Microwave thread

This thread just makes me unhappy....

My household never had a microwave.

>>38285299
Mine didn't had an oven for over 4 years

>>38285349
So you boiled or roasted everything??

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>be me stupid little kid
>parents are gone for the day
>gonna make some easy mac for lunch
>put it in the microwave then go in my room
>come out when there's 30 seconds left and see smoke coming from the microwave
>realise I forgot to put the water in
>open the microwave and a wave a smoke cones out
>the easy make is just a black ball
>didn't know what to do so I just shut the door and went back to my room
>parents got home and the kitchen and living room was full of smoke and there was a strange black ball in the microwave

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>>38285621
how the fuck did you not remember to put water in it

>>38284010
>14
>decide to make some hot chocolate
>no clean cups, use my school water bottle instead
>put it in the microwave
>bottle is half melted and half burned
>smoke detector battery died halfway through putting out the fire, it was only a week old
>don't microwave anything by myself for the next few months

>>38284010
Well it was a shit quality microwave I hope they took it back for a refund

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>be kid
>decide to make a boiled egg
>put it on hob
>turn on gas at full blast but forget the heat
>leave it for a good 5 minutes
>mfw mum could smell the gas from upstairs

>Microwaving a cold pancake
>Don't know how long to put it in for
>Remember saw mom put in a coffee for some setting where '5.' blinked for ages and never ticked down
>Assumed that was five minutes
>Put pancake in for five minutes
>Hit 'go' and go back to watching movie
>I have anosmia (cannot smell)
>At around four minutes look up and see the kitchen is filling with smoke billowing out of microwave
>Uh oh
>Go turn off microwave, open all the windows in the front of the house
>Turn on all the ceiling fans
>Delicious pancake is now black hockey puck
>Dad (sleeping on back room) comes barreling into the kitchen thinking the house is on fire
>Explain
>Asks if he wants the pancake
>He goes back to bed

>my cousin read that microwaves can explode in your face and kill you
>always used the microwave at an angle (ducking under it, hiding to the side)
>now she's a tall, thicc, pale skin, color-hair tumblr girl who's dating a mexican
really makes you think

>>38284010
>age 11
>wanna make french toast sticks
>mommy says 1 min for 4
>put them in for 10 mins
> about 6 mins in it started burning and i went and threw water on it.

>be 8
>want to melt chocolate for smores
>put it in in a plastic container for 5 minutes
>go to piss before I piss myself
>come back to the entire kitchen filled with black smoke
>container is melted and microwave is filled with bubbling melted plastic and chocolate tar
>dad comes barreling in thinking I'm burning the house down

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>>38284010
>coffee gets cold
>put my cup in the microwave for 60 seconds
>about 30 seconds in sparks start flying and smoke emerges
>take that shit out
>realize the cup was non microwavable
>cup ruined
this was only last year

>probably around 12 years old
>want a snack so I start digging arounD the kitchen
>my mom for some reason put 3musketeers bar in freezer
>it's too hard to bit
>I microwaved it for like 2 minutes
>after 10 seconds purple lightning starts flying off the wrapper
>I stop it
>horrible smell

>>38284010
>be like 10 or 12
>likes putting stuff in microwave, ants army guys whatever sounds fun
>put a literal bowl full of gummy bears in the microwave
>burns and turns to this weird paste substance shit
>microwave never smells the same (terrible that is)

luckily it was a shitty microwave and we needed a new one anyways

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>>38287873
>>He goes back to bed
Did he ever get out?

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i got a sick tale for ya goys
>nigger kid comes over that a friend of a friend is
>he is hungry and we have some corndogs
>he sets the microwave to full power and 20 minutes meaning to put 2 minutes ( still to much)
>the corndog literally LITERALLY melts
>the kitchen is up in smoke
>never seen him again after this that

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>who else here /putmetalinthemicrowave/

>bored
>mummy watching cooking shows
>drinking my milkies in kitchen
>heard microwave explode with metal
>put fork in and turn it up because I am a explorer of all things
>BRAAPRPPPAPAPA
>sparks and shit fly everywhere inside there
>I'm laughing manically like a mad scientists watching my devilish experiment take shape
>Mom comes in and sees whats happening and starts screaming at me
>smacks me in the head hard
>iregretnothing

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>Be 22
>Trying to melt chocolate for some recipe I found
>Empty entire bag of melting chocolate in a bowl
>Put microwave for a minute
>Nothing happens
>Set it for another 2 minutes
>Bowl is really hot but chocolate still looks the same
>Put chocolate back in for 4 minutes this time
>Alright, this oughta melt it
>Pull bowl out with two oven mits because it is so hot
>Small whisper of smoke emanating from the center of the chocolate
>Most of the chocolate looks like black tar at this point
>MFW I forgot to stir after each microwaving session

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>>38289062
hahaha that's fucking awesome

>>38285349
I'm 24 and never had an oven until I was 23.

>>38285404
>being this white

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>>38284010
>be yesterday
>microwave no longer works
>forget to tell anyone
>someone bought microwave popcorn following day

microwave a hot pocket vertically and it cooks evenly

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>be me i think I was about 3 or 4 and still in diapers
>running around like an autist making car noises with my little race car with a man inside it
>parents are in a different room so the kitchen is empty
>see cool machine that spins things around and makes noises
>put the race car inside, put my face right up to the microwave glass and make loud noises as it goes around and around
>the race car goes on fire
>ohshit.jpg
>start running around and screaming and crying my brother came in and wondered what the fuck I was doing
>father had to get a towel and take the flaming car out and throw it outside
>I lost my race carh

>>38289280
Did you ever get your car back?

>>38289321
No it was a smoldering black piece of trash on the ground outside my house for a while though, I think there was still a bit of red paint left and the figure of the man inside the race car remained, made me sad

>>38289187
Holy fuck bebe ur back

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>Be 22 yo
>Mommy gets me fried chicken
>It's cold so i have to use my microwave
>The fried chicken is in an aluminun food container
>Will it make fire?
>Remember that my microwave can handle metallic forks and spoons so no problems
>Put the conatainer in the microwave
>Hear buzzing noices
>See electric arcs
>Fuck shit, the container touchs the walls of the microwaves and funny things
>Pic related
Please ignore my a little bit dirty microwave

>>38289368
is she still relevant?

>>38289361
did your parents buy you a new toy car?

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>be dumb kid
>stick fork in microwave in with plate
>catches on fire within 2 seconds
>freak out
>turn it off and remove the fork
>finish heating my food normally

>>38289391
Idk but she was last year

>>38288488
>>38289077
>>38289378
Everyone else in this thread, be glad you're not these idiots and only fucked up as children.

>>38289462
remember her posting about going to Japan or something
her threads were pretty popular, but not many actually liked her as a person, or as something to orbit

>>38289504
Yeah lol, I think they hated her because she was black. Idk, I came here in July last year

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>be 10
>not old enough to watch my 8yo brother home alone
>get dumb 15yr old roastie babysitter
>allergic to cats
>our poor kitten we just got has to sit in the laundry room all night meowing
>she puts popcorn in the microwave and doesn't open the bag and heats it too long
>explodes inside the microwave
>inside of microwave is perma-stained yellow
>house smells like burnt popcorn for 2 weeks

>be 6 or 7 or something maybe 5
>hungry
>family is gone but my senile grandmother is here
>tell her I want chicken burgers
>she says fine
>go take chicken burgers out of the fridge and put them in the microwave for like a minute
>then I proceed to eat these raw partially hot chicken burgers, i think I ate one and a half of them

I was a pretty dumb kid

>be 12, microwave is final frontier
>try to cook popcorn, 30 min instead of 3
>smell it burning from other room but think if I pretend I didn't know nobody would think it was me
>Only person in house
>house and everything in it smell like burned popcorn for a month, most horrible smell I've ever smelled

>>38285621
>in highschool
>work for a grocery store
>retarded guy makes easymac for lunch in the break room
>didn't put water
>smokes up the whole upstairs and the alarm goes off

>>38287943
how are those things correlated

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is anybody else fucking disgusted by microwaves?

get that spongey pizza away from me

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>be 15, just discovered that porn exists
>use dial-up connection to google "vagina"
>safe search is on moderate, only one thing comes up, is health textbook diagram of female reproductive system
>cant save mommy will find out
>decide to print it with old printer that took 15 min just to print one picture
>is really dark, printer runs out of ink half way through
>i can still fap to this
>its soaking wet with ink, decide to dry it in microwave
>fucking instantly ignites creating huge dark plume of smoke
>smoke alarm goes off, family evacuates house, fire department shows up
>neighbors congregate
>they exit the house chuckling, hand half burnt picture to mom and drive off.

i had to explain how i used the whole extremely expensive ink cartridge to half-print a textbook diagram of the female reproductive system to masturbate, then smoked out the house trying to dry it in the microwave.
>every mother in the neighborhood was chatting with my mom when the chuckling firefighters brought her a half scorched vagina x-ray they retrieved from our microwave.
thats the first time i was forced to therapy.

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>Have to melt butter.
>Put it in a glass and fire up microwave
>"well, two minutes should be enought"
>Set it.
>Watch it spin for a couple of seconds.
>It's melting.
>Stops melting for a couple of seconds.
>Butter explodes
>Microwave is covered in butter.

I still haven't find out the science behind that.

>>38289932
I thought my microwave stories were bad but you're the winner anon.

>dad sets up sticky traps for mice
>find mouse stuck in trap behind trash can in the kitchen
>put mouse and trap into microwave, turn it on
>watch the creature squirm and die horribly

>>38289279
Are you kidding? How do you do this?

>the microwave thread is the best one on /r9k/ rn

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>>38289932
This entire thread has been leading up to this.

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>>38290195
Do you even complain?
It was ages I hand't so many giggles.

>>38288825
Leave norman

>>38289932
You've won the thread

>microwave something
>Like a burrito or a cup of water
>Microwave dies
>Everyone makes implications that I broke the microwave for months

>>38290187
put it in the pocket and stand it up you doublenigger

>>38289998
You boiled the water that was trapped under the fat causing basically a steam explosion.

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>be 12
>want to heat up left over chines spare ribs
>put tinfoil bag of ribs in microwave and set it for 3 minutes
>blue arch of electricity crackles around bag
>wtf.jpg
>panic and turn off microwave
>wait for mom to get home and ask her what the hell happened
>she calls me retarded

Thanks for never telling me not to heat up metal in the fucking microwave, mom. You're retarded.

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>be me
>like 16
>just after Halloween so my siblings had a bunch of snacks
>one house gave mini popcorn bags
>decide to make popcorn in the middle of the night
>put it on normal microwave popcorn time cause didn't care
>come back when I notice burning smell
>see smoke in the microwave
>open it and smoke billows out into my face
>I went blind for like 10 minutes from microwave popcorn
>mfw still ate burnt popcorn

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Bamp.

More microwave posts!

>>38284010
>mom and dad accidentally left me me at home for the day

How does this happen? How do you forget you left your kid home?

You'd have to notice they were'nt there.

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>>38290168
My nigga. Mouse torture is fucking great

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>>38284010
Let me enlighten u guys >xD
>Be 21
>put food in the microwave because hungry af
>put 3mins in
>wait.jpgy
>00:01
>press stop
>alarm didn't go off
>and went to bed
Today I ate pizza it was pepperoni
I hate pineapple yuck!

>>38289998
Best one ITT. Well told, OP.

>be 6
>want pizza
>put pizza in microwave and set timer for 40 minutes
>goes for about 7 minutes
>smoke is coming out
>mother and father see smoke in kitchen
>stop the microwave and throw out the pizza
>smellsbadman
>mum made me pizza
>feelsgoodman

>>38291020
Or, instead of being a manchild, you could just press the mute button.

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>be me
>8 years old
>dad and mom busy arguing
>hungry.jpg
>last night's fast-food leftovers on the counter
>decide to microwave it
>leave wrapper on
>didn't know aluminum + microwave = bad
>parents too busy at each others' throats to care to tell me anything about microwave usage
>Burger catches fire
>FUCK.png
>panicking I open the door and hit it out with another plate
>beat the burger down with the plate
I learned a lesson that day

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>be 8 year old
>playing with modeling clay
>spend an hour making intricate sculpture of a snake or some shit
>remember from school they use heat to make it dry
>put it in the microwave for 20 minutes
>it melts and the whole microwave is covered in a brown sticky clay liquid
>all that hard work gone and parents mad as shit

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>>38287873
>>Dad (sleeping on back room) comes barreling into the kitchen thinking the house is on fire

I don't know why but I found this very funny.

>>38284010
>in marching band in high school
>a couple friends and I hide in storage room regularly
>old nasty microwave in there for some reason
>always say I am going to microwave a metal lyre for an hour when school ends on the last day of our senior year
>pussy out and don't do it
I did break into the school at night to steal a poster, but that's a story for another day

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>>38284010
i have a comfy NEET routine
>wake up at 2 in the afternoon
>buy eggs from corner store, still in pj's
>put 3 on in the microwave for a minute or 2
>let it cool down
>peel the shells off and dice the egg
>put some taco bell hotsauce packets ive saved on it and have a yummy breakfast

also when I was like 7 I put a pb&j sandwich still in aluminum in the microwave after school and created lightning it was pretty fucking scary

>>38291362
You know, I'm pretty sure not all microwaves have a mute button.

>>38291492
TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES JESUS CHRIST

>>38289932
easy winner right here, did you fap to it though?

>>38291628
holy shit dude that sounds comfy as fuck. I'm gonna have to try that someday.

I tried microwaving a fucking popcorn kernel when I was like 9 because I was interested in how it becomes popcorn. All I remember is that the microwave stopped working after a minute or two with no change to the kernel. Probably just a shit microwave.

>>38291650
Stop being poor already.

Be me
Be 12
Make popcorn chicken
Put in for 10 minutes
Take out
Eat
Turns out I was supposed to put them in for 20 minutes

Be me
Be 13
Cook fish sticks
Waiting to finish
Little sister tells me their done
Take out of toaster oven
Eat
Mfw their not even close to done
Food poisoning

>be me
>young lad
>watched bill nye regularly
>saw an episode about volcanoes or some shit
>learned that magma is just a bunch of molten rocks
>remember that butter melts in the microwave
>greatidea.wmv
>grab a bunch of rocks from the garden
>chuck them into the microwave
>set it for 20 seconds, as food usually took that long to heat up
>nothing happens
>try it a few more times
>nothing but disappointment

>be young
>winter time
>snowed in
>really want chocolate
>only have nutella spread
>nutella is rock solid
>put it whole jar in the microwave
>see sparks and bright flashes as the jar turns inside
>some of the aluminium seal was still on the rim of the jar
>scared
>turned it off after remembering the microwave scene from the gremlins 2 movie.

>>38287943
I laughed really hard at this depiction of the events you're recounting. You wanted to fug her didnt' you?

>>38291628
microwaved eggs are disgusting bro

>>38289280
how the hell do you remember being that young so vividly? My parents told me I rode my tricyle into the pond in our backyard when I was 3. No recollection at all.

Also I spent most of my young years in the hospital anyways

>>38289578
I sometimes think about my old babysitter. What a personality she had, I loved her when I was young. I had a babysitter up to about 10, but I remember her very well. Wish I had met her 10 years later, but who knows I'm kind of a loser so it wouldn't be worth it to pursue anything. Things work out for a reason I guess

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>>38289932
I'm honestly impressed you didn't kill yourself after that congrats

>>38292000
your pleb ass probably just reheats them in the microwave

>>38290168
>>38290894
literal sociopaths, both of you. i'd hate to even to know you as a person.

>be me
>be 13
>want to make myself scrambled eggs.
>get the pan ready and turn the oven on
>have to piss and forget about oven
>come back and decide to make cereal
>take my cereal to my room and play video games for 45 minutes
>have to piss again and leave my room.
>open the door and smoke is everywhere
>panic and run outside and start crying.
>house nearly burns down but neighbors call 911 while I cry on my front lawn

My parents still don't trust me in the kitchen.

I don't even fucking know what was wrong with me.

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>roommate buys a microwave from a thrift store
>fills it with old fireworks and aluminum foil
>tapes door shut, puts in fire pit and sets the timer for 90 minutes
>30 minutes in the fireworks explode and break the hinges off the door
I didn't think anything would happen

>>38287509
got a chuckle out of this one m9

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>6:00 AM
>Getting ready for school
>Tired as fuck.
>Pop a shitty TV dinner in the microwave.
>Smell something extremely weird.
>Hear popping sounds.
>Check the microwave.
>THERE WAS A FUCKING FURBY IN THE FUCKING MICROWAVE.
>Entire house smells like a freshly bombed Hiroshima.
>Thickest Iron-Plastic scent I have ever smelled.
>Can smell it right now just thinking about it, worst smell I've ever had.
>Wake sister up and tell her to get the fuck out of the house because there's fucking poison gas everywhere because someone put a furby in the microwave.
>...
>...
>She was the one who put the furby in the microwave.
>God fucking damnit
>Run half a mile out of the house
>Can still smell it.
>Just fucking walk to school without brushing my teeth or anything.
>Almost get hit by a car.

WHO THE FUCK PUTS A FUCKING FURBY IN THE FUCKING MICROWAVE. FUCK.

>>38292431
gj anon, one more of those menaces dead

>roommate has gf over
>i decide to go dumpster diving early to get away
>"hey, can u throw popcorn in m8 b4 u go?"
>grab popcorn and put it in microwave
>press popcorn button
>look back at them kissing on the couch
>turn back to the microwave
>press "add 30 seconds" twice
>run out into the night

I hope they enjoyed their burned corn.

>>38284010
Do you guys not knoe about
Is It A Good Idea to Microwave This?

The first and best great Youtube shows.

>>38287943
>tall, thicc, pale skin, color-hair
Photos or at least a more thorough description please. Also
>who's dating a mexican
Why though??

>>38291860
y no gren

Oh boy
>be 8
>get hungry
>decide to make me some micrawave easy make macaroni
>been doing this for months
>this time however decide to measure how hot it was (teacher gave a lesson on scientific theory the day before and wanted to test)
>get thermometer meant for mouth
not just any thermometer,
>m e r c u r y b a s e d
>cook the roni
>stick thermometer inside it afterwards, leave it for a few minutes
>come back and see error on the screen, and macaroni's strangly reflective and liquidy metallic in some areas
>being an 8 year old, decide fuck it, let's eat
>mom walks in and sees
>freaks out
>asks me if I ate any
>lie
>"no I just had put a thermometer in to test how hot it was"
>was sick for days

>>38293027
I have audibly kek'd at this post. Thank you.

>>38284010
>playing with tech deck dudes
>simulate fake fight
>loser gets microwaved
>lock up sumo thumb
>nuke that shit
>magnets in feet start sparking up
>turn off microwave
>sumo on fire
>microwave smells like electric fish from then on

>>38284010
>too paranoid of radiation to use the microwave
>whenever somebody uses the microwave i run outside

>little kid
>grandma tells me to put a can of soup in a bowl and microwave it
>I do, literally
>microwave starts shooting sparks and breaks
>parents have to give their own microwave to my grandparents
>get bitched at about it for years
>still get nasty comments about this from my family 20 years later

>>38289650
chicken burgers are precooked senpai

Is it a good idea to microwave this?

>be a kid
>get new-fangled expensive microwave
>parents never explain about metals (they didn't know)
>destroy it with metal
>parents find out and freak out
>tell me not to put metal in it
>they buy a new one
>later see my siblings putting metal in the new microwave
>have to explain that that breaks the microwave
>mfw we broke the microwave by putting forks and spoons in the microwave
>ask parents what stuff is microwave safe
>they don't fucking know
>do microwave science, put things (foil, food packaging, etc.,) in microwave to see if it sparks, take it out instantly if it does, and compile results
>mfw no one could tell me the right answer and i could only figure it out through logic, trial and error, experimentation and science

call me... MICROWAVE MAN

>be like 12
>have leftover chik-fil-a
>its in the foil lined pouch
>microwave it without really thinking about it
>come back and it is on fire
>dont even panic, casually blow it out and eat it

>>38293233
thats what it says to do if you read a microwave booklet you are not smart or special. you are supposed to test your shit in microwave.

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don't have any stories of my own but i'm not gonna get another chance to post this

>>38293357
Holy shit that guy is a fucking idiot

>>38293303
I was like, less than 10 years old.

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>be 23
>microwave a pie at 3am in the middle of the night
>plate literally fucking explodes out of nowhere
>dont know why it happened, heated a pie up the next day with another exact same type of plate

>14
>decide to cook a pie for lunch
>takes 40 minutes to cook in the oven
>fuck it, I'll just microwave it
>put microwave on for 10 minutes
>come back 10 minutes later as my dad walked in the door
>sees pie
>Rock solid
>dad sees pie
>says nice job son
>give pie to chickens (we had chickens)
>have some cereal and cry
I still remember that pie

>>38293357
I wonder what conversation he had with his parents afterwards and where he is now.

>>38293472

>23 years old
>can't learn a simple fucking lesson as easy as don't microwave shit that exploses

>>38285621
>>38286099
I've done this before too. Was with Easy Mac as well. Forgetting to put water in. Iktfb
It happens to a lot of people

>>38293027
>was sick for days
But that's not how mercury poisoning works anon

>Too lazy too cook vegetables properly so I just steam frozen vegetables in the microwave.
It's tasty and lazy.

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> Be me
> nine
> microwave KFC smol sandwich
> don't know that foil ignites in the microwave
> open the microwave
> smol chicken is on fire
> oh nos!
> throw a glass of water into the microwave
> fire dies
> I eat around the burnt bread

>be me
>8
>parents left me home with my brother
>"remeber anon if you get hungry just pu something to microwve it's easy"
>ok mom
>me and my five years old brother are watching tv
>after 4 hours he says "i'm hungry make me cereal''
>ok
>put cereal and milk in bowl give it to him
>"no i want it warm"
>ok
>HowDoesThisShitWork.jpg
>put this shit to microvawe
>press random buttons
>press start
>after half an hour i can feel strange smell from kitchen
>i check this out
>terryfied
>there is black smoke going from microwave
>unplug microwave
>destroyed power outlet
>opened microwave
>wrapped towel around burned bowl
>throwed bowl to sink
>tried to cool it down with water
>look at my creation
>bowl is full of coal because i burned milk and cereal
i gave my brother some bread to eat so he wouldnt whine. my mom somehow cleaned this bowl and i still have it to this day

>>38293357
>im 22
>girls are 15
>no lube, use butter instead
nicce

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this gives me an opportunity ive been meaning to share from when i was 7 and kept to myself
>be 7
>have a dwarf hamster named kenny
>cold winter and snowstorms
>hamster was shaking cold
>mom bought a cool silver microwave and taught me how to use it
>still didnt know how to use it
>all i was able to comprehend was that it heats up food but its fast
>thought to my 7-year-old-self that heat + spinning around = entertaining hamster
>kenny goes into the fucking microwave
>im actually crying as i type this, btw
>meant to set timer for 20 seconds but set it for two minutes
>short attention span caused me to not notice and go back to playing with my hot wheels cars
>come back
>open the door
>mfw my fucking dwarf hamster is now burnt goo and it smelled like actual shit and firewood at the same time
>went to therapy after that
>mommy put the microwave higher so i cant reach it
>1 year later get new hamster named george
i miss my hamster :(

>>38295863
Man. . you definitely belong here.

>>38295863
did you microwave george too?

>>38295863
>heat + spinning around = entertaining hamster
Laughed audibly. Sounds like something from the packaging of a cheap chinese toy

>>38295923
i wasnt allowed to use the microwave till i was 14 and until then i had to have my older brother heat things up for me

>>38295980
like george?

>2 years ago
>movie into new house
>1 month into living in it
>decide to make ramen
>forget to add the fucking water
>cant work the fucking microwave
>accidentally puts it to an hour
>forget about ramen
>microwave explodes
>our kitchen burns down

>>38296085
no i did not he died when he fell out of his cage i dont wanna talk about it anymore

>>38296189
(((fell)))

we know what you did, anon

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>be 11
>trapped a spider in a empty bottle and freezeed it for a bit
>spider wouldn't move after poking it
>nuke it in the mircowave for a bit
>see it moving around a lot, its not happy

>>38296209
yes he fell to his death because thats what he gets for breaking out of his cage
however the cage was on a shelf higher than myself at the time

>>38296288
and what exactly were you doing on a shelf, anon?

>>38296368
kek 100%

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>>38296288
guess he came out of his cage and didn't do just fine

>>38288825
>that pic
fuck off to normiebook

>>38295863
OOHHH MY GOD
YOU KILLED KENNY

>common room in last year of high school.
>retarded fucks keep insisting on having "discos" in the common room
>stick bin bags over windows switch off lights and crank up shot music, turning common room into a nightclub
>we just wanna play n64 in peace
>some faggot brings in disco lights and strobes etc.
>we are having a mario kart tournament
>last match, last lap of tournament
>chad unplugs n64 to plug in disco lights
>reeeeeeeeeeee
>c'mon anon stop doing that childish stuff and dance. Don't you know how much fun clubs are?
>columbine.jpg
>tell him to go fuck himself and unplug lights and replying in Nintendo
>whole Rome of normies and roasties "cmon anons don't be childish fags"
>after lunch period when everyone's fucked off
>pick up CD player used for music
>put it in microwave
>barely fits
>turn it up to max and 1 hour
>leave to go to class
>power shorts out in middle of class
>forbidden from having any electric appliances in common room including n64
>start bringing in board games
>normies stop hanging out in common room
>totally worth it
>tfw suicide bomber of nerdom.

My family never had a microwave since they think microwaves make you infertile

>>38297007

dgo Bless u

>>38297007
Only the results matter, continue to play dirty, my anon-hero.

>be 6
>want to make chocolate milk but don't know how
>put a bit of cocoa in a plastic cup
>fill it all the way with sugar
>put it in the microwave for an hour
>cup melts
>didn't get chocolate milk

>>38289578
Kek, did she get in trouble? Did she try to blame it on you?

>>38292431
Did the Furby survive?

>>38285621
>>38289280
>>38290647
>>38291364
>>38291920
>>38292259
>>38295687
>>38295502
>>be me
Stop this shit. It's not funny. It's annoying.

>>38299235
>be anon
>be buthurt about tradition

>>38292431
Did your parents ever find out?

>>38299266
>be me (actually you)
>me is the name I call myself
>that was a Sound of Music Reference
>I like the Sound of Music
>except the part with the puppets
>they scare me
>seriously those shits were fucking creepy
>what were they fucking thinking?
>anyways I love filling greentexts with unnecessary details
>I don't care if it is something that that should already be assumed or not important to the story at all
>I'll put it in there anyways
>why?
>Tradition!
>TRADITION!
>that was a Fiddler on the Roof reference
>I like musicals about Jews
>because I am a gay Jew
>one time I accidentally put my rainbow dreidel in the microwave
>I made it out of clay
>after I put it in the microwave it was not dry and ready
>it fucking melted
>dreidel I did not play
>that was a reference to the dreidel song
fuck you

>>38299460
>being this angry
really makes you think

>>38295863
What was your moms reaction? Sorry to hear what happened.

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>be 8
>Mom is sleeping on the couch
>want some french fries but don't want to wake her up
>get some of the fries you put in oven
>didn't know how to use oven so I just put them in microwave
>put it in for 50 minutes
>I fuck off and go play vidya
>I then smell smoke 30 minutes later
>Open the microwave
>Smoke pours out
>fries are burnt as fuck
>throw them away
>MFW the smoke didn't wake up my mom so I didn't get in trouble

>>38299559
she was terrified ad buzzed off of wine so she wasnt TOO bad about it as i thought she would be
also its kind of a blurr

>>38296368
>>38296396
i had him put there because i wanted him to be be tall i dunno i was 7 i just wanted him to be higher

>>38300692
My mom wasn't drunk, fuck off

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>tfw no microwave enhanced memories
I made some sausages with one yesterday if that counts.

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>>38288769
that's one nice frog ya got there

i once microwaved a peep for 10 minutes and it melted into pitch black goo that stayed stuck to the walls of the microwave for years after

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>be me
>be 9
>Novice at microwaving
>I try to make hot chocolate
>Put the chocolate-powder water in a mug in the microwave and set it for ten minutes, thinking that I'll just stop it when it looks hot
>viewing from below, I can't see inside of it
>the mug disintegrates and smoke shoots out after a few minutes

Luckily no one noticed I did that.

>>38292471
>>38299023
The little fucker survived so I gave it to a friend who I wanted dead.

>>38299300
I think it was gone by the time they came back.

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>be 6 or something
>have a huge urge to know how hot can a thermometer get
>put that baby in the microwave
>thermometer goes exploding_knees.jpg under 10 seconds
>have toxic fumes flying around the house and breath that shit
>get out and feel sick
>mom finds me at the porch and calls 112 (Finlands 911)
>get to spend rest of the day outside cause of "detox" or someshit
oh boys this thread just reminded me of this
ty /r9k/

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>Be like 11 or so
>eating lunch
>brother is heating up a leftover boiled egg
>my dad tells him to heat it for like 10 sec
>brother heats it for a minute
>he takes it out with his bare hands
>starts running towards kitchen table while juggling this hot egg while yelping
>makes it about 10 ft before the egg explodes in his hands
>my dads face when

>be 30 years old Aryan masterrace
>Vote for blumpf
>Takes away my healthcare and ebt

>>38304691
fuck off with your political bullshit, go hop in a microwave and set the timer for 60 minutes.

>>38284010

>be me
>be semi normie fag with pt job
>it was ~105F on Sat so this coworker who usually eats in her car decided to eat in the break room for lunch
>clock in break room hasn't been working for 3 weeks because no one's bothered to replace the fucking AA
>everyone uses their phone or ipod or some shit instead
>this 40-50 yo bitch comes in and takes her lunch
>manager walks in and out and realizes the microwaves super hot and there's nothing inside
>asks coworker if she was heating something
>says no, the clocks not working so she was using micro countdown as timer
>this bitch literally used the timer on the micro with settings set to full blast for 18/30mins
>tfw everyone was fucking pissed they couldn't heat up their lunch after

I thought I was the autistic one in the store

>a few years ago when I was 20
>working at a sports store
>buy myself a chicken and some baked potatoes
>suddenly a lot of customers in the store and I have to help the other useless people who work there
>after 20 minutes my lunch is cold
>put it in the microwave for 6 minutes
>everything is wrapped in foil - potatoes and chicken
>I go to take a piss
>suddenly fire alarm
>microwave is on fire
>put that shit out
>get yelled at by owner of mall and my own boss because we "lost a lot of customers" because people had to go outside

BOY DID I FEEL SILLY! I WAS NOT AWARE - WE NEVER HAD A MICROWAVE AT HOME!

I also remember putting a knife in the toaster when I was 8 and waking up in the bathroom not remembering the last 5 minutes

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>>38305144
>I also remember putting a knife in the toaster when I was 8 and waking up in the bathroom not remembering the last 5 minutes
i was putting nails in electric sockets

>>38290638
>leftover spare ribs
>not reserve supplementary leftover spare ribs
ISHYGDDT

>>38305825
>>38305144
I put a fucking key in the socket thinking it was like some magical door. Christ I forgot all about that till just now.

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>Be me around 8
>Really love the crispy cheese bits on the pizza crust
>decide to make crispy cheese by myself
>put cheese on a platter
>microwave, full heat for 30min while I watch cartoons
>platter is hot af so put on table to cool off.
>melts through the oilcloth
>throw it away and replace it b4 parents get home
>They never noticed
>Cheese was soggy not crispy

>>38304731
This, to be q honestdesu.

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>>38285621
my fucking sides

Never change /r9k/

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>Like twelve years old
>Put one of pic related in the microwave
>With the foil wrapper still on it
>BRZZZT
>Incredible flashes of blue and white fill the microwave for a split second
>Cancel the timer and remove the Rice Krispie square
>Foil wrapping has fused with its contents, making it look like the Terminator of prepackaged snacks

>be 13
>want to eat a warm muesli bar
>open packaging, place bar on a small plate and put it in the middle of the microwave
>don't know how long it would take so I just set it to ten minutes and was going to watch it
>ADHD kicks in after a couple seconds of this so I wander out of the kitchen and forget about it entirely
>8 minutes later I hear a loud crack and remember the microwave
>the plate has cracked in two and my muesli bar is now a lump of charcoal

>didn't learn how to make hardboiled eggs until a week ago
>still don't know how to make anything involving a frying pan
>don't know how to use a fucking oven
>not even to heat up those frozen pizzas that are so simple to make they're literally retard-proof
>21 years old
Kill me now.

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>8 years old
>have no idea how to use microwave
>want to heat up my lunchables
>make my smol pizzas and put them on a plate
>don't know how to set the microwave for minutes at a time
>end up heating my pizzas at 2 second intervals
>give up after a few minutes of trying and eat them barely warm

>>38288546
I TOO HAVE DONE THIS

The lightning was pretty cool desu but bar didn't taste too good

>>38293072
Microwave radiation is non ionizing

>be me 13
>Comfy breakfast restaurant near our house we go to often
>Prefer boiled eggs
>When I get them, they're cold as fuck
>Complain
>Waitress takes them to heat them up
>Apparently she put them in the microwave for like 3 minutes.
>Gets eggs, they're got now
>When I'm about to eat my first egg, or fucking explodes
>Shriek
>Suddenly my other egg explodes too.
>Have nasty egg yolk all over me
>Never get refund
>We never go back

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>be 12
>put some food on the microwave for about 2 minutes
>forgot to take the fork out of the plate with the food
>decide to go watch tv while I wait
>10 seconds after I heard a extremly loud explosion
>the microwave was open in half, door was missing
>there was food on the celling
>there were fragments of the plate and microwave door stuck at the wall across the kitchen
>mfw half of the people living in the building came knocking my door

>>38305069
did you tell her its not her fault desu and get in

>>38310153
my dad says they say that to sell more microwaves there is proof that people with microwaves have more chance of cancer

just now
>microwaving left over spaghetti sauce
>set it up for 2 minutes
>hearing popping sounds
>spaghetti sauce all over the microwave
mommy cleaned it for me

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>Be kid
>want to make popcorn
>put in microwave for 2 minutes
>accidentally set it for 20 minutes
>go to my room and wait for it to beep
>after a while it doesn't beep, i go to the kitchen
>smoke all around the kitchen coming from the microwave
>open the microwave door and feel like a soldier in WWI without a gas mask
>scared that my parents would find out i unplugged it and went to my room
> smells awful, still smoke coming out of it so I turn my fan on to disperse it
>now my room is all smoky so I put the microwave on my window sill and open the window
> smoke still getting inside my room so I grab it with my two hands and hold it out of the window
>underestimated how heavy it would be just holding it with my hands
> microwave drops from window
>hits ground
>breaks
>run out to get it
> at this point the microwave is just parts
>scarred to the point of shitting my pants I put it in my neighbors trash pile
> parents wake up next morning
> ask where the fuck the microwave is
> they look outside
>see it in the neighbors trash
>shitstorm ensues with neighbors
>they deny it
>mfw they never found out.

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>>38293472
Was the plate with the pie inside the refrigerator ? If it was. Cold shit like glass and plastic explodes with the microwave.

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>put cinamon bun in the microwave
>go back to playing oblivion and forget to check on it
>hear a gunshot from inside the house
>somehow the plate exploded

>>38308788
Life would be simple if everyone did something as easy as RTFM.

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>be me at work
>didnt want to wake up but had to
>only grabbed ramen cup for foods
>new flavor/type
>didn't read label
>insert in microwave
>put on for 3 minutes
>pop.mp3
>that's not good
>open microwave
>mfw the water in the cup melted the foam cup

>>38286217
why the FUCK would you put plastic into the microwave.....

>>38289767
>tard aIert

>>38292824
nah cunt EYE DON'T THINK EYE WANT TO

>>38291990
not really I just thought I'd bait my hook with that description because I'd get more (ewes)
it's all true though

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>>38299235
My good anon, you seem to be alone in this

>>38289220
Wouldn't that make it today, anon?

>>38299266
"Tradition" brought in by r*dditors a few years ago

>>38314318
ramen is very tasty and original in 3 minutes flat

>>38290168
One time i found a snek caught in one of those glue traps my parents left in our garage

Snek couldn't move, it just laid there ,occasionally poking it's tongue out

I saw that it's skin was separating from it's body where it touched the glue, probably because snek struggled when it first got caught

I tried to cut snek out but saw it was futile because of how bad the skin damage was. I threw the trap with snek as hard as i could into the forest because of how angry and frustrated I was that i couldn't free him. Now I'm crying thinking of how snek was probably so exhausted from fighting against the glue to the point it ripped it's own skin that it couldn't do anything but flick it's tongue, consigned to a painful fate

Poor, poor snek

>>38308788
Well how about you try and learn, retard, could it be that that's how everybody ends up being able to use them?

>>38314918

;_;

poor snek

>>38288091
>>38287873
>be me
>decide to make meme
>its spicy
>hot enough to fry my computer
>smoke fills the entire house
>dad comes barreling in thinking I'm burning the house down

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>be 7
>unaware of the harmful danger of microwaves
>want to microwave some food
>set the time and press start
>put my face right up to the microwave and watch food heat up
>would often make physical contact between the window and my forehead while waiting
>do this usually whenever i microwave something
>grow up to 12 in sixth grade
>learn this is bad for you and that I have been potentially harming myself
>stop doing it
>remember doing this all those years
>nobody told me

>>38293357
This guy is probably dead

>>38299235
It's tradition, you newfag. I bet you don't even remember when r9k was Robot 9000 instead of 9001, back when it was basically the greentext story board.
>>38314806
>greentext-related thing
>brought in by redditors
okay

>>38292572
yes i do. god tier show

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>be my adult self
>have never fucked up using something as simple as a microwave since I'm not autistic.

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>>38315730
>posts kawaii anime reaction images on 4chan
>brags about being able to use a microwave on 4chan
>thinks he's not autistic

>be in 8th grade
>end of the year art party
>I need to make popcorn bc I'm the TA
>go to main office
>test and find that popcorn takes 3:30 in main office to pop
>get kicked out bc some teacher wants the microwave
>go to teacher's lounge to make last 2 bags
>put first bag in microwave
>set for 3:30
>3:30 passes
>open microwave
>greeted by billowing smoke
>set off fire alarm
>whole school evacuated
>walks up to principal crying, "sorry... I think I had the power on high"

I got a shout out during 8th-grade graduation and in the yearbook. Would include the pic: but can't find my box of old yearbooks.

Is it true that you can get cancer from looking into a microwave while its cooking? Because that information has influenced the ways I use microwaves heavily.

>>38285137
Triggered over microwaves, are we anon ??