It's time to pick your superhero name, Anon.

make this name accurately portrays what kind of hero you are :)

Bigdickman 6969

I'm just exactly like a regular superhero, and my dick size isnt' published but the newsreaders have to say the full thing on TV.

JUSTICE COCK
with my reliable companion, DONKEY ANUS
ILL SPRAY MY JUSTOCE JUICE ALL OVER THE CITY

my catch phrase?

WUHBLAMO

Where are you Catfishman

xXshadowreaper666Xx

Greater chimdale county man

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le maymayman

catchphrase: trolololol

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>>38521468
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

The Exiled One

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Florida Man

Lone gunman

>>38521468
crazybrain

I'm emotionally unstable

I will be simply named Mayonnaise. Not Mayonnaise Man, not Mayonnaise Woman, nothing like that, nothing so defining. I will simply be Mayonnaise, because deep inside, that's all I am.

Ever since I was little, about 7 or 8, I've always put Mayonnaise on literally everything. I have studied the Mayonnaise cultures, and the ways they are made. I have crafted my own Mayonnaise. I have tried Mayonnaise of traditional sorts, the vegan and vegetarian Mayonnaises, and even the Mayonnaise of other countries.

To me, Mayonnaise belongs on every food item. All that I eat is simply a vessel for Mayonnaise. Eggs and bacon in the morning? A dollop of Mayonnaise is there for dipping.

Spaghetti? Mix in some Mayonnaise. Potatoes? I don't use Ranch, I use Mayonnaise, the superior condiment.

In my eyes, not all Mayonnaise is created equally, yet all Mayonnaise deserves an equal chance.

I know near atomic and molecular knowledge of Mayonnaise. The exact composition, the ratios, the oil to the vinegar, to the salt and on occasion, rare hints of dill. Creamy, or thick. Smooth, or rich.

Mayonnaise is a many-faceted jewel, and could easily be used to bring justice to those cretins that don't use the God Condiment. (among other things, like burglary and petty crime.)

>>38525770
You see, OP, I have developed a spiritual connection with the God Condiment. Mayonnaise has no gender, though not in the way the tumblr freaks consider it. Mayonnaise simply is. A God cannot be measured by Human standpoints, and thus, Mayonnaise once again, simply is.

While not at the level of the God Condiment, I am now Mayonnaise as well, on all levels except physical. I retain my human form to worship the God Condiment, in such rites as covering myself in Mayonnaise and laying still to meditate.

Anyone who challenged the God Condiment would be forced to face me. And the God Condiment, Mayonnaise, in turn, would use me as Its divine avatar. Every single good deed of me, Mayonnaise, would be attributed to Mayonnaise. A revival would be brought forth.

I would simply be nude, covered in Mayonnaise; a thick layer of my protective God Condiment. Perhaps the vegetable-based Mayonnaise, for a thicker composition and more durable coating. After all, Mayonnaise is not meant for mortals to undertake so heavily, but it is a sacrifice I must indeed make for the good of Humanity.

At any hint of challenge to the God Condiment by using the failed fruit abortion known as "Ketchup", or even by using the lesser God Condiment known as "Mustard", of the Seed, as their Divine, specifically to challenge the Mayonnaise, would be met with swift, oily white retribution. No man can stop me, for I am no man. I am Mayonnaise, and as long as my God Condiment lives, I remain Mayonnaise in all levels except physical.

To those who dared challenge Humanity, while its protector, Mayonnaise and myself, Its Divine Avatar, I say only this; I would not be a superhero. A hero saves.

>>38525770
Dude wtf!? xD someone include me in the screencap for r/4chan

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>>38525792

I would not save. I would deliver. I would deliver the souls of the offended to the holy Divine, Mayonnaise, and deliver the souls of the offenders to the Trash Bin, where all failed or unholy Divines belong. Humans of the Trash Bin would be tortured, forever forced to endure endless quantities of Ketchup, Mustard, and Vinaigrette torture at the hands of the Un-Godly Barbecue Sauce.

I will spare none who offend Mayonnaise, or Humanity, while I live in stasis as a righteous Fusion of Mayonnaise and Man.


I am Mayonnaise. That is all.

Hail the God Condiment.

Hail Mayonnaise.

>>38525792
>>38525770
you have autism, I shall call you Autismo

brongo bongo cause it sounds funny.

Zero.

Short, simple, and describes me perfectly.

>>38525770
>>38525792
>>38525817
supremo autismo suits you better

I have many names... but all of you peasants may call me xXBlaze420SniperXx.

Gloomy-man
I've the power to absorb everyone's sadness and become more depressed desu

>>38521468
Cardinal Sin
I'm a warlock in a Catholic Cardinal uniform.

>>38521468
el original Beta Boy

Milfhunter666
I hunt milfs, get rejected, then kidnap them and try to get Stockholm syndrome going. I don't have a superpower tho it's like a kryptonite in itself.

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XXXX_KING_EXPLOSION_MURDER_XXXX

>>38521468
P U S S Y E A T E R
original superhero name

>>38521468
uselessman

>>38521468
Unremarkable Hero : Obscure

I would go with Invisible Man-child but transparency is not my quirk.

El Anzuelo
My superpower is the superbait. A unique bait whose (You) harvesting abilities are unmatched by any kind of bait!

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>>38521468
the human spider

>>38528626
>The Human Holocaust
Jesus christ anon.

>>38528626
Cute outfit, did your boyfriend make it?

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>>38521468
autism man, my quirk is an autistic screech like siryn
>tfw I actually stopped myself from getting robbed one time with an autistic screech

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Shake Senior

I go around the town securing job placement for poor robots without the social skills to do so.

My quirk: Hand Shake
If I seal the deal, I can manipulate their mind to my will. All I have to do, is, well shake the hand son.

Anyway, how about we stop roleplaying and, how about we work together and get you a job, son.

the peanus weanus

Filther

>>38521468
You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your hero name was not original Man

Apotheotic Elegist

Count Crouchula

Suplex Samurai with my sidekick Piledriver Warden
My super power is the ability to suplex and throw anything with a heartbeat. My sidekick Piledriver Warden sits in the back and I can throw my victim towards him and he will piledrive them.

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>>38521468
Just call me, Beta Male!

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>>38521468
The Miracle Kid.
-has a sword that attacks with astral power, so anything without astral defense is suspectible to the blade
-can do basic DBZ shit like clones, after image, etc
-start of series is hypersonic, small building level
-eventually becomes multiple times faster than light and a multi universe buster
-can resist mind control better than most dude to his ability
-can summon his own spirit animal, an Owl that can change size and fire lasers
-can summon his opponent's spirit animal in an attempt to beat them

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The Red Death

ULLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Codo-Neimu

>>38529610
What the fuck is happening on the gif?

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I am Inspiration man. By my presence alone, I induce great Inspiration to everyone within a ten mile radius. All writers prepare to make some really good shit.

>>38525770
>>38525792
>>38525817
Mayonaise's anthem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MElfYleGIVU

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Backstory:
>born with royalty
>had a special power which caused my parents to try and kill me ( i murdered my entire family after that )
>hate all of humanity and wants to murder everyone
>until one day i stumbled on a young and beautiful tsundere girl who cared for me even though she knew what my identity was

Superpower:
>Sword can slice through anything but after meeting Kurobane the tsundere girl, my sword transformed into a shield which can never be destroyed
>Can walk 10km in under 10seconds which makes me superfast in battle
>Able to cast a dark power called Void Magic which makes anything dissapear by touching at will
>Superintellect which makes me very intelligent and can think about 400 things at the same time by assigning my neurons in my brain to multitask

>>38521468
>He may look like your average lonely loser, but years of contact with the radioactive toxic waste produced by the website called 4chan has made him into.... THE ROBOTIC WIZARD!
>the radiation has given him the incredible power of instantly repelling any woman he comes in contact with!
>it might also have given him cancer!
>watch as he uses his newfound powers to battle his arch-nemesis, the superhuman Chad Thundercock!

HenkBigBoy

High End
I can make smoke bombs that emit high concentrations of THC infused vapor. It makes the enemies too high to function, but I have trained myself to not only resist it, but have a fighting style that is enhanced by being high, much like drunken boxing. I can also coat enemies in sticky resin rendering them immobile.

>>38527010
>Animeonly fag
King of explodo-kills is better

Suicide Boi

The power to devestate the live of those who loved me.

>>38530022
Were Sasuke's arms always this skinny?

AfricanLoads

i make cum from africa

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Hero name: Sprout
Power: Can cause people to grow genitals anywhere I touch them, can also make genitals painlessly fall off.

>>38529610
Peeling a cattail. You can actually eat the stems and use the fluff as tinder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38OhguMdks4

>>38521468
Moltke

I don't exactly know. I'm a prussiaboo and I like the sound of it. Don't know what power I would have tho.