>The past won't let me live my life

>>38401151
That's why you need to let it go, honey. Good times are in your future, but they won't come easily. Please don't give up on yourself, and fight for your happiness.

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>it's another "a life of loneliness ensures you always remember your pain when in a group of strangers which ensures you can't connect to anyone and remain being lonely" episode.

>>38401222
i flunked college (britbong high school) and have been unemployed ever since, I used to go to job interviews and things but they basically all wanted to get rid of me the moment they saw me because I have no social skills, the job center never helped me or did their job properly, neither did many teachers, some refusing to talk to me or mark my work, just leaving me alone at the back of the class, I never transitioned from child to adult with lots of friends and parties, no one will give me the time of day because I don't say the right things and have weird creepy body language and no interest in pop culture, I can't fix these things because no one will socialize with me, I have ADHD-PI which has fucked my shit up but isn't serious enough to get me mental healthcare, I see normies playing rap music in their car and talking and shouting and things and it just bewilders me, if I attempt to socialise they instantly pick up on the fact I am different and the mood changes

I spent the last few months learning javascript and made some little programs and a website, I showed my dad and he immediately accused me of copying them from somewhere not making them myself and since then my motivation has dropped to zero, I thought maybe I could get obsessed with it like I get obsessed with video games then maybe get a qualification and a job but I can barely focus more than a little at a time, he has cancer and won't give me the details about it, since it keeps recurring, I can only assume it has metastasized and I will get some really bad news soon, I am absolutely horrified and wake up with a brain full of cortisol and feeling depressed, I am almost certain I will be homeless when he is gone

I am nearly 32

>>38401465
I still believe everything I said, okay? I'm glad you felt like you could tell me all of this. What you're going through is really difficult and at this moment I'm glad you're still here with us. I'm just a rando, but I think you should give Javascript another try. I'm sorry your dad couldn't be more supportive, but anon, you're doing these things for yourself. I'll be keeping you and your dad in my thoughts. Don't give up.

>>38401151
First question: are you still healthy?