Psychological Issues #91

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https://youtu.be/8LSgAcN7uiU

Tonight's theme is all 80's and

e s t h e t i c

>>38279798
>80's

FUCK YES!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56HSPQHSqEE

Also how are you? I haven't asked you that for some time now.

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>>38279739
This general has been going on for more than 90 threads. How successful has it been in helping individuals through psychological problems?

https://youtu.be/LYOtZvwNCsc
80s yow

>>38279892

Had therapy just before. Eating fish right now, put my lenses on just before, still blurry vision. Mildly depressed.

You?

>>38280100
hey there
i feel like i fuck up in everything but i sometimes think its societies fault for being just too complicated and being in harmony with nature. do you agree?

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>>38280146
I meant in general about the depression. You said that if you are spending a lot of time here, that means you're getting worse. And you've been spending a lot of time here lately. Just wondering.

As for me, not much. Finished watching the Matrix. Didn't get the part where Neo came back to live after Trinity kissed him. The only thing out of the whole movie I didn't really buy. Also ordered a book (pic. related).

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>>38280036

Considering it's 100% free, pretty good. People will tell you. Many are ongoing, here and by e-mail. Many are now in therapy. I'll post some testimonies.

>>38280100

I listened to this in loop when things went wrong. It's a great album.

>>38280174
>i sometimes think its societies fault for being just too complicated and being in harmony with nature. do you agree?

"Society" is always a red flag to me, because it's very imprecise, which allows any and all attacks.

I'd agree that we're living in ways we haven't necessarily evolved for, but it's not always a negative thing. If you have concrete examples, I can discuss these.

dat sum baller music today.

i need a haircut, considering going for something new.
any suggestions?
also how do i know what kinda haircut is modern and how do i know what looks good on me?

>>38280036
I think it has helped me. I have less angry outbursts. Less suicidal thoughts. I can still get pretty damn negative and hateful if I don't guard myself. All these hateful and bitter thoughts just pop into my head and sometimes after for example 20 minutes I realize what I'm thinking about and stop. Before I wouldn't stop. I'd just keep going and going and only thing that would reset me is getting blackout drunk or having an angry outburst. Usually both and in that order.

So yeah. I'm not healthy, but I think I'm better now. I actually haven't been drunk for two weeks now. This is probably not a nice post to screenshot and show as an achievement, but hey. It's how it is.

>>38280183
>I meant in general about the depression. You said that if you are spending a lot of time here, that means you're getting worse. And you've been spending a lot of time here lately. Just wondering.

I think I'm mostly OK now. The situation isn't all that different, but the mental landscape is much easier now. I enjoy coming here, and I'm able to watch movies and enjoy them, so there's that.

As to Neo living again, since he's kind of Christ, it makes sense for him to come back from the dead, be seen by a woman he was close to, and be gone again. I forget the details in the movie though.

Hot book.

>>38280319

You discuss this with your haidresser. They have studied to know what looks good on your type of face. My suggestion is to say what you want in general, and let them choose for you. Trust them, they know what they're doing.

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Facet's endorsement.

>>38280246
cool, it always gave me a boost too. esprcially looking up to a way things could be like they rarely were

>>38280386
That's always good to hear, about the mental landscape I mean.

Yeah the thing about him being a god is not really what I understand. Maybe I'm thinking too much about it. I actually liked how they foreshadowed that the oracle is lying to him (about not being the chose one) when he broke the vase. I never noticed that before.

About the book, I tried to through the book before, but I didn't really pay a lot of attention to the exercises which was dumb as fuck. Exercises are where the magic happens. I'm not very good in proof writing though, even though I did some in the university.

>>38280401
>let them choose for you.
well fuck me, stuff like this always sets of some sort of panic within me.

>>38280183
i was more bothered by neo getting super powers in the real world. up until that point everything could be explained by future logics, then it turned in to just magic.
as to him coming back from the dead, he died in the matrix so inspite of the whole bleeding from the mouth thing his body didnt take any actual damage.

>>38280508
>as to him coming back from the dead, he died in the matrix so inspite of the whole bleeding from the mouth thing his body didnt take any actual damage.
Oh yeah that's right. Morpheus said that "your mind makes it real", so I guess being the chosen one is having a mind that doesn't make you dying in the matrix real. Or actually a mind that can make anything real in the matrix.

It's been quite a long time since I saw the movies, I only watched the first one. Gonna watch reloaded today. So I'll see how that goes.

>>38280508
>i was more bothered by neo getting super powers in the real world. up until that point everything could be explained by future logics, then it turned in to just magic.

When I saw that, I got super hyped because I thought it meant the real world was in fact another layer of virtual reality. I was very excited. But it wasn't that.

The reason Neo has "magic" powers is simple: after mixing with Smith, he gets to control the machines. That's all he can do in the real world, nothing else. He becomes a hybrid of two worlds or something and that makes him the savior of both humans and machines.

>>38280314
hm yee of course but we are meant function as one collective therefore i think its ok to see it like that

example is medicine, cuz i know about alternative healing methods with mind force or symbols and such things against things like chemotherapy which are actually just harmful
also i can imagine humans from old ages were further than we are if u look at early high cultures and their mysteries

>>38280563
i havent seen any of them in years, so i might remember a lot of things wrong. feel free to correct me when you've seen the others again.

>>38280632
>That's all he can do in the real world
nooo, he gets some sort of super vision. his eyes got fucked up for some reason but he could still see trinity and the sun above the clouds.

Evening all. Here's a fun video that I watched earlier today, and I just had to bring it up in this general. It has to do with the nature of internet shit-flinging, threats and intimidation, and also veganism. There's a good mix of the science stuff if you're interested in the nutritional aspect (though the video is opposed to veganism, fair warning) and a particularly incendiary section on hypocrisy and animal care.

I'd recommend watching up until after the section on the dog; it tapers off after that. But in any case, the specimen in this video, as it rolls on, would probably give anyone in this thread a run for their money in terms of coming off as an absolute 1000 yard stare psychopath, and this is coming from someone with some dark moments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qypbmW9I3qo

>>38280662
>example is medicine, cuz i know about alternative healing methods with mind force or symbols and such things against things like chemotherapy which are actually just harmful

That's how Steve Jobs died. Had he done chemo, he'd be alive today. I know of other people who went for alternative medicine and just died 30 to 40 years before what they could hope for.

>also i can imagine humans from old ages were further than we are if u look at early high cultures and their mysteries

I used to be into that sort of stuff, but I no longer believe that. Humans are smart, that's for sure, but we also have a tendency to look down upon current humans and current technology and everything, even though what we do nowadays is completely amazing, so much so that most of us can't even understand just how amazing our own technology is.

>>38280745
>nooo, he gets some sort of super vision. his eyes got fucked up for some reason but he could still see trinity and the sun above the clouds.

I was wondering about the vision. I'm not sure how to explain that one.

>>38280751
>Czechoslovakian wolf-dog

FUCK YEAH! That breed is mentioned in the video. My grandfather actually had one of these. The dog was pretty fucking ruthless from what I've heard. Loyal, very low pain tolerance and high endurance.

It's so funny hearing these people talk about how they'd like to shoot someone. I'd actually fucking like to see them do it. Honestly the vegan just doesn't seem like he has it in him. He's playing it. That's my opinion anyways. With some people you can just tell they're not going to do anything even if they are threatening your life.

>>38280980
Keep watching if you love the wolf-dog my friend.

>>38280809
as far as i assume maybe all that is a result of a corrupted mind. he did drugs which are also a gate for demons in my eyes. not that they cant help you with depression or such but theres just more than we can see, so at what cost. i wanna reaerch about this case.

yes its pretty sick what we reached and stonehenge didnt bring ppl into space but i believe that they were more in contact with deities whats interesting and theres no conflict with modern technology becauses its based in math anyway and i think universe is logic mind itself

>>38281097
>which are also a gate for demons in my eyes.

Let's address the elephant in the room: do you believe in demons, deities, and other supernatural entities?

If so, why?

I keep having these thoughts in my head and imagine that my mom or dad die in an accident or get killed somehow, then i imagine what life is like after and i get really sad and cry. I also do this with myself if i had commited suicide or if i went missing for a while, to try and picture everyones reactions and i get really fucking depressed. i dont know why i do it though

>>38281155
dude lmao kill yourself lmao haha

>>38281190
>I also do this with myself if i had commited suicide or if i went missing for a while, to try and picture everyones reactions and i get really fucking depressed. i dont know why i do it though

I believe that's part of suicide ideation. I've often done that when I was very depressed and wanted to "suicide a little"; I liked imagining the aftermaths of my death, in a bad way.

Chances are you're more depressed than you realise.

Do this test:

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

>>38281190
>Really upset imagining that your parents are dead
Wew, I can't imagine that at all

>>38281091
I have no idea how they managed to do that. That is to make the dog sick by feeding it wrong. I've seen dogs eat every fucking thing you can imagine really, never heard about a dog being sick from bad food (assuming he was being fed) other than if someone intentionally poisoned him. Let alone a fucking dog that is made by breeding a german sheppard with a goddamn wolf.

You can just tell they are on a whole other level of retarded. Well he is. She probably isn't.

>>38281277

You should WANT them to be dead. That's your beacon for recovery. As long as you fear losing them, you haven't recovered.

>>38281277
What a shock that is.

>>38281155
i had some experiences with supernatural stuff happening even could see something on pics i made but i dont have them anymore :( well like i said i fucked up many things

>>38281299

Have you tried chocolate?

Or is that cats...

>>38281299
It did seem as though she realised that she was in a bad situation and likely didn't dare speak up, for her sake as much as for his.

>>38281332
>>38281316
Fair enough laddos. However, I don't feel strongly either way. I don't want them to be dead particularly, but I wouldn'#t regret it if they were. It would likely be a relief. More than anything, I just don't like people I care about interacting with them, though they mostly behave. Stresses me out pretty seriously.

>>38281350
>i had some experiences with supernatural stuff happening

Have you considered these might have been hallucinations instead? Can you describe them?

>>38281259
Depresion 36, Anxiety 36, Stress 33

A lot of the stuff on there was quite accurate to what I feel, the dry mouth, difficulty swallowing, nervous tension, impatient with everything. I've had bad anxiety and panic attacks before but did not feel depressed.

>>38281277
It's just that it was so detailed and vivid that I couldn't believe that I was thinking of something like that, different scenarios all the time. My reaction afterwards was so vivid too, crying, anger, throwing stuff at the wall, running away from everyone, etc

>>38279739
Hey Nick and company! Finally found the thread again!

>>38281380
Yeah I've heard about that. But I don't think that's true. My first dog ate chocolate too. Also when someone left their coffee unsupervised he'd drink that even though that's apparently very bad for dogs. He actually lived pretty long and died because of a non-digestive issue.

>>38281382
>didn't dare speak up, for her sake as much as for his.
Seems to be exactly what's happening. You can tell by her voice she's cracking up a little when talking about it. Kinda her fault for letting herself be intimidated in this way.

>>38281411

Very high levels. Depression isn't always obvious, but you're insanely depressed right now. That test is very good. A few months ago, my depression was at 42, and I'm very familiar with anxiety and all that crap.

>>38281440

Sup Coats?

Apparently, that was not original. Maybe I said it before already. Who knows. And this isn't a blox post by any stretch of the imagination, so spare me.

oh no lmao nick skipped me lmao haha kill yourself please

>>38281461
Is it natural not to show it? I do feel a bit depressed and down all the time when i'm alone and have bad thoughts about myself. But as soon as i'm with my closest friends it's almost like I have a mask on and I seem and act happy, like nothing is wrong, and no one would ever notice a thing

>>38281411
Sounds like Imp of the Mind stuff to me: fixating on something that you find hideous and difficult to imagine, and agonising over it, and then feeling guilty for doing so. It feeds into itself. You unintentionally give it power because it horrifies and upsets you. You know that you shouldn't think about it but you do, precisely for that reason.

>>38281444
What could she possibly do? She's likely afraid of him, and with good reason. He's an unstable bodybuilder twice her size.

>>38281507

That's fine, the question is whether you actually feel happier among friends, or if you're faking it very well. It's possible you do feel better around people, while still being depressed.

I've cried among people and nobody noticed shit. People don't really pay much attention unless they're talking to you, you to them, or unless they're in love with you.

>>38281444
You have to feed it around 30 grams of chocolate per kg of weight that your dog has to actually kill it

>>38281511
>What could she possibly do? She's likely afraid of him, and with good reason. He's an unstable bodybuilder twice her size.
Well stuff like this is usually solved by the woman's family. Father, brothers, cousins. Maybe that's a slavic thing though.

Only problem is women often don't speak up even to their family, because these things do get rather violent.

>>38281478
Laughs, apparently we are repeating ourselves. How are you doing today? I thought I was doing well until I did that test you linked rex and saw I had 37 Depression, 36 Anxiety, and 36 Stress. Now I think I am stressed out trying to think about what I am stressed about.

dude lmao haha stop ignoring me haha kill yourself nick haha

>>38281396
yes i considered them being tricks of my mind and the photos might have a distortion on them but it happened not just once so idk
i was at a graveyard when i suddenly notice something in the leave crown of a tree, it looked slight like a shadow and i had to stare into it and it felt like something was reading my mind and basically i think i was seeing the afterlife. other event was when i saw some purple fluid trying to friendly contact me from outer space but i was high on weed at that point so probably a hallucination yea but who knows

>>38281561

Riddle me this: you think you're OK, but when you do the test, you respond sincerely, and you get insanely depressed results. It's exactly as if you didn't connect your symptoms with how you are doing.

How does the disconnect feel? I mean, how is it not to instantly know how you're doing based on the evidence you have? Do you feel like you can manually connect?

37 is damn high.

>>38281561
Hey. Are you Psycho by any chance?

By the way I did the test too, for the first time.

Got 25 Depression, 23 Anxiety, 35 Stress

So I guess I'm more stressed than depressed, lol.

>>38281539
Oh that probably explains it. It was a quite big dog (like 40 kilos) so I would have to feed him over a kilo of chocolate. I don't think I've ever eaten that much myself.

>>38281595

Sure is interesting stuff!

Any other example of society not being good for humans?

>>38281616
I just have a pessimistic outlook on life, so questions like "there is nothing to look forward to" or "life has no meaning" pretty much fits my beliefs. I always have noticed my heartbeat and often worry of it going too fast and dying early. I cannot stand still without falling over, my hands have trouble staying stationary, my mouth is always dry, and my hands feel rather sweaty as a general rule. I have also talked about my paranoia of control and how I torture myself with my OCD. I also find I cannot handle chaotic situations, I get easily triggered by people whistling or talking. The problem with this test is that it was basically describing traits about me and assuming that was depression/anxiety/stress.

>>38281619
Indeed I am Dan. York suggested this name, so I have been running with it since.

I admit to feeling depressed due to my OCD, anxious due to society in general, and stressed due to the realization that my OCD is driving me into the ground. But this isn't an all the time thing, I distract myself with happiness too much to be depressed.

>>38281764

I wish Meta would still come, he has some similar issues, notably the OCD.

>my beliefs

Be sure to consider this your depression, not your beliefs, because you'd not have them if you weren't suffering from depression.

>>38281664
was exciting but freightning too
actually the way we treat house animals and farm animals different
i guess native americans are a idol here i think they would have eaten anything but worshipped every being

>>38281839
So what you are saying is that it is my depression that states that life is nothing but a miserable existence where the human body slowly ages and decays until its body rots enough that it collapses and that anything else is but a mere distraction from this truth?

>>38281839
I reached out to him recently, to no avail. Hopefully he will return.

>>38281881

Yes.

Having been on either side of that fence many times, I confirm that yes. Brain bits that focus on fear are completely overstimulated, so you constantly feel like death is just around the corner and everything seems futile.

>>38281913

I wrote him but never got a response.

Same with "Ethan", but by now I think Ethan was a troll.

>>38281922
Hmm. Seems the reservoirs run even deeper. Now I know I am heavily living with depression and don't even know it. How do I fix this?

dude lmao stop ignoring me and kill yourself haha

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I took the autism test and this is what I got. I believe I am on the spectrum but I don't know how severe

>>38281922

I do wonder about Ethan from time to time. If he was sincere then I hope that he is well. If he was a troll, it was nice that he was able to elicit some feeling from me; a moving piece of fiction.

>>38281960

Connect, connect.

The way I made this work with others was by asking tons of questions, so the person would look for answers, and connect. Maybe if you focus on digging, on trying to understand as much as you can, things will unlock.

We can try some fun exercises. I make them up as we go (and then I find out my therapist uses them...).

You're in a white room, no windows, nothing except a door. Some people bring something into the room. What is it?

>>38281975
Perhaps you just need a friend. Hello. I didn't ignore you. I see you are fascinated by suicide. An interesting topic, though a hobby I have never really tried myself.

>>38282007
dude lmao try it it's great

>>38281980

Don't assume you're an autist, I'm skeptical about that test.

Do this:

https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/

>>38282006
An item in an entirely white room? A spiked leash.

>>38281820
So it was you. I though so, must have missed the thread where you started using the name. I didn't think you'd just leave.

Anyways calling suicide a hobby that you have never tried is pretty hilarious.

>>38282039
>A spiked leash.

All right! Shit, man, that's something. What made you think of a spiked leash?

>>38282033
I hope you are one of those that actually practices what he preaches as opposed to just being a coward who wants others to live his dream. If you are so fascinated with it, I would say do it. Otherwise you aren't living your dream and in that case... what purpose is there to your life?

>>38282083
dude lmao don't bully i do it every day haha

>>38282044
No, Dan, I didn't plan on just leaving. I just am bad at hunting for these threads. On weekends I sleep a lot and end up waking up late enough where the threads tend to be archived already.

Grins, I am not one to judge another's hobby. It could be rather fun. It just isn't me. It would be like jumping out of a plane.

>>38282066
It was the first thing that came to my head. I don't know why I think what I think. I usually have a hundred thoughts going a second in my mind with seemingly no logic to them.

>>38282112
Smiles, I am glad. I hope you enjoy killing yourself anon. That is all I can ask for, your happiness.

>>38282141

I know. The exercise is about clarifying why you think what you think. It's all right.

Now, I'd like you to think about the spiked leash and tell me what comes up. These questions should help:

- what's its use?
- who is it for?
- what will be done with it?
- what colour is it?

>>38282160
it's fun bruv you should try it too tell your friends to try it too haha

>>38282112
I'm liking this gimmick, but to get real mileage out of it I want to see a storyline come out of it where you actually experience dying over and over, and it's never made entirely clear whether it's real, psychosis or perhaps something left of field, i.e. you're a malfunctioning AI created by aliens intended to provide them with insight into how humans experience death.

Also, as
>>38282160
suggests, you should begin namefagging as Smiles

>>38282189
hahaha whoa dude

>>38282189
Or maybe it's someone who is desperately trying to get attention and masks this by "trolling". Let's get real here, if he was trolling, he would have already upped his game as what he is doing doesn't have too much success.

>>38282174
The spiked leash is useful for putting a slave on it and dragging it around. The problem is that it lacks a slave. As it stands, it is virtually useless.

Have to go, will continue later.

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>>38282035
Uh-oh it seems my empathy is very low. How do you think I will be able to handle basic training?

>>38282287

Basic training for what?

>>38282283

See you soon.

>>38282266
Speaking from experience? If you're right, perhaps he'll engage more sincerely in time. Still, I have a soft spot for haha posting haha

>>38282341
>Speaking from experience?
Kinda. Maybe projecting just a little.

With regards to the ongoing struggle, my therapist said the key to my problems was in me, that I should focus on myself, and not engage with insane women anymore, roughly.

She gets in my face way more than before, but that's OK. I don't mind.

>>38282391
dude haha she wants your dick lmao

>>38282315
The us marines. It is 13 weeks of getting yelled at, treated like shit, and being exposed to rappelling off a 60 feet high tower. Which terrifies me. I am also scared of when we shed our gear underwater, because I almost drowned once when I inhaled a bunch of water in the deep end of a pool. Passed out but eventually came to. Ever since it has terrified me when I have gone underwater and opened my eyes

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>>38282447

Textless posts are not allowed. So I post this, but basically this is a textless posts. Pic related.

>>38282471

Sounds like empathy isn't your main concern here.

Try reassuring yourself with facts about safety and gradually doing things that come close to the traumatic experience, but when you're in control. Try rappelling from something else if you can, little by little. Same with the underwater stuff. Do exercises in a pool to feel in control.

>>38282480
dude lmao you're going to learn some day nick haha

>>38282391
In a way she's right. Your LO had some problems obviously as far as mental health goes. This doesn't mean it makes her a bad person, just that living with such a person can be more difficult. And if you add some problems if your own, she's just trying to make sure that you don't put too much on your plate.

I wouldn't think there is anything vicious in what she said.

Since I stopped drinking I've been downing diet coke after diet coke. I wouldn't be surprised if I've had 10 cans by the end of the day. It can't be healthy. Probably moreso than the same, only with vodka and energy drinks as well. Two weeks now, anyway. Haven't got down the gym yet but I do think I might be feeling a little more energy perhaps. Another week and perhaps I'll see some physical changes.

>>38282471
>rappelling off a 60 feet high tower
Would love to do that desu

>>38282519

dude lmao what would I learn from you haha

>>38282528

Oh no, there's nothing vicious or even mean in anything she said. I'm aware that the only reason I put up with what others wouldn't have put up with is because I am not the normal flavour of humans. She got into my face for other things, where we don't exactly agree.

Her idea is that I should find someone sane.

>>38282532

If you drink that much coke, go for zero.

>>38282571
you'll find out soon enough teehee dude lmao haha xd

>>38282627

dude lmao how soon haha

>>38282600
And it's a good idea. Relationships can be exhausting at times. And that goes double for people who have mental problems, these relationships probably exhaust even more. For two people who are in one way or another fucked up in the head to be together means they will exhaust each other and ultimately just end up worse off.

That's my opinion anyways.

>>38282607
Tastes a little bit plasticky. Also, it's not that I would rather drink coca cola. Diet is the only one I enjoy the taste of. It's just convenient that it's low calorie.

>>38282600
Can't imagine how it would be to be with a sane person. I actually don't think it's ever happened. It would be too difficult to relate to them. Probably boring too.

>>38282651
haha watch your back nick

>>38282676

The difference is that the "fuckness" on my side is about going to whatever length necessary to help, being patient as fuck. In my relationship, this meant that I'd spend anywhere from 5 to 10 hours, weekly, talking about my fiancee's problems with her. For 7 years. I never imagined having anyone else, so I liked "working" with her. Now I'm attached to her like you would be to your own child.

>>38279739
Hey, I'm here.
Here's your 80's music. https://youtu.be/EqzwfqNcbJ0

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>>38282683
>Can't imagine how it would be to be with a sane person. I actually don't think it's ever happened. It would be too difficult to relate to them. Probably boring too.

My own guess is that they'd run away. That is, if they got that close, which I doubt.

I'm going to return to Catholicism, make Mary my spiritual waifu and never pull on my noodle ever again.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that my life isn't going where I thought it'd go for two reasons.
> Last year, my family was killed in a car accident and I think I'm starting to feel the full effects of it in 2017 after a year of mostly repressing it, probably crying over it 4 times in total
> I'm not living the lifestyle I always wanted, I wanted to be working on being an art, getting with someone who was also a part of that world, and I wanted to live in a nice ass apartment. The real life grind, however, is killing me because it gives me absolutely no time for that and just makes me into a wagecuck
I just feel insane a lot these days and I have a martyr complex because the sudden death of my family is a serious normie problem, but there's also the more robotic feels of having to interact with people I don't like on a daily basis for my literal survival. No parents means no casually taking off work for years at a time, I have to be present and act like I care about anything.

Two nights ago, the people I thought were my friends finally revealed (accidentally) that they had just put up with me because they had to, and now that high school is over they can just discard me. There are now two people on this entire planet I can call friends. Life fucking sucks having autism.

>>38282712

DUDE LMAO THERE WAS A HUGE FAGGOT BEHIND ME HAHA

He just wanted to get fucked. Now he's happy.

>>38282822

You may very well be in shock after losing your people.

Describe what you think is your martyr complex; I sense that you might be much harsher on yourself than you realise.

>>38282861
haha get prank'd now kill yourself lmao

>>38282768
That sounds extremely exhausting. I'm sure you liked it, but in this way I agree with what she told you. You need a break. Imagine you're training for a marathon. One day you fuck up, make a wrong step and injure your knee badly. Do you think it would be a good idea to immediately start running again the moment you can first walk without crutches? And it doesn't matter if you like running, it's just not a good idea.

Though obviously I understand the attachment. I'm speaking more generally.

>>38282825
>my friends finally revealed (accidentally) that they had just put up with me because they had to

Explain that in more details.

>>38282905

dude lmao I'm ignoring you again now haha

>>38282935
you're really bad at it haha you replied lmao

>>38279739
Well, nevermind. I see that you're kind of getting better. That's good.

>>38282803
Tell me about your porn. I bet you have some intriguing tastes.

Open question, by the way. Just watching Joe Rogan, so I wonder what people actually are into, and whether they're ashamed about it. Dan has to be into rape and a bit of femdom or even cuck on the sly.
>Inb4 Nick lies and says he only likes missionary/ doesn't watch porn or something
Actually I reckon he's into FFM/FFF+M

>>38282821
It would be very difficult, and it would certainly be a question of trying to 'trick' them into believing I was normal. It'd be an extension of all that public face, inoffensive, unthreatening, smiling, liking Pirates of the Carribean and playing five-a-side on a work team or some horrible bullshit. If I were ever in that position, I would have to try to drive her insane just so that I could be more comfortable around her.

>>38282907
>That sounds extremely exhausting. I'm sure you liked it

It was painful. She had cycles. She'd get extremely upset and would be very aggressive, for the slightest thing. The first few times I was terrified, because I was certain this meant the relationship was over, since I would not get into such states unless it meant the end. But after ten times, I figured it was the same cycle. She'd get angry, then later or the following day, she'd apologise profusely. Sometimes this got worse, but in the end, it got better. The two months before the apocalypse were the most peaceful.

>>38282974
>Inb4 Nick lies and says he only likes missionary/ doesn't watch porn or something
>Actually I reckon he's into FFM/FFF+M

I am not! Maybe you mean my having two women at the same time and my BBQ's with workmates...

You're baiting me. I will not tell you my dirty secrets.

>trying to 'trick' them into believing I was normal.

Even I can tell you aren't normal. Don't even count on it, normies will never fall for it.

>>38282935
In HS, I was part of a friend group that ate lunch together and occasionally did shit outside of school. After school was out, absolute radio silence in the planning chat. I just learned that they made a new one and invited everyone to it, simply to get rid of me because you can't kick someone off a Hangouts chat. There are people in the group who legitimately like me, but they're afraid to show it in any way because then _they'll_ get ostracized.

>>38283026
No shit you can tell, we've been talking for months. I have an inkling that you're right and that normies can tell, but I also believe that it's just a matter of becoming more sophisticated; in learning and developing my persona. Practice makes perfect.

>>38283058

Any idea what they dislike about you?

Hello everyone, I've been busy as hell in past few days. Hope I didnt miss anything super amazing or something.

I spent the weekend with my family in a different city for a birthday party of my uncle.
I used to go there every summer and spend a few weeks with my other uncle, super cool dude.
For some reason when I was falling asleep in that place I almost started crying again.
Dont know why remembering childhood makes mi feel so miserable

How was your weekend guys?

>>38283068
>No shit you can tell, we've been talking for months.

I could tell from your voice the first time I heard it, that's what I meant.

Practice won't change anything, because it's precisely about not doing anything on purpose, the harder you try, the weirder it'll seem.

>>38282974
>Tell me about your porn.
This is a good way to start the thread. I've jacked it too quite a bit of things. A lot are pretty degenerate. Started off normal, vanilla porn, then I checked out sleeping porn, rape, even looked at pedophilia, but not for too long, because I don't want to fuck myself up with that. Watched gay, tranny, trap, along with others. Since then I've gone back to vanilla, but I watch trap every once in a while. I wasn't really into gay porn. I like the female form.

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>>38279739

I masterbate roughly 6-8 times a day. At this point I think it is sort of an addiction.

I dont have a job, have no friends. I go out by myself most of the time.

When I do fap I mostly fap too 2D stuff, and the chicks I find that are attractive are sleeping with chad thundercocks.

Should I just continue to masterbate? I do enjoy it.

>>38282974
>Dan has to be into rape and a bit of femdom or even cuck on the sly.
I'm not actually into femdom or cuck. That stuff is just goddamn retarded.

Other than that, I'd say it if I wasn't using a tripcode, but like this. No.

>>38283164

Try to masturbate less, see what happens. Don't you get hurt? Do you do it to escape a state of general discomfort?

>>38283166
>Other than that, I'd say it if I wasn't using a tripcode, but like this. No.

Cocktease. Now you have to tell us everything.

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>>38282974
>I wonder what people actually are into

Fur
BESTiality
Loli
Passionate

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>>38283213

Roll time: if dubs to this post, I share my most intense sexual fantasy. Brace, bitches.

>>38283204
If I were to, you'd probably be having a field day about it. Oh well. I already said a lot. And I'm not as bad as Eh for sure.

Rape
Tall
MILF
Small breasts

Any combination of these and I'm sold.

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>>38283194

Yeah this is where it gets sort of tough.

Ive tried to stop masterbating, but I have not passed the three day mark. I've been probably jerking it off daily since I was atleast 16. I'm now 24.

Do I get hurt? Nope. I probably do it to get the feeling of sexual satisfaction. Which makes it tough for me.

If I had a buddy system so I could talk to somebody like those people do for drunks I think Id stand a better chance. But I do not.

>>38283263
>Tall

Meaning 230 cm?

>>38283247
Is the pic. related? I hope it's not. For your sake.

>>38283247
Give me dubs kek. Please.

>>38283288
Roughly about 5'9+

Not giant.

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>>38283124
Hmmmmmm, don't like the sound of that much. For one thing I was drunk plus it wasn't me talking to you (probably). Anyway, I dunno I think I can 'pass', to use the trans people's term - if only for while. Like a Thai hooker where it takes you a little bit to notice the Adam's apple or the unusually large high heels. Just to point it out though, you're kind of saying I'm fucked. What else can I do but reinvest in my acting?

>>38283123
I've been keeping the insults rolling, don't worry. Here's today's:
>Hey Atlas! If you ever got married you'd have to wear a bracelet on those bologna fingers, you meat muffin mongoloid.

As to your actual points:

It's good that you had a nice time for the most part. However, it does make me wonder whether there might be some stuff that you've blocked out. Failing that though, it could just be nostalgia and regretting where you're at in your life.

>>38283127
Fair enough then. I think a certain amount of degeneracy comes with the territory. On 4chan it's surely the rule and not the exception.

>>38283269

You can easily find a support group for no fap. I can probably direct you to some channesque Christian groups who have such support generals in their board. Don't fap for Jesus and such, but if you're willing to stop pulling, they'd help you regardless.

There may be someone else here with the same issue. We try to make people team up when they have comparable problems.

>>38283298

It's not. I just wanted an image to make the post stand out. This is the last animu I watched with LO. We weren't really watching it together, but I got interested. That giant is so nice. Gave me feels.

>>38283337
>We try to make people team up when they have comparable problems.
This might really take a wrong turn...

There is this term in my language that is used humorously, it roughly translates as "cross-fapping". It involves two guys. Try to guess what it means and how it relates to what you said.

>>38283166
My line of thinking is that people tend to get off to what they find the most objectionable since it represents a personal taboo. I understand you not coming out and saying whatever it is though.

>>38283213
Now this is the kind of response I expect from an anonymous poster.

>>38283321
>you're kind of saying I'm fucked. What else can I do but reinvest in my acting?

I think you'll change when you get better, don't worry. These things happen naturally. If you could relax around people, it'd also make you less threatening. May sound contradictory, but if you didn't feel the need to on your guard, others wouldn't feel like there's danger around either.

>>38283103
I've stopped trying to figure that out. I'm 100% used to it by now. Nobody wants an autist in their friend group. But this was the last one, when I was the most normal I've ever been.

>>38283321
Hello Facet

>it could just be nostalgia and regretting where you're at in your life.

I think this is it, Im pretty sure that remembering how great everything used to me just makes me feel worse

>>38283380

That's a fun term. It's always good to give each other a hand.

>>38282898
I have always been that person who tries not to make people feel like shit about their life choices. Even when I privately judge, I can say that I give really solid advice and never try to seem "more than" others. Despite being there for a number of people, I feel like I haven't been granted the same slack. Some people in my life think that I'm this sensitive, delicate whiny flower whenever I do have a problem that can't be resolved with jus b yourself. I've been called entitled before. I'm just confused as to what I think I'm entitled to, and this only seems to come up when I specifically ask for help or something. Throughout my life, I've gone through poverty, getting evicted from the family home, hoping an aunt might drop by with some food, and now going from having three people in my home to fucking no family, having to live with roommates and work a shitty job I hate. The way I see it, anyone else would have killed themselves in my position. I've comforted my roastie roommate a few times because her boyfriend cheated on her or some shit. But when it comes to me, I'm always getting ripped on or being called spoiled for really minor shit. It's always people who have never gone through shit telling everyone else how they should pick their life up.

>>38283398

I'd recommend not getting too stuck on the autism diagnostic. Chances are you have nothing autistic about you. Poor social skills aren't always related to autism.

Give me some situations.

>>38283391
Yeah I get you. This thread actually reminded me of this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WxU9Fw9TxY

Mind you, they weren't talking about sexual fantasies.

>>38283433

I see. It sounds like you try to help others but they don't try to help you. Maybe they think that, since you're good at helping, and they may not be, they don't even think they can do anything for you.

Do you think that's possible?

>>38283396
I wonder if that woman I struggle with at work considers me threatening. I make an effort to appear non-threatening but the underlying tension could easily be somewhat transparent, especially when I become stressed out.

>>38283443
Not that I don't enjoy this thread, but please don't tell me I'm not actually autistic. I've been through too much shit and had too many problems to believe I'm just 'differently normal'. The combination of missed social cues and the attitude from them of 'you're not cool and will never be' is the majority of it. The majority of the group aren't dicks like that, but a couple of people who are socially a chad are the 'leaders' of the group, despite never actually showing up to any lunches, and anyone who feels sorry for me can't stand up for me because then they'll get ostracized too, like I said. A couple of them already hate me because of one thing I said at one time or another, and most of them would just rather hang out with people who aren't autistic.

>>38283536
>I make an effort to appear non-threatening

That's terrifying.

>It's OK, kid, it's just candy.
>I'm not really a shark in a suit, man, I'm not even hungry right now!
>Don't be afraid, don't be afraid!

>>38283528
I never thought about that. But what about the fact that they think I'm entitled just because of minor things.

My roastie roommate once told me that I'm entitled because I ask if others will help me take the trash down from our third story apartment. I get so riled up at this stuff, and I know it's not healthy to start thinking about how shitty my life is just because someone implied I'm acting like a little princess. Bare minimum, I hate the fact that I hold grudges, I get so mad and then I want to hurt someone or myself.

>>38283624
Oops, forgot tripfag. This is still me.

>>38283624
>but please don't tell me I'm not actually autistic.

I'm not denying the symptoms and that you aren't like the others, I'm only asking you to suspend the strictly autistic thing, because the issue may be completely different.

It seems to me the issue is socialising, not brain malfunctions. I assume your childhood wasn't a dream.

>>38283642

Do you suspect yourself of helping others so they owe you?

>>38282974
What about you Facet, what's your porn?

>>38283631
I do, honestly. I have to. I soften my voice, even subtly feminise my manner perhaps. I wouldn't say I come off camp but an approximation of the 'new normal', which is to say the man-bunned, manicured tossers that pass for male these days. Men ashamed of masculinity. Constant smiling sing-song tossers with no souls whatsoever. People who say they're having a peachy day or whatever the fuck. God, I hate people.

>>38283678
A many-splendoured thing, more nuanced than there are stars in the sky.

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Am I the only one feeling bad today?

How come I get back here after a few days and everyone seems fine and talks about porn

>>38283678

Roaming around the forests of Alaska, naked, save for steel-toed boots, armed with an erection fuelled by a dozen viagra pills, looking for a bear to assassinate with said erection. The D has a little pointy helmet, like a miniature version of the helmets worn by WW1 German soldiers.

I can't be too far from it.

>>38283658
> It seems to me the issue is socialising, not brain malfunctions
I'm not sure you fully understand this. Yes the issue is socializing, _because_ I have brain malfunctions. I miss social cues and I say things without thinking.

>>38283709
>which is to say the man-bunned, manicured tossers that pass for male these days. Men ashamed of masculinity. Constant smiling sing-song tossers with no souls whatsoever. People who say they're having a peachy day or whatever the fuck. God, I hate people.

I don't imagine women like those, though.

>>38283730
>Am I the only one feeling bad today?

I'm not that good. Being "OK" to me means I'm not thinking about killing myself with a rope. I'm not on the road to happiness yet and I've stalled on my plans a lot.

You're not alone.

>>38281839
>>38281913
I'll probably return one day, but for now I don't feel up to socializing. I appreciate the concern and I should have responded to your emails.

>>38283771
>Yes the issue is socializing, _because_ I have brain malfunctions. I miss social cues and I say things without thinking.

These happen without brain malfunctions, they aren't brain malfunctions by themselves. I'm only telling you to remain open to other possibilities so you don't get stuck in a dead end and a wrong diagnostic, especially if it wasn't given to you by an expert (but even so).

Can you describe a conversation where you socially shit things up?

>>38283730
you should've seen me yesterday. today everything is fine.

i've been lurking and doing other stuff. quite enjoying the porn discussion, but hesitant to push it further.

>>38283810

Meta! STAY!

Don't go!

Every damn thread I hope you'll show up.

>>38283779
Women do seem to like them, and certainly they like working with them. I don't know why it pisses me off so much, but when I see a gangly, effeminate man with his thumbs in the goddamn thumb holes in his rucksack straps and his limp wrists with a girlfriend it just pisses me off. Like what the fuck, when did straight men start acting gay but not being gay? To be fair they're usually more smug but less shrill than that type of gay man.

>>38283810
I appreciate the response, hope you're bearing up well.

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It's a good day to suffer, eh lads?
I don't know who to believe anymore, I find it very hard to come face to face with what I really want these days.
If I as much as suggest that I want to keep living I feel somewhat angry at myself for thinking that way, and remind myself that all I want is to die.

I get angry if I feel the need to seek help, as if I want to be like this and refuse to change, as if being depressed is what I really want,
If there's a pill that permanently cures depression, I don't feel like taking it you know what I mean?
Like I'm better off like this.

I'm in the middle of a huge existential crisis and I can't go to anyone for help, because i don't want anyone's help.

It's hard to describe these thoughts through words.

I can't trust anyone anymore, not even brain.

Even if I were to continue living, all I'll spend my time doing is smoke, watch cartoons and get yelled at by my parents for being so useless.

Life doesn't have very much to offer to me anymore at this age, there's not a whole lot to do, I don't want the responsibility of engaged, I'd only be a burden to whoever want to be with me, if such a person exists, in fact I don't want any more responsibilities.

Now that I've spent 20 years on this shitty planet I don't think that things would be any better than they already are, everyone keeps saying that life isn't easy and I'll have to work hard to climb the ladder.

What if I don't want to work hard?
I've never asked to be in this life, why do I have to suffer every damn day working towards something I don't want?
Why do I have to work up to everyone's expectations?

So it's either work hard, please your boss, please your god,
Or
Burn in hell for an eternity for not working hard to please said god?

What the fuck is this shit?
I never agreed to this shitty contract.

I never planned for this rant to be this long.

In closing:
All i can do Is hope I die in my sleep tonight so I don't have to kill myself and traumatise my mother.

>>38282174
There we are, I am back. So I covered what its use is >>38282283

>Who is it for?
It would be for the person in the room on the basis that they brought it in and I am the only inhabitant. As such, it would seem they meant it for me.

>What will be done with it?
Not much Nick. Not much can be done with a spiked leash. I guess it could be useful in hanging myself. That is probably what they want me to do. In self defense I must use it to suffocate one of the people. By doing such, but not killing him, I have a man's life to barter with and can hopefully use it to get out of the white room.

>What color is it?
Black leash, silver spikes.

>>38283829
I don't remember specific ones. They've become just a normal part of life for me. And yes, right there, you are telling me I may not have autism. Based on legitimately nothing at all.

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>>38283806
Damn...

I've been thinking about suicide alot these past few days.
Its not those random emotion rushes I had before.
Now it's just cold thinking about my options and what would I leave behind

>>38283832
Glad youre doing good today York

>>38283888
Welcome back. Glad to see you. Let's hear where you're up to with things.

>>38283904
The evidence still stands. However my concentration on it fades in and out as always.

Can you tell me what I said yesterday? I don't remember all that well.

>>38264949
>>38283967
>The issue is that I see evidence. I see evidence of people betraying me. I'm in therapy right now but it's not for paranoia. I don't know if I came here to vent or if I came here so I could try and get confirmation as to whether or not I'm paranoid but I'm here all the same. Unfortunately I cannot tackle the situation, as without being a scummy cunt and bugging people and their houses and computers, I cannot make sure they are not betraying me.

Assuming I did it right, you can look over the whole thread there.

>>38283835
Well, I'm here now so inertia is likely to keep me around for a little while. I'm not sure about my future participation. I need to think more about it.
>>38283837
I'm not sure how I'm doing. I thank you for checking on me.

>>38283668
I don't actually do anything so that the owe me, at the time it just seems like the right thing to do to help them. But I do believe in an eye for an eye, or being even. Implicitly, I probably do keep score. But maybe I should stop feeling like it's up to me to save people?

>>38283891
we'll see how long it lasts. right now im looking in to a bunch of stuff i want to do.

are you making any progress?

>>38284017
Ah. That makes sense. Yesterday someone I care about made a joke about me and continued to make it. It seemed like a developed joke. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyway, she was making the joke with her friend and they were laughing about it. They didn't develop the joke in front of me, though. Which leads me to believe that it was done behind my back.

The thing also that gets to me is when she types. She types so much in skype and it really gets to me where it goes, because it's not searching, it's messaging. There's a clear difference.

The other thing is a language barrier I have when me and her friends are together in any form. I do not speak the dirty viking language and it makes me fear they are communicating about me right there in front of me. I have considered learning the language and think I might.

>>38284142
I hope that made sense

captcha: westwood capp

>>38284120
As I said, im starting to consider suicide again so thats progress but not the good one i guess
I just dont see the point anymore, im getting numb
There is norhing to look forward to, nothing makes me happy

>>38284142
>>38284156
So when we boil it down, she has a private joke that you're not privvy to and that she speaks - possibly gossips - in another language with someone else, potentially as a means of excluding you. I'm not really following the Skype thing since I'm something of a Luddite.

It's perfectly reasonable for you to be suspicious here. It could be completely innocuous but it's very rude at the very least.

>>38284177
what about uni? you had plans right?

>>38284226
She does not do it on purpose supposedly. She often explains what was said. But it always worries me.

What I meant with skype was that when we are calling I hear her type a lot. I do not ask who she types to as I don't really want her to know I feel like this. And coming here runs that risk as I know she likes to browse /g/.

>>38284227
Yeah but that doesnt make me feel any better
It not like that would give me any new goal in life

>>38283862

You should consider taking some time out for 3 weeks. There should be monasteries somewhere where you can go for a while. It may help to experience something different for 3 weeks. It has to be 21 days at least, so your brain can adapt to something else.

Are you interested in doing that?

>>38283864
>Not much Nick. Not much can be done with a spiked leash. I guess it could be useful in hanging myself. That is probably what they want me to do. In self defense I must use it to suffocate one of the people. By doing such, but not killing him, I have a man's life to barter with and can hopefully use it to get out of the white room.

That's gold. First you say not much can be done with it, then you can do a whole lot. The first thought you have is suicide (remember your heavy depression). Then you assume others want you to die (not a light belief). Then you imagine you'll be attacked and must take control of one of them to escape the room. Nobody said the room was a prison or that you were there against your will. Maybe it's like a hospital room to heal you, you know? Maybe the staff are nurses and doctors, or volunteers who want to help you.

Ponder these things for a bit. It's very interesting. I like my white room exercise.

>>38284312
What's this exercise? I want to play.

>>38283881
>I don't remember specific ones. They've become just a normal part of life for me. And yes, right there, you are telling me I may not have autism. Based on legitimately nothing at all.

Based on experience. I work with people who have autism and many who would be diagnosed with it if they were in America, but aren't autistic at all.

Again, I'm not telling you that you aren't autistic, I am telling you to remain open to the possibility that your condition is something else. It seems you are very attached to that one condition and become aggressive if I threaten that notion. Ask yourself why.

Can you make up a dialogue based on your experience with people? Something where things go wrong.

>>38283891

Depression is a serious issue; focus on the fact that it's an illusion. It's an illusion that is very convincing. Being drunk doesn't make the world unbalanced and blurry; depression doesn't make the world sad and sinister.

>>38284263
well you seem to be more reasonable than i was back when i was in your situation.
i always assumed that things would automatically get better if i just progressed further in life. that's the main reason i went through university.

>tfw getting a good education to cure depression
>doesnt get better until i start dealing with my problems instead of trying to fix life.

it did help though, in the way that it gave me some perspective. even though i felt like shit all throughout my education i've afterwards been able to used it in improving.

i used to be much worse than i am now, even on my bad days.
a goal is not important to have. i find what brings me joy in my good days is a path i find interesting to take. there's no finish line

>>38284312
Fascinating. I definitely didn't get the impression of being in such a room against my will. Why on earth would hospital staff bring in a spiked leash?

Well, if I am in this room, they probably wish to do something bad with me. At best it would be a quick death. At worst slow experiments that deconstruct my body bit by bit until I cannot recognize it any more, dealing with eternal agony in my freakish new body while being unable to die. I just couldn't see how a collar would be useful in those experiments, so it must be merciful.

How do I trust they would let me go if I said I wanted to go Nick? They put me in this room without my consent, I can't imagine being given the freedom to leave. They come in with a collar with no given explanation into a room with nothing but white walls, I prepare to fight my way to safety since this must be an alien race or super advanced form of society that seeks to watch my death. It isn't humanity trying to kill me, it is the aliens.

>>38284312
>>38284346
im following this as well

>>38284271
I wouldn't attempt such a thing, now.
I hate religions, i wouldn't want to be surrounded by those dolts.

There isn't a place i can be alone undisturbed, a place i can call home.

I sometimes wish i can just take my shit and leave ti anywhere but here, but i would be homeless and miserable.
And with no money I'd be worse than I were before.

>>38284351
> would be diagnosed with it if they were in America
Yeah, that's the DSM for you. I technically have Asperger's Syndrome, but in the DSM V it officially doesn't exist anymore and is just lumped in with 'autism spectrum disorder'. What I'm becoming aggressive at is the fact that you're questioning the truth of my mental disorder, YES diagnosed by a professional, that I have lived with for eighteen years and suffered every goddamn day for. Would you tell a person who claims they have depression that they just need to be happier?

And it's very circumstantial, hard to describe, hard to make up. If I run into one particular situation and fuck up in it, I don't make the same mistake again. But there's a never-ending variety of situations that it's possible to fuck up in.

>>38284045

I sure hope you will stick around and participate. I missed you. It's not the same thread without you. Nobody else does what you do.

Are you OK?

>>38284113
>But I do believe in an eye for an eye, or being even. Implicitly, I probably do keep score. But maybe I should stop feeling like it's up to me to save people?

First and foremost, you should drop the eye for an eye thing, because it won't work for gifts. The instant you reprimand someone for not helping you when you have helped them before is the moment your kindness dies. After that, nothing you do to help others will be considered help. It'll be considered manipulation and people will actually resent you for helping.

This sounds like it's what they mean when they accuse you of being "entitled".

>>38284226
>It's perfectly reasonable for you to be suspicious here.

I'm not so sure here. Your paranoid nature influences your advice here. If that girl does all these things naturally, it's probably because she has nothing to hide and is in fact doing nothing she shouldn't be doing.

You can't ask people who share the same first language to use a second one just because you're there, it's very hard to do, especially if they're in a country where that's the language.

>>38284262
>She often explains what was said.

Stop worrying about it. There's nothing to worry about here.

>>38284346

You're in a white room, no windows, just a white room, and you on a chair. There's a door, people bring something inside: what is it?

>>38284403
>Why on earth would hospital staff bring in a spiked leash?

Remember, you chose what they brought in.

I like how this exercise works. It's insane! So revealing.

You expect all sorts of horrors, when this room could be part of some rehab institution for people with trauma, and the staff brings in whatever you want to heal. You wanted a leash, they got you a leash. The whole place may be there to help you, and you can leave whenever you please.

From what you say, you live in a world that's intent on controlling and punishing you, inhabited by mean people who want to do you harm. I'd say all this vision is tainted by your childhood.

>>38279739
I'm feeling pretty hopeless and undeserving of help right now. Why should I apply myself towards becoming a better functioning human being? Whenever I've worked hard for something I've fucked it all up, so why would this go any better? What if I try to improve and come out on the other side worse for my efforts?

dude lmao nick just kill yourself already hahahaha

>>38284482
>YES diagnosed by a professional, that I have lived with for eighteen years and suffered every goddamn day for. Would you tell a person who claims they have depression that they just need to be happier?

The difference is that I am not giving you oversimplified solutions to your problems. I'm only telling you to keep an open mind. As you know, the Asp was removed from the DSM and placed under something else. Experts have wrongly diagnosed people as either bipolar when they were Borderline and vice versa. Mistakes happen.

I'm not questioning the facts: I believe you when you say socialising is a problem and people avoid you. I'm not questioning that. I'm only telling you to consider other possibilities as well.

Do you normally get this upset against people and is that one of the reasons why they avoid you?

>>38284654
Perhaps. I see the sense in what you're saying. However it is undoubtedly exclusionary and impolite to speak in a language that a third person does not share. It is reasonable for that person to wonder whether they're discussing something that they'd rather keep that person from. That is, to me, a reasonable conclusion to draw and out of politeness that situation oughtn't to arise. I suppose it does make a difference as to where these speakers are, relative to the languages spoken, however.

>>38284677
I dunno if I'm doing it wrong here, but I imagine the room to be an interrogation room, i.e. there's a one-way mirror. There's a noose hanging from the ceiling. The people - police - bring in a handgun. I'm no expert by any means but it looks like a 9mm. Something like that. One of the cartridge loading ones, anyway.

>>38284662
It's hardly the only thing bothering me. And it's not only her I worry about, although it mostly is.

I do my best to try and not care about my friends because if I do I get the feeling they betray me. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for relationships and family members. It often occurs to me that my parents love my other siblings more than I, however I suspect it's because I'm the oldest and I moved in with my grandmother. The problem is not that I feel this way. I think it's normal. The problem is when it makes me sick and shaky and makes me hate the people who have done nothing obvious to hurt me.

>>38284736

I'd like to see what you'd answer to your own questions, actually. Give it a try, see what happens.

>>38284793

I love that white room exercise. What's the handgun for? What's done with it?

dude lmao nick come on you know you want to kiss your sister

>>38284833
I imagine that they're showing it to me as evidence. I feel ashamed. Then they're telling me I have to do it again. I don't know what's going on with this exercise but it seems to be resonating with something emotional.

>>38284855

They tell you you may not remember what you did with that handgun, so you have to imagine what may have happened. What do you tell them?

kiss your sister nick lmao you know you want to haha

>>38284724
Actually Nick that sounds exactly like my perception of people and society in general. I harbor a great distrust and you pretty much explained way.

haha nick i'll kiss your sister for you if you don't haha

>>38284897

We've made progress there, Coats. Do your best to become as aware as possible of how you imagine the world out there, and, if possible, try to imagine that things may not be how you fear they are.

Imagine that I am one of the people who work at the white room, imagine me bringing the leash, because you asked for one. There are good people out there.

haha nick i'm kissing your sister right now lmao you want pictures?

>>38284885
I tell them I'm not sure, and that I don't own a gun, since I'm British. That it's probably some kind of mistake and that I hope that no one was hurt.

However, what I imagine is following someone after leaving a bar, down an alley. I'm raging, I don't know why. I'm losing it. I hit them with the gun, and I'm no longer myself. I'm effectively on all fours clutching their head, the gun unloading round after round into their head, the blast of the gunfire a roar spoken through the muzzle of the weapon

haha nick wow your sister's a fiesty little whore lmao she's blowing me right now you want pictures so you can stroke your penis to it haha?

>>38284962
So instead of assuming that there are people trying to experiment on me, assume you are helping assist me with suicide.

haha oh wow nick your Loved One came over too and she's letting me eat her asshole out lmao it's pretty good you want pictures lmao?

>>38284809
I'll give it a shot
>Why should I apply myself towards becoming a better functioning human being?
It would give me an unattainable goal comprised entirely of scope creep to strive towards, giving me some form of unguided purpose for some time. If I am somehow successful, maybe I would have a shot at truly being happy.
>Whenever I've worked hard for something I've fucked it all up, so why would this go any better?
Easy question. It wouldn't go any better, and it would probably be even worse. The more invested I am in something the worse I perform.
>What if I try to improve and come out on the other side worse for my efforts?
On one hand I could be successful and reach for happiness, but on the other I may slip and lose everything. I know that everything could absolutely be worse than it is now.

nick lmao i'm having a threesome with your LO and your sister haha wanna come watch haha it's not gay or anything lmao

jesus christ nick your mom came over too and she's eating my ass lmao it's awesome haha

>>38285047
I've got a confession to make. It wasn't Nick's sister. It was me. It was me all along. They were all me. By the way, you should get yourself checked.

oh my god nick i'm cumming lmao

>>38285096
haha wow

>>38284980

I imagined something like that too.

The police officers inform you that you were seen by several witnesses and all agree that you acted in self-defense and even saved someone else from a violent assault. They give you some coffee and prepare you to meet the family of the person you saved, because they want to thank you in person. The person you saved, Alice, will want to see you also, but later, when she has recovered.

There is no guilt to be had. You did what you could, and you did well. Be at peace.

>>38285007
>So instead of assuming that there are people trying to experiment on me, assume you are helping assist me with suicide.

Bond trips.

No, Coats, assume I'm here to help you. Because I'm here to help you!

>>38285024

That was pretty low, man. I know you're doing this just so I give you some attention, so here's your (you).

Leave LO out of it, or I may ignore you permanently.

>>38285114

What the hell is happening to you tonight?

lmao nick haha lmao LO's pegging me now it's great lmao my asshole hurts lmao

lmao this actually really hurts a lot haha please make her stop i think i'm bleeding lmao

>>38285145
Well what is the purpose of the leash then Nick? I already said it was useless beyond for either killing myself or another.

>>38285026
>If I am somehow successful, maybe I would have a shot at truly being happy.

Sounds like a plan, go for it!

I think you should separate your mental well-being from your projects. They don't have to go hand in hand.

>>38285072
>jesus christ nick your mom came over

Tell her to send my diary back. If you knew where that mouth had been, you'd not want it anywhere near your anus. Trust me. Plus your anus would be jealous as fuck.

lmao please somebody get her to stop she found a bigger strapon i can feel it hit my lungs this isn't fun anymore lmao haha

guys i'm spitting up blood i think LO's going to fuck me to death haha please help me lmao

>>38285247

Another staff member brings a cool dog in the room. It's for you. You put the leash around the dog's neck and he looks badass as fuck. You're now off for a walk with the dog.

lmao haha it's getting hard to breathe haha help

>>38285281

This is actually funny. You're a right nutter, anon.

>>38285317
Great, now the staff member is trying to throw me with some obligation to take care of another life form. All for an animal that probably wouldn't even care about me and would just bark every time it saw me. I haven't had good experiences with my family pets.

lmao nick's LO is biting my ear but like it's not like a gentle nibble i think she's trying to really bite my ear off haha please help me haha

lmao LO finally took it out lmao my asshole's gaping lmao it really hurts but she's letting me stick my shaft into her hairless cunt now so i guess it's okay haha

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>>38285133
My friend, please amend the treat you extend:
A copper pot of coffee is not a proper offer;
Let me proffer instead a spectacular blend
Of my finest leaves of tea - I believe you'll very soon soon see
(As our mutual friends see me) and how we
Intend to keep ourselves free from malice,
In brewing a splendifferous stew to feed
To my nearest,
My dearest,
My perfection
My
ALICE

>>38285363

The dog is a therapy dog. He was selected because he's a cool badass who loves everyone. He rubs his head against your leg. You don't have to walk him, it's your choice to make. But the dog is happy to see you and wants to go out and play.

>>38285414

Nice.

No idea why I chose Alice. It just came to mind.

mmm she's tight lmao

fuck nick you're missing out lmao are you sure you don't want pictures? LO looks pretty nice in the lingerie she's wearing

>>38285264
>separate your mental well-being from your projects
>implying I have projects

>Sounds like a plan, go for it
I don't have a plan. Even if there was a plan, there's no guarantee my situation would actually improve and not get worse. I'm sure it's said better somewhere else than in the song stuck in my head, but is familiar hell better than unknown heaven? Now I feel dirty and overly dramatic for using song lyrics.

>>38285545

What will you do if I say "Yes, post,"?

Silly.

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>>38285562
and there I go fucking up being a namefag again

>>38285590
I drop it all the time, don't worry about it.

>>38285562
>is familiar hell better than unknown heaven? Now I feel dirty and overly dramatic for using song lyrics.

I was more familiar with the John Milton version of this, "Better reign in hell than serve in Heaven," which is a reversed version of the original by some Greek, probably Virgil, I forget.

An unknown heaven is better than a familiar hell, and I'll keep that one because it's key to most therapies: people have to leave a familiar hell for an unknown heaven. There's everything to win from an unknown heaven.

>>38285608

I never drop it because I don't post anywhere else. That's the key to success.

>>38285420
If I can leave the hospital, I probably would do such. The dog would probably attack me at some point, I can't trust it and the entire time it is around me I will be paranoid the dog is just going to attack me.

haha she's begging me to impregnate her. should i do it lads? hahaha lmao i wonder if nick would be jealous

>>38285639

Just when the dog smells you and feels your vibes, you can do the same. That's how animals see if there's danger in the other.

It'd be obvious to you that the dog is a cool badass who already thinks you're his buddy. Your paranoia evaporates as the dog licks your face.

i'm doing it. she'll birth my child. nick will never know this joy. haha if it's a boy i'll name him nick lmao

>>38285703
A badass dog doesn't sound so good to me. It sounds like a tough rottweiler that would want to chew my head off as soon as the owners weren't around to protect me.

>>38285736

Is tonight the night you finally shoot your load to the few posts I type for you?

Holy shit, man.

>>38285752

What would it take for you to trust the dog?

>>38284605
I get that what you're saying, but I'd feel like shit if I knew someone helped me out in a bind and I didn't pay it back. It sounds entitled to not help someone who's helped you, imo. Can you explain why that's not correct?

>>38285623
That's probably the saying I've heard before. While yes there is everything to gain from an unknown heaven, there's also everything to lose in the unknown hell. I'm not at the point where I have nothing left to lose, and I don't know if I want to risk that to reach for something I doubt I can obtain. If I took a great leap towards the unknown heaven and missed I don't think I would ever be able to attempt it again, let alone climb back to the point I'm at now.

i feel content. LO will have my child, and nick will never see her again. maybe next time he'll think twice before cheating on someone.

haha

>>38285813
Why is it necessary for me to trust the dog? Can't I just avoid dealing with the situation entirely?

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Help, I saw a feminist video on YouTube and I realise that I am guilty of toxic whiteness and masculinity. How do I atone for my unearned privilege? Is castration too good for me?

LO and i are cuddling right now and it's a great feeling. i don't care about her at all, but she's pretty good in bed and nick wants her, so i'll keep her. haha lmao

>>38285885
better keep this up to bump limit

>>38285821

This is a problem many here have. Helping is not trading. Friends who help friends do NOT expect to be "paid back", not this directly. Friends help friends because they like helping them. Yes, in the long run, you do imagine that such friends will also want to help you, but not because they "have to". You don't want them to feel obligated to help you, you want them to want to help you, which is different.

When you help them or give them something, you do so free of charge, meaning you don't expect anything to come back from your action. If you do, they'll know and it'll become trading. Friends don't trade, they help each other, like a team.

When someone helps you, it's the same thing: if you have any reason to suspect they're helping you IN ORDER TO get something, then fuck'em hard. That is no help, that's an interested gesture meant to force your hand to something, no bueno.

You'd feel bad if someone helped you to make you owe them.

>>38285827
>maybe next time he'll think twice before cheating on someone.

This is probably why you're so angry. Have you been cheated on and use me as a stand-in for that?

>>38285854
>Why is it necessary for me to trust the dog? Can't I just avoid dealing with the situation entirely?

Yes, you can, but then you don't get to spend a cool ass time with a badass dog!

And the dog likes you, do you really want to make the dog sad?

>>38285856

Goddam it...

White dicks for the win.

My ancestors were the Romans. It's all earned.

>>38279739
How do I deal with my incompetence?Im someone who is asocial and whenever Im in a social situation Im usually in a "auto-pilot" mode.I dont really think straight and do everything mechanicaly this usually leads to me doing some stupid shit because I either didn't listen carefuly to what I was supposed to do or I was completely dissinterested.This has led to many situations where I made a fool out of myself or made a huge problem where I for insteance didn't bring the required papers for a interview.This is a really annoying character flaw that I have and I want to get it fixed.

>>38286025
Not much of a cool time when I could go home and avoid having to deal with the real life obligations of walking a dog.

Eh, does it matter if the dog is sad? I don't even know the dog. Plus the dog is supposed to be for the hospital, which means it can easily find another patient and be happy.

>>38286048
B-but all genders and races are exactly identical. There is no difference between any groups or individuals but for those advantages stolen by an oppressor group. The only reason that women aren't soldiers or CEOs is racism. Wait, sexism. Or both maybe?

I actually did a privilege checker and factored in all the across the board 'identification' elements involved with my our situation and got some ridiculous score into the thousands out of ten. So I suppose I have a free pass to be a shitlord. Or maybe only the secondary one does?

mmm she's so warm


haha

>>38286070

Was your father authoritarian and reprimanded you regularly?

>>38286081
>Not much of a cool time when I could go home and avoid having to deal with the real life obligations of walking a dog.

Is it possible that you cannot even imagine having fun walking a dog and playing fetch?

>Eh, does it matter if the dog is sad?

Why would it not?

haha looks like we're going for round 3 lmao

Time to hit the sack.

Nighty everyone.

>>38286238
Catch you tomorrow, I'm sure.

>>38286216
>Is it even possible?
I just don't see such an activity being fun. Going for a walk means trying to hold a leash and ensuring the dog doesn't run into the street or do something else stupid. It would be an obligation on me to keep him safe and I don't even know the dog. As for playing fetch, what is the point? To throw a stick and have your arm get tired because the dog doesn't get tired, then have him even more disappointed in you?

>Why would it not?
The dog is a dog that isn't mine but belongs to a hospital. There is no emotional attachment here, no sincerity, it is all a sham in the name of public service.

>>38286238
Night Nick! Until next thread.

>>38286190
Yes,he kinda was.He didn't like that I was introverted so much so when I was a kid he would bring me with him whenever he was visiting someone.I guess he was trying to "fix" me but it didn't work.I believe he is dissapionted in my in that regard,because Im not like him,im not "Chad".But over the years he seems to have accapted me for who I am,though we still don't like eachother,we're two different worlds.

>>38286238
Night Nick. I realize I'm a stubborn person, but thanks for staying with me and trying to help.

>>38286435
>288 posts
>27 people

disgusting

>>38286419
taking you on his errands doesn't sound authoritarian. it's an integral part of growing up (knowing how the world works). do you have any other memories that exemplify better his authoritarian behaviour

>>38286806
Why did you specifically link my post?

>>38287031
i just linked the last post for a fast reply

>>38287080
Uh, alright

>>38286015
he's not angry you idiot, he's just poking fun at you.

you reek of amateur psychologist. you would be a terrible psychologist even if you did get certified

I really think I should take a break from the internet for a while. It's seriously fucking with me lately. I'm not living my life as fully as I should be, and I've been living this way for around 4 or so years now. I'm fucking tired of it. I just want to be someone that I can be proud of, I want people to think of me as normal, not someone that is the object of everyone's pity.

/blog