Psychological Issues #99

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https://youtu.be/SolEjKrcg4E?t=10m52s

Also that song. "Star Hustle" by Lazerhawk. I chose it from this compilation because of the visuals.

That kind of vaporwave/retrowave/synthpop whatever you call it is connected to the period right before everything collapsed to me, in autum, accordingly. It's nostlagic in itself (if you were born in the 80's or before), but with this added fact, it makes this genre of music something that will always give me intense feels.

My current desktop wallpaper. Windows update removed the one LO had chosen for me.

Hello again Nick. Nice to see you around again.

>>38454309

Coats! I was reading the rest of last thread.

How are you today?

>>38454323
Pretty good here. And yourself?

>>38454344

Been sick for a few days now. Head hurts a tiny bit from yesterday's aura, had an "argument" with LO, but other than that, I'm OK.

I'm looking up material for you to watch.

Do you know how to play chess?

>>38454377
Sorry to hear things have been getting worse on your end.

Could be intriguing.

I do, but only the basics, none of the complex tactics. Castle-kingside is as advanced as I go and even that I don't know how to actually do.

>>38454396
>Castle-kingside is as advanced as I go and even that I don't know how to actually do.

It looks more complicated than it is. I'll explain:

1. the conditions to be allowed to make that special move are these two things: neither king nor rook has moved at all in the game and no square the king moves through or to is threatened by another piece.

2. To make the move, the king moves 2 squares towards the rook, and once that is done, you take the rook and place it "behind" the king. This is the same wherever you castle.

And that's it. If anything is unclear, just ask.

>>38454452
>Castle kingside
Those rules sound simple enough to understand.

>>38454490

And that's the most complicated move in chess, Coats. If you understand that, nothing else is a problem.

The only other special move is the "en passant" pawn move, but it's simpler to understand.

The reason why it exists is to make it have the same effect as if the pawn had only moved 1 square instead of two, from its original position, meaning that if there's an enemy pawn that could have taken it had it moved only one square, with the en passant move, it still can take that pawn. I guess this was chosen so as to avoid an exploit on the double move.

Pawns are awesome. I love pawns. They're the most basic unit, yet have the most complicated rules. They're the most limited, they cannot fight frontally, they can never go back.

And my favourite part: any pawn can become a queen.

Now if that's not fucking poetry right there, I don't know what is.

>>38454537
Definitely fascinating to know, though I don't have a real passion in chess.

>>38454574

I love games. Chess is one of the oldest games. I like its depth.

I can teach you the basics right beyond how pieces move if you want.

>>38454610
I always just found chess stagnant. It is alright as a board game, but once on a computer it sounds illogical since any RTS can do the same as chess but done in a much better format.

Go ahead, I have no qualms to listening.

>>38454661
>RTS can do the same as chess but done in a much better format.

I love both, but it's completely different. RTS can do things chess can't, and vice versa. Being turn-based or not changes everything. I also loved the X-COM game from 2012; I played that fucker 8 hours a day for two weeks. It was pure crack to me. And it's turn-based. I also loved Dawn of War, my favourite RTS.

>>38454688
Never really been a fan of turn-based. I tried forcing myself to like Civilization, never could get into it sadly. I just need things going on, a static world becomes boring.

>>38454661

>chess is stagnant

It teaches you how to think analytically and will make you sharp as fuck.

>>38454747
When I play a game, I play it for self-enjoyment, not for self-improvement. The latter is work in my opinion, the former a release from it. When I have fun, I want it to not matter at all or help me gain some skill, I just want it to be entertaining.

>>38454798

It's not an either/or proposition

>>38454718

I loved Civ 1 and 2. I've never played the other ones.

>>38454747
>It teaches you how to think analytically and will make you sharp as fuck.

On my old computer, I had an image detailing the health benefits of chess. It's real. It's like working out for the brain. I play a lot on my phone, and I've improved like crazy only recently.

>When I play a game, I play it for self-enjoyment, not for self-improvement.

You can have both. Improving is fun too. Levelling up in a game, even when it's boring grind, usually delivers some fun.

>>38454825
How is it not an either/or? Do you assume every mode of entertainment must focus on self-improvement? Perhaps on an unconscious level there is still self-improvement, but there is no pressure to improve, which is exactly what happens with chess due to the goal being to "think analytically" as opposed to it being fun. You can't justify fun, you either find something entertaining or you don't.

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>>38454798
>>38454825

He's right, you know.

I have my rhetorical robots on the ready for every time you abuse logic, Coats. It's the way to a healthy thinking.

>>38454851
Only played Civ 1 due to my OCD not letting me play the later games unless I beat Civ 1, which I could never do due to getting heavily disinterested whenever I tried to bother with it.

>Leveling up in a game
Wrong example to use with me. I loathe RPGs and leveling systems, it puts expectations on how fast I play through the game to the point it becomes stressful. The grind never feels worth it, the slowness means it has horrible replayability. RPGs are one of the most frustrating of genres out there besides turn-based and flight sims.

Of course, the stuff I can't even put into a genre is worse than those could ever be. I warn you never to play Star Wars Droids.

>>38454871
>Do you assume every mode of entertainment must focus on self-improvement?

He doesn't, but it's de facto true. Anything you do, if you keep doing it, you will improve, be it Tetris, tennis, maths, cooking, driving, etc. You could argue it's always self-improvement. The thing with chess is that it does have verified health benefits for your brain, helps keeping your brain healthy and everything. And that, in turn, means you can live a better life. But that only works if you enjoy it, like everything in life.

>which is exactly what happens with chess due to the goal being to "think analytically" as opposed to it being fun

People play chess because it's fun. This may not be obvious to you because you're suffering from depression without realising it, but people live because it's fun. Anyone good at anything generally is because he enjoys doing that thing in the first place.

>You can't justify fun, you either find something entertaining or you don't.

You can find why it's fun. Not everything is fun right away. I know lots of adults who hate chess or don't know how to play. I've taught so many people how to play chess in my life, ever since I was 8. It's weird.

>>38454885
I don't get how I abused logic. I find it ironic you say that, then show a robot image exactly arguing for either/or propositions.

I may have alighted upon something. Tell me this: do other people's internal monologues all sound the same/ have the same/ your voice?

>>38454922
>. I warn you never to play Star Wars Droids.

I can play a game for 3 minutes and give it up forever. No risks.

Chess basics incoming.

>>38454230

>tfw no kermitdad to tell me how to move up dominance hierarchies

>>38454954
>I don't get how I abused logic. I find it ironic you say that, then show a robot image exactly arguing for either/or propositions.

Do you not understand the image? One robot makes logical fallacies and the other one explains what's wrong with his argument.

Your argument was:

1. either a game is fun or it's self-improvement

You make it mutually exclusive when it's not. Which is what anon was saying.

That's a logical fallacy: you exclude, without reason, possibilities, such as a game being both fun and self-improvement. I lift weights, and if I didn't find it fun, I would have given up a long time ago.

>>38454948
>de facto true
As I said, unconscious, but you don't do an activity simply because it causes self improvement. That mindset leads to disappointment when you don't improve fast enough, causes pressure as all you can think about is the improvement, and makes the entire activity miserable. All you are arguing is that I should be miserable with everything I do.

>He enjoys doing that thing in the first place
Which you can't enjoy if all you think about it "Why am I not improving, I must be retarded and have shamed the hobby. Everyone else is better than me, I am a social retard, I don't deserve to do this hobby." This is the mindset with self improvement Nick, it sets you up for misery.

>Find why it's fun
Used to play Chessmaster as a kid. I found the main reason I was having fun was because they allowed me to change the themes of the board, the actual rules were heavily boring and relatively stressful. The guides on how to play made it feel more like tutorials telling me what I must do. I didn't have fun with chess. I can at least understand it, making it better than many of those I haven't tried, but it just wasn't enjoyable.

>>38454969
>do other people's internal monologues all sound the same/ have the same/ your voice?

What makes you think they even have internal monologues?

For my part, it's just my voice. Yes. Though I can imagine what my father would say about any given thing you present to me. I don't hear his voice if I don't want to.

>>38454998

What would you like to know?

We need more frogs in this thread. I always say so.

>>38454969
Everyone sounds different to me. You have a bit of a pippy voice, somewhat high pitched and full of energy. Nick has a deeper voice, rather rough and heavily accented, which makes him pronounce "you" like "ye".

>>38454981
You don't have severe OCD luckily.

>>38455017
That doesn't make sense, the first robot sounds pretty accurate to me.

Well, I guess my problem is that I don't find anything fun. Everything is self-improvement, demands me to improve, makes me miserable, and thus is torture.

>>38454969
my inner monologue voice is always the same. it's similar to my voice but not exactly mine

>>38455038
>What makes you think they even have internal monologues?
The existence of the term 'internal monologue' for one. Well, I think that's a clue then. The 'me' voice I hear is quite often not my voice. I should pay attention to that I suppose.

>>38455086
Interesting, but not quite what I mean. I'm talking about the narrator of your thoughts, or perhaps the one that reads your posts back to you.

>>38455138
I don't have a narrator, unless it is some guy from the BBC speaking of a documentary. Normally I don't think of people. When reading back your posts, that is what I described, you speak with what I imagine are your voices.

>>38455166
Fair enough. You all just sound like me. Solipsism I suppose. Sometimes higher or lower pitched I guess.

>>38455208
My voice is drastically different from your voice. Yours is actually normal, while I sound like Woody Allen.

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>>38455228
>Woody Allen
Oy vey

I like chess but I'm pretty shitty at it
How do I get better ?

Also link for healthough benefits?

Hey there. I got something i wanna talk about, if anyone is up?

>>38455025
>All you are arguing is that I should be miserable with everything I do.

I'm not arguing that at all. Nothing I said suggests this. Quite the opposite.

>"Why am I not improving, I must be retarded and have shamed the hobby.

That's your reaction, Coats, induced by your father's education. Other people don't think this way. I don't think this way. If I am not improving, I wonder why, but I don't start guilt-tripping like you do.

>This is the mindset with self improvement Nick, it sets you up for misery.

This is the mindset of your father's education. It sets you up for dependence on him. Your father is what Richard Grannon calls, very scientifically, a zombie witch doctor. When you can watch a video with sounds, I will show it to you.

You and I should play chess. The only thing that would prevent us from playing is if you hate losing. If I know it makes you feel bad to lose, I will not want to make you lose, so I'd not have fun playing the game.

As a kid, I played a chess game with animate pieces. It was very violent and the queen's legs turned me the fuck on whenever they showed up.

>>38455335
>Arguing at all
I think I am just getting overly defensive. I seem to do that a lot.

>I don't start guilt-tripping
Indeed, this makes it rather hard just to enjoy a hobby. The pressure that you will be ousted if you don't do the right tactics in an MMO, the pressure of getting these benefits from the game you play, it gets stressful. Games are a distraction from reality, not a way to make reality better.

>Sets you up for dependence on him
Perhaps that makes sense. The less self-confidence, the less I feel I could simply do those things on my own.

>You and I should play chess
While I get stressed if I am required to improve, I enjoy challenge and enjoy doing things that handicap me if the game becomes too easy. Losing is part of the game too, for without losing the victories would not feel so great.

>Queen's legs turned me the fuck on
One day I will replay Thief 2 and hunt down the fan mission I played back then, my first sexual encounter. There was a woman showering in that level, who would attack you if she saw you. I dedicated quite a bit of time to making her chase me around the level just so she would get exposed to all her guests.

I had dead nets for a bit. Apologies. Will catch up right now.

My connection is frail.

>>38455509
We are all frail here Nick.

Going to lunch, will be back.

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>>38455086
>Nick has a deeper voice, rather rough and heavily accented,

You know I've recorded my actual voice in these threads? You're right about deep voice, but wrong on the accent.

>That doesn't make sense, the first robot sounds pretty accurate to me.

That's where rhetoric and therapy combine: the robot is wrong. In the robot's proposition, he acts as if humans and robots couldn't coexist, when they can. That's why he's fallacious. He's acting as if reality was a certain way when it's not.

This is the sort of mind tricks your father has used on you all your life, so you must train to see the bullshit now.

I'll give you more robots to practice on.

>>38455086
>Well, I guess my problem is that I don't find anything fun.

Indeed, because you were made to think everything had to suck, just as you were made to believe you sucked.

You've literally accepted being a sacrificial lamb for your father, who doesn't love you and uses you like a pawn.

I have a very hard time accepting this, Coats. It makes me furious at various times of the day. I think about it and it makes me want to punch things. That an asshole like your father should use and abuse you like this, after 22 years of shit, and that you should take it like it's an honor, that is too much for me to tolerate.

You need to connect your condition with how he raised you. Face the truth, Coats. Your father is an abuser. It is he who does not deserve the title "father".

>>38455319

https://www.google.ch/search?q=chess+benefits&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjUtrL1m5PVAhVF6xQKHT6EDQwQ_AUICigB&biw=1460&bih=659#imgrc=_

I'll teach basics in a bit. Nets allowing.

>>38455333

I'm always up for that, it's why I'm here.

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>>38455465
>I think I am just getting overly defensive. I seem to do that a lot.

You are, because you grew up being attacked all the time.

> Games are a distraction from reality, not a way to make reality better.

Games are real. They're more a hyperreality than a distraction. If life is about having fun, then games are an excellent meaning of life. Short of religions, and even with them, enjoying life remains one of the few things that should be obvious. Games make people happy, 'tis a noble endeavour to make people happy.

Games taught me discipline, efforts, perseverence, and justice. More than my parents ever did.

> The less self-confidence, the less I feel I could simply do those things on my own.

Exactly. You're now a legal adult and are living in infantilising conditions when a good father would have taught you to be independent, live on your own, improve to the point where women want your D and your heart and brain.

>>38455465
>While I get stressed if I am required to improve, I enjoy challenge and enjoy doing things that handicap me if the game becomes too easy.

That's why I level up and play better AI. I'm on level 5 of my phone app. I won 3 times out of 70 games on that level. I used to lose all the time on level 1.

>One day I will replay Thief 2 and hunt down the fan mission I played back then, my first sexual encounter. There was a woman showering in that level, who would attack you if she saw you. I dedicated quite a bit of time to making her chase me around the level just so she would get exposed to all her guests.

Kek.

Eyo. Thread is slow today, it would seem.

>>38455889

I have connection issues; Coats has lunch. Facet is scheming murders. The usual.

I'm in talks with LO for her to make us some OC.

So I've spent one fucking month in a psychiatric hospital and they released me telling me I have personnality troubles. I take the abilify and I don't drink.
Met a qt bitch-tier grill.
What do now?

>>38455938

Take a name. List your symptoms, detail what they said.

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My GF of ~2 weesk is usually busy so she can't text me back for usually a few hours...I know she is busy but I always feel like she doesn't care or something and rationally, it makes no sense why I would feel that way. I think I love her bros (I have known her for ~2 years) We set up dates and everything but I can't shake this weird insecurity about it.

>>38455962
My mom called me Anon. I had obsession over jewish occultism and for some time i believed i was the messiah. They said i'm on watch in case it happens again and that its too soon for a definitive diagnosis

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>>38455988
>My GF of ~2 weesk is usually busy so she can't text me back for usually a few hours...

What is she busy doing?

>>38455988
>it makes no sense why I would feel that way.

Object permanence; it doesn't need to make sense. Pic related.

>>38455988

Also Windwaker is the stuffing. The only flaw with it was that it was too easy and no enemies were ever a challenge. Everything else was sweet as fuck.

I want to sail the world with Link again.

The Zelda games were important in my family, for my brother and I. The NES was our real parent, as sad as it sounds.

>>38455998

All right. You're Anton now, it's almost the same but it incorporates the cross the Messiah was crucified on, I'm sure you'll like it.

>>38456018
A link to the past, link's awakening, majora's mask, twilight princess.
The wind waker is oracle of-tier

>>38456018
>>38456001
good taste anon. Well she does dance and a lot of musical stuff (extra curriculars). And has since I met her when we were ~16.

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>>38456036
Idk if i do

>>38456043
>A link to the past

Actually, that one is probably my favourite. I played that in our old villa, in the countryside. I remember because I didn't know what to do in the beginning of the game. I didn't speak any English at the time. I just walked under the rain outside and that was it. I gave up on the game for some time. Then tried again later.

I liked Wind Waker because of the island stuff, and the ocean. I haven't played any of them since Twilight, and I played that for like 2 hours.

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Chess strategy!

1. the center is important to take and maintain because your pieces will affect more squares from the center.

>>38456092
The mirror shield is the most powerful. Freud scared himself with a mirror once. Coincidence? Carl Gustav Jung ftw again

>>38456044

OK, with that kind of activity, she literally can't respond to your texts, so worry not. I mean it.

Projective identification, or identifying projection, I never know, is when your behaviour turns someone else into something in your mind.

Example: jealous husband and faithful wife. He is so jelly, he gives her rules, gets upset. She tries to put up with it, but with time, it wears her down, she ends up actually wishing she had another man.

Same if you keep telling someone they're upset when they're not: eventually they WILL get upset, and that's when you go, "See! You ARE upset!" But in truth, you made them that way.

>>38456140

I'm Jung reincarnated. I wanted to experience a fucked up family first hand to come back stronger.

Actor who portrayed Freddy Krueger scared himself with a mirror too.

Chess strategy:

2. one important aspect of chess is knowing the values of all the pieces, so you know when sacrificing something is worth it:

in growing order of importance:

pawn
bishop/knight
rook
queen

If a pawn can take any of the others with sacrifice, then do it; if any of the pieces above can take one of the pieces below them in this list, it'll be a good idea to do so in most cases.

>>38455582
>Recorded my actual voice in these threads?
I need to dig through the archives more.

>So you must train to see the bullshit
Fascinating. It seemed logical to me that humans and robots couldn't coexist, one would always try to dominate the other.

>Robots to practice on
Once again, the orange robot seems to be saying a truth while the blue robot is focused on random grammatical corrections.

>>38455632
>That is too much to tolerate
I am sorry Nick, it isn't an honor and I understand it may be less than ideal, but I cannot harm my father and the way he speaks/tries to act friendly makes me wish to at least be civil with him. What is the point of freedom if I do nothing with it? I am having to play catch-up, why not learn where there is a safety net?

>Face the truth Coats, your father is an abuser
I still cannot see this. He may perhaps have some ego issues, but he means well Nick. Why bring me to a concert that has zero to do with him otherwise?

>>38455747
>You grew up being attacked
Logical, I did have to defend myself against other students a lot.

>More than my parents ever did
Well, it is a problem then that I have been avoiding games for nearly two weeks due to the only thing I can be being Star Wars Droids. I spent an hour on it and that was enough to make me not want to touch it again.

>Living in infantilising conditions
This I do realize. I thought my father was just slow, but got things done as an end result.

>>38455768
>Play better AI
Indeed, or in a game like Thief I start doing things like playing the missions without saves while ghosting. I really want to get back to playing that.

>>38455889
I am back

>>38455903
Indeed, today was pizza day. Everyone talked about me having pizza. It was stressful. My father sniffed the pizza, making me feel bad I got pizza. Another person in the company made yummy sounds. I don't like everyone desiring the food I want to eat, it makes it feel like a competition to simply eat some food.

>>38456256
Honestly the bishop/knight equivalency was never clear to me. In my opinion the knight is more useful. Especially in the beginning when there is lots of pawns. I guess this depends on the play style.

>>38456293
>I need to dig through the archives more.

It was on vocaroo, must be gone now, but I have some files saved. Maybe me talking about ants and shit.

>It seemed logical to me that humans and robots couldn't coexist, one would always try to dominate the other.

A quick look around you shows you how it works. Robots work for us. See, reality is your friend.

>on random grammatical corrections.

That's not a grammatical correction. There are no grammatical errors there. Coats! Fucking hell, you think "either/or" is about grammar? Holy shit...

The "either/or" problem is a problem of a false dichotomy. It means portraying a problem in black and white, when many greys exist in between.

It's not about grammar!

It's like saying this:

"Either you finish High School or you can never get a good job."

Saying this is ignoring on purpose that there are many other ways to get to a good job, that you can finish high school later on, that there are programs for adults who want more education, etc.

That's an example of this fallacy.

>>38456293
>Once again, the orange robot seems to be saying a truth while the blue robot is focused on random grammatical corrections.

The circular argument here:

"Robots are better leaders because they have better leadership skills."

It's saying the same thing twice: better leadership skills is the same as "better leaders", because a leader is simply someone with leadership skills. It doesn't explain why robots supposedly are better leaders at all, see?

>>38456018
I swear I am the only person who hates the NES. Star Wars for the Famcom didn't help. One reason I always avoided Zelda, too many Nintendo games.

>>38456122
Sounds logical

>>38456256
Also seems to make a lot of sense

>>38456293
>but I cannot harm my father and the way he speaks/tries to act friendly makes me wish to at least be civil with him.

But he can harm you? Why is that?

>but he means well Nick

He does not. That's an illusion. What you projected on the chubby improv dude is what you really believe about your father. And you're right, but it's about your father, not the chub improv dude.

>Why bring me to a concert that has zero to do with him otherwise?

So he can remin you that he did it "for you", so he can tell you he even listens to the tape to remember that moment even though he doesn't like the music (obvious red flag here; this is solely intended to make you feel like you owe him and that he loves you, but he doesn't: nobody forces themselves to listen to a tape of a concert they didn't like; this is a trick to make you feel bad over wanting not to be a fucking slave, and you fall for it).

>>38456293

Your father works with you???

Why does he sniff your food? It's like he's a fucking animal who must check your food before you're allowed to eat it. Fuck that. Nobody should come this close to food you're about to it.

Will he sniff your first girlfriend's pussy right before you fuck it, too?

Please, Coats, wake the fuck up, wake, wake, wake the fuck up.

>>38456413
>I swear I am the only person who hates the NES.
I'm actually not crazy about it either. When I was young it was pretty much impossible to get it, because it was extremely expensive and so were the games.

So I had this chinese copy of the NES, but there were mostly only bad game copies available for it. Like Home Alone for example. So I only played the shitty NES games, back then I liked them though.

>>38456350
>I have some files saved
Could be interesting to eventually hear. You feel more human when you can hear a voice. I don't generally hear the voices of those I talk to online, it is one way that I have been rather lonely.

>Robots work for us
Simply because they don't have intelligence yet.

>Either you finish High School or you can never get a good job
Honestly I thought that was 100% accurate. The more you say these, the more I am apparently seeing the world in black and white.

>>38456375
So simply fixing someone's grammar because they didn't clarify why they make better leaders.

>>38456338
>Honestly the bishop/knight equivalency was never clear to me.

It's not to me either, but they're roughly on par. Officially called "minor pieces".

The thing with bishops is they're limited to one colour. They can never be on other squares. This is because they're religious and cannot switch faiths. The left bishop is a Protestant, while the right one is Catholic. Made up BS but it's fun.

The knight has a special ability which is extremely useful when fucking around with the king: you cannot block his way, so you will lose your rooks and queens to that bastard.

Bishops, however, being diagonal people, trick the eye more easily than other pieces. From far away on the board, inattentive players will lose pieces just due to optics. That's my case.

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Goddamn,did i miss something?
Nick is spitting truth like there's no tomorrow.

>>38456413
>Star Wars for the Famcom didn't help.

The Star Wars game for NES and SNES were shit. It's spastic, has hordes of nonsensical enemies. These games were designed for hyperactive fucktards who didn't like games.

>>38456444
>I'm actually not crazy about it either. When I was young it was pretty much impossible to get it, because it was extremely expensive and so were the games.

Dan, you're Slav. You were supposed to buy a Pegasus system, like all other Slavs. LO had that as a kid. It looks like an old Sega but had NES games on it. The Pegasus was popular in Slavland.

People squatted gleefully in the street when they could afford one.

>>38456487
Yeah exactly. Putting the other player into a situation where he has to move the king and he loses a queen/rook is the best. Also knights are great for the "sneak defense" where you have some other figure "protected" by the knight, but it's very easy to overlook so you can end up making a pretty good exchange. Different play styles I guess.

It's funny that your explanation doesn't make much sense to me, since bishops are called "shooters" in the czech language and knights are called "horses". Oh and also rooks are "towers" which makes much more sense to me. Well I don't know what makes sense actually. Towers being able to move, bishops being at the battlefield or horses just running around on their own.

>>38456464
>You feel more human when you can hear a voice. I don't generally hear the voices of those I talk to online, it is one way that I have been rather lonely.

I recorded myself talking about an ant conference I went to see with a friend. I have those files if you want to hear me speeeaaaaaaak.

>Simply because they don't have intelligence yet.

They never will. They're machines. But even so, no argument is presented to convince us that man and machine can't coexist, that's the main point. One narc trick is to act like something goes without saying. It's a trick I faced often, and if you don't have any confidence, you'll yield to it.

"So, Anon, I'll take you to the shop as we planned yesterday, OK?"

The trick is that no such plan ever happened, so you can either call your abuser a liar, which he is, or agree and take the rhetoric cock.

"But... We never planned that."

"Are you calling me a fucking liar, Anon? I won't stand such disrespect; you are now grounded and you will come to the shop anyway!"

See how this bullshit works? It's easy to manipulate people when you change reality, change the rules, and they are too weak to react. I am sure this crap is done to you often.

You need to wake up.

>>38456414
>Why is that
He brought me in the world and has provided for me all these years. I do logically owe him.

>My father is the chubby improv dude
Which means he is successful and can thus teach me to get successful, like I said the chubby improv dude did for his own popularity. It still benefits me.

>This is a trick
I see, that does make sense. But couldn't you say that about anyone's affections? Anyone's parents? It seems too easy to say anyone who loves has red flags.

>>38456434
>Father works with you???
Indeed he does, he is in a different branch as the head. He does service calls, I do IT, so we are separate but work for the same company.

>Why does he sniff your food?
He will just sniff it in the car, saying how good it is and how he could eat pizza however, how he should hit me to take my pizza. He loves doing that.

>First girlfriend's pussy
How many times have I said I am going to die alone? I am a psychopathic narcissistic retard, to get a girlfriend would require actually being able to handle society. Robots can't get girlfriends and they are a lot more socially capable than I am.

>>38456444
Indeed, I can understand nostalgia for it. I just feel crazy that everyone treats it like the golden age and yet I find it frustrating. I much preferred the late 90s.

>>38456464
>Honestly I thought that was 100% accurate. The more you say these, the more I am apparently seeing the world in black and white.

You do, but it's also because you were not trained to see through the bullshit, you were trained to swallow it wholesale. Your father has been feeding you such nonsense you don't even know it's nonsense.

Give me some sayings you father likes to say, or comments and reflections, his opinion on women, black people, etc. Dump it all.

>So simply fixing someone's grammar because they didn't clarify why they make better leaders.

That's not grammar. Grammar is perfect in both cases here, there are no mistakes. Either you don't know what grammar is, or you don't understand the points I'm explaining to you.

Rhetoric is not about grammar, it's about arguing.

>>38454230
I don't know if you remember me but you helped me come to a realisation and it made me try and change my current situation and I wanted to thank you

>>38456464
>Simply because they don't have intelligence yet.
I kinda have to intervene here, it's not likely they will have it at least in our lifetime. The golden age of the 70s where everyone thought computers can solve anything is gone. The more we know, the more problems that we can not solve we uncover.

Just look at the list of unsolved problems of computer science.

If you ask me, I think the future is in biology inspired computing.

File: Nick's Final Form.jpg (56KB, 406x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>>38456490

I like that truth-spitting image.

Here, have my animu form.

>>38456504
Oh, I never got to play the NES/SNES, I planned to do that after I got past Star Wars Droids and some more of the Star Wars Roleplaying Game modules. I am talking about the unofficial japanese title from 1987. The one where Darth Vader is a scorpion.

>>38456574
>I have those files, gladly, though I will only be able to check them out in 5 hours or so. I need to stop for the Kraft Mac & Cheese, would be nice to finally start being able to eat it at work. There is a microwave there.

>I am sure this crap is done to you often
That sounds quite familiar indeed. My mother never could give me a consistent list of chores, my father said I got enough money from Christmas presents and so didn't need an allowance. When I go home from work, I have no idea if he will stop somewhere to talk to someone. He is doing the favor by giving you the ride, so you conform to his schedule. That is exactly what he would say.

>>38456561
>Putting the other player into a situation where he has to move the king and he loses a queen/rook is the best

My level 5 computer rapes me so fucking hard in most games. I feel played like a fuking idiot. He takes everything from me and predicts my moves. It's infuriating. I won 3 times though. In about 50 games or more.

>>38456561
>since bishops are called "shooters" in the czech language and knights are called "horses".

Bishops are jesters in French. They're the crazy fucker with jingle bells on his hat. Literally called the "mad man". Knights are called "horseriders", they're not called knights. Rooks are called towers.

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>>38456587
>He brought me in the world and has provided for me all these years. I do logically owe him.

Your mother brought you into the world, your father shot a load of cum inside a woman. Do you really think shooting a load of cum inside a woman is a sacrifice? Wouldn't you do it for free?

He has provided you, yes, but he has ends of his own and is using you, as you explained. You even know what the plan is.

You have been brainwashed, Coats. The day you realise you don't have to obey him is the day your OCD dies. Because that is the one rule you must break, to be free. Since you aren't able to break this one, you seek to break countless other rules to compensate. You also try to project your father's evil ways on everyone and everything else, so you can fight your father where he isn't.

You project him on the cub improv guy, and then you proceeded to see the evil of his ways, but only saw your father's. If you don't fight dragons where dragons live, you'll only defeat mills.

BADSASS SONG INCOMING

https://youtu.be/qFskdl_gTE4

This is absolutely asskicking. It's about a female serial killer, though. But it's all around cool. Jim White is fucking amazing. I heard of him because of a long distance Swedish girlfriend I had over ten years ago. She had made me a whole CD filled with songs she liked.

>>38456613
>Sayings
Let's see.
>A man and a woman cannot be friends, it is unnatural.
>A man is supposed to be the provider. But the woman needs to work as well if she wants to get somewhere in life. It isn't fair if I have to do it alone.
>What is wrong with checking out women's asses? I am a man, they expect I look.
>Women are just feminists to use that as an excuse to hate Trump
>Niggers are lazy people who don't want to work and want to collect welfare. They live off reverse racism these days and the white man is such a pussy he will let them cuck him to the point they will end up destroying the entire race.
>Any woman who has had a black cock in her is less than a human. It is bad enough to cheat on me, but make it a white man at least.
>There is nothing wrong with the word Nigger. It just means they come from Niger.
>There were more black people owning black slaves than white people, so niggers need to stop complaining that the white man owes them. Miss Black America, BET, when does the reverse racism end?
>If a Nigger wants to work, I can respect that. I am complaining about the race in general, the ones that don't want to work.

From today, his big thing is this.
https://me.popsugar.com/love/Cartoon-Combats-Islamophobia-42316776
He spent his morning changing the cartoon so she talked about 9/11 and blew up at the end due to being upset that they were racist to white males. "How many Americans do anything to Muslims? 5? Okay, let's be nice, 100, out of 30 million". As he says sarcastically "The muslims attack everyone else, but they are the ones we should be protecting".

>Don't understand the points
Probably the latter, they do not make sense. I thought rhetoric was about word play, which meant it was in turn about word meaning, which means it is about grammar.

>>38456587
>Which means he is successful and can thus teach me to get successful, like I said the chubby improv dude did for his own popularity. It still benefits me.

Bullshit. The chub dude didn't become popular because of that video. Chub dude could help you improvise and have fun, that's all. Your father, however, uses you like a pawn.

> But couldn't you say that about anyone's affections?

No. You've never experienced real love and real care; your father seems incapable of it. It's not real love, Coats. Love is not "interested" like that.

The red flag isn't the "love", it's that he makes a point of telling you all this shit. A loving father would have gone to the concert, enjoyed the concert with you, and not turned it into a fucking psychological weapon to hold you at gunpoint until you suck however many dicks he needs you to suck so he can get his money.

Coats, your father will abandon you like a used sock the instant he gets what he wants. Don't you realise that? He's already abandoned you.

>>38456587
>He will just sniff it in the car, saying how good it is and how he could eat pizza however, how he should hit me to take my pizza. He loves doing that.

Just what the fuck did I just fucking read... Do you think normal people say stuff like that? It's fucking insane.

Do you think that's how a loving father speaks?

Evening
Nick, chess? Sorry if I'm interrupting a serious discussion, haven't read anything

>>38456648
Indeed, the good news is that sentient computers will not be a problem we will need to face. Then again, computers seemed to come out of nowhere.

>>38456879
>Wouldn't you do it for free
Not really, women have too many rights and can easily manipulate men with children.

>You even know what the plan is
Which means I owe it to him to see it fulfilled and not disappoint him.

>You seek to break countless other rules to compensate
So what you are saying is that I create all these rules that I find contradictory ways to break to simply give myself the belief I have freedom?

>You can fight your father where he isn't
I don't want to engage my father in a duel to the death like my mother said I would.

>If you don't fight dragons where dragons live
Dragons are cool, they have strength and determination. Mills on the other hand are retarded structures that spin grain. So, yes, destroy mills, not the dragon.

>>38456587
>I am a psychopathic narcissistic retard,

You're not a narcissist. Your self-shame is on the surface, and it's not unconscious. You're not a retard, either. You have been brainwashed, however. Years of programming that need to be undone. Your life depends on it.

As to girls, if you remain your father's cucked plaything, you're right, but that's easier to change than you know.

>>38456631

I remember your name but I no longer connect it to the issue we discussed. Was it the toothbrush stuff?

You're very welcome! With permission, I'll save your statement.

>>38456648
>If you ask me, I think the future is in biology inspired computing.

I'd say the same, but I doubt we'll come anywhere near solving the mystery of consciousness.

>>38457063
>Then again, computers seemed to come out of nowhere.
Not really. There was actually a big development. Though sometimes it progressed very fast, like with semiconductors.

>>38457009
>Chub dude could help you improvise and have fun
Not when he is demanding I relax. I don't want to relax and he is demanding I do such. At least with my father I have my mind.

>Turned it into a fucking psychological weapon
How has he done such?

>Will abandon you
If he does, isn't that what you want anyway? Wouldn't that mean I got my freedom anyway?

>>38457030
Yes, Nick, he was making light conversation about how he liked the pizza and telling me how much he liked it, though I get defensive. The hitting comment was a joke he made, he made sure to say it like it was a joke.

>>38456712
>The one where Darth Vader is a scorpion.

I saw that. Few people know that Anakin's final form is that of a scorpion.

>That is exactly what he would say.

And it's exactly bullshit. He is a manipulative little bitch. He makes up rules on the go, and it's always to his advantage, ever noticed? Real rules don't work like that.

I could post my files here. I recorded them so LO would hear my voice. It's about a conference from some entomologist (sp?), about ants in Switzerland.

>>38457067
>Your life depends on it
Well, then I guess I have already lost, for I simply cannot leave him Nick.

>>38457108
There was? Before the 20th century we didn't have any of this. My father loves to say it is proof that there are aliens, they gave us the technology to improve. Man is actually rather stupid, it is the aliens that improve us when they decide to make us more entertaining. He believes we landed here on Noah's Ark, a spaceship flying through outer space, that had a bunch of different species of aliens. He believes each species comes from a different planet. The aliens since have been using us an an experiment to see what happens when we all intermingle.

>>38456972
>A man and a woman cannot be friends, it is unnatural

Most of my friends are women. One of my best friends is a woman. Your father uses this as an excuse. Basically, in my guessing, your father's main interest in women is sexual, so if the woman is ugly to him, he will not befriend her, because I don't think your father can actually get to know people personally, mainly because he doesn't care about others and their personalities.

How do you deal with unrequited love and not appear like a love hungry little boy?

>>38456972
>What is wrong with checking out women's asses? I am a man, they expect I look.

This isn't something you tell your son. He rationalises and makes it their fault.

I look at women's asses, and I know they are aware of when they look hot as fuck. The "deal" is that they pretend not to know they're hot while you pretend not to know they know; and when you look, the game is that you must do it while pretending that you're not doing it. In exchange, if you're caught and look away right away, women will enjoy being attractive while also enjoying being respected, as you at least tried to pretend you weren't looking.

If your father understood anything about humans, he would have explained this to you instead.

>>38457132
>Anakin's final form is that of a scorpion
It was a great reveal in A New Hope, right before the part where Luke stole the Millennium Falcon to take revenge on the Empire for hiring Jawas to steal R2-D2. Most accurate movie plot ever, told entirely in Japanese!

God that game was bad. I spammed my way through it with save states due to being so frustrated with it, which made me feel cheap but at least I got to see the game. Even with save states the game felt quite cheap, the controls were quite clunky.

>Real rules don't work like that
I have no idea what real rules are like then. I thought it was simply done for fairness. It isn't fair if I expect a ride and he has to drop everything for me. I am over 18, he doesn't have to do anything for me, doing such shows he loves me.

>>38456972

Holy fuck, Coats, is your father /pol/?

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>>38456972
>There is nothing wrong with the word Nigger. It just means they come from Niger.

Is he fucking retarded? Nigger comes from the word "negro", which is Latin for "black". Niger is a country in Africa and its name came about much later than the word negro.

The word negro had no negative connotations in Latin, but the word "nigger" definitely has a lot; to ignore this fact is a fallacy. Your father rationalises in mentally ill ways. I hope you see it.

>>38457167
Well unless Turing, Von Neumann, Knuth, Dijkstra and other computer scientists were aliens, your father is pretty fucking crazy.

There was so much research and work done to improve the hardware (memory media, processing units and peripherals). Not to mention all the other standards. For example the standard for handling floating point numbers in computers was proposed in the 70s, the C programming language came at the end of 60s. It's not like we magically got computers by 1999.

>>38456972
>There were more black people owning black slaves than white people, so niggers need to stop complaining that the white man owes them. Miss Black America, BET, when does the reverse racism end?

Not sure that's historically correct, but it is true that black slaves were captured and sold by other blacks in Africa. Arabs owned slaves a lot as well. Slavery was all over the place, and Europeans weren't the first nor the only ones to use it when they conquered America.

Your father sounds a lot like my father sometimes, except mine wasn't a /pol/tard.

>>38456972
>He spent his morning changing the cartoon so she

She? Who is "she"?

>>38456972
>He spent his morning changing the cartoon so she

Oh, OK, I got it. Is that how he justifies his salary?

He could be fired for that. He should be. If you were paid by him and spent your morning fucking around making memes, he'd fire you.

>>38457209
I actually agree entirely with this point, one of the main things I have heavily disagreed with. I find females to usually make for better friends than males. They let you be more emotional and can be more accepting, there is no "acting tough" that I see with some of the male friends I have had.

My father says quite frequently others don't matter, not even the girl he is with. The only one that matters, according to him, is me due to the blood relationship. Anyone else, if they aren't doing something for him (the value of a friend, if you won't help him set up his antennas you are not a good friend) isn't worth his time.

>>38457242
>Explained this to you
This doesn't make sense to me at all. I knew my father was wrong, but I thought the truth was that females got offended when males looked at them because it was viewing them as a piece of meat. So the answer is to not look at those parts, to look at their face and nowhere else. Unless of course you are me and likely to stare at someone, or even give them an evil eye. Then you shouldn't look at someone's face, meaning you should not look at a woman.

>>38456972
>Probably the latter, they do not make sense. I thought rhetoric was about word play, which meant it was in turn about word meaning, which means it is about grammar.

No, rhetoric is the art of arguing. It's like fighting with words. It has nothing to do with puns. Word meaning has to do with semantics, semantics is not grammar.

Grammar includes spelling, vocabulary, syntax (word order in a sentence), phonetics, etc.

A grammatically correct sentence doesn't have to make sense, and that's why semantics doesn't belong in grammar. Chomsky's example stands:

"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously."

This sentence has perfect grammar. The syntax is perfect, the conjugation is perfect, everything works. It's grammatically perfect. But it makes no sense. Hence semantics isn't grammar.

>>38457033

Let me see if I can. It's pretty busy right now.

>>38457063
>Not really, women have too many rights and can easily manipulate men with children.

That's not what I meant: would you not have sex with a woman for free? That's what I meant.

>Which means I owe it to him to see it fulfilled and not disappoint him.

He will disappoint you. You don't owe him shit. He owes you your life, Coats. He owes you all the things you will never have. He owes you all the OCD you're suffering from. He owes you more than he can ever repay. There will be no justice for you, Coats, but you don't have to keep being used.

>So what you are saying is that I create all these rules that I find contradictory ways to break to simply give myself the belief I have freedom?

Now you're saying it, but it makes even more sense that way. Since you can't fight the real dragon, you make paper ones and fuck THEIR shit up. You can't break your father's rules, but you'll break every other rule you can to feel better. And sometimes you can't even break the rules you make up.

>>38457063
>I don't want to engage my father in a duel to the death like my mother said I would.

Problem: you're already in a duel. Worse problem: you're losing. Worst problem of them all: you don't realise that you're in a fight and that you're losing it.

>>38457063
>Dragons are cool, they have strength and determination. Mills on the other hand are retarded structures that spin grain. So, yes, destroy mills, not the dragon.

Are you playing dumb?

In medieval literature, dragons decimate the land and make entire populations starve, and they burn people to death or eat them. Mills grind grain into flour, allowing bread to be a thing, and most people mostly ate bread. Mills allowed people to survive.

But you're on the wrong level of reading. A dragon here simply means the main enemy. You go for the wrong enemy, so you never win. Mills are simpler to defeat than dragons, yes, but you haven't won.

>>38457111
>Not when he is demanding I relax. I don't want to relax and he is demanding I do such.

Coats, nobody feels stressed when a speaker asks us to do something. It's part of the show. If you had refused, he would have been embarrassed, not upset. That speaker respects people. You're transposing your father/son issues on him.

Coats, nobody can tell you what to do if you don't accept, not even the police.

Please break out of your brainwashing. This is going to drive me insane.

>How has he done such?

He used it to make you feel like you owe him. Same thing with the ride, same thing with whatever he "gives" you. He wants to use you to get money from your grandmother (is she his mother?), so everything he does towards you is manipulation, that's why he has no problem dumping you in a hellhole and not think twice.

>>38456972
High noon with clear skyes, the sun is blazing and the temperature is rising fast. Coats is putting on another coat.

this post clears up a lot of mysteries in my mind. every one of those statements is pretty outrageous.
i'd like to hear more stories about your father, for teh lulz

>>38457111
>If he does, isn't that what you want anyway? Wouldn't that mean I got my freedom anyway?

As long as you act like his little bitch, he will use you. As things stand, you're already as abandoned as possible. While he fucks his new girlfriend, you're stuck in a house where you can't have a girlfriend, where you can't use the kitchen, where you piss in bags, etc.

>>38457167
>I simply cannot leave him Nick.

He's already left you.

>>38457167
>There was? Before the 20th century we didn't have any of this. My father loves to say it is proof that there are aliens, they gave us the technology to improve. Man is actually rather stupid, it is the aliens that improve us when they decide to make us more entertaining. He believes we landed here on Noah's Ark, a spaceship flying through outer space, that had a bunch of different species of aliens. He believes each species comes from a different planet. The aliens since have been using us an an experiment to see what happens when we all intermingle.

Your father is one gullible idiot. I can find you an hour-long documentary debunking this bullshit.

>>38457214
>How do you deal with unrequited love and not appear like a love hungry little boy?

By grabbing your balls, reminding yourself you're a man, and not acting like a hungry little boy. Give yourself the love you need until a woman does.

>>38457253
>I am over 18, he doesn't have to do anything for me, doing such shows he loves me.

He expects God knows how much money from you. That's not love.

>>38457254
Pretty much. He doesn't go to /pol/, he lives on Facebook and is a normie, but he shares many of their beliefs. He spends his time with a lot of statistics I can't remember to back up his facts. He spends his time posting on Facebook about political complaints, including the image he modified today I mentioned. He gets upset though because nobody responds to his political posts, they all just care about cat videos.

>>38457279
>Fallacy
Indeed, he says that the word "nigger" is simply because blacks like to complain about words being used. He has told me several times in the past that while I generally don't swear (in fact, typing on 4chan or during RP is the only time I do), I should have no problems with saying racial slurs. I never could bring myself to saying those.

>>38457294
The odd thing is that my father works with radios for a living and thus is pretty well versed in technology.

>>38457373
>The only one that matters, according to him, is me due to the blood relationship.

If that reason was true, he'd care for his parents and siblings too. It's bullshit. The only reason is money. This man obviously doesn't care for you. Look at yourself. Are you cared for? No.

Has he ever taught you to cook or drive?

>>38457309
Yeah, mine is pretty much like /pol/, though I don't get too involved with politics so I don't know how close the similarities get. He spends most of my car trips either posting on Facebook or calling up republican radio stations to talk about various issues. He usually is careful to talk about the race war due to it being a sensitive issue. He constantly talks about in my lifetime society breaking down due to too many wanting to get on the wagon (an analogy he uses a lot) and thus not many to pull it. This shall result in either the working whites getting finally fed up with giving to the black NEETs, or the NEETs using it as an excuse to rob and steal like they always do and thus starting a war. Those pussy white democrats will of course stick up for the blacks. As he said, the whites republicans are the ones with the firearms.

My father loves whites and the white race. He feels Jews righteously worked for what they got, as a people he praises them. He likes Asians for similar reasons. He hates Mexicans, but likes Spanish in general, he will check out Brazilians. Blacks he doesn't like in general, but he doesn't have many problems with Puerto Ricans, which isn't black in his eyes.

>>38457373
>This doesn't make sense to me at all.

This is way too subtle for you right now. Women do get offended if treated like meat, but that doesn't cancel the fact that women like to be attractive, pretty, sexy, etc. It's just only enjoyable if done with respect.

A woman will love making a shy guy blush because of how good she looks, but she won't like being stared at by some pervert who doesn't give a shit what she thinks. It's logical.

Women know a good guy will look away when caught, so sometimes she won't look at him so as not to chase his gaze away, and let him look. It's a kind of game where everyone wins if everyone plays respectfully.

Men can play it too. I know certain positions which show my chiselled forearms better than others, and I know women notice, because I got comments on my body from some of them.

>>38457317
>>38457348
>Is that how he justifies his salary?
He is actually right under the boss as I said for his position, he is one of the most praised in the company. He gets what he needs done, his main job is telling people under him to do service calls. He wanted to be on the road so he could get coffees, but the boss wants him around the office.

>>38457390
Logical enough, thanks for the clarification. Semantics is what I was referring to, not grammar.

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Do people actual have control over their thoughts and actions?

I see the idea in my image being propagated, but I don't believe it. You act then justify how you acted to yourself later. I think some people are fortunate enough to have thoughts and feelings that correlate with their behavior, but in my experience it's entirely random.

>>38457617
>is a normie,

Your father is not a normie. He is everything except a normal person. If normal people were like your father, people would die all the fucking time.

>I should have no problems with saying racial slurs. I never could bring myself to saying those.

This is a clearly identified form of abuse. It's called corruption. It's when you try to make a child (or you) do or say things you know to be "bad", but pretending that they're not. Your father tries to corrupt you. And he has succeeded in many other ways. This makes you hated in society, and you don't even know why. You have been corrupted.

Imagine if a father said to his child, "Wear this T-shirt, I wrote a nice joke on it and people will laugh!" and on the shirt is written, "I hate niggers."

Then you go to school and other kids frown at you, and you don't know why. You think they're jealous of the joke. Then they attack you, and you still don't know why, so you defend yourself. They say it's because of the shirt, you say it's just a nice joke your dad told you. They don't believe you because no father is this evil, so they think you're lying and making excuses.

This is exactly what your father did to you. This has happened to you in countless ways already. Just connect.

>>38457438
>Would you not have sex with a woman for free?
If I could be sure of avoiding all consequences, sure. As it stands, not really, for STDs run rampant and it is too easy to make a woman pregnant so she can ruin your life. Rape is great in concept, but even without laws, it would need more conditions fixed before it could be beneficial to be done.

>He owes you all the OCD you're suffering from
That is my own fault. I am too retarded just to stop on something as simple as games. He couldn't help me being retarded, he did the best he could.

>He owes you
I don't see why at all. I never did anything for him.

>Sometimes you can't even break the rules you make up
This does make quite a bit of sense. When I was younger, before I was aware of all the problems my parents were having, I didn't have OCD with games. Back then I did care that the cup I was drinking out of was a "big cup" and could never change cups for drinking different drinks.

>>38457449
>You don't realize you're in a fight and that you're losing it
No, I do not Nick.

>>38457480
>Dragons decimate the land
They are simply territorial. They have a lot of courage and bravery. To follow "the way of the dragon" is to have a lot of strength indeed. Mills on the other hand are medieval buildings that usually belongs to a group of humans that would complain about needing food.

>You go for the wrong enemy, so you never win
But if my father is my enemy, than I am truly alone in this world.

>>38457643
>My father loves whites and the white race.

No. He hates blacks, that's very different. If he was a coherent racist, he'd not let his white son share a house with non-whites. If he was a coherent racist and white-lover, he'd not tolerate to have his own white son be treated like shit by non-whites, so spare me this bullshit.

> Puerto Ricans, which isn't black in his eyes.

Puerto Ricans descend from Europeans. Of course they're not black "in his eyes," they aren't black at all. Their ancestors were Spanish.

I'd be interested in some thoughts. I've had a dream last night about beating a woman to death with my fists and then trying to conceal the fact.

Any thoughts?

>>38457728
>Semantics is what I was referring to, not grammar.

Semantics - an oft abused word - is the science of meaning. Semantics studies how words mean things. Words have "semes", that is, meanings. Most words have more than one meaning. Fan is either a thing to produce wind, or a human who really likes something/someone. That's semantics.

People who whine about "arguing semantics" are pieces of shit who need to die Yes,
it makes me angry; no, I'm not literal..

Hello,
I am studying computer science, and I am really enjoying it. I'm currently reading a book about computer architecture.
My problem is that my mind keeps drifting away even when I am doing something I enjoy, and this is not just limited to studying; but it also happens when I play video games, reading a novel, watching a movie or anime.
When I watch a move or an anime, for example, I often have to go back a bit and watch again because my mind would have drifted away for several minutes, even if the story and the episode are really cool.
In terms of studying, I sometimes only manage to finish two pages of the book I am reading a day, and it takes me hours sometimes to finish one page.
I've been reading the computer architecture book I'm reading since April and I've only finished 104 pages. The book is 500 pages long and my exam is in August. :(
I really don't know what to do! D:

>>38457759

That sounds worrying, pal.

If you don't know why you act, you have to connect dots in your mind way more.

>>38457825

I have the same issue. For now, all I can do is manually stay focused, and go back when I disconnected. Try enjoying the material and forget about focusing, this usually works. When your mind wanders, just gently bring it back, reread the bits you missed.

Don't make it a big problem, don't worry if it happens. Just let it happen and gently get back to it.

>>38457940
isnt this something you usually think about?

>>38457922
>Rape is great in concept,

No, it's not. We've already discussed this. You have also been made aware that I don't like this topic being discussed lightly. Do you not remember?

>>38457922
>That is my own fault.

OCD is not self-inflicted. If you could, you'd dump your OCD this very minute.

>He couldn't help me being retarded, he did the best he could.

He is a fucktard who uses you.

Continuation of this post >>38457973
I have had this problem for a very long time, but it seems to be getting worse every year.
I feel bored all the time now.
I sleep really late because it takes me sometimes half an hour to brush my teeth, and it usually takes me an hour or more to prepare breakfast, lunch or dinner. I also usually take an hour when I shit or when I shower.
I really can't stand this anymore.

>>38457522
>If you had refused, he would be embarrassed
I still don't understand embarrassment. Why would such an act make one embarrassed?

>Nobody can tell you what to do if you don't accept
They do, that is why they lock you in asylums "for your safety" or jail if you are bad.

>Is she his mother?
She is, but she used to beat him a lot as a kid and always favored his sister to the point she was a NEET at the house. Eventually she left with a guy she found, but all her kids moved in as she didn't want them around her, so here we are. He hates the fact that she favors them over him, saying he is her son and thus his opinion should be given more priority. They argue when he goes there to complain and tell her they should be on the streets, which he says is unfair as it is simply chatting with his mother.

>Everything he does towards you is manipulation
Perhaps, Nick, perhaps. Hard to trust when I don't know anything different.

>>38457531
Never thought I was one who could produce any worthy greentexts. Now I find out my father is walking greentext stories.

>>38457538
Well, I can't change things Nick, it would take too much luck on my part to ensure things remained stable and I at least have a computer I can go to 4chan on.

>>38458019
Not quite to be honest. I'm just wondering if there is any symbolic explanation.

>>38457940
Hey slavfriend
Do you fantisize about these things? Beating women, torture, control etc?

I do but I don't find myself dreaming about them as much. I have lengthy fantasies about shooting/beating people in general but it's more emphasized on the females despite me lacking experience with them.

>>38457986
>you have to connect dots in your mind way more
I'll try. Maybe it'll happen?

>>38457922
>They are simply territorial. They have a lot of courage and bravery.

I'll speak to you like your father does if that's all you'll fucking listen to.

Which one of you or me has a degree in French literature which covers medieval literature? That's right, me.

Even though I made some of this stuff up, dragons are not neutral beings, they are connected to the serpent of the Old Testament, and thus, Satan. Again, you're thinking literally here, which is fucking stupid considering we're discussing dragons.

> To follow "the way of the dragon" is to have a lot of strength indeed. Mills on the other hand are medieval buildings that usually belongs to a group of humans that would complain about needing food.


You're comparing an expression from a culture where dragons are seen positively (and are completely different) to a literal medieval structure, only to say that starving humans "complain about food"; are you fucking stupid? You sound like your father right now. The same fucking stupid nonsense filled with hatred for humanity.

Ask yourself: do you want to become your father? If not, you'd better wake the fuck up, Coats.

>But if my father is my enemy, than I am truly alone in this world.

Don't I fucking count, Coats? Who spends ten hours a day of his holidays on you for absolutely free and no hopes to get into anyone's will? It's me, you fucker.

You aren't alone, but your father is not with you.

>>38458016
Oh, thanks for your reply.
I'm sorry for deleting my post and reposting it; I had to edit a few mistakes.
Also, I have to add that I am for a middle-eastern country (Jordan), and psychologists here are really bad. Seeking mental help is a bad idea since there have often been stories here of doctors prescribing wrong medications, etc.
Also, if anyone ever finds out that I am seeking medical help, my reputation will be completely ruined. Arabs are retarded in many way, but one of the worst things about them is shaming people with mental problems, so I have to hide it no matter what.

>>38457560
>He's already left you
Regardless, I cannot just walk out. I already tried that route with my mother, that went horrible. As I said, my father has saved my life twice.

>Gullible idiot
I have no idea, I try not to pay attention to his stuff either way.

>>38457587
He plans on buying out the house from his siblings if she leaves it to all three of them. He knows they are disinterested in the house.

>>38457625
No, but he just never found a real purpose to do those things, it was easier just to have me do whatever. If I don't need to learn, he generally doesn't bother teaching, and he tends to find alternatives to me learning how to do something.

>>38457940

You hate women because you long for them. You also hate yourself. You're the only one you can fist easily.

>>38457973

Am I experiencing deja-vu...

>>38458057

This sounds very serious. Have you seen a psychiatrist about it?

>>38458110
I don't fantasize too often. Sometimes, but then I should have these dreams more often.

>>38458187
No, but I deleted my post, fixed some errors and reposted it.
Sorry.

>>38458062
>I still don't understand embarrassment. Why would such an act make one embarrassed?

Because that whole bit of his presentation is based on the audience participating. If the audience does not, what would he do? He couldn't make his bit work, and it'd be sad. Being an improviser, he'd manage to get by without too much embarrassment. Coats, people get embarrassed, because, unlike your father, they care what people think of them. They're not insane.

>They do, that is why they lock you in asylums "for your safety" or jail if you are bad.

They still can't tell you what to do against your will.

>She is, but she used to beat him a lot as a kid and always favored his sister to the point she was a NEET at the house. Eventually she left with a guy she found, but all her kids moved in as she didn't want them around her, so here we are. He hates the fact that she favors them over him, saying he is her son and thus his opinion should be given more priority. They argue when he goes there to complain and tell her they should be on the streets, which he says is unfair as it is simply chatting with his mother.

So your father is a momma's boy. I'm not surprised your grandmother is also an abuser. It repeats itself until someone is strong enough to end the cycle. Are you strong enough, Coats? Or are you a fucking pussy who will make other people suffer his sins? I hope you will prove worthy of your destiny, Coatsters.

>>38458204
Hmm. Likewise I should have those types of dreams more often. The subconscious is a weird thing. All I can tell you for sure is that there is no definitive answer or objective guideline when it comes to that. Which I realize is no help at all to you

>>38458110
>emphasized on the females despite me lacking experience with them.

>despite
>not because

Kek.

about the sleep thingy, i tried to sleep a few hours after i woke up and i didnt hear or see anything i think. i guess i only have them when i go to sleep at night? is it just hypnagogia? i usually go to sleep at like 2 am btw

>>38458123

Do try. Logic is your friend, use it.

>>38458151

I'm really sorry your country is unevolved in that department.

Psychologists aren't allowed to prescribe medication, they're not doctors. Keep that in mind. Avoid meds anyway.

>>38458171
>You're the only one you can fist easily.
That is true. I don't have dreams about punching myself though. I've actually never seen the woman before. I didn't hate her even. I would understand if I did, but she was just there, waiting for a train. She was pretty too, long curly black hair, nice face.

I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. Usually when I have violent dreams, they kinda make sense as in I feel hate against the person who I'm committing violence against. Not this time. She was just there.

>>38458167
>He knows they are disinterested in the house.

He also "knows" aliens put us here and that "nigger" is because of the country Niger. Your father isn't very smart, Coats.

He probably has no clue who his siblings even are, mentally, and thus he is likely wrong about their disinterest.

Give me ONE FUCKING REASON why his siblings wouldn't care about a house that's probably worth over 100'000 dollars? Maybe way more. Houses here are worth half a million on average.

One fucking reason, Coats, one.

>>38457675
>It's a kind of game where everyone wins
Sounds nice to not have people yelling at you for looking at their body. I just don't want to be like my father with this, I don't want to disrespect women, but give them all the respect they deserve.

How do I know that you, being a male, are not just justifying your actions so you can stare at women? It sounds like a way to just gain enjoyment by staring at their bodies. I don't see how anyone looking at your body can ever be seen as a form of respect under any circumstances. Why do feminists protest so much against this otherwise?

>Men can play it too
I know women do look at men. Luckily I can remain invisible due to being an ugly male, the most I got was when I was in high school and a female tried to pinch my butt. That was quite bothersome.

I ironically got more action as a child than as an adult. As a kid I used to have a girl who wouldn't mind sitting on my hand on the bus ride home every day from school. Nothing sexual at the time, I just liked the sensation of having that much pressure on it, but it is quite interesting to look back at. I got to have my hand on a female's butt in elementary school, now I can't even talk to a female in real life.

Nowadays even LARPing femanons make me aroused. The simple idea of it potentially being a female is enough to interest me.

File: 1seih8.jpg (56KB, 423x600px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 423x600px

>>38458167
>If I don't need to learn, he generally doesn't bother teaching, and he tends to find alternatives to me learning how to do something.

I'm getting tired of the bullshit here. Everyone needs to know how to cook because everyone fucking eats.

Every responsible parent teaches his child to be independent. If this doesn't prove to you how used and bitched you are by your father, nothing will.

Coats, I'm fucking tired of you rationalising around to make your father look better than he is. Where do you draw the fucking line? He could throatfuck you and you'd defend him saying his dick was cold and since he gave you life, he deserves to throatfuck you. There's no fucking limit.

Everything you say about society, you unconsciously mean about your father. It is HE who seeks to cuck you.

>>38458308
Yeah, I was never planning to take any meds, anyway.
Also, I think the younger generation (i.e. teenagers and young adults) are much more open-minded, accepting and knowledgeable when it comes to mental problems; however, the adults still have a lot of backwarded beliefs.

>>38458280
>The subconscious is a weird thing.

Only plebs call it the "subconscious", so don't. As Jung said, we don't know if it's "under" or "above" the conscious. Say the "unconscious", or else you'll sound like a cultist psychoanalyst.

As to dreams, always analyse dreams with the dreamer in mind. The dreamer is always the key to interpret dreams.

>>38458090
cant help you much then, im really not into symbolism. not sure i even believe in it.

>>38458151
>psychologists here are really bad
The resident armchair psychologist Nick isn't any better. Go read your book.

>>38457769
>Everything except a normal person
Interesting indeed.

>They don't believe you because no father is this evil
Fascinating, this would explain why many had problems with me and I couldn't figure out why.

>>38457932
>Not tolerate to have his own white son treated like shit
You know, I never thought of it that way. You are quite correct, why leave me with blacks if he cannot stand them?

>Puerto Rican
All I can remember was growing up and my school bus driver listening to the "Freaking Puerto-Rican" that would talk about his problems with "crackers".

>>38458301

Maybe?

>>38458372
>I don't want to disrespect women, but give them all the respect they deserve.

Yet raping them isn't a problem to you. Fucking hell...

>How do I know that you, being a male, are not just justifying your actions so you can stare at women?

If you had paid attention, I never said I stared at women. Putting words in my mouth, dad trick, perhaps.

> I don't see how anyone looking at your body can ever be seen as a form of respect under any circumstances.

If done in a respectful way, it's respectful. See body-building contexts, fashion shows, beauty pageants, etc. When women compliment me on my body, it's done respectfully.

>Why do feminists protest so much against this otherwise?

"Feminists" means nothing nowadays. You have no idea what they mean, either. Most of what you know of things comes from your father, and what he knows or thinks he knows is downright insane.

>>38457973
Hey, I would suggest seeking professional advice for this. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was around 10 and I recognize this all too well.

Even things I enjoy can be hard to get into, like reading good book except it doesn't feel very good or exciting since you get lost every 10 sentences.

>>38458372
>Nothing sexual at the time

Having a woman sit on your hand, with her ass, is sexual. Grow up, Coats. Sex isn't just penis in vagina, what the fuck.

>The simple idea of it potentially being a female is enough to interest me.

LO knows of your existence. She is cute and super hot, and very intelligent. If you describe yourself, she'll draw you.

>>38457966
I see, I definitely have a lot to learn.

>>38458029
>Do you not remember?
Actually I didn't. I remember you said it was wrong, but nothing about me talking about it.

>>38458048
>If you could, you'd dump your OCD
Very true indeed. Every person I have gone to either cannot help or says to just do what I want to do. I have zero idea how to manage it and not end up suicidal due to trying to manage it.

>Fucktard who uses you
I still am scared I am making things sound worse than they are. My own interpretation of thing might not be the best Nick.

>>38458560
>She is cute and super hot, and very intelligent
Don't talk about my breeding pig like that

So recently my brother has passed away and been dealing with that all. I see psych guy for therapy. Helps me out so far after two sessions. But weird things have been coming up especially hanging out with my brothers friends. One of them has been was my brother was able to tell me shit about all them to make me feel more secure. Like when I thought they were making fun of me or acting in a kind of way that made me feel like shit, my brother would be able to tell me like "no they didn't mean X" or "you're taking it too seriously". But now without him I not only feel the burden of having to be friends with his friends but also I don't have someone that can reassure me that they genuinely like me. I also feel like I'm a burden to them, reminding them of my brother. Who wants a constant reminder of someone who killed themselves? Idk if it'd be best I just close this door and say goodbye to them and hang out with my own (few) friends. But I'm already lonely so idk if that'd be good for me?

>>38458421

Glad to know that. Same with Iran. Tomorrow will be bright in the Middle East.

>>38458451
>cant help you much then, im really not into symbolism. not sure i even believe in it.

No need to believe it, it happens.

>>38458504
>Fascinating, this would explain why many had problems with me and I couldn't figure out why.

Yes, go over your entire life and reconsider things from this perspective.

>You know, I never thought of it that way. You are quite correct, why leave me with blacks if he cannot stand them?

Some day you will see the bullshit as well as anyone else would. Once you can do that, nothing will stop you.

>>38458580
>Actually I didn't. I remember you said it was wrong, but nothing about me talking about it.

You didn't connect my reactions with that? Rape has always been a sensitive topic to me. I've only recently learned that my mother was raped and never recovered from it. Don't talk about rape as if it was a casual thing to do, Coats. It's not. Imagine violating your most precious set of OCD rules, and having to do so for months. Imagine if you had to play a game from 2016, but backwards, each level from the end to the beginning, and you had to do this for an entire series, sometimes with being forced to play the game at random. Being raped feels worse than this, and it lasts for a long time. Try to imagine, then think about it next time you want to mention rape.

>>38458580
>I still am scared I am making things sound worse than they are. My own interpretation of thing might not be the best Nick.

Your interpretation is way too nice. Things are far worse than you make them sound. It's obvious to everyone here. Just reading your greentext shows this.

Tell us more about what your father says and does. You'll see.

Remember you're called Winter Coat because you'd wear a winter coat in summer if your father asked you to.

>>38458596
>I don't have someone that can reassure me that they genuinely like me. I also feel like I'm a burden to them,

All this sounds like Borderline traits where you're never sure you're liked.

Hang out with people, you aren't just a reminder of your brother, you're a person. If people could be just a reminder of someone else, all your brother's friends would be reminders of him to each other. So no.

>>38458526
Yeah, I suspected that it could be ADHD for a while now.
As much as I want to, I can't seek professional help.
I also suffered from very severe OCD from a very young age, till I stopped it myself at the age of 19 using Exposure and Response Prevention that I did myself at home without any professional help. (Keep in mind that I had to do E&RP for about 2 years to stop it, and there are still trances of OCD in me; I still get minor obsessions every now and then).
I am trying to find a way that I can possibly battle ADHD on my own like I did with OCD.

Also, since I brought up OCD; I saw some posts in this thread by someone suffering from OCD.
This woman's channel helped me A LOT; it's one of the best things that ever happened to me:
https://youtu.be/pJp9vlp84Wk
Watch her OCD treatment videos (numbered from 1 to 18; I linked to the first video).

>>38458136
>Satan
I see. So dragons are Satanic.

>You'd better wake the fuck up, Coats
Well, who is to say that the villagers were in the right? That they didn't encroach upon the dragon's land in the first place?

If I did, what is to say I wouldn't recess anyway? I am a failure at everything else, I would mess up everything and revert as soon as I could.

>Don't I fucking count, Coats?
You count as support... but I am alone. You aren't here in reality, it isn't like if I faltered here you could help. I am a person on the other side of the world you can easily offer advice to. I lose the internet, I lose my ability to even communicate here.

>>38458723
So my brother was able to give that balance but now I don't. How do I keep my mind from racing into this insecure k-hole? When my brother committed suicide my therapist described it to me imagining someone holding their arm to a fire and they can't let go. I would go there and I thought I was going to be the one to do it but he essentially best me to it. And now I have to live in this world...I mean that's another thought that's been bothering me and it's that it should've been me and not him. He was liked and enjoyed, I was just the younger brother. I would tell this to my psych guy but I feel like I'd be institutionalized so here I am saying this here

>>38458606
>No need to believe it, it happens.
lots of times its possible to find connections when you look for it. that doesnt mean that there was a meaning or purpose to begin with.

>>38458741
I was a bit too fast but you never really know, the human mind is incredibly complex.

>>38458057
Judging by this post it could be that you're also depressed which isn't uncommon for people with other mental problems (I've been there twice so far and believe me it will get better)


I hope you're able to find help or someone you can trust because trying to battle your own mind is not easy.

>>38458274
>He couldn't make his bit work, and it'd be sad
He would be cucked by society, a tool for them to enjoy tormenting when they felt bored enough to go to his show. Is this in truth what embarrassment is?

>They still can't tell you what to do against your will
They can't tell me, against my will, to enter a prison cell? Good to know murderers are willing to spend the rest of their lives in a tiny box.

>I hope you will prove worthy of your destiny
See? The best solution is to end the cycle. I am the only child. The best way to end the cycle is to never be with a woman, to never have children, and thus to kill the lineage.

>>38458352
>Your father isn't very smart, Coats
He seems to outsmart me at every turn.

>He probably has no clue who his siblings even are
Funnily enough, I have assumed the same.

>Give me ONE FUCKING REASON
According to my father, they live down south and wouldn't want to come up here. If he is willing to buy their potion of the house from them, why wouldn't they take it?

>>38458832
Thanks a lot! :)
I hope so too.

I also considered depression, but it's really hard for me to tell which is which now.

>>38458394
>He deserves to throatfuck you
What else am I supposed to do? I can't be independent Nick. You can try to teach me, but I can't learn without tools, which I can't have until I leave. The problem is that I am incompetent. Work would have me open the doors, I would pull out my back trying to unlock the doors. If I can't do this, how can I trust myself with an oven?

>>38458513
>Raping them isn't a problem to you
Have I raped a woman? I give them respect, but mine comes first.

>Never said I stared at a woman
I said it wrong, glancing at a woman. Any length of time means the same to me.

>Done in a respectful way, it's respectful
Meaning the woman is purposefully showing off her body. Not walking around in her average life, then she doesn't want you looking at her ass.

>You have no idea what they mean either
Perhaps, but I thought that is why they always said "my eyes are up here" and ended up going how they can't walk down the street without a man trying to get a good idea of what her vag is shaped like.

http://radio.garden/live/

Enjoy.

>>38458741

While I don't have OCD myself, thanks for the videos!

>>38458560
>Having a woman sit on your hand, with her ass, is sexual
Not when you are a 1st grader. You don't have the hormones for it yet. If I did, I would have been trying to finger her or have skin to skin contact.

>LO knows of your existence
Your girlfriend I assume?

>If you describe yourself, she'll draw you
As I have said before, fat abraham lincoln in modern clothing.

>>38458991
What's with all the radios in the Netherlands?

>>38458748
>You count as support... but I am alone. You aren't here in reality, it isn't like if I faltered here you could help. I am a person on the other side of the world you can easily offer advice to. I lose the internet, I lose my ability to even communicate here.

I count as support?

You can't lose the Internet. Even if you were homeless, you'd get free Internet in any library or Starbucks or whatever.

As to other side of the world, I guess your father never bought you a globe. You're less than a day away.

>>38458800
>How do I keep my mind from racing into this insecure k-hole?

DBT. Dialetic Behavioral Therapy. Do it or get a book about it.

You have survivor guilt.

There are other issues underlying all this, I think.

>>38458606
>Reconsider things from this perspective
The problem is I don't know what the shirt said Nick, what is is that others saw.

>Some day you will see the bullshit
I hope. I can imagine myself relapsing. I am very weak.

>>38458658
That is quite horrible indeed. That is hell. I apologize for all that your mother went through, I can't believe the amount of misery that must be.

>>38458687
>Winter coat in summer if your father asked you to
It is nice knowing I am not just playing up some drama. I constantly worry that is all I am doing here, that I am misinterpreting a normal relationship with a family to be worse than it is. That as a psychopath I just misinterpreted everything and I am the only one in the wrong.

>What your father says and does
Not sure what there is to talk about. It isn't abnormal to me, so it means I don't really have topics to bring up unless you mention them.

>>38458802
>lots of times its possible to find connections when you look for it.

That's how the Rorschach test functions. What you find by forcing associations isn't irrelevant to your mind.

>that doesnt mean that there was a meaning or purpose to begin with.

That is up for you to judge. People know when a symbol makes sense to them or not. Even if there was no meaning originally, what they associate afterwards could still be meaningful.

>>38459060
>You'd get free Internet in any library or Starbucks
But what about a computer? They don't provide you with that.

>You're less than a day away
Indeed I am confused. You are in Switzerland, which is nowhere close to me.

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30KB, 500x691px

>>38458847
>He would be cucked by society, a tool for them to enjoy tormenting when they felt bored enough to go to his show. Is this in truth what embarrassment is?

No.

>>38458847
>They can't tell me, against my will, to enter a prison cell? Good to know murderers are willing to spend the rest of their lives in a tiny box.

They can physically force you, but nobody can tell you to do things against your will, ultimately.

>See? The best solution is to end the cycle. I am the only child. The best way to end the cycle is to never be with a woman, to never have children, and thus to kill the lineage.

Don't be Henry Rollins. You are young, you can be saved. I will help you not get slaughtered, young lamb.

>He seems to outsmart me at every turn.

He has groomed you to believe nonsense and not see logical fallacies. It's easy to manipulate you because you worship him like a god. You're much smarter than him though. And you are more resilient than you know. He couldn't make you say racial slurs. There's good in you, Coats, and it can save you.

>Funnily enough, I have assumed the same.

If they are healthier, you should consider seeking their help. They might prove important in your future. They are your family, they are your blood.

>According to my father, they live down south and wouldn't want to come up here. If he is willing to buy their potion of the house from them, why wouldn't they take it?

He's likely hoping to con them somehow. It won't work. They'll get an agent to sell the house to some other person who will actually pay. His plan won't work. Not only are you used like a pawn, but you're used for a plan that will fail.

If your uncles/aunts are mentally OK, and especially if they are on bad terms with your father, you should contact them. I'll help you write an e-mail for them if necessary.

>>38458889

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38458983
>What else am I supposed to do? I can't be independent Nick.

You can. There are people on this board right now who are living on their own and they don't even work.

>>38458983
>The problem is that I am incompetent.

No, you were made to feel incompetent. I'm a teacher, I teach things to children and young adults all the time. I know very well what potential a person has. I know your potential is above average, which is the only reason why you didn't grow up to be truly retarded, despite the hostile environment you lived in.

Don't worry about the fucking cookier, Coats. You've played games far more complex than a cooker.

>Have I raped a woman? I give them respect, but mine comes first.

If yours come first, then don't let your father disrespect you so much.

>Any length of time means the same to me.

Huge error. It doesn't mean the same to humans.

>Meaning the woman is purposefully showing off her body. Not walking around in her average life, then she doesn't want you looking at her ass.

We'll leave that for much, much later.

>>38459049

My guess: the genius who made this website is Dutch and started with his country.

>>38459316
>No
And I thought I was getting somewhere...

>They can physically force you
Which works just as well

>You are young, you can be saved
Not when this is too much for me Nick. I can't do this.

>It's easy to manipulate you because you worship him like a god.
Perhaps, though from my perspective he seems quite intelligent. Dumb people don't end up being as successful as my father. He is respected by my company, he must be doing something right.

>You should consider seeking their help
I doubt they are healthier. They were abused just as much. In any event, they have no ties to me and live on the other side of the country. I wouldn't trust word not to get back to my father, for me not to be betrayed.

It is hard enough not believing this isn't some elaborate plan to communicate with my father. I have a lot of paranoia about this, about him finding out about me and what I am doing.

>You're used for a plan that will fail
Regardless, I can't just betray my father like that.

>>38459025
>Not when you are a 1st grader. You don't have the hormones for it yet.

Wrong. Sexuality isn't as limited as you or Freud imagine.

>If I did, I would have been trying to finger her or have skin to skin contact.

Strange thoughts you have. Contact is contact.

>Your girlfriend I assume?

You don't know LO... She is my ex-fiancee.

>>38459175
i did the rorschach test once, it was fun. though almost none of my answers were actually listed, so i couldnt draw any conclusions from it.

>what they associate afterwards could still be meaningful.
this is true, but it doesnt make symbolism true. it's not pure enough or something for me to give it value.

>>38459148
>The problem is I don't know what the shirt said Nick, what is is that others saw.

I'm here for that. I translate for you all the time.

>>38459148
>I hope. I can imagine myself relapsing. I am very weak.

You're very strong, you've managed to survive the abuse your father has imposed on your for over two decades, and you're still there, and you're still doing what he says. Others would have snapped and killed themselves, and/or him. I know people first hand who almost didn't make it out alive, and their abuser wasn't nearly as fucked as your father.

>>38459148
>I apologize for all that your mother went through, I can't believe the amount of misery that must be.

Don't. My mother did the same thing your father did: instead of dealing with their suffering, they pussied out and abused someone else. My mother made me pay for what my father did to her.

Apes do this: if an ape suffers a frustration, he may attack a weaker ape, and feel better. Humans often vent like that.

>Not sure what there is to talk about. It isn't abnormal to me, so it means I don't really have topics to bring up unless you mention them.

Virtually anything your father says or does is insane. Focus on arguments he has with others or you and you're pretty much sure to find gold. By which I mean shit.

>>38459414
>Living on their own and they don't even work
Indeed, if you can get benefits from the government you can have an easier time than if you work. It is easier to be a NEET than a minimum wage employee.

>Potential is above average, which is the only reason why you didn't grow up to be truly retarded
I am still uncertain that I am not truly retarded. Another fear of mine has been getting a therapist to see me as a danger to the point that they give me pills or send me to a nuthouse. My parents used to use that like the boogieman. How do I know I am not retarded?

>You've played games far more complex than a cooker
You have never played Thief, so what games are you talking about that we share and is more complex than a cooker?

>Don't let your father disrespect you so much
But then I would be truly selfish. At least this offers some redemption.

>It doesn't mean the same to humans
Indeed, I was not aware. How do you measure time when looking at someone? How do you not forget what you were doing while looking at them?

>Much, much later
Indeed, I don't want to be making horrible mistakes in my confusion.

>>38459179
>But what about a computer? They don't provide you with that.

Go to a college library, there will be computers for students. Other Burgers can give you tips.

I see no reason why you couldn't afford a connection.

>>38459179
>You are in Switzerland, which is nowhere close to me.

If I took a plan tonight, I'd be at your place tomorrow.

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>>38459414
Just gonna dump results here. More tests? Nothing better to do.

>>38459483

This reminds me that your father has invaded your privacy. It's illegal. Did you know? Your father is literally breaking the fucking law to violate your life, and you take it like a fucking cuck.

You could sue your father for this, and so much more.

Wake up.

Now, I'm not asking for exact numbers, though you can share them. Could you afford an apartment with your salary? And buy food?

10 miles, you can do this on a bike.

>>38459486
>Sexuality isn't as limited as you or Freud imagine
So I had a sexual encounter. That is good, that means I have done more than most other robots and should be happier.

>Contact is contact
Perhaps you are right and I am just being picky. I got to have my hand on a female's butt. As you said, the end goal is to get others to like you, and someone must have to let me to this. So ergo I don't need to leave my father, I have achieved all I needed in my life. Though now I feel upset that I am so selfish to want more. Why can I not just be happy? How do I get happy?

>She is my ex-fiancee
So what is she doing here? An ex is not a healthy thing to have around at all, they may seduce you again and thus you keep repeating the same mistakes for years.

>>38459525
>I translate for you all the time
I am just too retarded to grasp the meaning and end up arguing.

>You're still there
Never would have thought being cucked for two generations, if indeed I am, would be a good trait.

>>38459498
>it doesnt make symbolism true.

That means nothing. Symbolism is real: symbols exist, people do incarnate ideas and values and concepts into objects, images, people, etc. You talk about it like it's some sort of occult science.

Nick, I'm also interested in seeing how derealization ties into lack of sleep. Is there a way to fight it when it occurres? Been happening a lot lately and it's scary, is there a way to fight it? Thinking about it and trying to figure it out on a cognitively seems to make it worse. The best thing I've found is to ignore it, but it inveidably comes back.

>>38459610
>How do I know I am not retarded?
didnt you say you got straight As?

>>38459610
>It is easier to be a NEET than a minimum wage employee.

With your OCD, and the fact that you actually work, you could get serious help from the government. You deserve it. People work and save money so that people who are less lucky can also get a chance to live well. You are the less lucky person here, this is how insurance works. You deserve to be helped and saved from your father's bullshit.

>>38459610
>Another fear of mine has been getting a therapist to see me as a danger to the point that they give me pills or send me to a nuthouse.

Any therapist will see what's wrong very quickly. Your parents used therapists like the boogieman because they don't want you to know their secrets. Their secrets all have to do with being mentally ill. This is why your father will never seek therapy.

You aren't retarded because you show no signs of mental retardation. All your mishaps have to do with having had zero socialisation and zero normal education. You were raised all wrong by a mad man.

>>38459591
>Humans often vent like that
If I remember hearing correctly, it is "kicking the weaker dog" syndrome. People will take advantage of those weaker than them, like dominoes.

>You're pretty much sure to find gold
Well, I do remember my mother saying that he loved to use "I pay the bills, I run the show" as a defense, though it is hard to believe her due to her being a narcissistic woman. I remember her saying that would be put on his tombstone.

>>38459620
>College library, computers for students
They let you use them if you aren't a student yourself? I thought internet was a luxury the poor had to do without.

>If I took a plane tonight
You could do that literally anywhere on the globe and say that. Even halfway across the world, that holds true. Planes are fast.

>>38459610
>You have never played Thief,

I have played Thief.

>so what games are you talking about that we share and is more complex than a cooker?

Literally any. A cooker is an oven with four heating plates on top. You turn buttons to adjust the heat. Plates usually go from 1 to 10, the oven usually displays the temperature in degrees. And that's all there is to it. If you can open a door and turn buttons, you're good to go. All the games you've mentioned were more complicated than that.

>>38459610
>But then I would be truly selfish.

Defending yourself is not selfish. Selfishness is when you make others suffer for your benefit. That's what your father does: he makes you suffer for his own benefits. Defending yourself from someone who steals from you is not being selfish.

>>38459660

http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/stpd/stypal.php
https://pcsearle.com/screening/screen_des.html
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
http://www.educateautism.com/infographics/sally-anne-test.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/mental-health-assessment

>>38459711

>So ergo I don't need to leave my father, I have achieved all I needed in my life.

That makes zero sense. You're rationalising just like your father. You don't want to "leave" him because you're scared, but instead of admitting that, you make up some insane false reason.

>Why can I not just be happy? How do I get happy?

How about observing what makes other people happy and trying it out? How about being an adult who is independent instead of one who lives like a child and is treated like a child?

>So what is she doing here? An ex is not a healthy thing to have around at all, they may seduce you again and thus you keep repeating the same mistakes for years.

I've been in a relationship with her for 7 years. Your alien ways and total absence of experience in women and normal human beings shouldn't make you think that you have any advice to give on the matter. You are ignorant of whatever exists between LO and I, to top it all. As to mistakes, the only mistake is you letting your father seduce you again and keeping you repeating the same mistakes for years.

Bonus: seduction literally means "to pull to oneself, se = self, duction = pull.

>>38459719
well symbolism as i see it has many sub-groups.
one might get a tattoo of a seashell as a symbol of when they won a surfing contest because they associate that memory with the shell. this is perfectly valid, nothing occult with it.

then there's something like the turkish eye which is manufactured by people and is supposed to bring good luck. this is bullshit and will at best make you feel better if you believe it.

getting to the more occult parts is stuff like dream reading or stepping into the wast lore of judaism where you create meaning and reason out of slightly unusual events.

though i feel a bit inferior for not being able to ramble on about mysticism and judaism. i hear it's got cool stuff but i just cant motivate myself to read about it.

>>38459711
>two generations

If generations only take ten years in your family, it's time to worry even more.

>>38459694
>Has invaded your privacy
How so? He respects my privacy as far as I am aware, I cannot prove anything. He just makes me paranoid enough that he could be doing such.

>Can you afford?
$12 an hour. Comes out to about $700 a week after taxes.

>You can do this on a bike
If I knew how to ride one...

>>38459742
Yes, but there are intelligent retards out there. Those in the retarded class that are near literal geniuses. I am no genius, but it does mean I can have more capabilities and still be retarded.

>>38459759
>With your OCD
How on earth do I justify payment for that? I can't play video games freely, but have to follow a linear track that makes me miserable. Nobody can understand that outside of this thread Nick, how can I get support for having some problems playing video games? Poor me, I have mental issues and can't play certain video games, while others are dying of cancer or lung diseases. I definitely need to be saved.

>You actually work
If you work, you don't need help from the government. That simple as far as I am aware. After a certain baseline, which I cross, you can't get help. It is like I get too little to do anything, but too much to get help.

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>>38459735

Ignoring it is best, but you need to rest. Remember, it's a mechanical process. Your brain disconnects to worry less. Lack of sleep will often make me feel slightly derealised, this is true.

This book details the process and countless other things that everyone here should know about.

>>38459908
Thanks. Interested in seeing the results? I'm a skeptic when it comes to these, but maybe we'll see a pattern or something

>>38459816
>"I pay the bills, I run the show" as a defense, though it is hard to believe her due to her being a narcissistic woman.

He says the same to you as well, with other words, but it's the same principle. He is a pussy. True authorities have authority because others recognise they are good for the job; bad bosses and parents need to remind you that they're the boss because they're the boss, a circular argument. I never tell my students, "I'm the teacher, so you must obey me," since that would be fucking stupid and say the exact opposite. They don't obey me because I'm the teacher, I'm the teacher because they obey me.

And they obey me because I'm a credible authority.

>>38459945
I'll add to my list, the reference is genuinely appreciated. Will look for a pdf format, if nothing then it'll have to hold on till I return to the states

>>38459816
>They let you use them if you aren't a student yourself? I thought internet was a luxury the poor had to do without.

You're American. The poor of your nation have the luxury to get obese by overeating. They can also have access to the Internet to make sure to look at cats and avoid the wiki page on calories.

For all I know, nobody checks who's a student and who's not in college libraries. Check your local library as well. It probably has computers.

Maybe even a cybercafe. Either way, a cheal laptop, like I have, is enough to get online. Just go to Starbucks and shit.

>You could do that literally anywhere on the globe and say that. Even halfway across the world, that holds true. Planes are fast.

And? You're telling me I'm telling you the truth. Yes, that's exactly what I said, and it's true.

>>38459789
>Any therapist will see what's wrong very quickly
That does sound logical and I have questioned the same, if it was done simply so they were safe. But I also fear therapists are government controlled individuals who feed pills to people who don't need them to keep them as mind controlled slaves. It is probably irrational paranoia, but it makes it hard to handle therapists. You might as well say you are sending me to the butcher's to have my balls crushed.

>No signs of mental retardation
I don't know what these signs are.

>>38459818
>I have played Thief
Are you taffin me? Good to know.

>If you can open a door and turn buttons, you're good to go.
Somehow I just feel I will mess it up. I am not good in the physical world like I am on a computer. One of my biggest problems.

>>38459840
Perhaps, but regardless, I couldn't hurt him. Good to know it would not be selfish at least.

Have to go, will continue shortly.

>>38459922
>then there's something like the turkish eye which is manufactured by people and is supposed to bring good luck. this is bullshit and will at best make you feel better if you believe it.

That's a superstition. Symbolism is only about physical objects representing abstract ideas. If your turkish eye represents good luck, that's its symbolism, but its symbolism has nothing to do with whether it actually brings luck or not.

I can decide that drawing a cross on my dick brings good luck, that would be the symbolism of it, but it says nothing about whether it works or not.

>this is bullshit and will at best make you feel better if you believe it.

This is called placebo. Or placebo effect. Placebo means "I like" in Latin, if memory serves, and is also a band that has some excellent songs sometimes.

One of their best:

https://youtu.be/e7bxXjQL3cY

Also one of the better videos out there.

>>38459941
>Those in the retarded class that are near literal geniuses
were you in that class? i've never heard of retarded geniuses.
there are savants that are exceptional in their respective fields, like rainman or that dude to drew all of london after taking a helicopter ride looking at the city for 30 min.
they were both highly dysfunctional people except in one niche field.

>>38459941
>How so? He respects my privacy as far as I am aware, I cannot prove anything. He just makes me paranoid enough that he could be doing such.

Fuck off, Coats. Not literally. He checks your phone, he lies to you, he reads your history, you're suspicious of him. What he does is illegal and you let him do it.

>$12 an hour. Comes out to about $700 a week after taxes.

OK, how much is the rent for apartments near where you are?

>If I knew how to ride one...

You can learn in a day. I told you how to.

>>38459941
>How on earth do I justify payment for that? I can't play video games freely, but have to follow a linear track that makes me miserable. Nobody can understand that outside of this thread Nick,

OCD is a recognise mental illness. Some people are supported for it because they can't do anything at all and can't even work. Your OCD also affects how you drink, maybe eat, and there's a lot more wrong with you due to abuse in your life.

You need to be saved. You are being made to waste your life. Right now, you could be living in a house with your fiancee, soon to be married and have joyous children. Instead, you're being cucked like a bitch, made to shit in bags and not have a kitchen, while serving some retarded plan to get an old woman's money.

Ever thought that the plan was bullshit to keep you away from him? He lied to you before, he always lies to you. And you believe him like a fucking idiot.

>>38459941
>If you work, you don't need help from the government. That simple as far as I am aware.

I bet your father says "That simple" fairly often. Governments help in many ways for many reasons. If you haven't researched it, then you don't know what you're entitled to.

>>38460089
>placebo
im pretty sure placebo doesnt extent outside of what your mind has influence over. as in the placebo effect wont help you win more at the lottery, to stick with the example of the turkish eye.

that song made me feel bad at first, then i got more into it. might listen more to them when it's not this late.

>>38459956

Show me yours, I'll show you mine.

>>38460049
>keep them as mind controlled slaves

Like your father keeps you? You're fucking hilarious Coats. The government will never be able to bitch you as hard and as thoroughly as your father does.

>>38460049
>You might as well say you are sending me to the butcher's to have my balls crushed.

Your father has your balls. Get them back whenever you become a man.

>Are you taffin me?

I don't even know that word. I have the gold edition. It doesn't come with a manual. I played once and didn't get the interest and never played again. Maybe you can teach me to enjoy the game.

>Somehow I just feel I will mess it up. I am not good in the physical world like I am on a computer. One of my biggest problems.

You use a keyboard right now. It has lots of buttons and you use it perfectly. A cooker has only 5 fucking buttons, and all you do is turn them so they are on the desired setting. If you don't fuck up typing posts here, you will be fine turning goddam buttons.

Your father messed you up something crazy.

>>38460263
>im pretty sure placebo doesnt extent outside of what your mind has influence over. as in the placebo effect wont help you win more at the lottery, to stick with the example of the turkish eye.

And what did I say? I quoted you saying "at best will make you feel better etc," and I said that was placebo. Placebo makes you feel better even if the thing does nothing in reality. Jesus...

The song now feels like it's about me helping fuckers who don't want to be helped, and that I should just say good-bye too. And leave you all.

Still looking for something special to do for #100. Maybe that'll be the last thread I ever make.

Opinions?

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>>38460265
Working on it.
Yours for this? >>38459660
Here is another I just took. Working on all of them. Will end up being a big dump. Very interested if there would be patterns

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>>38460343

I'll tell you which tests are good and which are not so good.

Those two are good.

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>>38460343

These results are from when I was doing badly.

>>38460303
>last thread
Pls no :(

I understand that you feel very unfulfilled with the responses after all the investment and thought you put into your posts. But venting really dose help, and for shut ins like myself this is one of the only places I can go and let go somewhat if my little bubble. That's just my take anyway, keeping in mind I've just scrambled random bits and pieces of myself in these threads.

>>38460303
>And what did I say?
suppose im feeling aggressive today.
placebo does actually have an effect in medicine. in some difficult to treat chronic conditions some studies are showing that the actual best treatment is to give patients placebo and actually tell them it's placebo. it's become so well known that the placebo effect works even though you know the pills you get doesnt actually do anything.

>>38460303
>Opinions?
well i've never been one to celebrate anything, most of the time it just feels like a hassle. if you end it it'll surely be missed. though i suppose it would make troll-anon happy.

>>38460423

One is all it takes. Besides, if I stopped the thread, it would go on without me. All the other regulars would open it night after night, as they did when I stopped making it myself.

Maybe I'll have a strawpoll about it next thread.

Another idea was doing an AMA with LO.

COATS

Before I forget: if your father is such a white supremacist, can you explain why his son is a fat Abraham Lincoln (liberator of blacks) and not a Greek god, chiseled from stone? Why did he not train you to be a perfect Aryan warrior?

Mmh?

>>38460451
>though i suppose it would make troll-anon happy.

You're wrong.

>>38460451
>placebo does actually have an effect in medicine. in some difficult to treat chronic conditions some studies are showing that the actual best treatment is to give patients placebo and actually tell them it's placebo. it's become so well known that the placebo effect works even though you know the pills you get doesnt actually do anything.

But... That's what we call the placebo effect. You seem to be confusing the meaning of the word. Of course it works, just like the turkish eye bullshit will make you feel better if you believe in it. That's all it is, but it exists, the placebo effect.

Placebo pills are just sugar and nothing else, and it works because people were told they were something else.

>>38460507
>spoiler
im making up some massive behind the scenes scenario now.

an AMA with your LO would be fun, it could also stir up an unprecedented amount of shit. i'll make a point in checking in tomorrow to see what happens.

gotta sleep now.

>>38460566
>an AMA with your LO would be fun, it could also stir up an unprecedented amount of shit.

Indeed. She's not really up for it. She wouldn't be in the thread, not with fucktards like trollfag. I'd filter the question to her and post her responses here.

>>38460530
>and it works because people were told they were something else.
it apparently also works if you tell them it's just sugar.

it also works in a much more measurable way than that you feel better.

going to sleep for real now.

>>38460606
>it apparently also works if you tell them it's just sugar.

It's called homeopathy. Kek.

What happened to Dan and Facet? They were here and then suddenly, nothing.

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>>38460763
Seems dead. Here's another one. Working on 4 more. Ignored some - I'm heterosexual and know I'm not autistic

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Text is required to support picture

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>>38460853

Do them anyway, who knows, maybe you're a raging homosexual who collects stamps.

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I've taken this multiple times, it's never constant results

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>>38460869

Text is indeed mandatory. This board has retarded rules.

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>>38460885

It's the shittest.

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>>38460874
Will do then. Some traps are hot so who knows. Are the results for this one concerning?

https://youtu.be/A3F_5KoIaVg

This is for Coats. I've had it open for hours; I was waiting for him to get home before I could link it. But fuck it. Coats wants to remain his father's toy and I may not be able to change that.

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>>38460930

Yes.

I haven't even done that one test.

>>38458991
OH man I had forgotten about this, thanks!

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Not sure how the connection between emotional instability goes with BD

Trying to arrange a trip away. It's more hassle than it's worth, let alone the cost.

>>38461047
>emotional instability goes with BD

BPD is also known as "emotional instability disorder". Kek.

It does more than go with it, it IS it.

>>38459908
>Insane false reason
I am scared Nick. Very scared indeed. Morbidly petrified. I can't imagine life on my own Nick.

>Adult who is independent
I am a bastard product of a relationship based on incest and lies, grown up as a psychopath under narcissistic parents, and you think somehow I will get the capabilities to make it on my own?

>Alien ways
Indeed, I apologize Nick, I seem to have an urge to say more than I do indeed know. I just don't know how to handle these things.

>>38459927
>Generations
Apparently I used the wrong word choice. Not sure how to explain what I mean, decades perhaps it the best to fit here?

>>38459985
>And they obey me because I'm a credible authority
I still don't understand how people don't rebel. All I can imagine is people rebelling, fighting against a system that is not enforced. If a system exists without punishments, it is a terrible system indeed. I just don't see how someone who is blatantly fighting your authority can be curtailed without flexing your muscles.

>>38460040
>Probably has computers
I hope. I thought internet service was something provided for you as a luxury. Even if it is, you don't think they would block 4chan? Do you expect them to let you browse orange boards on a library computer?

Never been into a library or seen someone on a computer in Starbucks. I didn't know there were ways to get free internet.

>Exactly what I said
You said you were near me, I said you were not, you were on the other side of the world. A day away by plane is not close.

>>38460121
Exactly, now you get what I was trying to say, savants. How do you know I am not that?

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Here's the chess game I mentioned before. Apparently, it's called Battle Chess.

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Seems like I might have a stamp collection after all..

>>38461148

I have an OCD thing, I've just done it. Sometimes I "bet" on an event, like, "If I hold my breath until I find this image in my folder, then X or Z will happen," and then I take it very seriously. If I succeed, I feel like it's almost real, and if I fail, the same.

I've done that with a number of things, with whether thumbnails would open on my phone, after clicking on them once. Slow connection makes this fairly random. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it doesn't work.

>>38461156
Let me know if you care to play

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I hate this life, this society, this city, this damn bench, the bitter taste of cheap cigarettes.

We'll never make anything of ourselves, we struggle every day in the vain hope that we will hit it big someday, but that chance will never present itself, we're just fooling ourselves, damn idiots.
You're either born rich or you're never going to be.
I hate those rich brats, they have it all and they are still complaining about how unfair life is, they make up "problems" for themselves and get upset of how life is treating them bad.

They don't know how it feels to be knees deep in debt, they don't know how it feels to be ignored just because you don't have the status to make anything happen.

I wish it all would just end.