Tired of being a retail wagecuck. Advice on how to get into accounting/computer

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"All those computers and certificates may seem nice, Champ, but nothing beats walking in there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Can't get any simpler than that."

>>38392576
Learn web programming. I went from making $30k/year to making $120k/year and my options just keep getting better.

>>38392631
I admire your dedication to handshake dad. Would you like to step into my office and we can work out a position for you?

>>38392633
elaborate please?

oreginaolol

>>38392633

I took a Web design class in high school but years of smoking pot made the education leave my brain. I'm considering putting down the pipe until I figure something out, I don't deserve to smoke anyways, I'm turning into a burnout desu

>>38392633
do you mean web dev ? is it good for a brainlet ?

>>38392677
OK. I left college with no job options and only a little background in programming. I took a job making $30k/year building and maintaining a friend's webpage. I studied relentlessly until I had turned that webpage into a full-blow web application, my friend awestruck and estatic the whole time. I then demanded a raise and he couldn't afford it, so I put my resume out there and my next job was $105k/year. I was so proud to be making six figures. I've been making slow but steady progress from there.

Everything you need to learn how to program, and do web programming in particular, is online. Look up node.js and Ruby on Rails. Learn more than one language and you'll be worth twice as much. All that time you spend smoking pot and playing video games could be spent winning the career game, or at least getting way ahead in it.

>>38392576
>I'd love to go to college, but I'm piss poor.
>no money for college.

You don't need money for college to go to college. The majority of people in college right now can't actually afford it themselves. Everyone applies for students loans, grants, and scholarships. There's serious hope for you if you have an idea of what you want to do as a career and really want to go to school anon.

If you still don't want to do that for some reason. My next bit of advice is to look around for any warehouse or labor jobs in your area. They generally pay more than minimum wage and most are entry level, or at least have such positions. Also If you see a job and you think its something you can do, and it does not require a degree, I'd apply anyway regardless of how many years experience they say they want.

>>38392974
I like this idea. I saw a few listings showing a few years experience needed but everything else I could do, talking on phones typing fast using spreadsheets yada yada.

Of course I have to stay at this place until I pay my debt off, but afterwards is when I need to get my ass seriously motivated. I like the other anon's suggestion of learning web design, I do love the internet and if I apply myself and quit the drugs, I may find a hidden skill for it. I'm already pretty damn good at making stupid retarded YTP videos with Sony Vegas, if I'm talented at that maybe I'm talented at web design too.

I heard that fat dude Boogie3000 from YouTube made good money designing web pages years ago, if he can do it there's really no reason I can't learn.