You visit your 9th grade self in a dream. What advice do you

>>38487991
kick brothers ass, hit on my crush, go into radiology when you get to college, stop looking so mad all the time, say hi to people

I start jerking off in the dream since 9th grade me sure as hell isn't going to listen to or remember me. It's not like he could have done anything anyways. I wasn't cool or good looking enough to be a chad.

>>38487991
For a minute I thought 9th grade was elementary school. Anyway, um, I would tell myself what a pathetic excuse of a human being I was and that I'm right to want to kill myself because me five years from now cries himself to sleep and continues to be miserable. It's not just a bad part of your life, silly kid. It's your life, period. Kill yourself, I know you want to, you piece of shit trash. No one cares about and guess what, no one ever will.

That should work.

>>38487991
Fuck my younger self

i went to a nigger school so it wouldnt fucking matter

dont have two girlfriends from two different schools
>they meet
>everybody finds out

>sit at table by myself at lunch
>cute stacey comes says come sit with us
>should have went could of been chad

dont quit basketball to play socom 2

Don't fucking steal dad's pills you little retard. And for the love of God learn to start hiding your power level around normies, Acting weird won't make people want to figure you out, it'll just make them uncomfortable.
Remember how important your social life is. Yeah, I know going to a new high school where you don't know anyone is awkward, but just suck it up and make the best of it. You're better at making friends and influencing people than you think, when you're not actively trying to confuse them because you think that's cool for whatever dumbass reason.
Keep that shit in mind and you should be good, man. You're not stupid, you're not ugly, and when you eventually have sex you're gonna be pretty okay at it.

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I would tell 9th grade me to stop navigating life trying to do good by everyone. Having a smidgen of self-respect and a good sense of self-awareness solved 99% of my problems and it came 8 years too late.

So fix that shitty low self-opinion, because anyone who has ever had anything good to say about would agree that you are cooler and more interesting than the proverbial Chad.

>>38487991

this thread is shit and you are shit and probably a faggot, OP

Stop being a little shit right now. Just stop it. Life's hard, but it's going to go much harder if you continue like this. Grandma is going to die soon, spend even more time with her. Mom is going to go even worse, then die. You can't do anything about it, so try to make her last few years happy. Dad is too far gone, stop hoping. Connect fast with the rest of the family, don't lose your friends by being miserable.

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>>38487991
First, I kick his ass for a solid 5 minutes. Afterwards, I tell him that life doesn't get better and being yourself does jack shit. Then I tell him to hit the gym more often, and then to beat the shit out of that kid who bullies us in 10th grade. Finally as one final piece of advice, I tell him to go fucking kill himself, death is better then what you end up as.

DONT QUIT FOOTBALL AND WRESTLING

>>38487991
you arnt cool for thinking you're an atheist. you have so many religious and educational oportunities and you're waisting them. stop focusing on social aspects, people like you more than you think.

>>38487991

>That girl doesn't really like you, she thinks you're spergy and is probably making fun of you
>you should have tried to actually kiss her anyways
>stop being so spergy, don't spike your hair and dress like a UK88 punk rawker because nobody gets it and it looks weird.
>I know you want to be "authentic to yourself" but once you hit the peak of puberty you'll realize getting laid is more important to your self worth...maybe
>LOSE FUCKING WEIGHT
>hit on every girl and compliment them
>don't sperg out and think there is "le right moment"
>even when people are mean to you, don't take it personally
>when a girl does like you, say you like her back even if you don't, I promise you will get laid that way
>seriously, don't fall for the fucking "be authentic to yourself" meme.
>nobody is themselves. Be better than yourself.
>and most importantly, try to fucking get laid, you fat ass fucking sperg
>seriously, if you rode your skateboard and ate less, you'd be THIN and would get LAID

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>>38487991
>When you meet Cindy this summer, ignore her. She's a bitch.
>When you meet Barbara next year, she wants your dick. Don't be a pussy. Get your dick wet as much as you can. Train well, because you may have to fight Daniel for this pussy.
>When you meet Elisabeth in your senior year, marry her. Don't let her past, and all her life experiences make you feel inferior and or inadequate. Shell love you, but if you're a jealous, insecure, little bitch, she'll leave you in 11 month.
Good luck jackass.

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>>38487991
>she wants to be more than friends
>she isn't just fucking with you, she actually likes you
>every girl you slightly suspect is hitting on you is in
>yes, every single one of them
>stop waiting and make a move
>when a girl invites you into her room alone, or comes into your room alone, she is 100% down for things to get sexual
>stop just sitting on the bed talking you faggot
>when Michelle shows you that note on her phone asking if you'll go out with Liz, say no
>Michelle is the one who actually has a crush on you, she's just nervous so she wrote Liz's name instead
I missed out on so so so much pussy. Partially because I was just too dumb to fully pick up on all the blatant signs yet, and partially because I just couldn't actually believe a girl would be attracted to me so even when I did notice, I ignored it or convinced myself they were just fucking with me

Stop caring what everyone else thinks
Just do your own thing, you don't actually want any friends, it's just a meme
Don't worry about being a lanklet, your metabolism will flesh you out by the time you're 19

>>38487991 Stay out of drugs and don't be friends with "him"

Go shoot up the school then an hero. Its only going to get worse, might as well go out with a bang while you're young.

>>38487991
Invest more in music. Learn the theory stuff. Go into it after highschool and go HARD into it.

Dont bother with thots in highschool.
Get gains before first job. Make move before chad quit first job after wooing her.
I wouldnt listen either way but oh well

its too late at that point, couldn't fix my life after 3rd grade.

Please please please develop some self awareness you autismal weirdo, you're a weirdo with a decent memory, not the second coming of Nicola fucking Tesla. Learn some humility while you're at it.

Start lifting and eat healthier - a salad isn't gonna kill you, you fat sack of shit.

The feeling doesn't get better, only better hobbies help keep your mind off of it, so branch out right fucking now and stop playing the same goddamn games every fucking day.

Make an effort to hang out with your friends more, quit staying inside because you want to grind on Runescape, it will still be here in 20-fucking-17 when youre too tired to do anything but grind after wageslaving all day.

It's probably already too late, but you may as well make an effort, you useless fuck.

>Do not waste your time or energy on that one ginger bitch
>Go after the HP nerd sooner, she's way into you and you can bang her before you go to college
>Study harder for chem in freshman year of uni, it's easier than having to cram for the final
>Do more extracurriculars
>Don't buy any of the dumb shit you think you'll like, it's worthless and you'll use it once

>ninth grade

That's a decade too late.

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Oh boy.

Maybe to cut down on the vidya and focus on school or at least self education a bit more.
Also stop romanticizing life; college isn't so bad. You certainly won't like the healthcare field though, you end up not being too much of a people person.

As for girls... That one blonde qt probably liked you. Even if you're not interested in girls now, getting a gf could give you some confidence and social skills.

Overall, your life isn't that bad. Just stop being apathetic and don't let the internet ruin your motivation.
One last thing. Be careful of 4chan. That place is full of hidden truths, but it will make you bitter and cynical.
Hitler did nothing wrong, though.

Bye kid.

Say yes to that really hot girl that asked me to homecoming, I was scared to because I was afraid of a relationship. Big mistake

It was in your head all along

i'd have told myself to not stop playing league, i could have gone pro and i blew it just because of lazyness

Lose some god damned weight you fat piece of shitcake, your pimples won't go away but for gods sake fucking wash your face every night, you look greasy as fuck, oh and for gym? There's a nice MMA gym, here's the location, get jacked so people stop fucking with you. Trust me, feeling like your body is dying slowly because of all the workout , is better than being picked on by pricks who think they can get away with anything, oh and that girl you like? Yeah, no, shell shut you down after the first date, she'll be surrounded by white knights in the coming years so don't bother, enjoy the ladies you have now, this is the last of it, don't be so damn depressed, it gets better, trust me, also, grow a pair and stop lying to yourself. A little confidence won't kill you, and neither will a salad.

>>38488086
>>38489100
Come on anons. Put yourself on a better timeline.

Freshman year is gonna be hell, so just try to go through it and block it out as best as you can.

Never pick at your acne. Eat right. Start lifting weights and staying in shape, and for god's sake go to a doctor to get sleeping pills and acne medicine.

None of those people from middle school are your friends. You're better off just forgetting about them and making new friends in high school (which you will, by the way).

That cute girl you like with the half-blue and half-pink eyeshadow you see walking down the halls occasionally? Don't ever talk to her. Just forget she exists. It'll save you 5 years of pain and suffering.

Do your fucking homework, it's really not that hard, especially for someone who was labeled as "gifted" as a child. You won't' know it yet, but having good grades will help you immensely when you graduate.

Get involved in theater as soon as you can. It's gonna be the best thing you've ever done in your life.

And finally, keep posting on 4chan as much as you can. Enjoy every moment on that site, because it's gonna go even more to shit by the time you're 21.

Bonus: Donald J. Trump is going to run in the 2016 presidential election and he'll actually manage to win. Just thought I should warn you so you can plan accordingly.

>Get a real haircut every few weeks. Waiting until it starts getting in your eye is gay.
>Don't waste your time in college. You'll get great grades but they mean nothing if you don't do anything else with your time.
>Get started on fixing your underbite in high school because braces in college is not a chick magnet.
>Nearly everyone you know will balloon up after high school including you. Start taking care of yourself before it becomes a daunting task
>Your oneitus does have a crush on you during high school but she becomes a slut raver girl during college. Hopefully you can stop that from ever happening.
>Yeah you have a few friends but that doesn't mean that you need to be super passive when deciding what to do when you're together. There's a difference between being letting your want be known and being an asshole
>Start building your credit as soon as you can. You are very good with money.

And the most important advice I can give myself is to stop the fucking argument with your brother. 6 years of just giving each other the silent treatment is just retarded. After you patch things up he will be your best friend and role model.

>Stop wearing jorts
>Start playing chess
>You will never be a fighter pilot and even if you do, it's not that great. ROTC is a waste of time.
>While we're at it, tennis is a waste of time. Stand up to your parents about it and play soccer instead.

The racism won't end you'll always be a fucking gook chink jap off the boat.

I guess get a trade. You are fucked.

>>38489308
Aww anon, your not too old, you can still shoot up a school and an hero

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first i would tell him to stop being a fag and grow up.
and dont cheat on your first real girl friend...she was such a catch

>>38487991
DUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUMP HER AND KILL YOURSELF

>>38487991
Do your fucking homework and get good grades so your not stuck in fucking community college living at home with a 9pm curfew
The reason your life sucks is because of that so fix it
Also get into fashion earlier and your not too good for mainstream music, social media, and rap. stop shopping at hot topic and stop wearing skinny jeans

>>38490288

They're gonna be stuck here forever, arn't they?

>>38487991
>"Hey me. It's you from the future. Yeah really. Look just kill yourself now, it really doesn't get any better. Just keeps getting worse."

>>38487991
>bros b4 hoes? nah, those faggots are just jealous you could have a gf before they do, don't be a pussy, this might be your only chance.
>semen has a powerful smell, just because you think yours doesn't smell this is not true, dont you ever jerk off in public restrooms.
>do not go to college, its not worth it, your dream job only requires basic education.

>>38490348
Mind me asking what your dream job is anon?

>>38487991
>tfw you remember your very first ever gay trap picture you jerked off to which had slowly began to make you into a filthy perv
Would probably tell myself to stick to real porn.. stop that rule 34 shit

>>38490235
We are the same person god damn

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>fucking lift
>don't play vidya anymore, its not going to help you
>demand acutane ASAP
>get a real haircut, you dont look "cool" with messy/gelled hair, you just look greasy and homeless
>fuck your "friends," they will all ditch you at the nearest sign of popularity or girls
>hang around the "shallow" cool kids, they at least know how to have fun and you will meet new people at parties
>she is not special

Don't betray Rubi, she could be very well your wife now, and she loved you crazily.
You won't have a girl for the next 5 years.

PUT ATTENTION ON THAT DAMN CLASS YOUR NIGGER KEK, YOU WON'T FINISH HIGHSCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS

>>38487991
Swim more and quit taekwondo and start boxing sooner
Eat more
A lot more
Do year twelve, maybe thirteen,and do uni pathway and apply for ADFA
Join the army straight out of school not later

>She's gonna fuck your best friend instead of you

>Forget your dreams of being an artist and be a lawyer

>>38487991
fucking transition now come out of the closet you know you're fucking trans it only gets worse and you fucking end up doing it years later after living 8 years miserably

>>38487991
I'd warn myself that my dad is suicidal. Don't let him rough house with your step-brother on New Year's, he'll shatter his knee and it'll result in 3 painful surgeries for him and ultimately an infection he'll take medication for two years.

If you can't stop that at least when he comes and asks you to sign the car in your name, don't do it - or rather, question him greatly.

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>>38487991
>ask that girl out she likes you but you won't find out until years later
>take tennis more seriously you'll make your only friends through it
>don't go to uni for CS
>graduating top of your class actually doesn't mean shit you're actually average but stuck in a town of literal retards

If you're going to have a fetish for whores, don't love them.

And just try to pass your classes, you don't have the dedication to ace all of them.

-Dont start smoking, it doesnt make you look cool or interesting.
-Ditch Vanessa, shes a egotistical manipulative bitch and will get 4 times her weight when she has the kid of the guy she cheated you with, this will save you 2 years of your life.
-Dont fall for Celeste, she looks like an angel but shes a very quiet, very calculative demon and will destroy your selfsteem in the worst way possible.
-Dont even date Beatriz, 3 years wasted and the 2 3somes u will get were not as great as expected.
-Dont ever let people look you down, not everyone is against you.
-keep in college, u will need it in the future.
-ditch all those druggie good for nothing rug of life turds for brain losers you call friends, they are not, they dont even like you.
- hike more, dont ever let your father think you dont like him, he will die without you telling him you think hes a cool dad and you love him.

Don't date girls just because they like you. Alyssa is cute but super fucked up, Chris is fucking retarded, and you'll ruin an okay friendship with Alexandra for nothing.

Cut your hair and stop acting like a little bitch. You'll find some of your best friends once you do that. It's that easy.

There is only one girl worth dating. Stand up for her when the dumb bitch makes fun of her drawing, because she's actually an amazing artist. Maybe she is a little crazy and likes to hit people, but it's just a front she puts up to protect herself from bullying. If you fuck this up, she'll delete her social media after you graduate and you'll never see her again.

>>38487991
Man up right now, stop being a pussy like you are, go out to people, find this girl, hit her up, she's perfect for you
Also obviously invest in something, that will be big a few years from now

Get a fucking haircut. I know you don't think you need one, but you do. Talk to Kelly instead of Camille, you have more in common with her, anyway. Move out as soon as possible, it's only downhill for you here.

>>38487991
Don't get into a relationship with her. It will be five years of utter bliss and then she will cheat on you three months before your birthday utterly ruining your life.

>>38487991
Can I just beat my younger self with a club? Also don't trust mother, aunt and grandma, they're whores.

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Just leave. Pack up and run away. An interesting death will be more fulfilling than what's ahead of you.

Try being a little more dedicated to your school work. When you go to college, go for accounting instead of audio engineering. Also, actually do your work instead of failing every class and dropping out after one semester.

You'll still get zero girls and you'll slowly lose contact with your friends after high school.

>beg your parents to take you to the hospital to have a PET scan

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>>38487991
>take it easy at the gym so you never become a fucking cripple.
>dont cut yourself thats gay.
>take less ap classes.
>dont abandon your friends.
>shut the fuck up about being straight edge
>get your license asap
>join xc/track in addition to wrestling
>stop complaining on social media and out loud
>fake being confident
>get 8 hours of sleep a night
>dont cut weight

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>>38487991
Your academics mean nothing. You can get those straight A's if you want, just like I did, but it won't do you any good.
If you want to truly gain some experience and insight, pick up some hobbies and don't focus so much on school. Go learn guitar and study music like you wanted to. Now, as a freshman, you have all the necessary resources to go about such endeavors.
Cut down on the video games too. They're not an adequate replacement for such things, and you will become addicted to the immediate gratification that they provide.

>>38487991
start lifting faggot
dont hook up with jessica shes not worth it
dont fight the 2 guys who wanted to steal your phone you will beat their asses but you will also injure your knuckle and you will have to quit boxing
start talking to mariana earlier she is a nice girl and she likes you, also a good kisser.

Cut your stupid fucking hair. You only grew it out because you were insecure about your face.

Stop drinking milk you stupid fuck you are allergic to it! All those zits you get will go away once you stop drinking it!

Start olympic weightlifting now you enjoy it so much and it's good for you!

Yes your family is crazy! Go live with your friend's family who invited you to stay with them!

Clean your fucking dick after you masturbate! It smells like fucking fish man!

Study just a little bit at minimum and go to college, you can handle anything if you try.

>>38487991
>Mykayla is cheating on you with Trent, dump her ass.

> Bryna, Becky, Brittany, Stephanie, and Crystal are all a waste of your time. Don't fall for thier bullshit.

>Jim is an asshole, but don't let him get to you. His daughter an heros when you're 18.

> DO NOT DATE LANCE HE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU ONE NIGHT

> DO NOT GO TO Devry, they will fuck you for your money and then leave you in the street.

>focus more and try to keep some sanity.

>Your sister will be a bitch when she hits Jr. High but don't worry, she mellows out around sophomore year.

>Caitlyn is a good girl, test her right and don't let Hana get to you. She's just trying to get into Cait's pants.

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>>38487991
Jack him off. It may give him some confidence. Second option kill him his future is a hollow shell of an existence.

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>DO YOUR FUCKING SCHOOL WORK FAGGOT ITS THE EASIEST SHIT IN THE WORLD
>PRACTICE THE FUCK OUTTA THAT GUITAR YOU CUNT
>HEATHER TOTALLY WANTS YOUR DICK WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BEATING AROUND THE BUSH ABOUT WHETHER SHE LIKES YOU OR NOT ITS SUPER GODDAMN OBVIOUS, I KNOW SHE GROWS UP TO BE AN INSUFFERABLE LIBERAL TWAT BUT GET THAT PUSSY WHILE YOU CAN
>TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER MORE THAN ONCE EVERY TWO OR THREE DAYS
>CUT YOUR HAIR FAG

STOP SMOKING WEED AND START DRINKING. Drinking turns you into that social butterfly you wish you could be. Weed just slows you down in every sense. Sure drinking is worse fo you, so just don't get wasted every day. Those weed smoking friends you have are dumb and wont stick around unless you're smoking weed with them. Also ask maggie out when you meet her. Sure you're "dating" Ashley, but you know it kinda sucks and it wont go anywhere. Maggie was the only one you ever had an obvious connection with.

>>38487991
Theres probably way too many things id tell my 9th grade self. One thing id say would be to not care that your uncircumsized and to ditch your "friends" who made fun of you for it and that most girls dont care and even if they do, its your cock in their mouth so it shouldnt faze you Also would tell myself that the foreskin can be pulled down all the way.

DO SHIT, NIGGA
JUST GO AND DO SHIT, GODDAMNIT

As if I'd listen

I don't say shit, I love my life
Ask her out. Soon. High school doesn't last forever and soon it'll be just a memory.

>>38487991
Stay the FUCK away from all women, no exceptions, especially attractive short ones with pink hair.
If you don't know what you're missing it can't hurt you.

>>38487991
just kill yourself kid

>>38488086
>>38489100
>>38490327
>>38493468
What makes you guys think that your past self would kill himself when your present self still hasn't done it?

tell him to run away and do whatever he has to do to get by and become successful

>>38487991
Don't be such a cunt, don't do drugs, study harder.

Don't get fat. For the love of god, control your stress eating habit and don't fucking get fat.

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>Man the fuck up and touch Danielle more often
>get a fucking haircut
>shave your mustache and pluck your unibrow sooner than you did
I probably still would have had a girlfriend if I did these.

>I know this is going to be tough, but don't watch porn. It trains your brain to get off in a certain way with multiple girls just a click away, so when you meet one actual girl, your brain doesn't respond and you can't get hard long enough to fuck them
>Stop being such a sperg around Kat. Keep yourself smelling nice and she'll eventually want to date you and take your virginity
>That being said, she is balls to the wall insane. Help her deal with it and she'll love you greatly
>But do make a rule of 'no dating other people', she won't accept it, compromise with 'threesomes only'
>Also, try your best to help her with the IUD and not getting her pregnant
>Avoid the anatomy teacher and the bitchy young blond english teacher
>Eat mostly salad for school lunches instead of stealing a bunch of ice cream sandwiches. Look into HIIT.
>After high school, look into getting an A+ cert so you can repair computers, it's solid work you like
>Draw on the side for fun.
>Don't smoke pot, not worth it, makes you look like an idiot, alcohol isn't worth it either
>Get bitcoin early as you can, should start in Jan '09

I would tell mysrlf to stop smoking weed, you genuinely wont enjoy it in several years. Also, don't drop out of highschool.

I wouldn't tell him to stay away from anyone or do anything differently, because as shit as some of the things that happened to me were I needed to experience them all to become who I am today, and I'm much happier with who I am today than I was three years ago

However, I would tell him that it doesn't last forever, school felt like it would last forever, braces felt like they'd last forever, no friends felt like it would last forever, virgin incel status felt like it would last forever, and I feel like he'd appreciate the reassurance of being told, no, none of it will last forever

I know that was gay but it's true fuck off

Study math you piece of shit, you can still make it if you work hard enough, but you probably won't cause being a math brainlet isn't that bad right? Fuck off this is loser talk you nerd.
Depending on whenever this shit gets to you, if it's early enough Rita probably still likes you, be more proactive and get laid, wear a condom dumbass, or you can just ignore her cause she's gonna make you hurt for at least a year. Don't get too hung up on tfw no gf you'll have your chance eventually.
If you don't study math at least make an effort in FQ you dipshit that's one less class you'll have to retake in the future.
Start learning about cars as much as you can, cause by the time you find out how cool they are later it's too late to switch paths and you're already too deep into computers.

>>38487991
9th grade was my exact point of no return so i got nothing to tell that fucker its too late

invest in x bet on y it is

>You're soon gonna realise that females are disgusting inferior creatures. Don't freak out and instead focus on studying like always
>Don't stop learning japanese
>Keep doing what you're doing

i am pretty satisfied with my current life, but I'd tell my past self to not even waste seconds thinking about the female nature, they clearly are a meme and there is no point in trying to explain their nature

>>38487991
I'd give 9th grade me a dick sucking lesson and then fuck his faggot ass. As I pull my dick out, I'd tell him to look up bitcoins in 2009, then walk out of the room as my jizz leaked out of his abused hole

>>38487991
"Get yourself checked for Aspergers. You probably have it. The diagnose is likely to help you understand your shortcomings and might even stop you from becoming mentally ill in the future like I did."