My biggest insecurity--not being with a gf or partner.

Like I would feel secure if I had a girlfriend, but I don't 100% want one. But since I'm almost 30, I feel social pressure to get one.

Terrible logic I know.... :-/

insecurity bump for being insecure

>>38294547
I feel sorry for you anon, I too want a gf but am unable to talk to girls and end up doing my own thing. You are not alone.

>>38294657
Sounds like you don't really want one

>>38294547
Dont force it. Maybe try online dating sites but dont rush it.

>>38295382
I feel pressured, and, well, I feel sexually attracted to women.

All things being the same, I wouldn't mind making love to one! That sounds like a lot of fun.

But, I don't feel super driven to get one. But then again, and I missing out? Maybe I should force it?

FORCE IT? (not rape, lol, but like, force myself to get a girlfriend?)

I'm in a similar situation bro-bot.
>want a gf, could probably get one
>no idea where to go to meet grills, bars and tinder seem shitty
>sit at home and be depressed instead

Seems like the answer has to be networking. Go places, meet people, and through them you'll meet more people. It's a numbers game: 51% of the population is female, ~40% of those will be 6/10 or above, so depending on where you go 1/5 people you meet your age would be a
qt enough to look into. Meet 50 people and you're bound to find one with a personality you like.

(That's how I rationalized it to myself, at least. Feel free to poke holes in my logic.)

>>38295388
I was thinking of joining like OK cupid or something.....in a year I mean...I figure at that point I should be ready.

>>38295459
That's probably the answer. I keep hearing an often quoted statistic that like 2/3rds of relationships/friendships are started through friends or through someone saying, "Anon? Hey, I think you'll like this fembot over here. She likes to torture animals too!"

I don't feel depressed, but I'm not like super happy either. I feel emotionally stable...not a lot of lows, but not a lot of great "wow, that was an awesome day, I'll remember it forever" highs either

>>38294547
>>38295445
So you are saying that you are genuinely happy with your life and being alone, besides the fact that you have no girlfriend.
You are good at being alone and you are happy with your job, your hobbies and so on. Do I understand this correctly?

If so, it sounds a bit like you only thinking you need a gf because your social environment "expects it"?

>>38295566
yeah that sounds about right. Also, a lot of times I feel kind of bad about myself for not having tons of sex like I'm supposed to.

>>38295633
>a lot of times I feel kind of bad about myself for not having tons of sex like I'm supposed to.

That's because society actually makes you feel this way.
Life is all about beauty, success, wealth and sex.
If you don't want to be part of it and feel comfortable without, embrace it.
Brake the chain and get fulfillment on your own.

If you want to be part of it though, just meet new people (not only girls) and eventually you will find someone.
It is just a matter of time.

>>38295692
>Beauty

I appreciate it. I mean...who doesn't like to look at pretty girls? Or guys if that's your taste? I like aesthetically pleasing things like paintings, i like cool movies, and well thoughout video games. Not a lot wrong with beauty.

> Success

*shrugs* success is to me, about using your head to get the things you want. yeah, i see it as open ended, and yeah, some evil people can take that to mean evil and messed up shit. But success is predominately internal, although people do like to see other people "succeed" and make it. I don't want my neighbor to be glum--I want him to have his chest out in the air and feeling good about getting something that he wanted/worked for.

> Wealth

I like having money and resources, but honestly, I'm one of those people that likes to think about money as little as I can. I still freak out a little bit with making sure that I pay my bills on time, but apart from that, If I could care less about money, I would.

>Sex

I feel like I want it, and that it's wrong if I am not getting it, even though I'd rather spend my times on other activities than trying to pursue it. It sounds fun to swipe right on tinder, until it isn't. I mean, that's time you could be using to read a cool book, or watch futurama reruns. Or pig out.

Yeah...maybe I just need to wait another year and then take inventory of my feelings then.

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men aging like wine is just a meme, if you cross over 30 single you will have an extremely hard time finding a partner, i've seen it happen many times... My job is all men and the single ones over 30 complain constantly that all the good women are long taken and younger women treat them like lepers for being over "the big three-oh"

>>38295800
>I feel like I want it, and that it's wrong if I am not getting it, even though I'd rather spend my times on other activities than trying to pursue it. It sounds fun to swipe right on tinder, until it isn't. I mean, that's time you could be using to read a cool book, or watch futurama reruns. Or pig out.

You really sound like you are sitting between the tables.
But if you feel like you are missing something, than just get it.
Just don't view time you spend on getting laid as "wasted time".

As you sated before:
>success is to me, about using your head to get the things you want.
Use this attitude to find a girl. Think about it, make some moves, use your brain, but don't force it too hard.
Just make it you new side project, and accept the fact that you can not fully control this one.

>>38295875
nah
women age like milk
and young girls still eye fuck you like crazy
its pretty good

the used up whores you can just ignore, they are pathetic and desperate , its so great to finally reject all the whores who chased chad cock for years and ignored you

I don't mean this in a mean way or anything but do you hang out with women? In your social circles, are you close with some women? Any new women?

When youre only friends with guys and have been for a long while, or even some girls that you're not attracted to, you can start feeling like you.

Just know that when you meet / get close to someone you really wanna be with for real you will know, and feel it yourself, you'll WANT it yourself - not feel forced. If you're going into a relationship because you feel forced it's not gonna end well, unless you're lucky.

The best relationships are the ones where you first become really good friends with a girl, writing every day, and then take it to the next level.

You could try new hobbies or something where you'll meet new ppl

>>38295875
Granted this is purely anecdotal but I have not found that to be the case. Admittedly I'm not in as bad a spot as a lot of guys are. I'm okay looking, financially successful, and generally pleasant to interact with. After I hit 30 I found that my options were a bit wider, though unfortunately the choices are pretty much still single moms, spinstresses, or 20-somethings with daddy issues.

I ended up taking the coward's way out and picked up an early 20s girl from r9k who worships the ground I walk on. Work a for me, I like the clingy ones.

>>38296066
I meet women when I travel like 2-3 a year, but no, I'm not really close to women that much, or hangout with women at all.

Maybe that's what I need to do.

>>38296279
It's a good idea if you're at all socially capable. Women are better at meeting other women, so if you cultivate a group of women that you can be friends with, you will naturally increase the size of the pool that you meet and may have potential for a relationship with.

Do be somewhat prepared for potential drama though. Women can be horribly competitive.

>>38296327
I know why I don't hang out with many women at all, or a lot of people for that matter.

First of all, I am antisocial and I like doing my own thing. I do connect well with girls that are also antisocial in teh way I am.

I mean I can talk to people and deal with women. I worked in accounting for a few yeras, and that field is FULL of women. Like HR, except a little more stuck up. I would learn things about women that other women told me, even though they only told one other person. The rumor would go through 4 people and then reach me.

Anyways, I just, for most of my adult life, didn't like where I was in my career. And I felt kind of insecure about it. I freelance and it's only been recently that I've been able to like, have a bit more disposable income.

That's why I feel that i should be much more ready in a year. But from 22 to 28 I felt like...I didn't like myself that much because I didn't like where I was in my career. Which was nowhere for the most part.

It's only been recently, after like 6 years of hard work, that things are finally turning around...also, at this point I am slighlty scared of women I find attractive. I guess its just a reflex after being a shut-in for a while.

>>38296382
Adapt and overcome, or don't. All there really is to be said.

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>>38294547
Hey I read through your thread, I've got a friend about the same age as you, relationships aren't really his thing either but he's got a 30yo woman he's friends with, they pretty much just enjoy each others company and have sex now and then, nothing serious at all.

Easier said than done obviously but try to meet people and establish something like that if it's your thing, it's actually pretty easy especially with single moms. That would keep you from getting into a relationship you don't want just because you have no other way to get sex.

>>38297846
thankx for the input

Love is something that you lose the appetite for if you don't have it for a long time if ever. I got to the point where I was just tired of feeling like a failure in that arena so I pushed things with a girl I knew to see just how far I could go before it fell apart. We ended up having sex and developing a bit of a thing but truthfully it didn't last because she still wasn't over her ex and I have so many deep-seeded emotional issues I couldn't handle the ambiguity of the relationship.

I miss her and it has definitely awakened desires in me that weren't very strong when I was forever alone. Now I know I do crave the company of an attractive woman, I do really enjoy sex and the intimacy of having a woman physically and emotionally close to me. I do enjoy having someone to do activities with and to be in my passenger seat when I go out. I want that bad and now I know all that is standing between that and where I am now is having the courage and confidence to pursue women, even if I get rejected a million times I only need the right one to say yes.

I do feel a certain pressure to settle down (due to all my friends and family being in that stage of their life) but one thing having an almost-relationship has showed me is that as a single I'm in a unique position. I can do what I want, go where I want and I don't really have to answer to anyone but God. If I want to start up a business that's going to take 100 hours a week to get off the ground I don't have to worry about keeping a girlfriend or wife happy. I don't have to scramble to find work anywhere so I can take care of children. I don't have to worry about whether I'm "cheating" if I flirt with the cute cashier. Don't get me wrong I'm not a Chad by any means. I wouldn't even consider myself a good-looking man but when you finally get tired of being chained by insecurity and fear and you decide to start acting in spite of it, interesting unexpected things can happen.