Not knowing how to cook

>>38337261
what are the basics of cooking

how many dishes is a small variety

what is the bare minimum for a meal to be considered a dish

please tell me i have to escape your disdain

>>38337261
I made a sandwich for dinner earlier tonight and while I was doing so I was thinking "ugh, this is too much work just to eat something..."

>>38338302
Consider hunting/gathering for your daily nourishment.

>>38338422
as in gathering bread from the shelves and hunting for the jar of pickles in the fridge?

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I get free food at work.

>>38337261
Good thing I know how to make instant ramen and oatmeal.

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>>38337261
>tfw know how to cook stuff when camping but kitchens confuse me
sucks being an /out/ist

>>38337261
Cooking is a womans job.

Cooking is for females you disgusting numale cuck

>>38338529
Walk into any restaurant and tell the head chef and I'm sure you'll find out how much of a womans job it is

>>38338553
If he is so manly why is he behaving like a lil bitch and obsessing over putting some dusted chocolate on his gay crem brule?

i don't know how to cook
since i don't know what kind of food i can make i can't even google instructions on how to make things
too much work to learn how to do that and i don't even know where to begin

>>38338174
Please answer this, OP. I need to know how I measure up.

>>38337261
I barely eat anything at all, I have no reason to cook

>>38337261
How the fuck do i learn how to cook? All the recipes seem too fucking hard and i can never get the temperature right i fuck up everything i try to cook.

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>tfw she loves my cooking
>i even made her a tub of ice cream from scratch
>tfw sometimes she just comes here to eat and get drunk with me
>tfe my only dream is to wake up while she's still sleeping and cook her a nice breakfast while she's still I'm bed
>tfw she keeps insisting that she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend despite the fact that she initiates conversation with me everyday and comes here 2-3 times a week

>>38339231
She's using you, you pathetic faggot. This is what you get for letting your guard down around roasties. What the fuck is wrong with you.

>>38339254
She got me to lose weight and go back to college. It's the closest thing I've felt to love.

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>>38339231
>i even made her a tub of ice cream from scratch
implying this this is amazing
cook me the perfect steak then ill think you did something amazing

>>38339390
>he thinks this is difficult
do you even own a sous vide machine faggot

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>>38339470
I was reffering to to spices and whatnot you dumb faggot

i remember when i first learned about these things, this kid told me they were cheating. i just laughed at him

>>38339231
she's wondering why you haven't made a move yet chungking. Ask if she wants a headpat and escalate. Enjoy your slightly used roastie. Maybe you'll be the one to make it work

>>38339515
>he puts spices on his steak
ketchup tier

i can't even butter bread, if nobody makes me food i just starve until i go and buy some kek

>>38337261
Name 3 meals worth cooking, otherwise it's 3minutes in the mircowave for me

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>>38339564
fucking kill yourself you dumb hoe
i bet you dont even season dumbass

my dad was always deployed and my mom worked night shift. Nobody taught me how to cook.

>>38337261
i can cook eggs, is that a start?

>>38339576
>curry
>spaghetti
>pastitsio
all good choices to make in bulk

>>38339585
I don't put anything on it because it ruins it.

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>>38339602
>I don't put anything on it because it ruins it.
i hope you at least salt it you nigger
how well done do you like it?

>>38339630
Blue/Rare
Either is fine

Yeah salt but that doesn't even count

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>>38339649
>that doesn't even count
????????
fuck off fag, learning to salt is one of the basics of cooking, ofc it counts
have u ever tasted shit with toomuch/notenough salt??????
its DUMPSTER FIRE

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i'm glad i at least learned to cook a little in the past few years even if i stopped learning more to at least free up others from an undue burden, but my food always kind of sucks because it's an extension of myself - no time, effort, or care is put into anything because it's never shared with anyone, and overpowering, unsubtle heavy-handed methods are used in place of subtle yet satisfying ones, and the result truly shows through

>>38339630

>mommy makes me a steak, she spent 1/4th of her paycheck buying it
>cooked perfectly medium rare, presentation is spot on
>"MOMMY WHERE'S THE LEMON PEPPER?"
>"i-it's a steak anon, you're supposed to eat it like that"
>rees and throws steak at wall.

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>>38339700
green always makes a dish look better anon
maybe try adding chives or cilantro but just as a garnish

>>38337261
agree op. I am always amazed by this. Its like you eat food right? but you dont know how to prepare it? blows my fuckin mind

>>38338573
lamo, this guy knows what's up