and muscle relaxers. Got any comfy retro game recommendations for these feels?

>>38604601
Fuck, same here. Doesn't help that my birthday is on New Year's Eve, either, because everyone asks if I've found a cute girl to kiss on midnight.

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I felt like shit because i had to go to school, but guess what? they suspended for the night, so i'm pretty fucking happy i didnt have to spend my night in that shithole.

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>>38601273
you're not that guy anon
you're a good guy, and you'll find someone else
that guy was a just a little too self-absorbed and a little too unaware and he created his own hell.

>>38604259
>>38601969
it's from Gaspar Noe's love
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3774694/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
good movie

I just want to get a girlfriend and to leave this shitty city. My robot personality is the reason I can't do either one.

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>keep getting so mad i get headaches
>everybody laughs if i complain
>why the fuck is it possible to get headaches from anger
>this happened the third day in a row fucking end me
Why does this happen how do i not be mad fucking help

>>38604532
>Every time Im rejected by some one im perusing I feel like I have to shunt my emotional connection to them which makes me that little bit more hesitant the following time

Can relate to this. Each iteration you care a little less, and now I care hardly at all. Starting to not see the point anymore. Is this what becoming a robot is?

>>38604601
I enjoy the fact Im another year older to an extent its more the milestones I wanted to achieve I have hit a few but Im still at the starting line when it comes to long term relations.

Ive lost weight, Got my career going and reconnected with my own family and patched up our past pretty well to the point where I can drop home whenever and feel welcome again.


I have just lived my life standing on my own for so long I cant wrap my mind around how I would be able to have another stand with me.

>lost job awhile back
>lost apartment
>had to sell car
>forced to move back in with parents
>no luck with jobs for 9 months now

my life is a meme

>>38604866
What types of jobs have you been trying for?

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>>38604866
>lose all my money trying to go to school
>never had a job, car or house in the first place
>have applied at almost every place in town and still haven't found a job

I know the struggle friend

>>38604811
brain cancer or a tumor
get checked (also check those dubs)

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>>38601273
On the way back to work I played some sad jap jazz..I don't know what to feel...I feel empty.

I'm supposed to go to work in an hour and I've been awake for 10 hours. I feel terrible even though I'm not "sick", but I will call I'm not going today. I'm so tired it's even hard to breath.

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I wish everybody dies

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>it's another "stalk ex girlfriend and her current boyfriend" night

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i downloaded tinder for the first time
got like 4 matches over a 4 day period and I live in a city of 80,000 people filled mostly with latinos and asians with whites being the minority for sure. Anyway I met this woman who was about 2 years older than me. We went to a few parties at the local uni, and then went back to her place to which she made an excuse for no sex (she mentioned something about church or something like that, so maybe her religious values got in the way?) but she still sucked my dick. She rested on my chest for a long ass time and we held hands while cuddling. Unfortunately the cuddling was much better for her than me, as I was sort of in a weird position but I was too scared to break up the mojo. Now at the same time this one night stand is chasing after me and it's sort of scary.

Unfortunately I haven't texted that woman I met from tinder ( i have this weird thing where I don't talk to people after I jack off because it makes me socially inept), but she said she would be down to hangout again. So i'll make some moves tomorrow. Other than that I am still as empty as ever, and I have started binge watching anime for the first time.

Thank god this shit is anonymous because it's hard for me to talk about anything real. It's a serious problem with me. Most of my friends are female, so it's a bit hard to confide in them. My three best friends are male tho but idk how they view me. God I want to kill myself for not making more of my life. Is human interaction overrated?

>>38605802
bro if you are looking for a magic fix there isn't one

>>38605860
some lead and my skull seems to be the fix!!!

>>38604971
Wait really? No meme?

>>38601273
Pretty good, finally getting paid next week, making about $1600 every two weeks after taxes and I might have a date with a girl. If it goes well will probably I'll have girlfriend, if not I'll have more time to put into my own pet startup project that would have otherwise gone to dating. So really its a win win for me.

>>38603264
Stay strong my dude
Trying to work up the courage to leave my oneitis, I envy you
How did you do it?

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tired of human interaction, need sleep

>>38603741
I fell in love with a girl who turned out to be gay and now whenever I see lesbians on TV/movies I get visibly uncomfortable and upset

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Doing everything I can to distract myself. Constantly diving into games or masturbating or other degenerate activities to avoid thinking about the fact I'm getting older and uglier while accomplishing nothing with my life.

If I sit still too long it sets in and I start to feel sick. Getting in my car and driving takes away all of those distractions, and I feel miserable until I get to whatever my next distraction is.

>>38604903
>trying to go to school
as in you flunked out or what

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Work as a swim coach for a pseudo-private club and we go on "break" in 2 weeks, for 3 weeks. I'm doing whatever I can to cross over the finish line to my unpaid vacation, but I know in the back of my mind that it will be over before I know it and I'll be right back to a job I have no talent in, in a career that's been a dead end for more than half a decade.
I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

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>>38605624
fug man, don't do that shit to yourself, that shit kills you slowly inside
i made the mistake of looking at pictures of my ex and I together exactly once, and it fucked me up for the whole week, even though it had been 4 months

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Who gives a fuck man. my life is over just living day to day

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I climb up just to be struck down again.

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>>38601273
I want to fucking die. I've been staying up until 4am and raining. I feel like shit and smell like it too

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>>38606487
how, man? how do you just mentally shut down and not worry about anything? even when i try to accept my lot in life it comes back to hit me harder a day or two later

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>>38606638

What's the worse thing that could happen. i become homeless? so what. i researched how to live as a hobo so now I dont worry about it. oh yeah so maybe it will be uncomfortable for a week/month. so what. i'll live, i'll survive, busk, travel. I'll make peace with myself and continue to browse and read and distract myself

It won't be that bad. you will survive and adapt.

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youtube.com/watch?v=23F2KD2zn_Y

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I miss him sometimes /r9k/
Just cause sometimes he hits you
Doesn't mean he doesn't love you

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I don't think I'm ever going to overcome the effects of over a decade of social isolation

every single day I think about suicide

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A not-bad-looking woman kept staring at me with a slight smirk like I had something on my face on my busride after nightshift slaving. She didn't stop when I looked back and held contact after breaking it after a few seconds.
Eventually we got off at the same stop and I could still feel her stare on my back as I walked off and she waited for a connecting bus. When I looked back, she was still looking at me with the smirk.
I can't tell whether she was attracted or just looking to crash my self-esteem even lower.

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>>38601273
feelin like a sad sack

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I'm so fucking done. I'm not even gonna bother typing out how i feel because it's way too long. It's just a constant state of depression and remorse with paranoia to top it off. Life is a curse.

>>38603777
I'm headed down the same road anon. At least I won't have to deal with any unexpected changes. Once my parents are gone I can an hero and that'll be it.

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Soon I will be free at last. Currently stuffing myself with food, my last pleasure

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I can never resist these threads,

>Waking up later and later, going to sleep later and later
>not in college/uni, job isn't distinguished (cook at restaurant)
>few friends I had who were prime robot material left/grew distant after a few years together
>most vidya today doesn't cater to my tastes, waiting for something to come out that will, but nothing will ever be the same
>khhv
>excessive use of computer and vidya along with my shit genetics (short sighted since birth probably, I can only remember it when I was a little kid and onwards) is making me blinder every day
>losing ability to speak native language
>grandparents who don't speak english and don't live in the same country as me getting older, can't communicate with them as well
>parents getting older
>whenever my parents would talk with my grandparents over some computer application I would hear them argue about my grandpa being stingy and saving up money for me and my cousin
>grandpa wants me to succeed in life so bad
>same from parents
>I have to disappoint them all

>>38604467
>Oh shut the fuck up. You're about to graduate. Fucking bitch. At 21? Come on you're ahead of the pack by miles.
Ohh, whats this jumbled up mess, let me translate this for the rest of us.
"You accomplished something I couldn't, your feels are invalid!"

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Started talking and hanging out with ex gf for the first time in a year. I fell for it and we hooked up. I thought I was over her, now this shit.

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>>38601273

semi drunk and still in shock

this is also half brag half advice sorry for being a normalfaggot

> be 19
> only 2 years ago, I was 100% a robot
> I took pictures under girls skirts, couldnt talk to women my age, no friends whatsoever
> 1 year ago, join the military and now fix airplanes for a living
> skip forward to tonight
> dormbro (hispanic chad, but best friend ever) calls me into his room
> "bro I found you a girl, this chick im gonna fuck has a friend who wants some dick too, I sent a pic of you and she said shes down
> take my autistic possessions in my room (frog statue, prussian flag, openly displayed knife collection) and hide them all
> chug some sailor jerrys and soldier valley vodka, feeling gud now
> drive to base gate and pick them up
>girl is 6/10, hotter because of the liquor
> small chat with my chick, dormbro, and his girl, we all get drunk
> 15 minutes later go into my room
> turn on the devils dolls
> 5 minutes into it we start to make out
> foreplay for like 30 minutes, bang for 30 or 40
> she was tight af, innie, she only had sex with 3 other guys before and lost her virginity at the same age as me
> handjob, finger her, suck her tits, french kiss, slap her ass, grab her hair, she sucked dick like a champ, then I put on condom and nut inside her
> giggling and joking the whole time
> hug and she goes home

there is hope guys. I felt like killing myself at times because I never thought I'd fuck a girl. determination and sheer will is the only way. i only got here because i never lost faith, never lost hope.

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I got rejected the other day. The girl wasn't pretty but it hurt.

I want to do DXM but I'm still hungover and zombified from a trip I had last week.
I'm too poor for any other drug

>>38607554
>losing native tongue
I hate people like you. I've met lots of fellow countrymen online only for it to turn out that they'd rather speak to me in English rather than the common tongue.

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I can't fool myself

>>38601273
I just want it all to go away.

There's this Hella friendly puerto rican girl at work and I can't tell if she likes me or if she's just friendly to everyone

I don't really see her interact with any guys other than the two gay guys who work in the neighboring departments, and then other girls

She's kind of thottish / slutty looking, her Facebook consists of lots of pictures of her in different outfits, selfies, with booze in her hand

Idk if I should lean in and try to flirt and then make a move or just not bother, I'm only going to be working here another month then I'm going back to uni

I guess it could be a fling

So I guess I just feel kind of tired bit I'm tryna feel playful and happy and flirty

>>38604390
She's toxic.

The best thing you can do is cut her out of your life, after you chad up and fuck her ofcourse.

If you don't assert your Don't assert your dominance and that you don't need her, she will find you Moreno appealingly, after ghosting her for a while, fuck her.

She doesn't really care about you, I hope you find someone who does.

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>slept badly last night (usually get good sleep)
>been feeling weird as fuck mentally all day long
>can't really describe it, feels like a kind of derealization plus anxiety

What the fuck is happening to me

>>38607826
It's so fucking hard to speak something I only used up until age 7 or so man. I really wish I could be good at speaking it but I'm not. I can articulate my thoughts so much better in English.
>tfw ywn learn to speak Japanese

Feeling like shit. My mom told me 3 times tonight to kill myself because she hates me, and she was dead serious when she said it. Feels bad man. I was already feeling extremely suicidal.

>>38603209
are u me?
but this is my first time in the cycle...
its strange, youd think /improving/ would help your social skills, but im more recluse rn than ever before. hopefully i can be productive again soon...

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I accept i want to be alone. Girl hitting up on me. She's has a bf anyways. Slut trying to play with my emotions, pretty successful tho.

>26
>girls a plenty to fuck
>6'4 & Dutch
>graduating with msc in few months
>good job prospects
feels bretty good

Attempting to sleep on friends couch
Thinking about how my life is going to shit all over again

>>38608132

Well I just found out she was married after knowing her for months. So yah. She's just toxic and looking for attention.

>>38608466
Why are Dutch dudes always so tall? Is it something in the water or..?

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I feel fucking great. High on poppy seed tea but drank a cup of coffee so I feel alert. I've just been reading books and dancing naked all night, now I'm here.

>>38608672
Dutch people are tall as fuck because they need their heads to stay above the water in case of a flood.

>>38604466
Fallout 1 legitimately made me think about killing myself at times, awesome game but holy fuck do I know that feel
>get cool ass sledgehammer
>one mantis
>LUL say goodnight
>miss, miss
>mantis kills me
>alt+tab

I'm just so tired all the time both physically and mentally. I really can't stop thinking about leaving this shit country and never coming back but I don't have the money nor the confidence to actually do anything about it so I'll just sit here wasting away.

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>go to STEM meeting with my old high school teachers
>yes, I am so pathetic that I stayed friends with them
>meetings always have new teachers joining
>recognize a teacher from elementary
>she molested me horribly and ruined my life in different ways
>chest gets hot and feel tears building up
>push past everyone saying i needed fresh air
>go outside and cry my eyes out
>close teacher friend holds me and waits to ask about it
I'm sure you can imagine how I feel

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>>38601331
sableye is best mon

this is how im feeling op
>tfw my team (including me) just got triple killed by a fucking widdowmaker

>>38609324
I am pretty sure almost nobody knows that feel.

>>38603155
You are truly some sort of fucking idiot.

>>38609580
I can't really be the only one who's been violated, I figured it was a common thing for robots
Goddamn it

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>>38609638
I don't know the feel, but I'm really sorry that happened to you

>>38609648
Thank you..sorry is a simple word but it means more to me since most people think being molested by a female is "so sick dood!"

>>38602733
Similar feels here anon. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the hunter gatherer lifestyle of our ancestors, there's a certain beauty and serenity to it that modern life can never hope to match.

>>38604741
thank you anon, i'll check it out. originally of course

>>38604490
My best friend of nearly 8 years no longer "has the time" to hang out or even show up to a night out on my birthday. It really sucks losing friends, I'v literally lost almost all of the friends I made, and only a small handful will even talk to me now. I tried really hard to make new friends at work and uni but no-one's interested and I just get glares the day after I tried to connect with them. I know it's partially because I've become genuinely ugly over the past few years, and I was slightly above average before that, but puberty has been pretty cruel to me.

>>38607714
Are you ugly?

I feel like I could do all of that if I tried, but because I'm so ugly the only way I can come close is lifting and being ridiculously confident and extremely wealthy. The first 2 are inredibly hard for me to even begin to do.

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>>38601273
I am revved up for some reason. I have this desire to boot up a game and kill a lot of things. Yet I have to go to bed and apply for work tomorrow. Bloodlust is a terrible yet very satisfying emotion when I don't have to translate it into 3d.

>>38601273
Terrible. I usually feel worse at night, even though I hate the feeling of daytime.

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Bad. I have chronic pain and anxiety. People don't treat me well. My needs are not met or respected. I allow this to happen to me because I don't know any differently. People who would treat me better frequently enter my life, but I panic and run away from them.

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something like this I guess. but that's every night.

>>38610227
That image doesn't convey anything in particular

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I'm trying to do NoAll
>no 4chan
>no porn
>no fap
>no mobile phone

I wonder how much I will last. I've been 20 days without fapping and a month without 4chan, but not at the same time.

>>38608709
Poppy seed = opium?

It recently dawned on me that I'm probably never gonna have a meaningful relationship with a girl. I'm still trying to figure out if I can get through with just friendships and serous interests like art

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Today i need to buy some rope and practice tying knots.

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Uncertainty. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how to feel.

>>38610645
Affirmative, Sgt. Original.

>>38603256
>You will never eagerly and naively wait for Escortbro to post the next part of the story

>>38607763
>matthew

What is it with everyone and this name (myself included) being such spergs and betas

(except I'd not fuck up that bad)

At least everyone calls me by my surname

Frustrated.

There's a fucking hot coworker that's leaving for America who I would love to have a one night stand with, but I'm too much a pussy to bring it up, and the fallout from other coworkers or friends finding out would be devastating.

I don't want him to go but I can't wait for him to be gone so I can this behind me.

>>38601603
Post your drawing desu

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>>38601273
I'll just greentext my day
>wake up and go to work, feel more or less content until right before lunch
>coworker agrees to go to lunch with me
>ask him if he's ready since I've been waiting
>doesn't want to go because he is "feeling productive" and wants to finish what he is doing even though it will be there waiting for him after lunch
>whatever, go by myself to get lunch
>mood takes a turn for the worse, just intrusive thoughts coupled with him flaking make me feel like shit
>eat, drown out the noise of my coworkers all being sociable with music
>come back from lunch, adopt a mindset of being very productive to drown out the fact that at this point I am more or less suicidal
>mindset works for about an hour before I become sluggish and even more suicidal
>coworker asks me if I'm getting Destiny 2
>say no, I don't really play games anymore
>asks me what I do all day
>tell him nothing, just wallow in misery
>like always, anyone I say stuff like this to laughs it off like some fucking joke
>say nothing for the rest of my shift
>drive home, go to sleep around 11p
>sleep schedule is fucked so I woke up around 3a
>pick up an order of Buffalo Wild Wings
>makes me feel better
>finish like half of it
>here now venting on /r9k/ trying to make myself feel better

This is my life. I constantly shift from mildly calm/content (before lunch), manic (right after lunch), and depressive (most of the rest of the day). It's a daily cycle that I've been stuck in for about two years. I'm too spineless to kill myself and I am too lazy to change anything about my life.

>>38606459
get on my pathetic level, she dumped me almost 3 years ago

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>>38601273
friend is/was planning a trip to my country

haven't heard them in 2 weeks now, the trip is planned mid august...

got two job interviews lined up for the next week. I dont want to fuck them up but I also dont want to work again. my friends all keep calling me a loser cause im unemployed and fat but i dont really care, i was never going to have a normie life of kids and wife so why bother working.

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Like Incould have achieved so much more if I wasn't so apathetic about everything to protect my own ego

>early mid 20s
>graduating as an engineer at end of year
>friends getting offered jobs
>didn't take uni seriously the first couple of years so GPA is awful
>do tons of extra curricular to compensate and show I am decent
>I've been getting close to zero bites from employers due to GPA screening
>tunnel visioned too hard making up for grades so I never really focused on girls during this time
>have next to no money
>just not where I wanted to be in life
>feel like I let everyone down

I want to change it up and start improving it it's hard without a job. I feel like if I were to get one It'd be that light to help me keep going

wanna kms

>>38613532

What engineering did you go into, anon?

>>38606592
Same bro. When will this charade of pretending to care end?

>>38608709
My fellow African American. Don't you find it funny how a collective of people has decided that such happiness is unacceptable for the general public?

>>38611262
Try some bdsm anon. Making another feel pain for a bit helps.

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>>38615173
>tfw you want to be a rope bunny for some caring but dominant guy
>tfw you're a 6"1" guy that just started balding and this will never ever happen

>>38615286
Tbh anon, I'm sorry. You gotta find something else. You're body isn't enough to justify people loving you, you gotta work for it. Earn that shit and gain some confidence and you'll be on even ground. You're dream life won't be easy but it could happen. Sorry man, some people are just fucked over by their predetermined desires. If it's worth anything, a garbage twink anon like me would tie you up and blow you to alieve the emptiness.

For the most part I feel like I'm turning my life around, like I am doing well. But at every little bump every little stall or sometimes just out of nowhere those feelings of worthlessness return and I just lie there crying. It's been over a year, is this ever going to go away?

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>>38612670
are you me? except i walked out on my job 3 weeks ago. i felt like if i stayed id end up snapping and hurting myself or someone. ive blacked out my windows and havent left my apartment since. im gonna hide from the world until i cant anymore, or at least til i run out of food. parents dropped off some left overs. im also on neetbux so i can probly maintain this shit indefinitely. i want to get drunk but cant bring myself to leave my nest.

anyone have any music suggestions?

I'm at the beach with my family. Everyone is very social. I hate it. Everyone starts to drink and have fun at night, even my younger brother gets drunk. He's usually the one I can chat with, so now I'm alone.

There are many people at the beach from day to day. I used to think I was attractive, but now I'm unsure. I now know I'm not attractive enough to be approached out of the blue. I know I can't figure out how to approach anyone else. I mostly avoid the beach now.

After a few days, my immediate family will return home. We'll wash our clothes, and unpack a bit. I'll go back to tinkering with some code, or my new computer. After a week, we'll go off to another week-long event. This one's in the mountains, at a camp on a river. It's a beautiful place, but it is still a very social event. Some of my extended family goes with us. There's a girl there. She's not terribly pretty, but she's sweet. She babysits while other folks are out drinking and mingling. After she finishes that, she sometimes comes to my cabin and talks. She likes Tumblr things. It seems like most girls I talk to end up discussing Steven Universe or something like that. I can't tell if she likes me, or if she pities me. Most years, the week we're at this camp lines up with a meteor shower. On those nights, I grab a blanket or tarp, and we lie down next to each other and watch the sky for hours. We talk. After that we go back to our respective cabins and continue business as usual. At the end of the week, we part ways and maybe exchange texts for a week. I go back to my community college classes, maybe find a crush or two, and then do nothing regarding them. She'll go back to her art classes, and we'll see each other again in a year's time.

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It not my day, week, month, or year, lads. Every day it's the same repetition.

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Some more feels. I screenshot and look at them when I feel alone in my depression. It only helps a little knowing I'm not the only one suffering.

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explouqdkxbn

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I avoid going out as much as I can to avoid he constant barrage of couples holding hands. It almost feels like it's in my face on purpose. I'll never know that feel of being loved.

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need to do some stupid shit at work tomorrow. Like today. Like most days. Oh well good night everybody, I'm off to the mattress on the floor I think

>>38607627
exactly, You have no fucking right to complain you entitled little stupid fuck, I hope you succeed otherwise you'll find out just how much life hurts when you can't get through college.

you fucking little stupid fuck. if you fuck this up you're going to realize just how much of a god damn pussy you are.