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So a little over 5 months ago, someone whom I'd liked on and off for years found out about my feelings for them. Very quickly, like half of the school knew. I overheard talk of a surprise, though, so I didn't stay upset for too long. It was supposed to be on Valentine's day, I believe, but I missed it. I thought people were under the impression that I did it on purpose,and I was in denial about it having happened, so I made a post to Facebook pretending not to know what went on. I saw people who had noticeably tensed up show their phones to others and change to looks of relief. Later that day, I fucked up and posted again to Facebook, this time aggressively doing what thought was calling out people for assuming that I missed it on purpose. I deleted it fairly quickly. I feel really bad about it now.
I didn't go to school for the next couple of days because I knew I let people down and was a coward. At some point, I saw a post to 4chan that I though was theirs, so I responded to it and continued responding to some of the posts that I thought were theirs. I kept this up for several days, getting multiple cues that I really was responding to the person. I got super paranoid and bitchy towards the end because I was just so tired of trying to identify their posts. Whenever I brought up things to people I was fairly sure were involved, though, they acted as if nothing happened at all--even the person who I had overheard talking about me liking my crush and the surprise. (There was also a guy who passive-aggressively liked all of my posts and shared one of them that had to do with me trying to fix the situation.) I was so lost and scared. I now know that I lost about 15 pounds stressing over this.
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I ended up basically getting tricked into going to a mental hospital. There, I stabilized a significant amount, and eventually wrote an explanation/apology letter to the person I like (9 pages, of course, lol). I pressured my parents into giving it to them, but it had to be through the parents. Part of the agreement my dad had made was that they would give the letter back, but they never did. I'm not sure if it was because they wanted to keep it or because they forgot and threw it out.
I had one or two text conversations with them during my passes from the psych ward. They didn't pertain to the letter but things seemed relatively normal. I had another text conversation with them after getting out. Things seemed normal again, save for the awkward part where I asked them if they had any new fetishes and they didn't text me back. (It wasn't totally awful because we'd talked about sexual stuff tons before. They had also mentioned BDSM, so it wasn't out of the blue.) I still didn't know what they thought of the letter, so I finally asked them last night when one of my friends was over (which gave me courage). They said that they thought I wrote it in a state of delusion, but didn't elaborate any further because they hadn't read it in a while. I said that I agreed, but didn't know how much I was deluded about. They said that they were going to the city, so another time would be better. They then apologized and called me "honey". (That made me very happy, even though I knew I wasn't the only one they called "honey".) I told her something along the lines of "No, that's fine. Have fun!". I haven't gotten any further information.
How long should I wait to ask for further info?
Side note: My psychiatrist suspected the I may have schizoaffective disorder, so idk how much I can trust my own perceptions.
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Are you a girl?
Only a stupid fucking girl would flip out over stupid innane shit like this.
>that 15 pound weight gain
ahaha, good
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