Confessions

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How unfortunate. I'll start,
I do hard drugs to feel normal.
Not so special, right?
Well let me explain. I have a girlfriend, we are in love, have a healthy sex life, and we're happy, nothing fake even in the slightest.
We're both pretty introverted, we're logical, and we're both pretty rebellious.
We met when I was trying to reconnect with old friends that i'd been separated from over the years at school
Happened to be her best friend.
She was (and is) shy, adorable, our kinks matched, she wanted to be dominated and pounded, i was into dominating,
But. I don't feel things. I'm not a sociopath, because i feel empathy. I just can't feel normal human emotions.
I Made out with my ex and came close to banging
I trip at home to experience normal emotions through watching other people enjoy themselves.
I'm not a cuck. Don't get me wrong, there are at least a few dudes i've fucked up because of something they did regarding her
This kid johnny, at the end of gym class where we go back to the locker room, johnnys slow as shit so i walk behind him
Right when the last other person passes the door i grab him
He's short as shit from shooting meth or whatever so it's easy
He'd said earlier 'Oh you're dating (her name)? Damn she got a FINE assss"
slammed his head into the plexiglass several times before showing him a picture of her and walking away
This kid that was in rotc was stalking her on fb and sending her creepy messages after being told to stop
Saw him in the hallway and slammed his head into a water fountain and walking away.
Hell, I even used /b/ to coordinate harrassment towards the ho i made out with to get her to kill herself all because she tried to fight my wifey.
I don't really know what else to say.