>You're getting your haircut >Barber starts talking to you

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>>38525398
>"so what grade of high school are ya in, sport?"

>>38525398
My barber is one of the few people I talk to. Real cool guy.

>>38525398
My barber is kind of a robot. I believe he's still a virgin (although he looks 40).
We usually talk about TV shows. He was the one that recommenced me "Mr. Robot".

>>38525398
Now just give him a good firm handshake, champ.

>>38525398
>You're getting your haircut
>You suddenly realise it not the haircut you asked for at all
>Too beta to say anything to the barber

>>38526275
Dad, you're drunk. Go to sleep.

>>38526278
>implying it matters how you look like when you spend your whole life indoors

>>38525398
Is it stranger for white barbers? Any black barbershop I go to, the barbers are all constantly conversing and exchanging bantz with each other and their clients. It's pretty comfy, desu

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>Not cutting your own hair
>Current annum

>It only takes her two questions before she realizes how autistic you are and gives up on trying to talk
Feels good

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>>38526238
DELET THIS post that you have made on 4chan.org RIGHT NOW

>they got to a barber to get a haircut and don't just cut it themselves

Ayy Oyyy

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>>38525398
>hairdresser keeps asking me questions about my life
>have absolutely nothing to say so the rest of the interaction is in awkward silence

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>go to barber
>"what kinda cut u want senpai?"

Just take a book with you and read?

Hey, I found some dumbass retard accidentally replying to you in the wrong thread >>38526322

I love when my barber talks. All he does is complain about his life, which would usually be obnoxious, but is instead incredibly cathartic. It probably sounds sadistic, but one of the reasons I see him is because I enjoy how miserable he is. Also, he's excellent at cutting hair.

>>38525398
Someone post the Wojak giving a haircut to the NEET pepe.

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/barber/ general?

what the fuck am i supposed to tell the barber

22 years on this earth and i havent figured it out yet

I've been avoiding the barber for 5 months because I am scared of having one of these conversations. No memeing.

>>38526835
same man. my hair is getting long af again but the anxiety is killing me.

>>38526758
just tell them u want the normie undercut fade or some shit, it makes u look good

>>38525398
>"Hey, why do you look so pissed off, what's wrong?"

>got my hair cut two days ago
>besides the radio, pure, perfect silence in the barber shop, even with the other person's haircut.
Felt good. Real good.

>>38525398
>female barber
>tries talking.
>I just want to sleep and be comfy during my haircut so I just do halfass answers.

Usually works. The feeling of their hands over my head feels like a soothing massage, and it puts me right to sleep and gives that good asmr feeling.

>>38526758
The standard formula is:
Length of hair you want to keep on top + number of razor used on sides

For example:
>leave an inch on top, use a 6 on the sides
This will give you a very short, neat-looking cut.

The only remaining variables that will get asked one at a time:
>do you comb your hair front or back?
You should be able to answer this
>square or rounded in the back?
Always square. ALWAYS. Rounded looks like crap. Why this is even a choice for men is ludicrous.
>sideburns
Take them up to about half-inch from where your ear meets your head. There is wiggle room here, as long as they're straight and clean you'll be fine.

Hope this helps, it only took me 25 years to figure out.

>be me
>be 12 years old
>Go to haircut place with my dad
>Dad gets his haircut first, he's been good friends with the barber since he was a teenager (he was 33 at the time)
>I get my haircut
>While getting my haircut, barber asks what I want to be when I grow up
>Since I'm 12, I just say "I don't know to be honest".
>Barber just says "okay, kid. You still got some time to make up your mind"
>Barber doesn't talk again and I just get haircut in silence
>As soon as me and dad get in the car, dad starts yelling at me, saying that I was an embarrassment for saying that I didn't know what career I wanted. Spends entire 20 minute drive home yelling at me and telling me to get a fuckin' clue on what career to pursue
>That was the exact day I started hating myself

Now I'm a 21 year old college dropout with zero plans for my future. Guess my dad was right...

>>38527171
self fulfilling prophecy right here

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>>38526238
Tfw the barber finally starts asking what kind of work I'm in

>>38525398
I cut my own hair, it's not as hard as you'd think, just get a styling razor.
Also my mom was a hairdresser so when I was a kid I never had to go to barbershops, and my mom kinda taught me how to cut my own hair.

I've had the same person cut my hair for close to ten years now. They're quiet the whole time probably because they know how big of an autist I am.

your dad's a cunt and this >>38527432 anon speaks the truth. i know you have what it takes to be proud of yourself anon. what are you doing with your life at the moment?

>walked out of my job on an impulse
>the next day go to get a haircut to feel fresh and different
>barber is an arab, can tell i am arab too
>starts laying on the muslim brother shit
>asking about my family
>asking about my religious beliefs
>etc
>shut that shit right down
>am deviant atheist that despises muzzies and arab culture
>give nothing but noncommittal responses for 20 min straight
>after i pay, he looks at me expectantly
>walk away without tipping him

lol

>>38527171
Your dad is an insecure bitch who was trying to use you to impress his barber. Sorry you had to be raised by such a shallow man.

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>>38526238
>6'3
>wide frame
>tiny asian lady cuts my hair
>she says "How old're you, like 15?"

>>38527171
sounds like your dads a fucktard anon

>>38526275
kek idk why but dad posting just cracks me up every time.

>>38525398
my barber is over 75 years old and grew up im germany. We talk about nazi shit

>>38527889
You seem like a dick to be honest anon

>>38527077
legitimate thanks man, gonna need a cut soon and i always spill my spaghetti when it comes around

if i want it a bit longer i guess i go for 2+ inches on the top?

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>>38526970
>tfw the most action you've ever gotten from a woman is having a female hair stylist wash your hair during a haricut

>>38526238

I get this still and I'm 29.

It's starting to get to the point where I appreciate it.

>>38525398
I don't get haircuts. Let it grow out from a skinhead because I can't even cope with hairdressers anymore. It's grown to my shoulders in a year.

>>38525398
"I'd prefer to just sit and relax instead of talk, thanks."

>>38525398

I'm 33 and it has been 17 years since I last went to a barbershop to have someone else cut my hair. I am autistic and couldn't handle the process. Bright lights. Sitting high on an adjustable chair that feels like you can't easily get off when it is raised. Cape thing fastened tight around neck. Some person touching me. Some person trying to talk to me. Seeing myself in the mirror while someone is both touching me and talking to me.

Bad news. So i taught myself how to cut my own hair. You get decent at it with enough practice.

>>38525398
>go to barber
>he says next when its your turn
>looks at you in mirror until you tell him what you want
>ok six pounds
>cuts hair

find a better barber anon

>>38526758
Get a Hitler youth or fuck off.

>>38527077
>inch on top
>6 on sides
christ anon whats the point, i get a 2 on the sides and a "make it neat" on top

>>38529759
>not just short back and sides
fucking normalfag who are you trying to impress