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Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne 2017-07-15 07:35:29 Post No. 38392651
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Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne 2017-07-15 07:35:29 Post No. 38392651
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>HELLOOOOOOOO MAANITOOOOBAAAAA!!!!
>Great to see you all tonight.
>Sorey, to everyone for our late start.
[white males nod respectfully]
>My slave saw a cock and nearly crashed our car.
[crowd chuckles as the tension leaves the room]
>Could not help himself.
>Bad Slave! Am I right, or am I right?
>Turns out
>That freakish cock that nearly killed us
[Mistress T is clearly pleased with what she's about to reveal]
>Was the US President
[Crowd is riveted in high-spirited righteous laughter]
>I kid, I kid, Sorey to any YANKS in the crowd tonight.
>We really do appreciate you coming to our fair Canada.
>And not to be a debbiedowner but would you please leave your firearms and bombs at home please?
[Solemn affirmations ripple through the crowd with furtive clapping my the scattered Americans]
>Sorey, where were we?
>Take my cuck, Please!
[Old joke reassures the audience]
>Oh I love me some Manitoba, lemme tell ya
>In fact an older gentleman just bought me a chesterfield so long as I sent him a couple pairs of my runners.
>Very open minded people here.
>Oh, ya, so I just flew in from Vancouver and boy is my slave's wallet empty.
>Good thing the hosers a Canadian submissive, ya know?
>If he was American he'd surely die in the streets
[Restrained laughter]
>Bankruptcy is no fun in the states, no-sir-ee
>But I do like the FinDom, I do.
>Ladies, any ladies in here?
>C'mon we all do it, more or less.
>Financial Domination that is.
>I'm just very, very good at it.
>For instance, one time, I ordered a Saudi Prince to wire me $7400, Canadian, to a Tim Hortons at 3AM, just so I would poop onto my iPad while Facetiming him and his drunk brothers and cousins.
>That's my little contribution to the war on terror, eh?
[A triggered betacuck cries out, voice cracking on the immediate syllable, "Racist!"]
>>
>>38392651
>Racist, Eh?
[the crowd quiets as an inebriated negro suddenly hollers "white bitch!"]
>Now, hold on dont spill your Molson, Mickey
>I run an afterschool clinic for at urban youth at risk of sexual emergencies.
>If black cocks were poutine, I'd have gained 500 lbs from this past week alone.
[intellectuals cheer]
>Mmm, Black cocks.
>Why do Americans call it a "dick?" What even is that, a dick? Darndest thing, a dick. You dont have to say it much for it to lose all meaning. Just more Yankee gibberish, ya know. Gimee a Fat Juicy Cock!
>Its not just Americans that got cocks for leaders now. Us Canucks got more than our fair share! Shame on me for casting the first stone, but, sorey not sorey, am I right?
[Mistress T looks to a sheepish beta in the front row]
>You get me, right?
["y-y....y-yes-ss"]
>Aw, he's scared, everyone!
>I'm not gonna make those virile beastly Mandingos in the back rape your boy pussy in front of your date!
[wounded, the beta murmurs, "s-she's no-oot my date. thats my mom"
>Oh, that's his mother everyone. I guess they can't fuck then, no-no-no, can't have that. Mother and Son intimate relations, what a thing that'd be, eh? Can you imagine rushing to clear the dinner table and clean the dishes just so the family could lay down the tarp or patchwork of yoga mats and just go at it with eachother?
>Call me sick, but that's just organization more than anything,
>Maybe a bit of incest.
>But mainly a well run household that has made time for fucking.
>Goddess Bless, Canada!
[Mistress T looks to the Mother]
>Miss, you should definitely fuck him. Or better yet, spank him and make him eat his cum.
[Wooping and woooing echos affirmatively]
>>
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Mistress T's experimental comedy side is an acquired taste, but she's a big deal in Canada's underground comedy scene. She even mentions it on her blog in her 2017 NYE resolutions post.
I just wish there were videos of her performance.
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