Psychological Issues #102

>>38519081

In defense of the OP picture being a meme, I like it because the original one comes from World War I and was a message from the monarchy to the people. As a Swiss person, I have never experienced having a king, a president, or any kind of embodied authority. I can't even tell you who my top dog is currently. Ours can take the train and nobody bothers them because most of us don't even know and the rest doesn't give a shit.

Keep calm and carry on is a good message. Easier said than done, I know, but it's the intention that counts.

Musical moment:

https://youtu.be/uTIB10eQnA0

You may have heard the cover recently (and no, I'm not going to say "Muh original was better," or anything like that, as I like both versions and listen to both. Tracy Chapman is a brilliant musician. I saw her on stage in Montreux back in 2006 or so, and she sings exactly as she does on the album, it's fairly impressive.

She's a woman with a lot of soul. Great song. I will always love her. Enjoy.

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Hey Nick. I see you are still a bit depressed. Sorry to hear it. Spent the last hour making this chart on /bant/ and watching one ant carry another's corpse around, only to forget about it when the light turned off.

>>38519492

That's... Arresting.

>gender

Do you have the template for this?

Are you part native American, Coats?

>>38519492

>atheist

If you'd like to have the correct spelling. This is the first misspelling I see you do (and don't worry about it, it's a very common mistake to make, I can't make it because my French has the phonetics closer to the spelling, so it's easy mode for me).

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>>38519642
>Arresting
Perhaps. I just get lonely and do charts because I am lonely.

>gender
I got the template right here.

>Native American
Indeed. My great grandfather was apparently a chief in the Cherokee Indians.

>>38519667
Fascinating indeed. I have always spelled it with "i" before "e". Weird to know I have been spelling atheist wrong the entire time.

>>38519706

I'm impressed. You're like Tori Amos, a bit. She's a quarter Indian as well (I use the NPC word because it's not offensive to me; if Columbus got his geography wrong, it's insulting to white people, if anything, not to "native Americans".

>>38519725

Worry not, even a few months ago, I realised, apparently, I pronounced "albeit" wrong. I can't stomach the new pronounciation so I stopped using the word altogether.

>all be it
>can't into all be it

I pronounced it in a German way, al bite.

>tfw realize im in love with christian lady
w-why? She's not even nice to me but I can't stop thinking about her.

>>38519803

Call yourself Christian Man, like the Type O Negative song (Christian Woman).

Because boys only want love if it's torture.

Compare her to your mother, report back.

>inb4 Freud

>>38519779
>I'm impressed
It isn't much really. You couldn't tell looking at me that I was Native American, I have very pale skin, which is odd when the biggest strain is Italian. I also have connections to the Pilgrims apparently.

>Albeit
Well then, I have been pronouncing it in exactly the same fashion. I usually either know how to spell words or how to pronounce them, but there are plenty of roadblocks on both as well. My lack of confidence means I believe consistently that my grammar or spelling is incorrect.

>>38519846
>I have very pale skin, which is odd when the biggest strain is Italian

Literally my goomba bro. I'm half Italian and I have whiter skin than most goombas. My natural father moved to Switzerland when he was 5.

>Well then, I have been pronouncing it in exactly the same fashion.

It may be one of those "mistakes" everyone makes, and so it's not wrong. Because I definitely heard it that way, which is why I pronounced it that way as well.

Your grammar and spelling are top notch. I'm an English teacher, I spot mistakes in printed books more often than I do in your posts. Nothing to worry about. I could work as an editor, but I still make fuckups here and there, usually typos due to my keyboard being ass and not registering every hit.

Don't worry about it.

Hey Nick. Up to something today?

>>38519917

I went out and had lunch outside with a friend and his wife.

I sperged out a bit by not finding a spot to park on. I got lucky, but messed up my parking, then did it again. It was fine but it always makes me feel inadequate. My agoraphobia goes up when I am down. I spent the whole time wanting to hide in a hole.

I got compliments on my contacts, meaning, absence of glasses. Nerdiness minus 200.

You?

>>38519824
>Because boys only want love if it's torture.
I hate it. I know I shouldn't be interested in her but she's all I think about sometimes. I feel like I'm obsessed with her.
>Compare her to your mother
My mother was not that bad, but indeed emotionally distant and strict. I was raised by my grandmother though. She was very sweet and caring.

>>38519964
Oh, nothing much. Just reading Witcher books and looking for job ads. Nothing that serious.

>>38519896
Indeed, my name is quite Italian. My mother was heavy into Italian pride, while my father isn't interested much in his heritage and just considers himself American. A patriot as I have said.

>Don't worry about it
Thank you Nick, it is quite nice to receive such compliments from an English teacher. I am not sure how good I really am, spellcheck does possibly make me look better than I would otherwise be.

Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised, I believe my mother said something similar when I was a child, though I believed that to be one of the things that parents say to boost the kid's ego. Would be funny if some of the other things they said were true, but I heavily doubt them.

While I tended to have a great strength in math, I also had a great strength in English. I didn't take too many AP classes due to the fear of doing bad and ruining my GPA more after the Spanish incident, but I did gamble with AP Literature. That class was hard, the teacher was very critical and thus many got bad grades. I got straight As, the highest grades in the class. Before teaching us anything he had us write an essay to show how much we improved, the most disappointing thing about the class was that I got high marks on that paper as well.

>>38519988
>I hate it. I know I shouldn't be interested in her but she's all I think about sometimes. I feel like I'm obsessed with her.

You may be. She is not a mountain to climb, an island to explore, a rival to defeat, this tickles the manly instincts in you. And you know, womanly instincts are often about appearing difficult to attract you. Tsundere is a real thing.

It may not be conscious, but it is there. If she both expresses her disgust at you and THEN still talks to you, I'd say there's more than meets the eye.

>distant mother
>grandmother is caregiver instead

Relationships, I now believe, are a lot like childhood 2.0. Just like nipples serve one purpose when you're a baby and quite another when you're an adult, the stuff we use in childhood are re-used in relationships. Attachmants of a different sort, but the roots are in the same place.

https://youtu.be/Jqps9ZdMxs0

This song has a bit about the past catching up with us.

This was my favourite break up song. I have listened to it so many fucking times. In loops. It's pure pain. Absolutely pure pain.

Her lyrics are good.

>>38520031
I seem to have a tendency to make a mistake with my tripcode numbering. Switching to the proper ordering, see past threads for verification.

>>38520002

LO is Polish, the Witcher is a Polish series of books, very popular over there. I may have an audio book of it somewhere, in Polsku, so not very useful to me, kurwa.

>>38520094
haha, i'm not reading it in english (which i could) or polish. I'm reading my native language lithuanian . It helps that i've played witcher 2 and 3, so i can imagine characters.

>>38520031
>Indeed, my name is quite Italian.

While I was adopted, so is mine.

>My mother was heavy into Italian pride, while my father isn't interested much in his heritage and just considers himself American. A patriot as I have said.

My adoptive/abusive father often made deragotary remarks on Italian people, apparently not realising I was part of "Italian people"; oddly, I was never mad at him for that, since I thought he was autistic and just didn't realise and didn't really think it. I always adapted so damn much, he could do no wrong. Quite like you and your own father.

I built my goomba pride on my own. It's mostly based on the Roman empire, mafia movies, Scorsese, Tarantino, the heat I'm packing and things like that. I don't look Italian, though, except for my brown eyes. On my mother's side, they've almost disappeared into Aryanness: hair so blonde it's almost white, eyes so light it's almost white too. A few more generations and they're thin air.

>Thank you Nick, it is quite nice to receive such compliments from an English teacher.

Given all your skills, you should have received way more compliments throughout your life.

>things that parents say to boost the kid's ego.

It should always be truthful, or else the kid knows and discredits anything the adult says. Some of the "compliments" I received were more abusive than some of the literal abuse.

>>38520130

Another Slav bro! Fuck yeah. I wonder why we have so many here. Maybe I really do appeal to Slavs a whole lot. Poles loved me over there, and the feeling was mutual.

I found them more authentic in some ways. I didn't doubt their goodness of heart. I also had never seen a social gathering where it was OK for adults to get fucked up in broad day light. Doing this here would make you look bad and people would give you the evil eye and no invite you again. As a result, it's much less fun. Here, this is only OK if you're a young adult, a student, and if there are only other people as young as you in the gathering.

No fun.

>>38520235
>Another Slav bro!
Ehm but we (lithuanians) and latvians are Balts and not Slavs.

>>38519081

I'm going to a psychologist today for the first time

What should I expect? What should I say to him?

>>38520174
>So is mine
Nice indeed.

>Goomba pride
I am more like my father with that, I will say what I am, but it is less of a part of my identity than the various meme personality tests. Usually I just say I am Caucasian.

I started out looking like my father, blonde with blue eyes, but quickly became like my mother with hazel eyes. I have dirty blonde hair as well. People get surprised when I say I am Italian and they see my paleness.

>Way more compliments
While I have received many insults, I have also been given compliments. The difference is that I would believe the insults, but not trust the compliments, because the former was done out of anger and thus was more authentic than the controlled manipulation a person can generally pull. My father has said I could pose in modeling magazines. My mother says I look like George Clooney.

>Should always be truthful, or else the kid knows and discredits anything the adult says
Exactly what happened. I couldn't trust compliments coming from my parents. I can trust people on 4chan in regards to honesty

>>38520300

I thought you might say that. I'm not convinced yet. What about Estonians?

>>38520309

Drop the heaviest stuff you have. Just to see how they react and how it makes you feel. You need to feel like you could tell them anything and be accepted.

Judge how you feel. You must feel OK, even it's only like "I'm tense now, but I'll be fine with this person."

That's what you need. If you don't feel it, say so and seek someone else. This is normal.

You may ask them what kind of therapy they prefer, things like that.

Looking for a video for you.

https://youtu.be/9FiVVAOXiEQ

>>38520052
>expresses her disgust at you and THEN still talks to you
Yup, that's what she does. It confuses me because it seems like she is into me for a while. Then I try and make a move and its a slap in the face. Maybe she just likes the attention.

That song took the words right out of my mouth. I have a whole playlist of breakup songs to help ease the feels.

>>38520309
>What should I expect? What should I say to him?
From my experience, he will ask what do you expect from therapy, what do you want to achieve, what brought you here and etc. I advise never preparing what you want to talk with him. Just come and talk about anything what comes to head because it's least suppressed thing.

>>38520397
Estonians are finno-ugric, very closely related to finns.

>>38520397
Read for yourself
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balts
Sure we have a lot of slavs from russia and poland but we're not related to them by any means.
>Estonians
That's completely different group. Sure we (Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) are called Baltic States but Estonians are much more closer to Finland than to us.

>>38520382
>because the former was done out of anger

Believe that the person was indeed angry, but not that the words were true, or even that they really meant them.

What I tell you when I'm angry isn't literally true, but the emotion is (and the emotion is that I get very upset that I can't help you as much as I want).

>My father has said I could pose in modeling magazines. My mother says I look like George Clooney.

Truth is truth in the mouth of God or Satan. I always misquote Jesus on that one, but you get the point. If you ever send a photo, I can give you a third opinion. I'm very good with faces.

> I couldn't trust compliments coming from my parents. I can trust people on 4chan in regards to honesty

You can't trust either. But you can trust me.

>>38520402
>Yup, that's what she does. It confuses me because it seems like she is into me for a while. Then I try and make a move and its a slap in the face. Maybe she just likes the attention.

Yes, but YOUR attention.
>>38520052
>Attachmants

Woah, that is the worst misspelling I have ever committed. Just fucking wow. I don't even know why this shit happens at all, it's not like I don't know how to spell that fucking word.

Anyway, stand up for yourself. If she doesn't mind you acting like a puss puss, she won't mind you standing up for yourself.

I won't mind talking theology some more to get you ready to defend yourself. Bring it on.

>>38520413

For my first appointment, I started with:

"I come to you with very little trust and no hope."

Just to make sure she was on the right page with me. I was raised to hate therapists, hence the lack of trust.

I also dumped the heavy topics of my case:

>adultery
>narcs
>separation
>anxiety/depression
>derealisation

Stuff like that.

>>38520452

That'd make sense. Finno-Uwhat?

>>38520501
>What I tell you when I'm angry isn't literally true
I am learning that in time. If that was the case, I wouldn't be welcome here 20+ threads later.

>Truth is truth
Perhaps I will take you up on that offer, I shall ponder the idea and send an email if I do. I suffer from a lot of paranoia about privacy, then post enough information to make me easily identifiable. People could easily find me if they wanted to based on the things I have said here.

>You can trust me
Against my better judgement and what my defenses say, I do. You have made me feel happy enough regardless. You can't trust if you don't try.

>>38520476

I learn.

>>38520603
Do you really think deep down she has feels for me? I don't know. She's very hot and cold, but I don't think she would care if I disappeared from her life.

>>38520653
So I am not alone with that. Everyone has always said "just see a therapist" when I am quite paranoid about them due to them being my real-life boogieman for years.

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>>38520653
The finno-ugric language group is this small obscure language group within the Uralic language family. It basically includes Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian and some random languages spoken by small groups of nomads around the Urals.
Pic from Wikipedia.

>>38520661
>I am learning that in time.

That's good. This is also why I don't adapt all the time, because I want you exposed to more natural reactions, but only when you can understand them and handle them. I don't want you to feel threatened or in danger of losin me, for instance. It's not about censorship, it's I literally don't want you to feel things like that, because it's not nice at all and it's not necessary.

When you care for someone, you spare them bad feelings.

I may still call you names if I get angry over something, but only because I have told you it didn't mean I didn't care, quite the opposite.

> People could easily find me if they wanted to based on the things I have said here.

Hardly. Plus nobody spends time trying to find us.

> You have made me feel happy enough regardless.

Trust that. Your instincts know better than your reason, in many cases, especially when you were raised by odd people, like I was. My feelings were never wrong, but I didn't understand them.

>Father says something nice
>feel bad
>I must be an ingrate child
>father says I'm an ingrate child
>oh well that confirms it, then

Reality version:
>father was a cunt
>I felt the appropriate reaction to him
>I couldn't imagine he really was just a cunt
>I believed his words, though it was BS and lies
>I blamed myself when I should have blamed him

Typical pattern.

>>38520689

I really can't tell knowing so little about her, but it's not impossible. The better question is: is she worth anything?

She doesn't give me that impression. There may be more falsehood about her than you know now. People who don't forgive others usually don't forgive themselves and repress their own mistakes/sins.

TL;DR: maybe she's a sloot.

>>38520696

There's a lot you can do on your own, and see a therapist later on when you feel OK to do so, which is how I did it.

>>38520696
I have the same problem. I have instead decided to spend money on self help books to help me.

>>38520751

Cool! How do you know that stuff?

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>>38520808

I could recommend a bunch.

Here's one. HIGHLY recommended. For anyone with any anxiety/depression issues.

>>38520818
Well, for one I myself am Finnish.
I also like to read about random shit on Wikipedia when I have the motivation and the time.

>>38520790
Who knows. I should give more time to know her just in case. I have only known her for a year.
>>38520836
>$12 on amazon
I'll definitely buy it. For now I have read books from Eckhart Tolle and Thich Nhat Hanh to help my depression and anxiety. The techniques work. Although sometimes I lack the motivation to implement them into my life.

>>38520758
>I don't want you to feel things like that
I can appreciate that. When I took Big 5 I turned out to be 100% neurotic, so I draw my own inferences from subtle things with often negative connotations. Yet as I said I also want people to feel like they can say what they want, especially since I consider it fair since I can say what I want, and feel communication is vital to any healthy connection.

>I may still call you names
Indeed, I need to get used to this. I want everyone to be as hard as a rock, yet am soft and squishy.

>Hardly
There aren't many that talk about the things I ramble about. I tend to see many of the things I say or do as standing out from normality or even /r9k/, which means I almost am drawing a beacon to myself.

>nobody spends time trying to find us
Probably the truth. It's narcissism to believe people devote their free time here to trying to figure out who we are. My life mostly consists of shitposting and fighting OCD. Not the most interesting of scenarios to hunt down.

>Blamed myself when I should have blamed him
Sounds logical enough. Your defenses make you believe the negative rather than believing those around you are negative. I always thought that there are more of my family than me, I must be the one in the wrong therefore.

>>38520865

I went to Helsinki once! I had a Finnish lady friend, but we didn't remain friends. I think she wanted my Swiss D but I turned out not to be how she had imagined, so nothing happened.

Finns are kinda of small and tough, I found.

>>38520803
I agree. I would rather fight the battles by myself or with help on the internet than a psychologist. I have too many negative beliefs. Of course the situation I am in, my father would probably snap if I wanted to see one anyway.

>>38520808
I always thought those were memes. I remember seeing books about things to make you feel happy. It was a list of weird sentimental stuff you couldn't really relate to unless you were the author.

>>38521031
Some of them are meme-tier. I recommend Eckhart Tolle though. He actually discusses techniques beyond "just bee urself" like breathing exercises and ways to change your mentality, which I would assume is the same thing a real therapist would tell you.

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>>38520971
>When I took Big 5

I have no clue what Big 5 even means. Wot?

>I want everyone to be as hard as a rock, yet am soft and squishy.

The point you're missing is that if you tell me it hurts you to be insulted, I would instantly become unable to do it. And I'd prefer it that way. Dan doesn't mind my insults because it's probably a form of self-harm and we have this unwritten understanding that it's not meant literally, it's just me getting emotional over caring for him and getting pissed off at his defenses.

>t's narcissism to believe people devote their free time here to trying to figure out who we are.

No, this is paranoia, due to having had to defend yourself a lot and expect the worst from people. Not narcissism.

>shitposting and fighting OCD. Not the most interesting of scenarios to hunt down.

If you were into exposing your life, I know an entire community who would make you a daily thread, no questions asked.

>>38521031
>>38521118

I recommend The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. It has a lot of good thinking and while it gets Jesusy near the end, it isn't a problem.

>>38521154
Are the books similar to what a therapist would tell you? I always wonder how they help people during talk therapy.

>>38521118
Yeah, I think I prefer personalized help based on the idea that I tend to misinterpret what I see. Nick has definitely seen that.

>>38521132
>Big 5
Another personality test like MBTI basically.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits

>I'd prefer it that way
Then I feel bad that you are unable to tell me what you think. I feel bad for myself, I should be able to handle criticism. I know criticism makes you better, so I need to hear it, but at the same time am so squishy that I can't handle it. Thus I live in this weird contradiction where I want people to give criticism, yet get miserable hearing criticism, and can make criticism out of anything neutral.

>Having to defend yourself a lot
Indeed, I am a walking contradiction. I fear revealing info, /g/ botnet memes and all, then I blatantly reveal info regardless even knowing how identifiable it could be.

>Entire community who would make you a daily thread
Perhaps /soc/? That is the only place I can think would make a daily thread for an individual.

>>38521154
I prefer to avoid reading books if I can. I have read enough through my OCD to know I loathe reading.

I am a slow reader. It takes me an hour to read about ten pages. This makes me realize how much time I wasted on something that usually is just uninteresting.

>>38521246
>I always wonder how they help people during talk therapy.

To be honest, you'll find most are less efficient than I am, although that sounds vastly arrogant. It's my experience of them and I have had tons.

Mine is great but I do all the talking. She will ask questions and rarely offer exercises. I rarely know what she makes of the exercises or of my answers. I find myself waiting for her to say some shit to me, but it doesn't really happen.

The books are not a conversation, so no, but it may bring you much more. I wish my therapist taught me stuff, but she doesn't.

The strength of a therapist is in not being the patient, i.e. you can tell when something is weird that the patient doesn't realise. Think of Coats here, he will tell you horrible things without realising it. A therapist will point that out and make you work on it.

>>38520973
>I think she wanted my Swiss D
I've heard that Finnish women like foreigners.

>Finns are kinda of small
We do have a small population, but Finns are generally quite tall.

>and tough
Certainly not in Helsinki. Maybe in the countryside.

>>38521283
>Then I feel bad that you are unable to tell me what you think.

I am 100% able to tell you what I think. If you ask me to draw a monkey, I can draw monkeys in countless ways, not drawing rude monkeys doesn't prevent me from drawing monkeys.

> I should be able to handle criticism.

Insults and anger aren't criticism.

>I know criticism makes you better, so I need to hear it,

Abuse isn't criticism. What you are used to isn't criticism, it's abuse disguised as criticism.

My father would always, always say, "It's not criticism, but..." and then it'd be criticism of the nasty kind, but since he said it wasn't, as a child, you learn that "it's not criticism." So you just assume it's the naked truth. And it wasn't.

Criticism makes sense and is based on something real. And its intention is to help you improve. If it feels bad, it may not always be true criticism.

>>38521283
>Perhaps /soc/? That is the only place I can think would make a daily thread for an individual.

It's not a famous community, and it's only females.

>>38521429
>I have read enough through my OCD to know I loathe reading.

That wasn't reading, that was torturing yourself. If I were forced to read, I'd hate it too. That's why people don't like rape, Coats (among other more important aspects): things we are supposed to love, when perverted, are the worst. Reading isn't to be forced.

>>38521476
That's part of the reason why I refuse to go to one. It seems pointless. I much rather talk to you here. Talking through a screen makes me feel more comfortable too. In person I am usually very anxious around people.

>>38521524
>I've heard that Finnish women like foreigners.

I think she wanted to fuck me originally, but once she realised I didn't have the "fuck women" attitude, it didn't work out.

>but Finns are generally quite tall.

Really? I haven't met a single tall Finn when I was there. I'm only 178 cm.

>>38521571
>In person I am usually very anxious around people.

In the long run, this could help you practice talking to others. The plus side here is that it's comfy, but the plus side there is you actually speak and express yourself, move your hands and face and etc.

This is good too. And as they say, porque no los dos?

>>38521533
>I can draw monkeys in countless ways
Fair enough. I perhaps am projecting myself and my ability to make things sound nicer.

>Insults and anger aren't criticism
What is the difference? If they tell you that you are a failure, does that not tell you to improve?

>If it feels bad, it may not always be true criticism
Not sure how to read the difference. How do you know what is true? I don't want a hugbox where people give praise because they are afraid to say the truth. I don't want false praise.

>>38521561
>Only females
You are telling me I could have a daily thread on a place filled with females? You do realize you are saying this to the same person you say has bad views of society and even worse views on women?

>Reading isn't to be forced
Much like a young girl doesn't like sex because she was raped, I don't like reading due to what I have dealt with. Perhaps, through what I have gone through with OCD, I can understand the torture of rape.

I think I see what you mean by how negative of an act it is. The psychological misery involved with OCD, if much like rape, is quite terrible to live with indeed.

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>>38521579
>Really? I haven't met a single tall Finn when I was there. I'm only 178 cm.
That's odd. It's possible my view on height is warped, but most men I see are a lot taller than me and I'm something like 175.
Are you sure you didn't go to Hong Kong instead of Helsinki?

>>38521719
>I perhaps am projecting myself and my ability to make things sound nicer.

Possibly. My intention isn't to keep you from my thoughts, but merely to share them in a way that doesn't hurt you. Sharing info never has to hurt, even if the content hurts.

>What is the difference? If they tell you that you are a failure, does that not tell you to improve?

Absolutely not. A failure cannot improve. If someone tells you you are a failure, they tell you a number of things:

>they think you are a failure
>they think they are allowed to insult you
>they don't respect you and tell you so
>they expect you to be a bitch

This will of course depend on the context, but unless the person has a real reason to say such a horrible thing (which in most cases isn't true), then no, it's not criticism. It's an angry attack whose purpose is to make the attacker feel better, not the person who receives the abuse.

Compare:

>You are actually wrong about Sydney being the capital of Australia, it's Canberra. Few people know it and it's a common mistake to make, and it is true that Sydney is the economic capital of Austria, as well as its most famous city.

>You fucking idiot, don't you know anything?

Compare.

>>38520673
It's alright. The more you know.

>>38521719
>You do realize you are saying this to the same person you say has bad views of society and even worse views on women?

Yes, I don't see the connection, though. How are your views on women related to this opinion?

>>38521778

Maybe I remember wrong.

>>38521915
>Share them in a way that doesn't hurt you
I can appreciate this, even if I don't understand.

>It's an angry attack
Fascinating, I thought it was more "You are a failure because you do X" which means if you stop doing X, you are no longer a failure, which in turn makes it a criticism.

>Compare
The first tells me Sydney is not the capital. The second tells me I was an idiot for not knowing such. Depends if it was common knowledge or not. If not, the latter is more appropriate, otherwise the former.

The former sounds quite alien to me outside of the internet. The latter is pretty much how my parents talk.

hey guys, just wanted to let you know Im here.
Not much to tell today, been thinking about my childhood quite alot

>>38521934
You are recommending me be put on a site filled with only women. Wouldn't that be the worst place to put me?

>>38522007
>The former sounds quite alien to me outside of the internet. The latter is pretty much how my parents talk.

The latter is just verbal abuse. I'm a teacher, if I spoke that way to my kids, they'd hate me and never learn anything.

>>38522093
>Verbal abuse
Oddly enough, that is also how my teachers would speak to me.

Coats, I'm watching your videos, is it OK if I share my reaction here?

I won't share the videos themselves, though.

You would become very famous with the community I mentioned before.

>>38522021

Share your thoughts.

>>38522039

You wouldn't be there yourself. You'd be talked about only.

>>38522128
>If you don't stop falling around, you're getting kicked out of the dojo. Stop playing around, you can stand straight, can't you?
>You already know the answer, put your hand down and stop asking stupid questions.
>The next time you bump into someone I am going to punch you. Stop going so far with your moves.
>Are you fucking retarded? I have shown you how to swim, you should be able to just copy me.
>I give up, you are unteachable. It isn't my fault you are so stubborn and don't want to learn. I keep showing you how to ride a bike, either get on it right this time or we are going home.

>>38522128

Teachers can be abusive too, especially in the public system. Private schools are more demanding with teachers, but teaching should never be a comfort position. I don't need to insult my students.

Permission to show LO your channel?

It's absolutely fine to say no.

Gladly Nick, my videos are public for a reason. I just generally don't like linking all the pieces together in case they can find some weakness to exploit me.

>You would become very famous
If you think it would be beneficial, feel free to do it. I don't mind attention if you haven't noticed, I actually tend to crave it. I won't go out of my way to get more attention by being something I am not, but I do enjoy those that appreciate me for who I am.

>>38522281
>Teachers can be abusive too, especially in the public system
I still remember being told I was the problem because I got into more fights than everyone else. I never initiated, I only defended myself.

>>38522311
Feel free, as I said I don't mind others checking out my content. I just fear it being used against me.

>>38522324
>If you think it would be beneficial, feel free to do it.

I'm not sure about that part.

So can I discuss this here or what? It's one thing to comment on the YouTube comment section, but it's another to do so here. I just want to be sure.

LO won't do anything against you, don't worry.

Guys.


Can we all work together and uh, give help back to Nick?
He needs to learn to empathise with positive feelings instead of just with the pain of others.

Like he needs to learn how to feel happy when/if we tell him how we're glad for his presence and company.

I got a package in the mail today.

>>38522397
>Can we all work together and uh, give help back to Nick?

I'll be fine, but I appreciate your kindness.

It does make me happy when people here feel better.

It's just that human beings are more attuned to pain and fear than pleasure and happiness. There's only so much you can get from caressing skin, and way more possibilities of pain by tearing it, burning it, cutting it etc, because it's more vital to a person to avoid the latter than receive the former.

It's not that I don't empathise with the positive, it's just that there's less potential there.

Again, I appreciate your words.

>>38522250
Not much thoughts
They kept repeating that Chester killed himself on the radio at work today
From all the famous people that died over last few years Chester was definetly the one that touched me the most
Id probably never listen to metal without him

And now hes dead, my childhood hero hanged himself

File: Dailycoatscaptcha.jpg (79KB, 391x578px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 391x578px

>>38522384
>Discuss this here
Feel free. I don't mind if you feel it is safe enough. It is public, it isn't like I hide my content. I just lack confidence.

>LO won't do anything against you
Exactly why it felt so easy to give permission. There isn't much she could do with it, she hasn't even talked to me personally.

>>38522451

The first thing is that I hadn't imagined you this way. You're way more explosive and alive than I thought.

But you definitely are as disconnected as I saw here. Dooooooooode!

Are you aware that you are loud as fuck? I tell you because I am not sure you know. Some people have videos like that, but they act a character, and shout as part of the character, and I am not sure you do that. I almost feel like this is how you normally are or something.

I watched some of the Star Wars video, to get something less crazy than what you gave me (holy shit, bro, holy shit!).

You seem to have hundreds of videos, and some are long as hell.

You could become famous, but the way Chris chan is famous, and that's why I don't want that for you.

That's my first reaction, I think.

I subbed.

>>38522447
>human beings are more attuned to pain and fear than pleasure and happiness

I think that sounds negative coming from you especially when you're so good at helping others adopt a more positive attitude in life :(

>>38522545

It's survival. This is also why we're more attuned to grow fat than muscular: we evolved to defy starvation, because our ancestors had to face starving a lot, infinitely more than body-building competitions.

Fear will make you survive more than joy, in the short run, but not in the long run. So things may change, who knows.

Most defense mechanisms we see here help people carry on, but usually at the price of everything else, which means a life not worth living.

I'm not trying to be pessimistic here. I seek to be a realist when it comes to the human condition.

>>38522622
>Most defense mechanisms we see here help people carry on, but usually at the price of everything else, which means a life not worth living.
I can agree on that. Fighting with myself causes to have little energy when it comes to interaction with others.

>>38522538
>Explosive and alive
I believe I tried explaining as much. I was never the quiet kid.

>Definitely are as disconnected as I saw here
Well, I am the same person, so no surprise.

>Are you aware that you are loud as fuck?
The video I linked you was me joking around, everything else on the channel is my normal mannerisms. I just act naturally in general, so any of my commentaries can be useful in getting a good idea of my personality.

>Star Wars video
Indeed, I was a bit more down-trodden for it since it was the opposite of fun. I pretty much was playing it because I wanted to get to better things, a direct showcase of what I will do for my OCD.

>Hundreds of videos
Actually this is just my main channel, I have two others for various purposes. One of them is for a particular purpose I have and lacks commentary, the other dead but has some of my earliest commentaries when I dedicated my channel to Thief.

>Long as hell
Yep, I am not good at cutting down content, so I just upload the raw footage. I feel it makes the game feel more genuine, you get to see what I see, get to hear my commentary the entire time. It is harmful to cut out any content.

>Chris-Chan
Never thought I was that bad. Scary indeed.

>First reaction, I think
Thanks for it, I appreciate any opinions on it.

>I subbed
I noticed, thanks. As I said, right now I am not doing much due to being mostly on Second Life. When I get back to gaming I will probably be continuing, hopefully with something non-OCD based.

You do have a point. For now I'm alright staying in my safe zone. My biggest fear of in person interactions is people judging me. Here, I can share my feelings but no one knows who I am, so they have less to judge me on.

That's why I enjoy these talks with you. I tried talking to other people about my problems with my ex, including my mother, and she pretty much puts the blame on me and makes it all my fault for getting involved. Her judgement makes me feel worse.

>>38522728
>>38521602
Shit, I deleted the post number.

>>38522719
>I believe I tried explaining as much. I was never the quiet kid.

It doesn't show from how you write. I had no idea just how different you were outside of a 4chan post. It's good that I saw!

>The video I linked you was me joking around, everything else on the channel is my normal mannerisms. I just act naturally in general, so any of my commentaries can be useful in getting a good idea of my personality.

You are still loud as hell in other videos I saw. xD

> a direct showcase of what I will do for my OCD.

Do you mention it in the vids? Because, for the few minutes I watched, it wasn't obvious at all.

>Yep, I am not good at cutting down content, so I just upload the raw footage. I feel it makes the game feel more genuine, you get to see what I see, get to hear my commentary the entire time. It is harmful to cut out any content.

While I understand, do you think there are people out there who will watch an hour of this?

>Never thought I was that bad. Scary indeed.

It's not that bad, in that I can watch you play games, I can't do anything Christ-related.

>>38522749

In the long run, you may decide to see a therapist. But do so when you feel like it. I only did when I knew enough on my own about various concepts.

Whenever you're ready, not one second before.

We need an agoraphobia test.

I may have some of that shit.

>>38522873
https://www.online-therapy.com/agoraphobia/test
https://psymed.info/agoraphobia-test

Coats, any video I should watch? What's a cool game you enjoyed?

>>38522906

Thanks; one says zero despite answers that clearly suggest it, and the other says I may have some mild agoraphobia.

One problem I have is that I find it difficult to evaluate certain things. For instance, how do I feel in public? I've always felt ill at ease in public, but I've learned to handle it, so I don't think I realise what's normal to feel in a crowd of people.

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I know a lot of energy will be spent on handling thoughts and emotions related to other people around me. So I do get to feel OK but it requires a ton of work:

>people are nice
>I look OK
>everything is fine
>it's not dangerous
>nobody cares
>I shouldn't care

Etc. So while I may think I'm doing fine, it's against odds that may not exist for normal people.

>>38522790
>It's good that I saw!
Indeed, I wasn't kidding about acting like a bee. I get highly energetic.

>You are still loud as hell
I knew I was a bit vocal, but I always thought others louder than me. At work I tend to be quiet to not say anything autistic for example. Basically I can control when I get enthusiastic, but once I do it spirals like this.

>Do you mention it in the vids?
Not so much, it would be more the general pattern of what I play. I do recall one of my Heretic videos had me talking about how much I hated the Wheel of Time series and yet had to read it.

>Do you think there are people out there?
Potentially. If not, it isn't too big of a deal. Unlike my father, I wasn't recording to get views. It is more of an archive for me, to go back and relive past memories, and share it with those that don't mind watching. I understand it isn't everyone's tastes, but I like offering more content than less. I always find myself saying (when I do get to watch someone else's video and my OCD doesn't take over) how I wish I could see more of the footage. You can skip around if I leave it all in, you can't add more if I remove it, so I consider it the better option.

>Not that bad
That is good to hear indeed. I don't wish to end up like him, getting trolled by people to mess with his life. Perhaps this is one of my fears and it is possibly good to have based on what you say.

>>38522964
You know I would say Thief, but I know you haven't seen that game. Feel free to use my playlists, I always try to order things the best I can. I wish I could have sub-playlists.

>>38523150
>Do you think there are people out there?

Coats, do you know that you can quote by highlighting the bit you want to quote and then click on the number and it quotes all that automatically?

Spreading 4chan oldfag knowledge. I'm telling you because there's a chance you type your quotes.

>>38523192
>Coats, do you know that you can quote by highlighting the bit you want to quote and then click on the number and it quotes all that automatically?

Thanks Nick, you were quite correct. I just manually would type it out. Never assumed there was an easier option.

>>38523097
I took the test and it says I have mild agoraphobia as well. I experience the same as you do. I haven't left my house in a month because I find it makes me feel less anxious in general. I feel way more relaxed sitting at home and I stocked up on junk food. I'm top comfy desu.

>>38523150
>Potentially. If not, it isn't too big of a deal. Unlike my father, I wasn't recording to get views. It is more of an archive for me, to go back and relive past memories, and share it with those that don't mind watching. I understand it isn't everyone's tastes, but I like offering more content than less. I always find myself saying (when I do get to watch someone else's video and my OCD doesn't take over) how I wish I could see more of the footage. You can skip around if I leave it all in, you can't add more if I remove it, so I consider it the better option.

Mac does both: he has a channel for reviews and a channel for footage.

His channel is worthabuy and I used to watch everything chronologically. Unitl I got sick of it. But still did it. There's a little OCD in me. I've actually realised I do certain things for no reason other than I got used to doing it.

I see you guys in me, it's scary.

>>38523150
>That is good to hear indeed. I don't wish to end up like him, getting trolled by people to mess with his life. Perhaps this is one of my fears and it is possibly good to have based on what you say.

If you wanted to make a different kind of videos for different reasons, I could help.

>>38523271
>Thanks Nick, you were quite correct. I just manually would type it out. Never assumed there was an easier option.

Damn, I realised that sometimes what you quoted wasn't exactly what I had typed myself, so I wondered.

You're going to save so much time now! Life improved!

>>38523329
>There's a little OCD in me
Make sure to never let it control you. As you see, my life follows a cycle of trying to do what I want, then relapsing and getting worse while excusing it. Doing what I want in this case is playing the games I am familiar with and enjoy.

>>38523319

I hadn't had much human contact in over 2 weeks and I realise I feel weird out there now. This sucks.

Used to happen a lot when I was in high school and wouldn't see anyone for a month and a half. When I came back to school, everything felt weird as fuck.

Added to my object permanence issue, it was a disturbing experience and people usually noticed I was weird when I spoke to them.

>>38523375
As I said, not really in it for the views, so I wouldn't want to make things different. If I changed myself, that is one thing, but putting on an act or otherwise changing myself would just kill any enthusiasm.

>>38523397
Indeed! I am glad to know of this function, thanks Nick! A few seconds shaved off those long posts.

>>38523442
>As I said, not really in it for the views, so I wouldn't want to make things different. If I changed myself, that is one thing, but putting on an act or otherwise changing myself would just kill any enthusiasm.

You could view it as a project in itself. Edit more, etc. You may not be acting, but you come across as an act. People don't realise you're natural, and if they knew, they'd be scared.

Do you watch reviewers? Tell me which.

>>38523430
It feels like we're in different worlds. It is certainly hard to adjust back to human interactions, but it's so damn comfy to be alone. I wish I can stay like this forever but that's impossible unless if I magically get rich someday.

>>38523482
>Project in itself. Edit more.
If I edit, it would be more about special effects. It wouldn't be worth the effort. It means a lot to have it come across as freely as it does, unscripted and natural in my opinion. Others may not realize this, but luckily as I said it was always about myself with the benefit of those that wouldn't mind.

>Do you watch reviewers?
Not at all. I avoid watching other people in general due to not wanting spoilers for games I haven't played.

Have you seen my animation series? Final playlist option in the list. The third one is copyright blocked in America for music I made with stock sound effects.

>>38523556

It's more possible than you know.

Save some money and you can live in Asia for decades on your savings.

>>38523566
>Not at all. I avoid watching other people in general due to not wanting spoilers for games I haven't played.

Even if you played games daily without giving a fuck, you'd still not have time to play all these games; if we consider your OCD on top of it, you will never ever play these games. You won't spoil anything, you will get to see some bits of games you will otherwise never see.

Do you realise that at the rate you are going, you will die before you've played 1% of the games you'd want to play?

I don't know if this sort of thinking helps you at all.

I'll check your animation series.

>>38523658
>Games you will otherwise never see
If I can beat my OCD, I get to finally see them. If not, it won't matter, because I saw the games I wanted to see.

>1% of the games you'd want to play
And thus why I need to defeat my OCD

>>38523617
Anywhere where English is mainly spoken, it's cheap, and I can have fast internet would be perfect. I have no savings though.

>>38523697

The question is: do you really enjoy being alone or do you simply suffer from social anxiety?

Coats, do you think you could make a video or record yourself talking about yourself?

It doesn't have to be public, vocaroo and a link would be fine.

Would you say you couldn't express yourself when you were younger?

Sometimes it feels like you were under pressure for too long and now you're continuously exploding.

>>38523912
>Coats, do you think you could make a video or record yourself talking about yourself?

Perhaps, though I don't know how to talk about myself or what I would say. Mostly things just come out naturally through conversation or through some stimuli.

>>38523912
>It doesn't have to be public, vocaroo and a link would be fine.
Youtube can have non-public videos, so that could work just as well.

>>38523912
>Would you say you couldn't express yourself when you were younger?
I was able to express myself as far as I recall.

>>38523912
>Sometimes it feels like you were under pressure for too long and now you're continuously exploding.
This pretty much has been how I have always been. Some of the earliest videos on my channel was when I was living with my mother. I don't have those in playlists, but if you sort by oldest videos you should see some where I used to do random stuff like review Microsoft Word. So this isn't a recent thing.

>>38523977
>was able to express myself as far as I recall.

But were you allowed to?

>>38523755
What are the signs of social anxiety?

There is a certain peace when I am alone. No one can judge me and I feel free. When I am out in public I usually feel anxious and sweaty, but sometimes I do feel like going outside because I enjoy the outdoors so I am not sure if that counts as having social anxiety. I have gone to festivals and can pull off a "normie" personality once in a while. However, I have to mentally prepare myself for it and on a good day I can handle it, but usually after a while I get frustrated and wish to go back home. It's a constant battle with myself.

>>38524091
My parents never cared what I did in my spare time, so I often entertained myself.

>>38524122
>What are the signs of social anxiety?

You don't feel at peace with others, you're scared of saying/doing things.

It feels like you'd enjoy people if it wasn't for those issues.

Don't dream of ending up alone. I did the same thing, and it turned out I love people, but I was raised to fear them.

>>38524165

That is sad.

Did they play with you?

sup

I'd be interested in hearing how my fellow low empathy bros feel about high maintenance pets. like dogs, or whatever pet there is that takes hours of your day.
i suppose if you have any thoughts about low maintenance ones i'd like to hear those as well. like fishes or a hamster.

if you dont have a dog (or whatever), would you want one? why?
how do you feel about spending a large part of your day dedicated to your pet?
what do you get out of it?

>>38524122
>>38524175
Bit more info: It can take months for me to mentally prepare for such events. I usually go out once a year to these things (I work from home). I like to treat myself. I enjoy them for a bit until I start to feel lonely and left out from everyone else. I haven't gone to any events in over a year because of this.

I could probably enjoy people. My problem is that I find it very difficult to relate to other people, so I prefer to avoid them altogether. I consider myself a cyborg for this reason. Robots think I am too normie, while normies think I am too weird. I don't fit in anywhere.

The only person I feel like I ever related to is the girl I have a crush on. Unfortunately I don't think our friendship will last very long.

>>38524261
>like fishes or a hamster.

Fish are super high maintenance. Wrong anything about the water and they die.

Get a two or three cats.

>>38524274
>Unfortunately I don't think our friendship will last very long.

I predict she will make a move on you when you least expect it.

https://youtu.be/3sMALbhJU6M

>>38524257
I did describe that, didn't I?

My mother tended to be more of a gamer, but it was more I watch her while she played. I had board games, but I never got to play with my parents, so I just used the figurines like I would other toys. I believe I talked about chess and silly putty.

My father mostly was working, so he would play with me less, at least until I got old enough. Then he played Doom 3 multiplayer, which as I said felt boring as he would just brag about being the best on the leaderboards while I had a weak computer that could barely run the game. I tried to convince him to play older games, I got him to play Unreal once, but he quit because he said his vision was being strained. He has since said he could handle it again, but he just isn't a gamer.

>>38524299
That would be interesting. So what do you think? Does it sound like I have social anxiety or something else?

Also, nice music selection once again.

English isnt my mother tongue so expect some grammatical errors

My problems are the following

Ive got bullied at school and was ignored at home throughout my childhood which made me unable to experience emotions or interests beyond a short lived or shallow level

Recently i learned about evolutionary psychology and i think because of that im also unable or extremly unlikley to get into romantic relationship that will not end in divorce or me beeing unhappy

To top it all off im also circumcised what means that im most likley also unable to experience any kind of hedonistic pleasure beyond an shallow level

wat do

File: wew lad.png (964KB, 2531x1399px) Image search: [Google]

964KB, 2531x1399px

>>38519081

>Browse /r/sanctionedsuicide
>Intense thread about some dude who killed himself
>See ad to the right of pic

The world was designed for our suffering. I laughed though

>>38524342
>quit because he said his vision was being strained

The lame ass excuses narcs have. My parents said they gave up games because "can't handle 3D".

"Dad, life is in 3D, how do you handle it?"

Make an account on lichess!

I want some threaders over there.

>>38524356
>That would be interesting. So what do you think? Does it sound like I have social anxiety or something else?

Social anxiety, yes, which is just anxiety. The root of that anxiety is likely the same as for the rest, meaning there may have been some fearful people in your past, parents, for instance.

Type O Negative is a great band. Was.

>>38524421
>Recently i learned about evolutionary psychology and i think because of that im also unable or extremly unlikley to get into romantic relationship that will not end in divorce or me beeing unhappy

Tell me what you think of evolutionary psychology.

As to circumcision, can you have orgasms?

>>38524279
>Fish are super high maintenance
noooo... we had a fishtank when i grew up. those motherfuckers were basically living in the wild. you just sprinkle some food on them every morning and then finally get to scrubbing the tank clean once you can hardly see through the glass.

i'd like to hear your thoughts and feeling about cats though, even though you're high empathy.

>>38524438

Damn, that thread...

Internet is funny. I worried when I got gay ads.

>turned out LO browsed gay prons to mess with my searches; also saved various gay porn images in random folders

Once, she downloded the Nicolas Cage add-on for Chrome. Every image was replaced by Nicolas Cage. Since I on 4chan, I thought 4chan got hacked in hilarious ways, but the I saw the same stuff on Facebook and panicked.

Best prank ever.

>>38524470
There certainly was. My mother was distant and other family members were violent and aggressive besides my grandmother. Then at school I was bullied everyday, so yeah I've spent a great deal of my life in fear of others.

>>38524455
>Lame ass excuse
Indeed. The reason I think he stopped was because we were finally on a playing ground I could be able to compete with him. He couldn't keep up. Yet it was wrong that I "gave up on Doom because he was beating me". He can't understand that I gave up on Doom 3 because I was limited to an 800x600 display due to my mother liking small resolutions, a weak computer that could barely handle the game at that resolution, and the fact that I found the game to be heavily linear. Plus the fact that adding a few enemies to a map was enough to slow down the game to crawling levels.

>Lichess
Looking it up, it looks safe enough for my OCD. It is like a flash game, which has always been an exception to the rule unless I found it connected to some game I haven't played.

>>38524491

>>Tell me what you think of evolutionary psychology

I try to avoid most stuff that seems to come from a hatred towards women due to not sounding objective. But the core idea of life forms evolving over millions of years and developing certain characteristics because of it (like gynocentrism for humans) sounds reasonable.

>> As to circumcision, can you have orgasms?

I dont know. I dont really enjoy or feel anything during masturbation so i guess that means no. But maybe thats how its supposed to be?

How do psychoanalysts/psychologists deal with the following problem.

A woman is receiving therapy, she talks about problems with her marriage--her husband. You don't know whether she's telling the truth or not, but best case scenario she tells her version of the story which is not the whole truth.

Obviously her husband is going to seem like the problem, so you respond, affirm or validate what she says, and she goes home with a smug look on her face and claims "see I was right all along, even my shrink says you're an asshole!"

The alternative is you don't say anything, you don't offer any advice or explanations that involve the husband, but I can't see this happening if it's such a big aspect of the story.

Getting the husband's view in is not a possibility, at least where I'm from therapists are not allowed to independently have clients that are related to each other (I was actually declined the services of this therapist because of this).

More generally you could swap out husband for work, boss, friend etc. The client could just be a liar and could just use you as confirmation for own delusions.

First time here and not really sure what's going on in this thread. I think I've got the gist of it; I just post my woes and someone will comment on them? Okay here goes:

Since the beginning of this year every day I have felt worse and worse both physically and mentally. I don't enjoy anything anymore, I struggled to concentrate long enough to read even one page of manga, I've completely lost my sex drive so I can't even masturbate anymore and I don't enjoy looking at porn or waifus or anime which was 99% of what I spent my time on before. So I'm now just left with "existing" every day as a biological process that has to be maintained with food and water and washed at regular intervals to prevent negative feedback signals.

How do I get over this and go back to being the happy fapper I used to be?

>>38524523

I guess it depends on the fish.

I never had pets as a kid, because my parents hated pets, I know why now.

My experience with cats is not extended. But people with low empathy may enjoy a cat's independence.

LO was all about cats. Too many feels.

I like when cats force their little heads against me, it's cool stuff. Rubbing their widdle heads.

>>38524591

Look no further, but don't imagine you're a hermit. You're made to be with other humans too.

>>38524594
>Yet it was wrong that I "gave up on Doom because he was beating me". He can't understand that I gave up on Doom 3 because I was limited to an 800x600 display due to my mother liking small resolutions,

99% sure he knows exactly what was up. Too ashamed of losing to you, he chose an excuse.

>>38524594
>Looking it up, it looks safe enough for my OCD. It is like a flash game, which has always been an exception to the rule unless I found it connected to some game I haven't played.

You won't find an "influence" on chess, as it's one of the oldest games in human history.

>>38524615
>I try to avoid most stuff that seems to come from a hatred towards women due to not sounding objective. But the core idea of life forms evolving over millions of years and developing certain characteristics because of it (like gynocentrism for humans) sounds reasonable.

Evolution, I know, but I mean specifically what you think of evolutionary psychology, because it sounds like it could be anything whatsoever.

>>38524615
>I dont know. I dont really enjoy or feel anything during masturbation so i guess that means no. But maybe thats how its supposed to be?

Don't blame circumcision for that. This is very different. If you've never had an orgasm and are above 12, the problem is something else.

Why do you even masturbate if you feel nothing?

Do you lust for women?

>>38524736
>Too ashamed of losing to you
Exactly what I believe. A shame, my OCD makes it hard to play with people because I like unmodified versions of my games in general. Note Doom is a weird exception, there I can handle source ports because I dislike the game in general and it is the only way it can become somewhat bearable.

>Won't find an influence
Good indeed.

>>38524789
Oh, I should mention I have created an account, but I don't know what to do now.

>>38524676

In my opinion, the therapist would ask question to force the patient to see the other side of the story, or to tell the story from the point of view of the husband.

One thing my therapist made me do back when she still tried to do cool exercises, was she asked me to attribute a chair to different people, and when I sat in them, I was supposed to speal as though I was the person. This failed because I couldn't just act like that, so I said what I imagined they'd say, but not as them.

Also, when there's a conflict with the relationship, the husband would definitely be invited to speak with the therapist, first alone and then together with the wife.

Therapists are aware that patients don't always tell the truth, by design or because they don't realise it.

I'm not therapist but that's my take on it.

>>38524687

Sounds like heavy depression to me.

Try this:

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38524709
>You're made to be with other humans too.
But if I feel best when I am alone, isn't it meant to be this way? I don't particularly see what's wrong with a sheltered lifestyle.

>>38524811

What's your chess name?

>>38524709
other than the fish i never had pets as well. i asked for a dog a couple of times, though im not sure why. my dad doesnt like pets so we didnt get any.

would you like to have a cat now or in the future?

i find them pretty cool, when i come across one on my walks i usually stop to widdle it's head. but i would not want one for myself, maybe it's just that my appartment's to small..

>>38524843
>But if I feel best when I am alone, isn't it meant to be this way?

No. These are just side effects of the abuse you went through.

>I don't particularly see what's wrong with a sheltered lifestyle.

For now, no. But much later, you will. Life is so much better with other people.

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>>38519081
I feel like utter crap. There was this coworker that I was interested in and she seemed to return the feelings. First time at asking her out, she agreed then she flaked; found out later she had legitimate reasons why (phone broke). Second time, she had work. Then we met while switching shifts (I take over after her) and she suggested a coffee date again. I was gonna ask her next week but then I found out her foot broke and she couldn't work so they transferred temporarily to a new site. By this time I had a gut feeling we would never meet but nonetheless I hoped but last night I found out she quit her job and works elsewhere now. I'm feeling miffed because she was always forthright with me when she couldn't actually go out. I was willing to let it be water under the bridge but she always brought it up. Guess I was completely wrong about her.

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>>38524868
Nick I'm trying really hard to distract myself and not text her but having a very hard time. Tips? Please. Goal is to hold off for one week.

>>38524761

>Evolution, I know, but I mean specifically what you think of evolutionary psychology, because it sounds like it could be anything whatsoever.

I can tell you what i think is true.
Humans are Gynocentric.
*Every* behaviour can be traced back to an biological cause.
Culture is a result of biology and it cannot be changed beyond a superficial scale (if at all).
Women are (on average) attracted to strength, resources, and security.
Men are (on average) attracted to youth, beauty, and loyalty. Of course there are many more attractive traits but these are the most sex specific.
Is this enough, because i dont really know what you asked for?

>Why do you even masturbate if you feel nothing? Do you lust for women?
Its just some kind of urge i get rid off every few days. And i dont know what you mean with "lust", but i would of cource like to sleep with them.

>>38524940
do you have any other way of contacting her?

if seems far too extreme a reaction to quit your job to get away from a date.

>>38525011
Facebook but she more or less stopped responding to my messages. And I didn't hear this from her, rather, a coworker of ours, who is a friend of mine, told me after said girl told other coworkers and even and another guy that was wanting her affection. I mean I'm no Casanova but the other guy was more or less agreed to be very very awkward and passively aggressive.

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>>38524868
>Life is so much better with other people.
Are you sure about that? In my experience, people bring drama and pain to me. I would love to interact with people, but deep down I know it's safer to stay distant and alone. I won't get hurt this way. I'm depressed over a simple rejection from a girl. Just imagine if we were to get together and we broke up. I would feel even worse. I'm too sensitive.

I once had e-friends but I ghosted them because they used too much banter and it hurt me. I've never had a good experience with people.
>>38524840
I decided to take that test. I'm in more pain than I thought.

>>38524940

Wait, how far is she now?

>>38524968

Make an account on Lichess.org.

Immerse yourself in chess.

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>>38525129
I took this test before. Here's a screenshot I found from two months ago. I'm sort of improving. Stress and depression went down, but my anxiety went up. I'm gonna make it, r-right guys?

>>38525104
how long have this been going on? i assumed there was only a matter of a few weeks between the flaking and now

>>38525003
>Humans are Gynocentric.

You'll have to elaborate.

>*Every* behaviour can be traced back to an biological cause.

Considering we are biological entities, of course. That doesn't explain anything, though.

>Culture is a result of biology and it cannot be changed beyond a superficial scale (if at all).

The point of culture is precisely that it differs from nature. It can be changed, history showed us this.

>Women are (on average) attracted to strength, resources, and security.

Are you attracted to weakness, poverty, and instability?

>Men are (on average) attracted to youth, beauty, and loyalty.

Is there anyone who doesn't like beauty and loyalty? I know plenty of people who don't like youth, especially women. But there are tons of men who like older women too.

>Is this enough, because i dont really know what you asked for?

Yes, now I know what you meant, but it's largely inaccurate, yet typical of this board.

>Its just some kind of urge i get rid off every few days.

Either you have sexual urges and do it for that, with an orgasm, or you don't. You seem confused about whether you actually masturbate to soothe your urges or not.

>but i would of cource like to sleep with them.

There's no of course. Some people don't feel lust.

So do you reach orgasms or not?

>>38525104

In other words, you didn't hear from her directly.

Just call her and see what's up.

>>38525129

As expected. Most people underrate their depression.

You need people in your life. If you had tons, losing one would be no big deal; as it is now, losing one is a catastrophe.

>>38525186

You will. In time.

In other news, LO sent me some gifts. One is a cool hardcover comic book I never knew about.

The other is wrapped and I keep it for my birthday. Don't ask when it is.

>>38525205
A few months. She broke her foot two months ago.
>>38525241
I did try calling her. Sent her a text after call failed to go through but she didn't respond to any.

>>38525366

Are you sure she even received these texts? Did you e-mail?

>>38525260
I have to respectfully disagree. I understand where you are coming from. However, I still felt depressed even when I had many e-friends. In fact, they still message me to this day. They're concerned about me because I have not responded in months.

I feel very anxious and insecure when I have friends. Like they are judging me and only speaking to me out of pity. It's worse when there's multiple individuals. It is also draining to keep up with so many people, so I am comfortable keeping one close friend I message every few weeks. I don't know why I'm like this.
>>38525313
That's very kind of her. I never get presents for my birthday. What is the name of the comic book?

>>38525432
>However, I still felt depressed even when I had many e-friends.

I'm talking offline people you can be with. E-friends just aren't the same.

You will enjoy company once you are able to control your demons. It is vital to get there.

You can disagree but it makes no difference. You don't suffer from schizoid disorder, you actually need people or you will be lonely and suffer.

The book is called something like "The Smartest Kid in the World".

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>running out of NEET time
>being pushed into a corner
>one side is running into the forest to live as a forest wizard until i hang myself
>other is once again trying to hack it at a job/school until i snap and start listening to my guardian and getting a high score
i see these tfw no gf threads and that shit is just so distant from my reality, i can't even imagine being in a position where getting laid was anything other than a fleeting thought while beating off

>>38525395
Not sure honestly but the lack of response on Facebook makes me assume that she just doesn't want to deal with me anymore. I don't have her email so I can't do that.

>>38525505

Sooner than you know, you will be inside a woman. That should be a proverb.

Take the job, friend. And I hope you're a legit Evafag. Because I am.

>>38525510

No matter, if she doesn't want to deal with you, the least she can do is say so. If not, she's not worth shit.

You have to be tough. Find someone else if she doesn't respond. You don't want someone like that in your life.

>>38525470
>offline people
Sounds scary and draining desu.
>You don't suffer from schizoid disorder
What if I do?
>The book is called something like "The Smartest Kid in the World".
I have heard of it before. What do you think the other present could be? I would get impatient and open it already.

SUMMONING:

Facet
Dan
Meta
Ethan

>>38525621
Stop making these threads, nick

>>38525366
seems really fishy. you've done your part in keeping in touch, if she doesnt want to do her part i dont see anything good coming from you putting in even more effort.

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>>38525614
>Sounds scary and draining desu.

It is when you are scared.

>>38525614
>What if I do?

You'd not feel the need for company if you did.

>>38525614
>What do you think the other present could be? I would get impatient and open it already.

It could be anything. LO is the only person, almost, who bought me gifts that were both total surprises and things I actually enjoyed.

The reason why I'm good at not opening it now is because if I do, I will have exactly zero presents for my actual birthday.

Last year, she was the only one to send me something, while she was away.

She was the only real family I ever had. Every day I'm shuffsuffering.

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>>38525226

>The point of culture is precisely that it differs from nature. It can be changed, history showed us this.

This is a pretty good explaination. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wpca1ZDIRQ
In case you dont have 30min to spare the summarisation is that Culture = Biology + Technology + Geographical region.

To regards of attraction differences see pic related (if it didnt work here is the link: http://www.tinderseduction.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/MaleMessageDistributionByIncomeBright.png). What im saying is that on average if you would ask 1000 man and women more women then man would say that they value the resources of their partner. I also havent found one study that showed me how men find wealth more important then women.

Besides you completley miss the point anyway. What i am arguing is that evolution lead to a situation where men and women prioritise diffrent things in regards to mate selection. Even if my examples were inaccurate (what i doubt) how is my overall wrong?

>Either you have sexual urges and do it for that, with an orgasm, or you don't. You seem confused about whether you actually masturbate to soothe your urges or not.

I want to sleep with women, but the act of masturbating in and of itself isnt enjoyable.

>So do you reach orgasms or not?
I dont know what an orgasm is supposed to feel like since i dont have any kind of reference. If i would have to guess my answer is no.

>>38525621
Why? Curious.
>>38525161
Yeah, will do tomorrow. Will probably end up playing mostly you though. I'm actually feeling very intense emotions though and intense longing. Is distracting my self really the only way? Or is there another way I can change my perspective?

>>38525572
Yeah I more or less have come to terms with it on a rational level but not so much emotionally.
>>38525669
Yeah... I'm gonna move on but it really sucks to have her do it this way.

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>>38525715
>You'd not feel the need for company if you did.
Yeah, if I could I would just have a lover and no friends. I'm fine with one person.
>She was the only one to send me something, while she was away.
I'm confused, are you two friends irl or online?
>She was the only real family I ever had.
Stop. This is too many feels. Just have a good time.

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>>38525828
>tfw in multiple threads
>dont want to tripfag so no bully

>>38525729
>more women then man would say that they value the resources of their partner.

Considering she'll be the one unable to work with pregnancy and then young children, yes, I can see why. Most men also prefer to make more money than their wives. You as well, I imagine.

I doubt Tinder is representative of much more than people who are into hook ups and casual sex.

>I also havent found one study that showed me how men find wealth more important then women.

Considering women is one of the reasons why men seek wealth, I don't see why you'd find such a study, indeed. It's not like you have to choose wealth OR women.

>What i am arguing is that evolution lead to a situation where men and women prioritise diffrent things in regards to mate selection.

Sure, though most people will still select a mate they're in love with.

>Even if my examples were inaccurate (what i doubt) how is my overall wrong?

I was specific on my doubts on your points. If there's any specific point you'd like me to elaborate on, feel free to ask, or even offer a counter argument.

>I dont know what an orgasm is supposed to feel like since i dont have any kind of reference. If i would have to guess my answer is no.

You'd know if you'd had one.

Do you ejaculate at all?

>>38525226

>Humans are Gynocentric. >You'll have to elaborate.

Sorry forgot that one. The term is selfexplanatory. Women are precieved to be more valueable then men. Look at the death rates of men and women from the titanic as a point of reference. http://www.titanicfacts.net/titanic-survivors.html
Women consistently survived more often then men. Across class and race

"20% - the percentage of male passengers who survived.

75% - the percentage of female passengers who survived.

22% - the percentage of male crew members who survived.

87% - the percentage of female crew members who survived."

>>38525743
>Why? Curious.

Why not? Facet and Dan are usually here by now.

Meta lurks but prefer to remain away.

>>38525743

Distraction is good sometimes. Do it.

I am very semi-relax. My house is covered in necrotic fluids and blood. My bed is covered in vomit and smashed into pieces by the air gun. I sleep on the floor in a clearing of garbage, dead insects and piss bottles I made with a bed fort of booger sheets and I like pretending I'm a prisoner of war. I carved the symbol for friendship on my forehead with a dirty butcher's knife and now it's infected and bulging out of my skull like a second son. I am the first ectomorph, and the strongest. I am special retard man with the strength of a thousand men. There's a praying mantis buried inside of my brain that comes out and crawls all over my eyeballs when I sleep for good luck. All of the windows have been boarded shut and there are thousands of dollars worth of cat food containers hoarded all over the house for the dozens of stray cats that are coexisting here. They could survive on the insects alone as they have steady locust children and head crab hunting season from the ecosystem inside of the wall colony that I smashed out with a sledgehammer. The walls are made out of meat. An alien named Joe visits me from the inside of my fridge full of stewed feces and bile. He whispers time space anomalies into my ear through his third eye and I birth them into this timeline by writing them on the wall in my blood, saving the world. The bathroom is flooded and covered in cocoons and I wash myself in the toilet water. The sink only shoots out sludge and spiders. If someone were to come inside I would smash the sledgehammer over their skull, drag them inside of the bathroom and let the spider cats turn them into a birthing vessel. I will cut off my legs soon. I am a businessman. I am god. See you soon!

>>38525828
>Yeah, if I could I would just have a lover and no friends. I'm fine with one person.

This means you could do well with friends as well. You should seek to have it all.

>I'm confused, are you two friends irl or online?

Our relationship lasted 7 years and we spent 5 of those living together. We were supposed to get married back in December.

She is now in another country and we communicate daily.

>>38525911
Why not summon Eh, or Hero for example?

>>38525787
it's harsh, but it really seems she's the one whos dealing with it poorly.
did you know her well before you decided to date?

>>38525902
>Women consistently survived more often then men.

Uh... Yes, because back then men actually meant it when they said, "Children and women first."

The captain even sank with his ship as was the tradition. The reason why women and children were prioritised was because they were weaker.

The idea that women are more valuable... So arguable that you can't just state that. It's definitely not true in most parts of the world. You must not have tested your theory on Asia or the Middle East.

Nothing just is valuable; valuable to whom?

If you have another example than the Titanic, I'm game.

>>38525928

8/10

>>38525987

Hero is busy doing quests, and if he comes, he will manifest himself.

Eh and I don't get along.

I didn't think my list through, I just typed a few random regulars who come daily usually. Hero doesn't come daily. But I could have. I do now: HERO! Thou arst summoned.

In other news, I may have found a dark truth about myself, but I won't share it because the troll is here and as with anything I could say, it'll just be ammo.

I'll ask /b/ instead.

>>38525939
At least you two are still good friends. It's always refreshing to see exes doing this rather than resenting one another.

>in school to become a therapist, because I feel that understanding people is my greatest skill
>my ability to express empathy is compromised, though
>still bitter and hurt by my father, the only person i ever truly felt love for, going and dying on me
>always wish there was someone to care about me in the same way that he did, even though i know no one's gonna suddenly swoop in and take care of me
>still can't get over it
>i want others to love me more than i'm willing to love them first
>i don't even really care about helping people, it just makes me feel a little bit better about myself
>had a crazy acid trip a while ago where i decided to turn off my empathy so that i could never be hurt by people
>it made me feel more secure, but at the same time, more empty than i've ever felt
>it's been a while, but still feels the lingering effects of the acid trip. i had to make a conscious choice to express empathy, because i came to the conclusion that pushing all other humans away from me makes me feel empty, cause i can never form a connection with them that way and it feels like connecting with others is the only way to break through the soul crushing depression and dissociation
>losing myself in the vagueness
>feel broken
>who the fuck am i to tell people how to better themselves

i wish i were high right now, i can't bare to feel my real feelings anymore. fuck everything

>>38525988
No but oh well. C'est la vie.

>>38526053
Guess I should've asked it it was random or not, like a normal person.

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>>38526237

She and I were alone against the world. I will never be able to be separate from her. It hurts all the time. She told me she cries to sleep every night, and I can't handle that.

And I'll stop there because trollfag.

If I can, I should stop sharing personal things entirely. Sucks but this is why we can't have nice things.

>>38526261

Take it step by step. Experiencing all these will make you a better therapist, and in ways that you can't take a class on. If I ever get my degree in this, nothing will beat the experience and knowledge I have from just having suffered those things. It will be the same with you.

Once you get better, your empathy will come back and you will be able to care for others. You cannot care for others if you aren't OK. This is why your mind focuses on yourself first. You can't rescue anyone from drowning if you can't swim.

>>38526326
Is troll only after you? Or should everyone keep one thing in mind before posting? Sorry, I haven't been following too closely.

>>38526326
Don't worry Nick. At least you two are still in each others lives one way or another. How do you handle keeping your relationship platonic since then on? Seems difficult to adjust.
>>38526392
I'm curious too. I don't really know what's going on. This is my third time in this thread.

>>38525884

>I doubt Tinder is representative of much more than people who are into hook ups and casual sex.

Thats true, i doubt that this difference is noteworthy, but you got a point.

>Considering she'll be the one unable to work with pregnancy and then young children, yes, I can see why. Most men also prefer to make more money than their wives. You as well, I imagine.

I think you assume i meant "strength, resources, and security." as an insult, but thats not the case. It seems logical just like you said.

>I was specific on my doubts on your points. If there's any specific point you'd like me to elaborate on, feel free to ask, or even offer a counter argument.

I always appreciate critism and corrections.

>Do you ejaculate at all?

Yes

>Uh... Yes, because back then men actually meant it when they said, "Children and women first."

Why should it now be diffrent?

>The reason why women and children were prioritised was because they were weaker.

That sounds strange. What proof do you have that this was a primary factor and not just the fact that they were women or children?

>You must not have tested your theory on Asia or the Middle East.

I dont know much about these places thats true and i could only speculate as to why that is the case. I guess i will do some research and tell you about the results.

>Nothing just is valuable; valuable to whom?
The reason or purpose of life is reproduction itself. Read "the selfish gene" its a good book and explains that logic in the first two or three chapters.

>always too depressed to talk to people
>but not doing so only adds to the loneliness
>forever trapped in limbo

Do I just have to force myself? Is there really no other way?

>>38526392
>Is troll only after you?

Mostly. There are a few others, some occasionally take a jab at Facet for his DID but I'm the main target, thankfully.

It's personal, but I'm unsure what the reason is. It's usually one of these:

1. since I have commited adultery, some of them hate me for it, potentially due to their own life story, and having been betrayed the same way I betrayed my fiancee

2. they wanted to be therapists but realised it's not what they really wanted, or that they didn't have it in them and they hate to see me doing it like that on 4chan (hence "armchair psychology" and "pop psychology" comments, both of which are in error, since everything I say is in line with mainstream psychology and much I take from my own therapist, my own direct knowledge of people with mental disorders, etc.).

3. they once asked me for help and I disappointed them, either by not responding quickly enough, or missing their post (which I often do, by accident), or giving them an answer they didn't like.

It's usually one of these.

It's cool, it means everyone else is safe.

>>38526452
Welcome aboard then! I've been in and out but too absorbed in myself to notice things that don't relate to me. Feels natural though, when things aren't going well to be a little selfish. Need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you help others with theirs, as they say before liftoff.

>>38526452
>How do you handle keeping your relationship platonic since then on? Seems difficult to adjust.

As well as when you spent 5 years having sex regularly. We were more intimate than we'd be with our family, so it's weird. I still buy her things, I still want her to be happy. We parted when we still loved each other, so it's the hardest.

>>38526384
Thank you for your input, Nick. Can I ask you a question, though? Why do you do this series of threads? Does it actually feel good inside you when you help people? Obviously it's the 'good' or 'kind' thing to do, but do you actually get something out of it? Does the act of helping just come naturally to you?

>>38526522
>adultery
you cheated on your fiancee? i would have never thought...you seem so kind...

>>38526475
>Thats true, i doubt that this difference is noteworthy, but you got a point.

The difference is huge. Just comparing elaborate dating websites for adults and Tinder. It seems to me that if you're under 25 or if you only want casual relationships, you go on Tinder. I don't think any man thinks, "I am looking for my future wife, let's go Tinder!"

>I think you assume i meant "strength, resources, and security." as an insult, but thats not the case. It seems logical just like you said.

I don't see any of these as an insult, I just don't see why anyone would want their opposites.

>Why should it now be diffrent?

Ask yourself: would you die to save the wives and children of other people? If no, then tell us why so we may both learn the answer to that question.

If you ejaculate, you must orgasm, I'd imagine. This may sound dumb but what do you feel as you ejaculate?

>That sounds strange. What proof do you have that this was a primary factor and not just the fact that they were women or children?

Because that's what happens in any security code for building evacuation and the rest. If you need to climb out of something on your own, being a man will help, as opposed to being a child or a woman.

I you drop a man, a woman, and a child into the icy waters of the Atlantic, which one do you think is more likely to survive? Certainly not the child, and women don't tolerate the cold as well as men, this is verifiable in your daily life, and the reason is they keep much of their heat around their reproductive organs; also muscles help isolate temperature.

>I dont know much about these places thats true and i could only speculate as to why that is the case. I guess i will do some research and tell you about the results.

In most countries, you don't treat women the same as we treat them in the West. I have an Irani woman friend, when she came here to study, she felt like she was a princess and couldn't understand why feminism even existed here.

cont.

I can say that for today, I'm happy, went out with friends, went home, listened to some good music and thinking with a clear head, I can say that I'm happy, just for today, and that's good enough, for today.

>>38526475
>The reason or purpose of life is reproduction itself.

That's not the reason, that's the cause. To assume a purpose from a cause is something the religious people Dawkins criticises do.

>Read "the selfish gene" its a good book and explains that logic in the first two or three chapters.

I happen to disagree with Dawkins' wildest theories. There are aspects of biological behaviour that he seems to completely ignore, which go against his theory, such as individuals killing themselves or sacrificing themselves for the group. The selfish gene theory cannot account for those events.

That's why what you term "evolutionary psychology" is a very risky term, usually used to comfort certain beliefs that don't actually stand the test of reason, in my opinion.

>>38526477

Start by doing it here. When I first started opening up, it was online, to strangers. It was a real help. Once you tell your big secrets, it is never so hard to do again afterwards.

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>>38526555
Nice numbers

>loved each other
Serious question here. Not sure if this would be more theoretical or not, how dose one know that the love and feelings are requited? There must be a way to make the other person prove it..?

>you just know/feel they love you!
No, feelings are hard to understand. There is always doubt and uncertainty involved. Looking for some sort of guideline or objectivity.

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>>38526586
>Can I ask you a question, though?

I love questions.

>>38526586
>Why do you do this series of threads?

Over a year ago I did a similar series of threads, on this board, about fitness. The idea was to give robots the basics of how to control their bodies, in an attempt to make them feel better. Doing so, I realised my interest was in psychology more than anything and the issues discussed were more often psychological than physical. That's where I met Dan, who would troll the shit out of my threads by ranting about Chad and his glorious genetics. Chanting religious bullshit about FACE, FRAME AND HEIGHT, FACE, FRAME AND HEIGHT. Holy shit...

I started this series back in March. At the time, helping others was the only thing I could do to ease my own suffering. I was in such a bad state that I could do this thread for 15 hours straight. It was my only happiness.

>Does it actually feel good inside you when you help people?

Yes, I feel invested, like it's a serious mission. Other people are the only serious things in my life.

> but do you actually get something out of it?

Yes. Not always, and it's often painful but it's virtually the only activity that I don't find trivial. If I can make a change for someone, that is huge to me.

>Does the act of helping just come naturally to you?

I love helping, so whenever I can, I do. I'm the same offline. I'm not a doormat, I don't always help everyone necessarily, but whenever I can, yes. There may be any number of reasons for that. I had two younger brothers, and we all lived in an abusive family, so I learned early on that I could protect these smaller beings, and that I should.

So I did.

Hey everyone. Just checking in. I'm sitting by the water and drinking. Not too much obviously, only beer. It's great. How is everyone?

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>>38526681
>you cheated on your fiancee? i would have never thought...you seem so kind...

Adultery (I never call it "cheating" because that term always sounds bad to me, as if relationships were a game and etc, so I refer to it as either adultery or betrayal) isn't always an act of cruelty. I never meant anyone any harm. I tried to hurt the least amount of people possible, but couldn't hold on to living a lie all the time. So it all crashed in the worst possible ways.

The whole thing caused me much torment from beginning to end, but everyone of my actions was motivated by love and care, even if the results were ultimately destructive.

I understand this may not make much sense.

>>38526730

Keep these feels in mind. Keep doing things that make you happy, keep busy. It's very good!

I'm glad.

>>38526775
>how dose one know that the love and feelings are requited? There must be a way to make the other person prove it..?

This is a problem my fiancee had. It was obvious to me that she loved me. Having empathy lets you know that stuff easily.

If you have to be more rational about it, I'd suggest asking yourself questions: does she do anything that suggests she doesn't love me?

Don't try to make people prove it, because it's not always possible. If you were asked to prove your love, what would you do?

>No, feelings are hard to understand. There is always doubt and uncertainty involved. Looking for some sort of guideline or objectivity.

It's not hard for everyone. I just knew. I could tell by how the person looked at me. If you can't use this, observe the acts.

>>38526931
>I'm sitting by the water and drinking.

Comfy! What's shaking?

Hey there lads, new guy here. I dunno why i'm posting, I just felt like it, specially if I can talk to new people around here. As my "presentation card", I guess I do have to say I've been diagnosed with depression, so there's that.
I'm on a very unstable connection, so sorry if I'm not able to awnser to any replies, but I'll try anyways

>>38526941
it doesnt make sense
you have a group of people looking up to you
you preach about loving to help people. yet look at what you did
adultery does not happen by accident and you purposely decided to do it without caring about others
its selfish and yes it is cruel
did it make your fiancee feel pain? obviously yes so it is an act of cruelty
im very disappointed in you

>>38526931
Had a few beers myself a while ago, cheers m8

>>38527033

Welcome to this thread!

I'm very interested in knowing how officially diagnosed depressive people fare on this test:

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38526941
>everyone of my actions was motivated by love and care

Could you explain how this could occur? I'm genuinely curious.

>>38527078
translation: nick is a selfish prick and uses "love" to justify himself

>>38527028
I don't really fish. I just tag along and relax with people who do. It's so comfy. I'm actually proud of myself since i didn't drink any hard liquor like I usually do. I'm beyond the angry/rage phase of drunkeness now. Feels good. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to feel like a human when sober.

Well now I am being dramatic. I had about 10 pints of beer though.

>>38527056
Cool lol. I'm at Musov by the way if you heard it. Sitting less than 100 meters from the iconic tree in the water. Cheers!

>>38527044
>im very disappointed in you

I know which posts are yours, I'm just playing along as others may have the same questions.

>you have a group of people looking up to you

Obviously not you, and I don't think the general sentiment is about looking up to me. But even if that were the case, I can't change the past.

>you preach about loving to help people. yet look at what you did

While you can still "preach" about loving people even after having hated them (Saint Paul started by killing Christians, and I never heard a Christian argue against him for that), I disagree with two things: I don't always preach love of people (depending on what they did to you) and my own experience isn't related. I maintain that everything I did was motivated by love. This won't make sense without much more details but I doubt you're interested in this beyond trying to paint a negative portrait of myself. Feel free to try, people will know what to think.

>adultery does not happen by accident and you purposely decided to do it without caring about others

I agree with the first part, it's not an accident, but I disagree about the second. I care immensely about everybody, which may have been the problem to begin with.

>its selfish and yes it is cruel

Each situation has its own complexities. It isn't always as cut and dry. Not that you'd want to understand, I know, but others are reading.

>did it make your fiancee feel pain? obviously yes so it is an act of cruelty

Feeling pain doesn't mean cruelty is automatically there. One cannot be cruel without intending to be, and I never intended pain.

>im very disappointed in you

You are not at all disappointed since you never had any respect for me to begin with.

You have to be the most dishonest anon in these threads.

>>38527078

Not in details in case LO ever checks on the thread. A short summary would be something like: I refused to let anyone down.

>>38526996
> If you were asked to prove your love, what would you do?
Should I answer this? Do you want me to go more in depth? I understand you may not want to as it's a off duty day. (Not being passive aggressive this time)

>>38526706
> "I am looking for my future wife, let's go Tinder!"
Yeah thats true. Unfortunately i couldt find anything serious that supports the idea of confidence beeing an attractive trait for men or youth for women, even tho i think its quite obvious. Like the Middle East i will try to look for something that i can show you next time we speak.

>I don't see any of these as an insult, I just don't see why anyone would want their opposites.

You shouldt look at these things in terms of opposites but rather: "All else beeing equal would you rather have someone as a partner who is wealthy or young?" Men should more often answer "young" and women more often "wealthy".

>Ask yourself: would you die to save the wives and children of other people? If no, then tell us why so we may both learn the answer to that question.

Im not sure if i would save the child or wife of someone else. I would have to take into account the kind of death or if sympathize with the potential victim. If its a painless death like beeing shot and i happen to save someone i like, then i could see myself saving them. But honestly i cant say (not even guessing) how high that chance may be. In case it would be someone i dont like, then i certainly wouldt save them. And if i would hate the potential victim i could even see myself enjoying myself while i watch. I guess you have to ask more specific questions in that regard.

>If you ejaculate, you must orgasm, I'd imagine. This may sound dumb but what do you feel as you ejaculate?

"I guess thats that. Back to vidya."

>Because that's what happens in any security code for building evacuation and the rest. If you need to climb out of something on your own, being a man will help, as opposed to being a child or a woman.

Very intersting perspective. I actually never thougt of that, most likley because there is such a strong overlap between beeing physically stronger and beeing male.

cont

>>38527119
>translation: nick is a selfish prick and uses "love" to justify himself

I'm not even trying to justify anything. I doubt anyone would understand without having lived it. The stigma is such that I don't hope to find much sympathy, and that's fine. People are willing to do anything against injustice where they see it. Someone offered to have me beat up by Hell's Angels, for instance. Irony being that this person was herself a cheating liar, but unlike me, never admitted it to her husband.

I was spared the beating, but it could have happened.

>>38527160
>Sometimes I wonder what it's like to feel like a human when sober.

Just like that, I think.

10 pints?

>>38527266
>I understand you may not want to as it's a off duty day.

I'm always on duty.

Yes, please answer.

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>>38527216
Were less than a 2 hours ride from each other

Nick, want to talk about my intimacy problems or you're busy?

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>>38527066
(On mobile here, other problem I need to get over)
I'm actually surprised about these results, since I've been feeling better overall this last week, though it is true that as of right now i've been forced to stay away from a person i'm basically emotionally dependant on. Still, i'm surprised.

>>38527293
Just like that ... Seems surreal

Yeah 10 pints. Or half litre bottles. Not too much alcohol. I also brought vodka but honestly i don't want to drink it.

>>38527229
its a fact that other anons look up to you
i dont understand how i can be dishonest when i am begin honest with you
i dont understand how you can do that to someone you love then say "i love to help people"
you're a hypocrite at best

>>38527270
>"All else beeing equal would you rather have someone as a partner who is wealthy or young?" Men should more often answer "young" and women more often "wealthy".

Sure, but that's like asking, "Would you rather someone who's missing a leg or an arm?" and then you do get an answer but you can't conclude that men and women prefer people with missing limbs.

The reason for this result is simple. Women do have a tendency to prefer older men, in part due to men's own behaviour when they're younger, and men usually handle themselves financially. The traditional model remains what happens even in very feminist nations: the more people can do what they want, the more traditional they go.

So, for a man, a wealthy wife isn't necessarily interesting and can even be dangerous: he won't be needed, and it will be against the traditional model, both insctinctively and socially.

Much of that is self-generated, that's why it's not all that important. Exceptions are frequent.

>"I guess thats that. Back to vidya."

If it sucks so much, why do it at all? I can't imagine you feel much sexual relief from such lame orgasms.

>>38527340

I do want to talk about your intimacy problems. One of my favourite subjects.

>>38527330
We should meet sometimes. I will do my best not to get shitfaced.

>>38527301
>If you were asked to prove your love, what would you do?
Sacrifice. Sacrice everything preventing me from being with them. Time, people, interests, money. In that way they would see that they are my priority.
Often times people speak words and behave in ways just because it's engraved into them. "Need to fill my role in this situation as a respectful member of society". My fear is that it isn't genuine.

>>38527367

Don't forget to use a name!

Yeah, depression is often underrated by sufferers.

>>38527376

Are you constantly pissing?

>>38527416
>One of my favourite subjects.
Why tho? I wish i could tell something breathtaking but i dont have such experience.

I'm in love with my psychiatrist. She thinks I have sz I think I'm the victim of a conspiracy... It's a really cute relationship and the transference is undeniable help I saw her at the grocery store with her husband and kids. I dream about another life where we went to Med school together

>>38527395
>its a fact that other anons look up to you

You normally say otherwise.

>i dont understand how you can do that to someone you love then say "i love to help people"

It seems the situation is more complicated than you can understand.

>you're a hypocrite at best

I don't think you'd care to know the whole truth anyway. But I think this is why you're angry at me.

Keep in mind that whatever happened to you is not directly related to me, and I'd be surprised if the person who betrayed you did it for the same reasons as I did.

>>38527425
>Sacrifice. Sacrice everything preventing me from being with them. Time, people, interests, money. In that way they would see that they are my priority.

You'd only prove that you're a wuss wuss. That's not love, that's fear and dependence. It doesn't even prove anything. If someone wanted your money through marriage, they'd sacrifice everything as well, so what? It proves nothing.

>"Need to fill my role in this situation as a respectful member of society". My fear is that it isn't genuine.

Don't worry about that, if people don't want something, they never stay long.

>>38527438

I'm not sure. There's something very precious in intimacy issues. I guess I feel drawn to any kind of vulnerability, in order to heal the person. I feel particularly sensitive to intimacy issues.

I assume many women would too.

>>38527455

What medication does she give you?

>>38527431
It's funny you asked. I have a huge bladder. I only went once so far. This is like my superpower, it's one of the things i'm remember for. It was a big topic today.

>>38527543

Same here. Record was no pissing from 6 am to 10 pm.

At work, I'm known as the man who never eats and never needs to go to the toilet. The latter is less well known, though.

>>38527422
Maybe we could, but I dont have a driving license and pretty much hate traveling so I dont get out much

>>38527543
>>38527559
Screw you guys, I have to piss every 5 minutes when I drink beer

>>38527540
Abilify injections, under a community treatment order (forced medication) she, controls me. I don't know if she knows I think about her all week. She's been asking me if I'm hiding things from her, maybe I should just go for it and tell her

>>38526706

I guess the question now is how strong the influence of factors like "strength" or "gender" are wheter or not someone is going to be saved. I cant think of any way as to how to seperate these to factors in a large scale. Do you have any idea?

>That's not the reason, that's the cause. To assume a purpose from a cause is something the religious people Dawkins criticises do.

Call it bad phrasing. In that case "reason" and "cause" are the same. Lets assume the following: A and B both reproduce, but are distinct beeings. Their children behave in the same way as their parents lets call them a and b (a acts as A, vise versa). If A is better at reproducing itself then B in a shorter timespan, then A will inevitably outgrow B. Thats just what has to happen given these circumstances. Therefore we can conclude that reproduction is both the cause and reason of live. Just read "the selfish gene". I dont feel competent enough to explain it in an professional manner.

>which go against his theory, such as individuals killing themselves or sacrificing themselves for the group.

If we would talk about individuals beeing the ones who reproduce, then yes. If we would assume genes reproduce, then one individual killing itself to save the larger amount of genes is logical.

>>38527528
>I assume many women would too.
I dont know. Maybe they can sense that i'm insecure. I always was weird because i was more interested in "tattooing" my hands with pen rather than teasing girls. Why gives a two cents about shy and weird boy who distances himself from girls.

Hello.
I woke up for no reason slightly before 5am about half an hour ago. Just gona lurk itt.

>>38527566
I have a license and a company car so that wouldn't be a problem. Though I am me. That's the thing. I wouldn't want to meet myself.

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>>38527066
This test is fucking stupid.
How is a psychopath going to have anexiety ?
Just because of that out of breath and sweaty hands I've been having since I was like 10
This is bullshit because I have literally never felt anexiety. I know it is the feel you get before like a big test or something. Yep.

>>38527589
Lol girl bladder.

>>38527507
>Don't worry about that, if people don't want something, they never stay long

You're forgetting the mediocracy part. The part where you don't neccusarily want it, but also don't want to get rid of it. The part that is neither hot or cold. Id argue that that part is the worst.

>that's fear and dependence
Way too true. Hit home.

Not saying love is something to be rationalized, but I feel that sacrifice is a big part of it. Devotion through sacrifice. I at least feel that, that, is something that is obvious, is you are the persons proiroty or not.

>>38527398

>If it sucks so much, why do it at all? I can't imagine you feel much sexual relief from such lame orgasms.

As i said its just kind of an urge. Every few days i think of some hot girl, get erected, jerk off and thats it. I guess thats just my sex drive talking.

>So, for a man, a wealthy wife isn't necessarily interesting and can even be dangerous: he won't be needed, and it will be against the traditional model, both insctinctively and socially.

Dosent this confirm that women do prefer wealthy partners or am i missing your point?

>>38527618

Do tell. She'll know about it.

>>38527676
It's not just bladder, I also crap 3x more often than an average person, my body's too fast for me m8

>>38527662
Im sure its not that bad

>>38527528
>I assume many women would too
You'd be surprised in certain situations, the lack of availability when you most need it

>>38527636
>Do you have any idea?

People used to live by a code of honor, and not respecting that caused your social death, and that's also why men literally saved women and children first.

As a man, I would also save my wife and children first, because no death can be worse than seeing your own family suffer or die.

>Call it bad phrasing. In that case "reason" and "cause" are the same.

It wasn't bad phrasing.

The selfish gene theory is not widely accepted by the scientific community, it's only Dawkins' own idea and other authors have shown compelling evidence that Dawkins is wrong.

>then one individual killing itself to save the larger amount of genes is logical.

So now some genes are selfish and others are not? That's not what Dawkins argue at all. Organisms don't just reproduce for thousands of years and suddenly decide to kill themselves or sacrifice themslves. Any individual that dies for the group was the descendent of thousands of organisms who did everything to reproduce. That argument can't hold.

What's the psychological take on heart agina?

>>38527660

Can you not connect this intimacy issue with anything?

>>38527661

Welcome back.

I have friends who are flying to Singapore soon. They were supposed to be landing tonight, but the storms are keeping them grounded.

They'll be in the ship hotel thing.

>>38527665

It's entirely possible that you suffer anxiety without feeling it. I've seen people being thoroughly disconnected from both logic and reality, and this includes their own feelings.

Unless you have a physical reason to sweat or be out of breath for no reason, it's probably anxiety that you can't feel.

You must have been messed up something nasty during childhood. I feel for you.

>>38527679
>Not saying love is something to be rationalized, but I feel that sacrifice is a big part of it. Devotion through sacrifice. I at least feel that, that, is something that is obvious, is you are the persons proiroty or not.

It loses all value when it's given because you asked for it.

You should seek the growth of your partner, and see that they want you to grow as well.

LO and I did things that made us grow into better people.

>>38527899
>Can you not connect this intimacy issue with anything?
Like what?

Alright boyos. How's everyone? Grip strength hasn't returned so I dunno what's going on there.

>>38527913
They're not going to do anything similar to my old life there. Singapore is so small and dense but everyone in it leads such separate and compartmentalized lifestyles.

Fuck chinese people fuck materialistic society fuck dividing people so intricately by which schols they want to and how much money they earn


....they'll have a lot of fun. And leave with a perfect impresion of that place. They'll probably like it.

>be me
>open thread on /b/
>it fucking explodes

Welp...

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>>38527962
I assume these things you did just happened, or else they would loose value?

>tfw still trying to recover from the fear and dependency you pointed out

>>38528012
He'll find you