Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne

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Anonymous
Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne 2017-07-15 06:26:20 Post No.
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Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:26:20 Post No. [Report]

>HEELOOOO MAANITOOOBAAAA!
[Bored, polite audience barely stirs, but for some jive from the dark corner.]
>Sorey everybody we started a few minutes late
[white males nod respectfully]
>My slave saw a cock and nearly crashed the car
[crowd chuckles, tension lowering right before she drops the bomb]
>Turns out it was just the US President
[Paroxysms of enlightened ecstasy rivet the nerves of all in attendance and everyone howls forth in devoted righteous laughter]
>I kid, I kid, sorey to any yanks in the crowd tonight. We really do appreciate you coming to Canada, and sorey to be a debbiedowner but just would you please leave all the guns and callousness towards the poor at home please?
[Solemn affirmations ripple through the crowd with furtive claps from the scattered Americans]
>Sorey, where were we?
>Oh ya, I just flew in from Vancouver and boy is my slave's wallet empty. Good thing he's a Canadian, eh? If he was American he'd just die in the streets.
[Hearty righteous laughter continues to build]
>Bankruptcy is no good in the states, no-sir-ee.
>But I like the Findom I do, I do. Ladies, c'mon. We all do it, more or less. I just made it into a Fetish. You know I once had a Saudi Prince wire me $45,000, Canadian, to a Tim Hortons at 3AM, just so I would poop onto my iPad while FaceTiming it. That's my little contribution to the war on terror, eh?
[from somewhere in the crowd, "Racist!"]

Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:29:39 Post No.38382521
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:29:39 Post No.38382521 [Report]

What on God's green earth possessed you to create this thread?

Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:47:18 Post No.38382769
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:47:18 Post No.38382769 [Report]

>>38382467

>"Racist!?" Racist, Eh?
[uproar is subsiding]
>I'll tell you what, if black cock was poutine, I'd have gained 500 lbs in the past few weeks. So, there's that.
[glorious approval shakes the stadium up to the upper rafters]
>Why do Americans call it a "dick?" What even is that, a dick? Darndest thing, a dick. You dont have to say it much for it to lose all meaning. Just more Yankee gibberish, ya know. Gimee a Fat Juicy Cock!
>Its not just Americans that got cocks for leaders now. Us Canucks got more than our fair share! Shame on me for casting the first stone, but, sorey not sorey, am I right?
[Mistress T looks to a sheepish beta in the front row]
>You get me, right?
["y-y....y-yes-ss"]
>Aw, he's scared, everyone!
>I'm not gonna make those virile beastly Mandingos in the back rape your boy pussy in front of your date!

Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:56:41 Post No.38382901
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:56:41 Post No.38382901 [Report]

I read through the entire dialogue, enjoyed the sarcastic stabs at different things, and appreciate your effort.

Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:57:32 Post No.38382914
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:57:32 Post No.38382914 [Report]

>>38382769

[wounded, the beta murmurs, "s-she's no-oot my date. thats my mom"
>Oh, that's his mother everyone. I guess they can't fuck then, no-no-no, can't have that. Mother and Son intimate relations, what a thing that'd be, eh? Can you imagine rushing to clear the dinner table and clean the dishes just so the family could lay down the tarp or patchwork of yoga mats and just go at it with eachother?
>Call me sick, but that's just organization more than anything, maybe a bit of incest.
[Mistress T looks to the Mother]
>Miss, you should definitely fuck him. Or better yet, spank him and make him eat his cum.
[Wooping and woooing echos affirmatively]

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:00:40 Post No.38382961
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:00:40 Post No.38382961 [Report]

>>38382467
i have not heard of her but thanks for making me hate her

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:01:13 Post No.38382966
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:01:13 Post No.38382966 [Report]

holy shit dude why are you doing this

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:03:20 Post No.38383008
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:03:20 Post No.38383008 [Report]

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Kek fucking what is this thread?

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:08:37 Post No.38383095
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:08:37 Post No.38383095 [Report]

>The absolute state of female "comedians"

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:09:00 Post No.38383101
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:09:00 Post No.38383101 [Report]

>>38382467
>>38382769
>>38382914
Pretty funny stuff. Thanks for taking the time to make me smile.

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:10:52 Post No.38383127
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:10:52 Post No.38383127 [Report]

WOOOOOOOOOO
OC FOR ME BY MRS T

Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:23:03 Post No.38383282
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Anonymous 2017-07-15 07:23:03 Post No.38383282 [Report]

>>38382914

>I kid, though. Sorey, mom! Be sure to help yourself to one of those hung Mandingoes though, eh?
[Clapping and mirth settle the riled crowd]
>We're pretty open minded in Canada, wouldn't ya say?
>Not like those boring Bible Thumpers down south.
>I'm sorey but why import all this diversity if you can't fuck it's brains out?
[Crowd cheers as if delivered]
>Id like to eat more than beavertails.
>I will say though, the most - cover your ears children -
[School groups seated together cover their ears in separate unison]
>THE most fucked up requests I get by far are from Gentlemen of Color.
>Although they pay me big bucks. BIG BUCKS!
>Haha, get it?
[Groans and laughter]
>They pay me big bucks just to be racist to them.
>I should just tell em to save their loonies and drive south until you see the stars and bars!