My average day

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So, My average day goes something like this.

>Be me
>Wake up from my 24 hour nap feeling sleepy, i need more sleep than an average human.
>Get dressed in a 3k dollar suit laced with gold
>Take the elevator down to the bottom floor of my 965 story mansion
>Meet all 37 girls i picked up last night, and give them all my number
>Get my personal 5-star chef to make me cereal
>Cut up an extra 30 lbs of various fruits, gotta be healthy
>Sprint 90 mph and finish it off with a running long jump directly into the cockpit of my spaceship (Yes, i time travel)
>Turn up the engines to warp speed and bail out of my mid flight ship
>Land on to the roof of the local gym with no parachute
>Drill a hole into the roof with my laser eyes (Oh yeah, I have the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes)
>Hover down to the nearest treadmill and start running at light speed
>Every girl within a 500 mile radius is instantly in love with me
>They all beg for me to impregnate them with my 77 inch flacid dick
>I agree, i have nothing better to do
>Just as i am about to ejaculate i get a call from my employer telling me that an asteroid is heading for earth
>I zip up my pants and summon a saturn 5000 rocket to fly into the atmosphere
>I leave the rocket and jump into space, heading for the asteroid
>My fist starts heating up as i fly into the asteroid
>My fist is on fire and i punch the huge space rock, shattering it into thousands of pieces and directing them away from the earth
>I land back on earth, right in front of my office
>I sit down at my desk, ready to begin my boring day job.