"Chaaaaaamp, did you remember to follow up with those places

>>38358315
It's not that easy, dad. The manager refused to see me. The person at the counter just told me to apply online. I'm probably just in a big digital queue now with other people who are more experienced then me.

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>>38358342
Stalling and pretend to submit online applications, powerful agents to the uninitiated. But you're still going to show up, speak with the manager, and give him a firm handshake, Champ.

>>38358377
I got rejected from three different KFCs, dad. They want experienced people, not a handshake. They dont have time to train me. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME ANYMORE

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>>38358488
Get started on the application process, Shinji.

>>38358520
I'm writing a cover letter to another place as we're posting, but I can promise you I won't get a response, dad.

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>>38358583
It doesn't matter how well-crafted your cover letters are; what matters is the firmness of your handshake.

>>38358609
I fucking hate boomers.

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>tfw my dad's advice for applying was to go to every business within 4 miles in person and give them my resume.
Did this actually work in the late 80s when he last applied for a job or something?

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>>38358681
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame other people for your problems or you can get your head in the game and dig yourself out of this mess like a man. Walk in there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. That's all it takes, Champ."

>>38358720
I've been doing this the past fortnight and it hasn't worked. I even offer to work for free trial basis but it all falls on deaf ears.

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>>38358765
"Did you remember to shake the manager's hand, Champ? You usually all it takes. Just go in there and ask for him. Then speak with him, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you're the right man for the job. It's that simple, Champ."

why is Anderson cooper telling me to give men handshakes? is this some gay sex initiation?

>>38358720
Yeah the world used to be a lot simpler

I silently infiltrated the Specisl Forces base and forced the commander to shake my hand. When do I get the job?

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>>38358878
"Champ, only quitters make excuses -- and I certainly didn't raise my boy to be a quitter. Now march back in there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. It's that easy, Champ."

is this meme being forced by like one dude who found a stock photo of "white dad" or have i missed a step here

this thread reminds me of when some autist tried to force the "simon" meme and had like 100 various memetic mutations of his shitty mspaint meme and after a few goes the threads were literally just him dumping all of his worthless images to an audience of only himself

>>38358315

Remember, if you want to apply for this year's training classes to become an Air Traffic Controller, you have less than 24 hours to get your application in.

https://www.faa.gov/jobs/career_fields/aviation_careers/

* You need 4 years of post high-school education, or work, or a combination of both.
* You need to be under 30

If you qualify
*They'll pay to transport you to the training center.
* They'll pay you a stipend while you are undergoing the free training.
* You'll likely flunk out, but if you make it, you'll be making over $100k a year, with forced early retirement with a pension.

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>>38359014
"Champ, there's nothing about your attitude that can't be fixed with a honest day's work. Walk in there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. Come on. Why the gloomy face? It's that easy, Champ."

>tfw walked into a mom and pop store, gave boomer boss firm handshake, and got employed

SUCK IT CORPORATE FAGS

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>>38359068
"The handshake will be with you, Champ. Always."

>>38359028

Oh BTW, continually ranked just about the #1 most stressful job there is, with high number of suicides

>>38359157
Can't be any more suicidal than being a dentist.

Daddy its too hard i dont wanna try anymore reeee

>>38359039
>>38359014

yeah this is pretty much what i figured
have fun with your forced meme, its pretty easy to accomplish this sort of thing on /r9k/ because people here are so desperate for non-boipussy threads that they'll eat it up

>>38359068
HOW HOW HOW. Fuck this shit, I'm only going to small businesses owned by boomers now

>>38359157
>stressful job

Stressful for normies, who care about other people. I suspect many people on here could just view it as a slightly boring video game they they get paid a lot of money for playing. If you forgot those dots are holding people, things might become easier.

>high number of suicides

Everyone on here is slowly killing themselves one way or another. Mostly through apathy and stagnation.

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>>38359210
"Champ, getting a job is part of growing up. And it's easier than you think. I'm driving you tomorrow, and we won't stop until someone hires you right on the spot. It's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job."

>>38358315
I literally walked into a place and got a job on the spot with no prior employment. What the fuck is wrong with you people.

>>38359068
Yeah I did that too but I am stuck making 9 dollars an hour working 29 hours a week.

Living in mommie's basement

>>38359300
autism


originally firm handshakes

>>38358720
It worked as late as the early '00s. I got my first real job in 2004, by walking in the door of a store and talking to the manager for 10 minutes, and it was even a job that paid well for entry-level (about $2 an hour more than minimum) and had good hours.

Shit's all fucked now though, I'm just coming out of two years of unemployment and couldn't even get big box stores to call me back despite being more than qualified for a management position.

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>>38358315
I honestly Dont think ive ever seen such a beautiful meme

>>38359317
>>38359068
>working inside
>not working landscaping or construction
>work out in the sun, get a sick tan
>get natty gains from constant work
>pay much higher than minimum wage
>good hours


I work about 40 hours a week making $13 an hour and I'm basically chad now, I even chaddrive to work every day so you motherfuckers need to get on my level and get a firm landscape


also I got the job by firmly shaking the hand of the company owner no memes

>>38358315
>tfw dad wants me to be a socially and professionally crippled loser so I can remain his little slave

>>38359325
it's because hiring (esp. for big companies) is fully online now

it's removed the part of the hiring process that was luck/initiative-based, where you could land a job by basically being the first person to show up and demonstrate that you wanted the job bad enough. now that everything is run on the internet, HR people can sit back and wait for the exact candidate they want, rather than just some dingus who knocks down the door with his unnaturally firm hands

>>38359254
I briefly trained as a nurse before rage quitting and I really did view the patients as npcs.

>>38359390
Just like roasties and tinder.

>>38358720

In the 1970's, there was a recession, but there were still lots of jobs. Things weren't automated in offices, so you had armies of typists and filing clerks formatting letters, and keeping records.

A tutorial video from 1971 on how to apply for a job: https://archive.org/details/applyingforajob

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ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHOW UP, TALK TO THE MANAGER, AND SHAKE HIS DAMN HAND, CJ.

>>38359396

So did I. Not the NPC part. Seems this board attracts alot of medical and emergency services.

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TO GET A GOOD JOB YOU MUST SHOW UP
THEN YOU MUST SPEAK WITH MANAGER AND SHAKE THE HAND
SHAKE THE HAND

>>38358315
>Be le smart but lazy redpill'd robot
>spend 1 hour a week doing an online application that you never follow up on
>have absolutely no valuable skills
>make zero effort to learn valuable skills
>Spend all day sitting in your bedroom Shitposting, playing vidya, and using weed and/or booze
>spend exponentially more time bitching about the job market than you do actually looking for work
>When anyone confronts you about your lazy hypocrisy you make vague excuses about "tiredness" or "they wouldn't hire me anyways"

Real talk I just described everyone in these threads, right?

>apply for job at valvoline
>answer the personality questions honestly
>get to the end
>sorry, it seems your personality is not a match for this position. you can apply again in 6 months.
>RRREEEEEEEEE

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I've been off work for a few weeks due to sickness, and my dad keeps telling me to go into work, anyway.

I try telling him that my doctor says I am not fit for work, and my work themselves have not told me to come in.

He then said I should go in and "talk to them". I ask him what I should talk to them about, and he said "about getting you back to work". I'm like ffs dad I'm getting sick pay for this. They don't want me back, and I'm not fit to go back yet.

He then started saying that they've probably replaced me at work. And I'm like ffs dad I don't give a shit they hate me anyway.

He's a fucking idiot. He even pulled the firm handshake meme on me when I was first looking for a job. No matter how many times I told him that it's all online now, he wouldn't listen. The bastard took me into town every day and made me go into every business and hand in my fucking resume and shake their hand.

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>>38360332
"Champ, only quitters make excuses like that -- and I didn't raise a quitter. Now you march back in there, give your manager a firm handshake, and report back for work."

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>>38360322
"Champ, persistence pays off. We'll simply try somewhere else. Show up, speak with the manager, hand him your resume, and give him a firm handshake. What've you got to lose?"

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>>38360780
>What've you got to lose?
my confidence and pride

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>>38360852
"And the best way to get it back is to get a job. To do that, all you've gotta do is speak with the manager, hand him your resume, and give him a firm handshake. Easy-peasy, Champ-a-roony."

>>38361026
How many days after submitting my application should i call, boomeranon? Should I even call?

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>>38361311
"Those Internet and voice messenger things are nice, but the only way you can get a firm handshake is in person, Champ."

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>>38358377
Is it okay if I give the manager a handjob for extra credit?

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Uhhhhhh, you don't get to apply in store.

>>38361858
S-sir I am here to give you a firm handshake. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

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>>38358315
Serious question now, does talking to a manager in person make a difference if you are applying for engineering jobs?

I've spend the past 14 months pumping out 700+ applications and I've gotten 10 interviews tops.

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>>38361933
"All those pieces of paper and trinkets look nice, Champ, but nothing beats showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him why you're the right man for the job."

>>38362012
What do I do when they tell me they are looking for experienced engineers and not fresh grads?

The worst about this, the boomers really believe this bullshit. Because this is how easy they had it. Before they completely wrecked it all.

>>38361933
It works, plain and simple, yes.

They get sent hundreds upon hundreds of applications but nothing speaks louder than initiative and impressions are best made in person.

Despite the 'le ebin irony' nature of the OP posts, that attitude gets you places. And what's the harm? You get regected anyway? That was always gonna be the outcome whether or not you made the extra effort; at least you left the house with a motive.

>>38362179
I don't see the harm in trying, I was curious if it will actually help. I can't help but imagine just getting turned down at every company by being told to go online and apply.

I also heard that you should mail them an 8x11 envelope with a letter basically stroking their ego and how you'll help them solve all their problems. Yet I'm a fresh graduate, I literally don't know how I'd "solve their problems" aside the typical "I'll work really hard and I'm a fast learner".

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>>38361933
>he fell for the engineering meme

Nobody builds things anymore dummy

Oh boy another forced meme

>>38358720
basically they don't want social retards, this is what ive observed

>>38358765
Don't fucking do that, jackass. If you'll work for free, why do they have to pay a regular dumbshit?

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>>38362065
>>38362122
>>38362554

"Champ, you could either sit there and blame others for your problems or man up and take the first step towards solving them. And all you've gotta do is show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. Four simple steps, Champ! I didn't raise a quitter."

I wish my dad were around to teach me how to shake hands.

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>>38362179
>that attitude gets you places. And what's the harm?

"Exactly. It's all a matter of being there, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and showing that they're the best guy for the job. Simple as that."

>>38362725
Cool irony bro, there's a lot of truth in it though.

I had to drink 4 shots to get the courage to enter the workplace of the first job that broke me out of NEETdom, but it worked. I had no experience, but I went back 2 times. They admitted to not having read my application, but I was as to speak to the boss and we had a joke or two, and that was enough to get me a trial shift.

If you can show you're comfortable around them, they'll be comfortable having you in their workplace. Spam at me all the bullshit inronkc shit posting bullshit you have, but there is truth in what you're parodying.

>>38362413
I think it will help, yes. Even if it gives you a singular 1% advantage, I believe you'll be better off because of it.

Many big companies want to be sure you can increase their profit and productivity, but ultimately the most important thing is how you can contribute to the team dynamic. If you can be a boon for the team, that's better than a checklist of improvements you can promise.

>>38361925
>Not the easy way, or the firm way

hey dad, I've got really weak and tiny hands so no matter how hard I try my handshake is never firm enough. What do I do?

>>38358720
oh shit, my mom told me to do that too when I refused to go to college
it's like they're from another planet

But daddy, I already have a job, it pays well too, I just don't want to move out.

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>>38363253
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame others for your problems or man up and solve them. And all you've gotta do is show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. Simple as that, Champ!"