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>beginning to fap for the first time in a few days (been too depressed to ejaculate NBD)
>have a particularly novel erotic thought
>get into it, actually enjoying touching my penis for the first time in a while
>feelsgoodman
>start edging but need to take a shower so I decide to edge for no more than 10 more minutes then wash off and get on with my day
>Suddenly someone knocks on my front fucking door
>Four loud knocks, in tempo, the same way my property manager always knocks
>What the fuck does that bitch want during my fap sesh
>rapidly pull on pants, tuck shirt in
>open door
>It's my fucking 60 year old neighbor who's always a little overly friendly with me, not a guy I have a problem with but I'm fapping
>Try to be casual; "What's up? I'm in the middle of something"
>Old faggot starts trying to joke with me asking if I'm going to invite him over for dinner and make him cornbread (this was his specific request, couldn't make this shit up)
>my cock has fully shriveled
>Trying not to scream "Fuck off I was beating it!" but can't think of any other response because how the fuck am I actually supposed to respond to a man 3 times my age inviting himself over for dinner at my home?
>End up stammering angrily while I close the door, probably not getting a single coherent word out
>lock my door
>stand in the middle of my living room and just scream
>hear him leaving
>my next door neighbors probably heard me start screaming with rage out of nowhere in the middle of the afternoon
>I still don't know why this old fuck thought it would be okay to knock on my door in the first place
>too angry to get my boner back
Guys, I don't believe in God, but is God punishing me? I can't so much as have a moment to myself to be fucking horny.
Any ways I can get back at my neighbor for this that won't be traced back to me?
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>>38598548
>Keeps you away from the sin of masturbation
>punishing you
Choose only one, faggot.
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>>38598589
>something harmless to anyone other than myself that feels good
>a sin
Get out normalfag. I bet you think alcohol is a sin and that the good ol' government has everyone's best interests at heart taxing those nasty cigarettes so everyone who smokes them will die in poverty with their children rotting in Planned Parenthood dumpsters. You fucking NIGGER. KILL YOURSELF. YOU DISGUST ME.
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>Old faggot starts trying to joke with me asking if I'm going to invite him over for dinner and make him cornbread (this was his specific request, couldn't make this shit up)
reading this on the toilet and i just laughed so hard i shit
>>
>>38598548
>being this emotional and testy
You should just said "yeah, maybe sometime, but Im busy right now, how about sometime next week"
Then you could've flaked out next week by making up some excuse.
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>>38598548
>neighbor reaches out and tries to provide both you and himself with quality social interaction in order to keep mental health in check
>"wah! wah! God is punishing me because I'm a faggot who can't simply say 'I'd love to but some other time'"
Neck yourself
>>
Invite him for dinner and make him cornbread. Then ask him for porn recommendations.
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>>38598753
>>38598717
>implying I have any desire to cook dinner for a 60-something year old man
How desperate are you two for socialization? Why would you ever want this? Even nice old people are horrible to talk to. They don't like any of the things I like and I don't like to make them be polite and pretend that they think there's any artistic value in the electronic music I make or whatever.
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>>38598820
I worked in a retirement community.
I liked discussing local restaurants, movies, and politics with the old folks. I played pool with some of them too.
>>
thought it would end with you fucking the dilf desu, i'm disappointed
>>
Classy boners are the way to go no homo.
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