BPD Borderline Personaility Disorder

Ignored, like always

>>38350339
then share your own story first lazy faggot

>>38350422
Why bother? Typing it all out and wasting my time since no one cares

I've always been alone and had what i thought was abandonment issues. My father was a raging and abusive alcoholic and my mother was a mentally abusive schizo. Most of my childhood I was busy crying, alone and because of that no one ever wanted to be my friend. I grew up socially stunted and had no friends and no one to talk too.

I have a hard time telling what is/isn't reality sometimes, almost like I'm in a dream. I get incredibly sad whenever I'm alone and I tend to group people into "black and white" categories.

Borderline is a joke and psychiatric meme.
It does exist as an excuse to fill a gap between normies and real ones with mental problems. Most of the time it's normies tho they like to cry over shit and find excuses to their failures in life. Fuck off normie.

>>38350573
Normies have gf's, cars, great jobs, deplomays and great family's right?

I've never had a partner, my car is a piece of shit, I currently have no job, I have to drop out of college soon because of my retardation and my family sees me as the failure I am.

Fuck off faggot

>>38350627
And now after all you found your excuses in some old meme what isn't even real good job loser. Borderline is a line of a shit ton of mental and organic issues when it's easy just call a mess with one word than actually try to solve a bunch of problem which are hard to find and resolve after all. A good doctor just mark you with that old and obsolete diagnose just to you to deal with it with less brainfuck, and your fucking problems even can be just some simple shit with no connection to mental issues you pleb barbarian burger eaters with no IQ and education. Keep this borderline illusion in your mouth if you feel it makes your life easy fagget.

>>38350190
Got diagnosed with it like 15 months ago

>>38350753
>pleb barbarian burger eater

Now I know you're actually retarded, keep being ignorant dumbass.

Everytime BSD gets mentioned on 4chan, it turns into a shitflinging contest. BSD people let themselves get trolled waaaaaay to easily.

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>have borderline mom
There are no words to describe this hell. I wanted to say something more, but words really fail me.

>>38350768
How did you go into it? Do you just set up a appointment with a doctor or with a psychologist?

>>38350870
Care to explain a little?

>>38350923
I was in a mental hospital for my social anxiety and depression
They diagnosed me there

>>38350627

Nice, you define your self worth based on superficial notions and material possesions, exactly the same as a normie.

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Some guy in in my classes has BPD but does nothing about it, and only complains, he constantly harasses people and blames it on this manipulative disorder, honestly I cant stand him and neither can anyone else, it's just used as some get out of jail free card and its not fair because no one can call him out on his bullshit, sometimes people do and he immediately acts proper and well behaved and gives answers that totally bother him but let him scrape by further. I hope he becomes successful so I don't have to see him at any fast food place I go to.

That being said, I'm sure hes emotionally fucked up and traumatized and I do feel bad for the fuckin guy sometimes, its just super hard to feel any sympathy towards someone who acts that way.

>>38350950
Ah I see, I want to talk to a doctor about it but I'm too embarrassed and autistic to setup anything, or to even go to the hospital.

>>38350966
I was giving a example of what a normie has in comparison.

>>38351010
Don't see why someone would abusive their disorder or like that but I guess people like that exist. If he's being rude like that I wouldn't even feel remorse for him.

>>38350923
I mean, it's basically self explanatory. In a lot of areas she's the textbook definition of certain symptoms. For instance, talking with her at all or even being in her presence, you're always walking on eggshells because she goes berserk at the drop of a hat over the tiniest things, and remains that way for several hours, sometimes even days.

Her behavior is sometimes impulsive and/or incredibly unwise, and it pains you because even though she can be a piece of shit, she's still your mom, and she hurts herself or puts herself at a huge amount of risk. In my teens she used to drive drunk at night in her romps to go fuck whoever was her latest guy friend, and while she's stopped drunk driving and falling down stairs drunk, now she smokes. The worst part is because of how volatile she is, it's impossible to confront her about her behavior, how dangerous it is to her, and how it pains those around her without her screaming at you or insulting you.

She was/is delusional about a ton of stuff that I won't go into, and as a result of lashing out/wanting to hurt people she's told blatant lies that anyone who took a closer glance at could see through. She called the police on my father multiple times for literally fucking doing nothing because she was pissed about an argument or something claiming she was being abused or was about to and that she "didn't feel safe" while putting on her best shaky voice.

She's also attempted suicide at least once, probably more.

The only silver lining is that when my parents divorced my dad got custody of my siblings because it was truly ridiculous to all parties involved.

There's more stuff but I'd be here all day and I'm already pretty worked up.

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what motivates people with BPD to be so retarded?

real question, no memes I want to understand the underlying thought processes behind hurting people you love

>>38351083

And then you started ranting about your shitty car and nogf. A very normie thing to do.

>>38351137
Don't hurt his feels he already believes in anything docs say or written on wiki.

>>38351130
Sorry to hear anon, sounds very similiar to my mother so I can understand. Hopefully it gets all work out.

>>38351136
Wish I knew desu. I believe it's complete mental breakdowns where whats right is wrong and whats wrong is right etc.

>>38351137
Ranting? Where in my post did I rant about shitty car? I mentioned it once and said nothing more. You're twisting words around, a very normie thing to do.

>>38351209
Wahhh my feeelings are hurt :( stop being a bully!

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i got diagnosed over a year ago but i'm pretty sure it's been there forever. Anti depressants don't work so my doctor has just given me a fuckton of xanax and clonazepam for when I get angry and sad respectively.

Episodes are usually two times a week with it most of it being a tossup between apathy and anxiety but when the anger comes it's fucking scary. I've seen a video of myself and it just wasn't me at all, just pure unfettered anger and hatred in my eyes.

Relationships aren't too bad for me, I have a small group of friends and I'm okay with that. But most people I'll just start off talking to very enthusiastically and then just... stop. I've unintentionally distanced myself from random family members and I hate it, but there is no ill feelings between us.

Idk dude it's shit honestly, you're just completely fine until you're not and then it's just like fuck. I'll binge eat every now and again but that's okay (it's fun) because I'll just not eat for a day or two to even out the consumption.

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I wasn't always this way. When did the darkness consume me?

>>38350753
>>38350573

>The only knowledge I have of Borderline Personality Disorder is the name.

The post.

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>>38351291
oh yeah I'm also manifesting paranoid schizo symptoms (runs in the family) which makes it harder to maintain the few relationships I have.

I take seroquel and zyprexa for that, actually helps though which is nice

>>38351291
>>38351363
I want to try to stick off med best I can, I definitely agree with the episodes you describe. Hope you feel better anon.

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>>38351402
Try them sooner than later, sometimes you'll find something that works and manages everything really well, sometimes you won't. But the longer you wait the worse the symptoms become and the harder it is for meds to help.

>>38350950
How fucked are you?

It would be some shit if I go to a therapist and they spill it on me that I'm more than just originally autistic. Scary prospects...

>>38351482
not who you replied to, therapists can't diagnose you with anything as they are not liscensed medical practitioners, they can just form opinions or ideas about what you might be suffering from. Only a psychiatrist can formally diagnose and prescribe medication

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>have BDP
>people call me a dangerous femme fatale
>feel as though I'm actually more vulnerable and fragile than anyone

>>38351520
Well them

I don't think I'm THAT fucked. Inferiority complex from not fitting into the successful normie world, bad upbringing cause father is deadbeat, no real connection with family thus heritage, I don't fit in anywhere and only by luck have I been blessed with friends.
Idk if extremely lazy or there's something wrong with me. When I'm not degenerate, I can be pretty fucking productive and strive towards self improvement by helping others, exercising, all that bullshit.
But at my core, ik I'm trash and just wanna stay home in my cave and die.

>>38351647

answer this post please >>38351136

>>38351647
That's typically how it goes

What's the most fucked thing you did?

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>>38351647

Hey I'm BPD too. :) this is a BPD thread.

You know the rule.
Tit's or GTFO.

Here's a very good explanation as to why.
The problem isn't that you're a woman.
It's that you had to try to derail the thread by drawing attention to the fact that you are a woman on an egalitarian anonymous message board.

>>38351736
I ghosted my fiance (we'd been together for two years) in 2013 because I fell in love with someone else and ignored all the distraught messages he sent me
One day I was being as loving as ever, the next I was gone and never spoke to him again
I would never do anything like that again though
I was 22, I was young and cruel
I've thought about becoming friends with him again, but I don't know if he would want to hear from me.

>>38351735
there's no "why." our brains are just abnormal. Though I feel as though my pre-trauma self was much more normal.

my wife has this. it's the most horrible shit ever. she has episodes which involve mostly screaming and suicide attempts. sometimes she makes plans... says she's gonna turn everything around, then 10 minutes later she's sulking because her life is horrible. she never leaves the house, never does anything.

all because of some fuck that molested her when she was 6.

>>38352006
by the way the only useful thing i can say is that after reading tons of book on this condition i can safely say that SSRIs do not fucking work.

therapy does but unfortunately borderlines don't stick to anything and will most likely drop it because they don't see immediate results and their black and white goggles will tell them that it's pointless.

I think my mom has it. She's made my life and my dad's life a living hell. I absolutely despise her.

Which makes me absolutely hate everybody with this condition. This includes all of you. Don't breed. Ever.

Isn't borderline personality just normalfag shit
like oh i am sad i'll go have sex

>>38352073
>>38351921 speaking
I want to pop out babies, sorry
I believe in myself
I can change.

>>38351010
>guy
>BPD

fuck off Norman.
BPD is another word for a psychotic female

>>38352149
>anon
>retard

Boys and girls have equal chance senpai

>>38350870
Me too. It's the worst, I don't wish this hell on anyone.
>tfw probably have it too
>tfw want to have a kid but it would be a crime against humanity

>>38352115
Pretty much

I don't know why I'm so attracted to girls with bpd. I think it's because I've been C U C K E E by this girl who truly liked me but her bpd caused her to go savage mode on me and leave me for Chad.

My only advice: be chad. That way, girls come to you and they'll think twice before leaving you.

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My girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder. We've been dating for about a month.
She's... really, heartmeltingly sweet, actually. Today alone she's told me that I'm the only one who understands her, that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her, and that she wants to be "together forever."

>>38350870
lel my mommy was borderline too

was fun!

>>38352121
dont worry anon, /r9k/ will still exist for years for your kids to have something to do before they kill themselves

>>38352319
They are extremely clingy. If you ever even smile at another girl she might stab you in your sleep.

>>38350508
sounds like BPD to me

BPD is the crazy girlfriend of the mental health world

however i'm sorry that you have to live with it, friend

Can we start a group or something? IRC? discord? I don't know where I can speak to other borderlines.

>>38352522
IRC sucks, Discord pls.

>>38352578
Found one, might as well all group up rather than have our own chat with 2 people.

discord slash xBbZxsx

>>38351291
>just start off talking to very enthusiastically and then just... stop
>you're just completely fine until you're not and then it's just like fuck
I'm a non but I'm not good with regulating my emotions at all. But either way I find relief with how perfectly you've described how shit feels.

>>38351696
>How fucked are you?
I have no idea how to respond to that
Do you want like a 1-10/10

>>38352985
Yea

Oralia

as someone who has fallen victim to a girl with BPD, fuck all of y'all. nobody deserves getting into a relationship with someone who has BPD. you all disgust me. you shouldn't be allowed to roam freely. LOCK THEM UP.

>>38350190
Severe fucking BPD due to multiple sexual assaults, completely destroyed my past relationship, surprised he stayed with me for the two years he did. Dependent, jealous, and completely insane.

Got script for benzos for treatment, made BPD 8 x worse, experienced crazy withdrawals. Everything always seemed like the worst or the best, and as for my ex, I always loved him like no one could or I hated him more than anyone could imagine.

When I cleaned up, BPD slowly became less and less until eventually all my emotions just disappeared.

Hopefully it gets better for you anon. I am now in a new relationship and I will act so horrible ever again. Its disgusting that I acted that way before and I look back and I have no idea why I had the thoughts and feelings I did, but I am sure glad they're gone

>>38353335
This is really really true, I would never wish upon anyone the fucking hell I created for my family, but BPD symptoms happen due to things that people can't control sometimes.

However, you are sort of right about locking them up, shit can be scary.

I was locked up in the hospital till I got better and although it sucked I'm happy. I didn't wanna hurt anyone anymore.

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>>38353335
That's true senpai.

They truly are cancer and bring nothing but misery to those around them

>>38351921
I once dated this really sweet loving girl and I'd never felt so strongly about anyone, but suddenly one morning I just couldn't bring myself to text her, she showed up at my door after a couple weeks of ghosting but I didn't open, I just sat in front of the door listening to her sobbing

I didn't even care anymore

How can things change so quickly

>>38352319
prepare yourself for the ghosting

>>38352319
Then one day out of nowhere she'll rage and bitch at you for something you said. She'll probably say you're the worst boyfriend and wants to break up with you

>>38354085
reading that makes me want to die even more

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>>38354533
It gets worse my man

>>38351136
For me, it's all because I'm scared everyone's going to leave me anyway. I push them away and play with them because I'm scared they are doing the same to me. At the same time, I have no sense of boundaries, and that goes both ways. I'm very vulnerable and easily manipulated myself and I feel like it's my only way of protecting myself from being abused or mistreated. The closer I get to someone, the more power they hold over me, and the more scared and panicked I become.

It's all self-fulfilling of course because no one wants to be around someone like me. If they don't leave me because of my shit personality, they'll either leave me because I'm fucking crazy, or because I treat them horribly.

>>38350190
>Borderline
fuck off normie

ITT: people with PTSD misdiagnosed as having BPD

People who actually have personality disorders either are so lacking in self-awareness that they don't think anything is wrong with them, or they wear the disorder like a badge to further manipulate and/or garner sympathy.

>>38351136
I had a girlfriend once and it literally didn't occur to me that she had feelings for me. I broke up with her because I was sure she would hurt me at some point, all I've ever known was people I cared for hurting me.

>>38354966
That's the thing. Everyone with BPD seems to have undergone some sort of trauma but I'm just like this. I don't know what to do about it. I can't make people stay, and I descend into chaos even more quickly when I'm alone.

>>38354864
Oh god, please post the rest.

>>38350190
>tfw symtoms of bpd
>tfw normal family and nothing really remarkable to make me this way

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>>38350190
>anon: hey bpd-chan how's it going
>bpd-chan: um, good? why?
>a: no reason just wanted to be nice to you
>b: why would you do that what's wrong with you?
>a: nothing i just--
>b: I really hate how you're talking to me i didn't even do anything wrong
>b: *tries to hurt your feelings*
>a: wow ok... fuck you too then. *cries internally* *questions existence*
>b: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME??!?
>a: HOW AM I THE ASSHOLE IN THIS SITUATION?
>b: STOP YELLING AT ME YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! *hysterically screeching*
>a: I'm sorry for being an asshole again.
>b: it's alright I forgive you.
>a: (thinking) alright i know i hurt bpd-chan's feelings somehow. maybe it's something I'm doing.
>a: I feel like shit. i really hurt bpd-chan's feelings. maybe they need space.

later
a: *walks past bpd-chan*
b: WHY WON'T YOU SAY HI ANYMORE YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!
a; WAS JUST TRYING TO BE SYMPATHIC OR SOMETHING!
b: FUCK YOU!! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!! *more hurtful things*
a: *apologize or risk suicide attempt or something similar*

someone explain this behavior. I have almost developed a hatred for mentally unstable people. they are insufferable. believe me when i say want to like these people but i cannot.

>>38350190
>It's another "leave the discord chat and block everyone, spend hours on the bed crying only to realize they didn't actually hate you and it was in your head but don't want to add them back and explain how fucked you are and how much you miss them" episode.

Im a cancerous person and deserve death.

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>>38355654
Wow, you described my ex to the T

I tried so hard and thought everything was my fault

>>38355220
>but I'm just like this.

Either that, or whatever trauma you've been through you don't recognize as trauma. Trauma can be very subtle and chronic, not necessarily one horrible thing that happens suddenly that alters your life forever. Trauma is also not just physical violence or sexual assault, and can take the form of neglect or emotional abuse.

Tell me about your parents. Are they still together? How did they treat you growing up? How do they treat you today?

>>38355889
what a major sperg out

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>>38355995
She is a moron. This is actually how she typed her school papers

>>38356032
Is there something about borderline chicks and their inability to type properly?

I thought it was just this one chick I was with, but she kept making the most annoying bullshit mistakes ever.

>>38356104
My ex was a brainlet. She was a taking remedial classes in high school and took 7 years to finish a 2 year degree.

It was really frustrating to text her because she couldn't articulate her thoughts well and it would lead to confusion and eventually a temper tantrum

>>38355924
My parents are wonderful. Perfectly unremarkable. When I was younger, they treated me like a princess. They still do, come to think of it. The closest thing to trauma that I can imagine is that they weren't there for a few of the major events in my early childhood. I found out when I got older that a doctor touched me inappropriately when I was little i didn't know they were supposed to use gloves when examining your genitals He wasn't my gp though; Mine was on vacation. I think the reason my BPD manifested the way it did is because my friendships never lasted. They always moved away or tuned out to be shit friends. I didn't notice until someone pointed it out to me, but my friendships lasted at most a couple years for the majority of my life. In fact, the only constant I had was my parents and their support.

I have BPD and god damn it is so awful. I know I'm an asshole and I hurt people but I just can't help it. At least I usually limit my rage pretty well, I'm just extremely clingy and insecure and an emotional rollercoaster

Perhaps it's best that I just avoid being close to anyone so I can at least be stable, even if I'm empty